Chapter 23: The trial – part 2.

It's only about an hour after we go out to take a break that Elsa starts looking a little better, probably thanks to the glasses of soda and pieces of chocolate I brought her. However, she still looks pale like a ghost and her eyes are red and puffy, but she insists that she's okay now, and so we return to the court room.

As expected, her father's lawyer now has his chance to interrogate the witnesses, and his first request is for Elsa to come to the front. I don't want to let go of her hand and let her walk there alone; she looks incredibly fragile right now. But I can't go up there with her and I know that Elsa is stronger than she seems, so I reluctantly watch her walk towards the witness's stand and sit down, visibly frightened.

I hope, for Elsa's sake, that the questions aren't too difficult.

Unfortunately, against my wishes, as soon as the first question is spoken, Elsa tenses up and starts taking rapid and shaky breathes, her eyes widen and her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. I instantly know she's really distressed.

In that moment, however, Mr. Gunnarson stands up and says something, the judge apparently agrees with him and Mr. Vargson is forced to ask a different question. This, however, doesn't seem to alleviate Elsa's tension much, as she stammers while trying to answer. At this, the lawyer makes another inquiry and she tries to respond, but soon she's saying something under her breath and then tears start falling from her eyes.

"…Monsteret." She says, now loud enough for me to hear it. I may not know much Norwegian, but that word is close enough to English to know what it means. Monster. She's calling herself a monster again, and my heart is breaking for her, especially since she's hugging herself, pain and vulnerability clear in her blue eyes.

Mr. Vargson starts asking questions again, and I want to yell at him to shut up, because with each word Elsa breaks down a little more. But before I can protest my girlfriend starts hyperventilating and is barely able to breathe through her sobs. I'm thinking we should really stop the trial right now before something happens to her, when suddenly she tenses up and stops crying, her eyes closed and her body completely loose.

"Elsa!" I scream in panic, thinking that maybe something happened to her and before anyone can stop me I run towards her. Thankfully she's still breathing, and it looks like the emotional stress caused her to pass out. Her breathing is ragged, almost like she's exhausted.

I quickly hug her and, after the judge says something, my father comes and takes her in his arms, carrying her outside. Everyone starts heading out and I have to ask what happened. Mr. Gunnarson explains me that the judge decided to continue the trial tomorrow since Elsa is clearly not okay. Apparently because the other lawyer asked about her brother's death, a subject so delicate for her that she hasn't even told me about it. So it's not a surprise that, when the doctor checks her, he says she suffered two panic attacks, which probably left her completely drained and made her pass out. It still worries me though, because Mr. Vargson will probably ask the same question tomorrow and Elsa won't be able to answer. This could be a major problem if we want to win the trial. There has to be a way around it. I just have to figure it out.

"Anna, dear, are you okay?" My mom asks me as I keep staring at my girlfriend's sleeping body while trying to think of something.

"I'm fine." I shrug. "Just worried about Elsa. I wish there was some way I could keep her from being interrogated again."

"She'll be fine, you'll see." She says with a sympathetic voice as she sits down next to me. "She's stronger than she seems."

"I know." I sigh. "But I still feel like I should protect her, you know? I mean, she's already been through a lot… I think she deserves some peace."

"I understand sweetie, but there's nothing you can do; the jury needs to hear Elsa's answer. She has to say it."

"But… she was so nervous, I mean she had a panic attack! I don't think it'd be easy to reveal your most painful anecdote to a room full of strangers. Maybe it'd be easier if she just had to tell me…" Suddenly my eyes widen as I think of a plan that was so crazy it could actually work. "Wait… would a recording be good enough for the jury?" I ask, with hope clear in my eyes. My mother quickly understands my intentions and thinks it's a good idea, because soon she'll pulling out her cellphone and calling Mr. Gunnarson.

"Hi, Mr. Gunnarson." She says to the speaker. "No, she hasn't woken up, but I have a question. Would it be enough for the jury to hear a recorded version of Elsa's explanation of her brother's death?" She pauses, hearing the answer, nodding with a serious expression. "Alright, yes, I understand. I'll call you early tomorrow if we get it. Yes, thank you. Goodbye." At this, she hangs up and turns to me with a smile.

