Chapter 20
"That is my wife." I heard Francis growl. I could hear the amount of anger in his voice. In that moment I wanted nothing more than to be in Francis' arms. I wanted to forgive everything that he had done and just let it all be in the past. Henry slowly turned toward Francis, almost amazed that his son would say something to him. His grip tightened on my bare leg. I winced. "Let her go," Francis commanded. I felt Henry's hand move down my leg, getting one last feel of my leg before letting go. He clapped his hands together and smiled at Francis, then he lowered his head into his hands. Henry acted like nothing happened as he drew his attention to a man sitting in front of him. It was just another happy evening for him, but I was still trying to pull myself together from what just happened. For everyone else, I was able to fight back or voice my opinion but against King Henry, I was powerless. I looked down at the food on the table and frowned.
Suddenly I felt a sickening feeling creep up from my stomach. Before I allowed my body to do anything I would regret I threw my chair back and ran out of the dining hall. With every step, I felt sick to my stomach, but I held it back until I was in my chamber and had the chamber pot in my hands. My body immediately lets loose of the sickening feeling into the chamber pot, even if I didn't want it to. It felt disgusting. Whenever I thought I was done my body would do it again, over and over. After my body had finally stopped I attempted to catch my breath by taking deep breaths. I leaned against the wall and wiped my face with a towel that was hanging in the copper tub next to me. I felt terrible and wanted to just lay on the floor. I didn't even want to move onto the bed that was only a few steps from me. Then as my body began to pick itself back up I could feel my body shaking. I was still scared. I never knew what Henry was doing or what he was planning on doing and it frightened me.
I was so tired of these things that were happening to me. Tomas, Count Vincent, and Henry. They were all men who tried to control me and tried to inflict fear in my heart. They all had succeeded and I hated it. My body felt like it could no longer handle the pressure and anxiety from it all. I slowly lifted my legs to my chest and squeezed them tightly. I just wanted to disappear. I didn't want to feel this pain anymore or deal with these type of situations. They were driving me to a point where I don't think I could ever come back from. I may even turn into another Catherine. Now I was starting to see how she got the way she was. She no longer let people step all over her. She protected herself and her kids any way she could.
The door opened to my chamber and in came Francis. He stared at me for a moment while he stood in the doorway. He looked like he was dealing with a child as he kneeled down next to me. When he noticed the chamber pot he frowned then looked up at me. "Are you alright?"
I slowly nodded but then my emotions took full control, forcing tears into my eyes and my hands to shake again. "I'm so weak." I managed to say. Francis' eyes widened as whimpers escaped my lips. "I didn't know what to do. I was so scared. I was even sick from all the fear bottled up inside of me."
Without warning, Francis placed his hands on each of my cheeks. He gently pulled my head forward, making me look into his blue eyes. They were shining brightly even in this dark evening. This was the man that I said would be my light even in the darkest of days. This was the man I had fallen in love with. But this was the man who locked me in a tower when things didn't go his way.
"I am so sorry," Francis muttered. My eyes widened when I heard the apology. I had almost missed it while I was in my own thoughts. When I looked at his face I could truly see all the guilt he was experiencing. His eyes were swollen almost, either from crying or not enough sleep. "I was so stupid. You were right. I never gave you a chance to say your peace." Francis looked down to the floor that was covered with a rug. He was avoiding looking into my eyes. "I hurt you but I still did it and for that, I am an idiot. To treat my own wife like that." He shook his head. "I am a fool." I heard a sniffle then Francis released one of his hands from my cheek to wipe his eyes, but he didn't take his hand away from his face. He covered it from my eyes. "I haven't been able to sleep, not without you. I've been up thinking about you. Wondering if I was ever going to make things right." He attempted a laugh but it was engulfed with cries. "Please, Mary. Forgive me." Francis finally looked back up at me, but when he did I was in utter shock. Tears stained his cheeks and his eyes were so red. I had never seen him like this before. I had seen Francis look like a beast. I had seen Francis furious. I had seen Francis act like a child. And now, I watched as tears rolled down his cheeks and onto the floor. I almost was scared to say something, but I forced myself to speak. "It's okay, Francis."
He stared at me blankly for a moment, blinking away the tears that remained in his eyes. "Do you truly mean that?" In my heart I did, but I was hesitant to fully forgive him. I think I'll always have some hard feelings about the whole situation. Seeing Francis like this now though is what made me forgive him. He was showing me that this hurt him as well and that he regretted it all. Francis pulled his other hand away from my cheek and used both hands to completely wipe his face. Then he took in a deep breath, attempting to get back the air he had lost from crying. His expression got much more serious than before. "What my father was doing was inexcusable. I will not tolerate it." It was strange to see Francis' whole personality change in an instant when he brought up his father. "But what can we do? Your father is the king. What he wants goes."
Francis glared off to the side then turned back toward me. "I'll find a way to fix this. I won't allow him to hurt you." There was the motivated Francis I knew.
"Have you heard about Kenna?" He asked me. I raised my brow, confused. He went on, "His behavior is starting to show through Kenna."
I didn't quite understand what he meant. Did he mean that Kenna was acting just like Henry? Or that something else was going on? I had only talked to her a few days ago and occasionally we would pass each other in the halls. She seemed okay, but at the same time, she acted very distantly. Something must have happened.
"Are you feeling alright?" Francis asked. Before I could respond he lifted his hand up and put it against my forehead. "You're feeling a little warm."
I grabbed his hand and pulled it away from my forehead. I held it in my hand. "Yes, I'm fine. I was just scared so I guess this was the way it wanted to come out." Francis slowly nodded, but he seemed to be skeptical. He moved on though, "So, will you be sleeping in our chambers tonight?" I smiled gently. "Possibly."