"What did he said?" I ask.

"He said that it could be enough, but it needs to be convincing. And I don't think that's going to happen unless Elsa doesn't know she's being recorded."

"I can do that." I say determined.

"Good, because now I'm going to see where your father is. I told him not to get lost gift-shopping." She shakes her head. "But I'm sure I can leave this to you." I nod and she kisses my temple. "Alright, good luck with Elsa." She says before getting up and leaving me alone in my girlfriend's room. I just hope this will be as easy as it sounds.

Three hours pass before Elsa shows any signs of life. I've been spending time checking facebook on my cellphone and mentally planning my conversation with Elsa, all while glancing at her every few minutes either to check if she's still sleeping or just to contemplate her beautiful face. Finally, she starts shifting a little, letting out a confused sound.

"Elsa?" I ask, which makes Elsa roll around to face me. She still looks sleepy, tired and sad, but despite all that, I can't help thinking her confused expression is kinda cute. "You finally woke up." I say with a smile.

"Yeah…" She tries to answer, but can't because of a series of coughs.

"Oh! Wait, I'll bring you some water." I exclaim, berating myself that I didn't think of this before, as I get up and run to the kitchen to bring her a glass of water. She takes it and drinks carefully before giving me the empty glass and a smile. "How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Awful." She admits with a grimace. "What happened after I passed out?"

"Not much." I shrug, trying not to give it too much importance, hoping that this way she won't worry. "The judge realized we probably wouldn't be able to continue with the trial today, so he postponed the rest of it until tomorrow. Oh! And he also said you'll have to see a psychologist to evaluate your state of mind, but don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine!" I notice her concerned face and tried to change the topic, so she doesn't stress out about this. "Then we brought you here and called a doctor. He said you'd had two panic attacks in a row and that was probably what left you drained, so my mom and I helped you out of your clothes and let you sleep for a few hours."

"That's… quite a lot." She sighs. "After two panic attacks there's no way the court is going to think I can take care of myself. We've already lost." The way she says it… it's so sad, so hopeless. I don't like it one bit.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I frantically say as I reach to caress her shoulder. "We have to stay positive. After all, it's common enough for victims to have panic attacks when faced with their aggressor." I try to reason with her.

"But this is not that type of trial." She retorts, as negative as ever, and I roll my eyes. "Plus… it's also common for criminals to have panic attacks, especially when they're discovered."

I feel a chill running down my spine. What she just said… is she implying she did kill her brother? But that can't be, I mean, Elsa is so sweet, so good… she couldn't hurt a fly, right? Though she did try to kill herself. And me. In one of her crazy attacks. Could that have been the case? I don't want to believe it, but…

In that moment I notice Elsa's confused face and so I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I should ask her before I start imagining the worst scenario.

"But you didn't… I-I mean…" I gulp. "You're not a… m-murderer, right?" I laugh nervously, because the idea of Elsa being a murderer is just so ridiculous, it can't be. But, if there's a chance it's true...

"No… I d-didn't k-k-kill him." She stutters. "It was an a-accident."

"Good." I sigh in relief, not doubting her words for even a second. If she says she didn't kill him, then I believe her. "But we should still practice what you're going to say tomorrow. You need to convince them that you're not some cold-blooded psychopath." I say, as a shove my hand into my pants' pocket and press the recording button on my phone.

"Okay." She sighs in resignation.

"So… how did your brother die? You've never told me that." I ask with curiosity.

"We went to the lake, on the first day of spring." She begins, sadness consuming her as the words tumble out. "We had brought our ice skates and we were having fun… But the ice was very thin, and when I went to the middle of the lake, despite my brother's warnings…" A sob interrupts her and I quickly squeeze her shoulder in another comforting gesture. "The ice started to crack, and I was too afraid to move. S-so he… he tried to pull me towards the shore using a small branch, but by doing so he ended up where I was before." As she whimpers I realize that just touching her arm isn't enough, and so I get into the bed with me and pull her close, relaxing when she snuggles against me.

"H-he fell?" I ask quietly, wanting to know the rest of the story, but at the same time hoping I could spare my girlfriend from reliving those events. "And… what happened next?" I ask when she nods.

"He yelled for help." She answers as her sobs grow stronger. "And I-I…" She closes her eyes and holds me tighter, obviously in a lot of pain.

"And you?" I prompt, not only because I want to get the recording and be done with it, but also because I think this will be liberating for Elsa, to get out that thing that's been tormenting her for years.

"I ran." She chokes out, her muscles becoming incredibly tense as she starts mumbling something I don't understand at first, but then I'm able to hear one single word. "Coward." She says with such a hateful tone, it gives me chills, but I still understand that she's saying it to herself. She hates herself because of what happened that day.

"Elsa! Elsa!" I shake her, trying to make her stop emotionally abusing herself. After a few moments she finally looks at me with a sad expression. "Elsa, what…? What you just said…" I pause, searching for the right words to assure her that this was not her fault at all. "You're not a coward. Even if you did ran away, I don't think that makes you any less brave. You were only a little girl after all, weren't you?"

"I was eight." She nods.

"See? It's not your fault that you brother died. Even if you had stayed, probably all you would've managed was to die while trying to pull him out."

"But… I-I couldn't save him!" She protests. "I tried asking for help, but…" She whimpers. "I-it was too late." She pauses, her gaze turning dark for a moment. "Maybe I should've stayed and died with him instead."

"No!" I almost yell as I place a shaky hand on her cheek, making her look up at me. "Don't ever say that again, you hear me? Never say that again." I reprimand her, remembering the pain I felt when I found out she had attempted suicide. And I didn't care about her back then nearly as much as I do now! If she did something like that again… I don't know what I'd do.

"I'm sorry." She chokes out. "I'm just a little depressed, it's all." She assures me. "Seeing my father didn't help much either, but I promise you, I'd never think of hurting myself ever again."

"You swear?" I ask worryingly.

"I swear." She gives me a little smile, before leaning in and chastely kissing my lips.

"Mmmhhh…" I moan, and instantly try to deepen the kiss, but before I can do that, she stops me.

"Anna." She says. "I'm sorry, but I'm really tired right now. I just want to sleep." She casts me an apologetic smile, but I can't help feeling disappointed, even if I know Elsa doesn't have the energy, nor the mood to make out right now.

"I understand. Would you like me to stay with you?" I ask, figuring that, if I can't make out with her, I may as well sleep with her for the first time… in a totally innocent way of course!

"Y-your parents won't mind?" She asks shyly, but I can see she wants to say yes.

"No, I'm sure they'll just assume I fell asleep while taking care of you." I shrug.

"… Okay." She answers with a tiny smile and a blush as she snuggles into the crook of my neck, making butterflies appear on my stomach.

"Alright, just give me a second." I say, remembering that I have to stop the recording; I really don't want the jury hearing my snores. Once that's been taken care of, I turn off the lights and, turning towards my girlfriend once more, I pull her close and hold her tightly against my chest. We're both so tired, it's no wonder that after just a few moments in this position, I feel my eyes closing.

"Goodnight... Anna." Elsa mumbles.

"'night..." I'm barely able to say before falling asleep.

The morning after the best night of my life so far (seriously, Elsa is super warm and comfy) Elsa went to her session with the psychologist who will evaluate her state of mind. I'm not worried because I know Elsa's not crazy and any person with common sense would notice that, but… I am a little worried about her dad. I mean, he's always so calm, like he's above everything, and the way he lies… he's almost too good at it. I'll be nearly impossible to make him tell the truth, but I need to find a way to do it.

And so, while Mr. Gunnarson tells the judge about the recording and we wait for Elsa to come here from her session with the psychologist, I try to think of a plan to break Adgar Frost's façade. I know I can't just go there and slap him on his evil face until he snaps, nor can I call him names or anything childish like that.

No, I have to be smart, cold and calculating. Like him. I have to make him look like the bad guy, and the only opportunity I'll have to do that is when his lawyer asks me to go to the front so he can interrogate me. I'm sure he'll do this because I'm the most important witness, the only problem is… I'm not sure what he'll ask.

Still… I think I know his weak point. He sent Elsa to the States because he found out she's gay, right? That and, based on little she has told me, he yelled at her and insulted her a lot because of that. She hasn't told me the full story, but at least that was the impression I got, which means it's obviously a touchy subject. He's homophobic, that's very clear, but he also thinks he scared Elsa enough to turn her off women forever… so, what if I told him that's a lie? What would he do? How would he react? Surely he wouldn't be happy at all. He'd probably start yelling and lose composure. At least I hope so, and as soon as I get called to the front, I'll test my theory.

For now though, I listen to Elsa tell me how her session went, and she sounds optimistic enough, so that's one thing less to be worried about. It also helps when the judge plays the recording and Elsa's tension diminishes considerably as she hugs me tightly and thanks me over and over again. I guess I did well; to be honest for a moment I was afraid she'd be angry at me for doing this behind her back, but no, I did the right thing.

After that, Elsa answers all the other questions easily enough. At first she does show some discomfort, but soon she's quite confident, answering the questions with a blazing look of determination in her eyes. And even though I don't understand a thing she says, I bet she made her father look even worse because for a moment there I saw his jaw clenching in rage, even if he knows how to conceal it.

Once the lawyer's questions for Elsa are over, he calls her dad… and he's a cynical bastard just like yesterday, if the way Elsa looks angrily at him every time he says something is any indication. But at least today she doesn't start yelling at him and he doesn't say anything bad enough to trigger another panic attack, which is a good thing, but I still keep holding her hand to give her some sort of support.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, it's my turn.

To say I'm not nervous would be a blatant lie, but at least I have a plan and a purpose, so I don't feel so lost. I can do this. I know it. I have to unmask that cruel man and show the jury the monster that he really is.

"Ms. Summers." The lawyer starts interrogating me with the help of an interpreter. "You met Ms. Frost last year, correct?"

"Yes?" I answer, but it comes out more like a question because I expected him to ask me something more… relevant.

"And what's the first thing you thought when you saw her?"

"Damn, that girl is beautiful!" I say, because really, that's' the first thing that comes to my mind, and though it serves to my plan, I think I shouldn't have said it so bluntly, and so I blush before trying to correct my answer. "Uh… but that's probably not what you asked." I chuckle. "I thought she seemed lonely and kinda unapproachable. And cold, mostly cold." I sigh, remembering the first day of class, when I first tried to talk to her. "She had kind of a rough exterior, but the interior is worth it." I add, lovingly smiling at my girlfriend, who blushes and gives me a shy little grin.

"Yes, but you did noticed something was off about her." He insists, pissing me off slightly.

"Well… not off." I clarify. "I said she was cold, and she almost never displayed any emotions, or reacted to anything. But once I started getting to know her better, I realized she probably wasn't what she seemed."

"But she kept herself isolated, almost like she despised human contact." He keeps on it, making me frown and glare at him for saying such things about my sweet Elsa.

"You know? That's kind of a rude thing to say about someone you don't know." I chastise him. "If she kept herself isolated it was only because she was scared of others, of the damage they might inflict on her like so many others have. People like her father, I might add." The lawyer's eyes widen at my answer, and I almost can't suppress a victorious smile.

What do you think, huh? It didn't turn out as you thought? You wanted me to say Elsa was crazy? Well, guess what, that's not going to work!

"I think her father was actually part of the reason she wouldn't speak to me at first." I add as an afterthought, remembering my plan and trying to redirect his questions towards it.

"What do you mean?" Mr. Vargson asks, confused.

"Well, he's homophobic, and he indoctrinated his daughter to believe homosexuality was wrong, so she obviously tried to repress her feelings by having no interaction with the girls she found… attractive." I purposely mark the word 'attractive', so it's clear that I mean it in a sexual way. Elsa shoots me a warning glance at this, but I ignore it; it's for her own good.

"Ms. Summers, with all due respect I don't think that my client would've taught his daughter such a thing." He says trying to stay calm, but I can see he's starting to get nervous.

"Really? Because the first time I tried to kiss her she was a trembling and crying mess because she thought she was doing something wrong." I can't even begin to describe his scared face as he found himself not knowing what to do now, which of course only made my smile widen even more and continue speaking much more confident now. "Even after we became girlfriends she didn't want anyone to know about our relationship because she thought they would all hate her like her father did." I turn to see Elsa, who's watching her father with a terrified face. "Hell, even now she's trembling in fear because she didn't want her father to know about us!"

At my words, all heads in the room turn towards her and she cowers even more. I instantly regret having spoken too much, thinking that maybe I crossed a line and this plan was stupid, when her father suddenly gets up and starts yelling.

"Er det sant, Elsa?!" He says, and his hateful tone even makes me flinch. "Er det sant du er en jævla lesbisk?!" Elsa shakes her head in panic, her expression so fearful and so pained, that it makes me want to go there and hug her, protect her from that man.

"Mr. Frost…" The judge tries to interfere, but Elsa's father isn't listening to anyone. He's past the point of reasoning… which granted, is what I wanted, but not if it makes Elsa look so terrified.

He keeps yelling, and Elsa starts crying, and soon enough a couple of court officers rush to try and placate him, while the judge tells me to get back to my seat. I don't waste any time, running towards my girlfriend and gently cradling her in my arms, rubbing her back as she cries and trembles. Whatever he said is hurting her deeply.

I apologize over and over again, because even if this clinches our victory, I didn't want to cause Elsa such discomfort. I expected her father to start yelling at me, not at her. I didn't want him to hurt her. I just wanted to protect her and I failed.

I, however, don't have much time to keep berating myself, because soon enough the judge announces that the jury is ready to pronounce their verdict (I know this because the interpreter tells us) and fortunately Elsa is composed enough to listen attentively to his words, even though I can see she's still a little shaken and tense.

The judge starts saying something, and I see Elsa's father about to protest, but then the hammer sounds and everyone starts getting up and walking outside. I turn to Elsa, trying to see any clue as to what the judge said, but her expression is the same as before, so I ask the interpreter instead.

"What did he say?"

"You won." He starts, but I don't let him say more as I start jumping up and down in excitement and congratulating my girlfriend. I knew we'd win, of course, more so after how her father started yelling today, but still… it's nice to be sure about it.

However, while I'm doing my little happy dance, Elsa's father approaches to her and tells her something that makes a fearful look appear on her eyes. I frown at this and quickly go towards him with my best glare firmly in place.

"Hey, leave her alone!" I say, standing between the two of them in a protective manner. "Don't you think you've already hurt her enough?" Adgar only looks angrily at me for a second, but I'm able to hold his gaze until he turns around and exits the room.

"Are you okay?" I say, turning to look at Elsa, once he's out.

"Kind of." She shrugs, trying to act like she's fine, but clearly she's still tense, like she's waiting for someone to appear at any moment and tell her this is all a sick joke. "I just can't believe that we won." She admits, and I quickly go to take her hands soothingly.

"We did win, it's real, I promise." I assure her. "But I can understand that it still doesn't feel quite like it for you. However, we still have a week before we go back to the States. I hope that's enough for you."

"Yes, and we will be relaxing and having fun and visiting places." My father interferes, giving Elsa a gentle smile, and I mentally thank him. "You'll be fine, Elsa."

"Yeah, it may take some time, but you'll get used to be finally free of that man." Gerda adds and at this my girlfriend finally smiles, her shoulders relaxing considerably. I know she's still tense and distressed, probably due to some kind of post-traumatic syndrome, but at least I know it'll all be fine from now on. We're together, we have all our lives ahead of us and we love each other. Just like it should be.