"But I wanna keep campin'!" Ben whined, watching as the tent was rolled up. "I like swimmin' and sleepin' on the floor with Dunner! And I like eatin' outside, and even I like usin' the outhouse!"

"Yeah me too! Aunt Lin, will you take me and Binyin campin' again sometime? We really liked it!"

"Maybe sometime, boys."

"And the next time we could eat from the earth!" Ben said, perking up. "Berries and fish and grass and other things what we find!"

"I will eat leaves," Junior decided with a nod. "And maybe a bird of some kind. If I can figure out how to die it."

"Oh no, not eat birds!" Avery begged, scrunching up her face. "They so nice. They chirp an' sing just for us!"

"Okay sissy Aves, I won't eat birds. How about a snake?"

"Ew!" she laughed, clapping her hand over her mouth. "That most nasty."

"Yeah Daniel, what if you get poison in you?"

"I didn't figure that part out yet, Sarah. Maybe when you cook it all the poison comes out."

"Speaking of snakes, look at this one me and Colt caught!" Isa announced, running up holding a snake between her thumb and forefinger. "It's not a dangerous one, right Indy?"

"Isabeth Grace Messer what in the world told you it was okay to pick up a snake?" Austin shouted, torn between going over there and taking the animal from her daughter, and staying where she was where she wouldn't have to touch it.

"Colt did! We looked in his book first to make sure of how to do it."

"Isa did it just like Steve Irwin, Austin! She did great. She even said "Crikey! Danger, danger, danger!"

Isa nodded proudly and used her free hand to pet the snake, which was obviously very uncomfortable and cranky.

"It's just a garter snake," Colton reported, holding his field guide open to the right page. "We made sure before we played with it. See, the markings are just the same. It's not poisonous either. It tried to bite us but we learned how to handle them long ago, so we were ready. So what should we do with it?"

"Let it go," all four parents chorused, in various states of irritation.

"But mama, look at him! See how part of his tail is different? It had to grow back because it got chopped off."

"Yes, but if we don't make you let it go now you'll want to take it home and we're not recreating Snakes on a Plane no matter how readily available the jokes would be."

"We'd better put it back, Isa. When mama does that tone of voice, she means business."

They trudged back into the bushes and let the snake go while Ben and Junior looked on longingly, wishing they too had been a part of the adventure.

"Alright kids who wants to go swimming one last time?"

There were whoops and hollers from all six kids, who had been wearing their swimsuits since mid-morning the day before, and had already taken one dip early this morning but found the water much too cold.

"Why don't you girls take the kids and Danny and I will load the car."

"How chivalrous of you."

"Yeah well, I was counting on you getting a little more tan so you best go work on that."

"Adam you're weird."

"Thanks babe, I try."

"C'mon kidlets, let's go swim."

They made their way down to the lake and the big kids ran directly into the water while Avery toddled out on the dock, laying down and peering over the side into the water. She reached over and patted at it gently, then swirled her finger around, hoping that some fish would come over to nibble on it.

"Mama, there whales in the lake?" she asked after a moment, her face scrunching in concentration.

"No, there's only whales in the ocean."

"Oh. Sharks?"

"Not in the lake."

"Oh. Mama, what live in lake?"

"Just some trout and maybe a few frogs and some periwinkles."

"Avery wanna live in lake. Like frogs. I sleep on big leaves!"

"A lily pad?"

"Yes! A lily pad. You come visit?"

"Sure, I'd like that. What would we do at your lily pad?"

"Oh, just ribbitt."

Austin laughed and sat down next to Avery, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

"Could I come visit you too?"

"Oh yes. Austin, you help me catch flies!"

"You're very strange, Averylin Grace."

"I know. Coley tell me an' Ben that."

She turned back to the water, humming to herself and getting lost in a world in her head.

"Hey Linds, if Ben can swim just as well as the rest of the kids, why does he still wear water wings?"

"He says he pretends they're his arm muscles."

"He's my hero sometimes."

"I know, he's crazy. But half his ideas come from Junior."

"They're going to be so much fun as they get older."

"I know."

"I really would like to stay here for a long time and not go back to work," Austin said, stretching a little before laying back against the dock.

"You don't like work or you like here better?"

"I don't know. I guess I just like who I am out here. I don't feel like I have to be rough around the edges."

"Who says you have to be anyway?"

"No one. It's just a part of myself that I've really built up. It's the Austin everyone knows. Everyone thinks I'm harsh and sassy and that I don't take things seriously. But that's not me, Lin."

"I know that's not you. And I think you'd be surprised at how many people know that there's more to you than your "tough as nails, don't take no crap from anyone, don't you dare bring the color pink around me" persona."

"I feel like it's time for a change. Like I need to focus on something else career-wise."

"You've been feeling that for a while."

"You know, I arrest bad guys, I can help to prevent other bad things from happening, I carry a badge and a gun to try and instill some kind of safety into the people of our city, but at the end of the day I don't feel like I've done a thing. I feel like I'm burnt out."

"No one burns out, Aust. They just lose focus. You've become so used to your job that to you it's nothing extraordinary. It's like the first time you eat pineapple with cayenne pepper versus the hundredth time you eat it. It's exactly the same, but it's so normal that it's lost its… specialness. You know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I know. Maybe I just need a break. Ride a desk for a while."

"Austin, you would go stir crazy in five minutes. I think what you want is to do good for more people. You want to do something that will affect the city, not just a few people in it."

"Yeah. It's not like I want my name on anything, or that I feel like some kind of hero. I just wish that what I did reached more people, that somehow, maybe the good could start to outweigh the bad."

"That's why we raise kids, Aust. That's why we teach them to be the best people that they can be, because we can't change the world on our own. It's going to be years and years and it might be when our great-great-great-great-great grandchildren are our age that it starts to happen, or it may never. The goodness we put in the world is not in the job we do, but the people we raise. Our job is clean up. It doesn't change people's hearts."

"It's discouraging."

"I know. Sometimes I sit and think about the changes the kids will get to see in their lives. I'm sure there will be bad ones, but there will be good ones too. I look forward to that for them."

"I wonder if twenty-five years from now, they'll all be sitting around like this, watching all their kids play together."

"I hope so. I know they'll grow up and they might grow apart but I hope that at least sometimes they all get together as a family again."

"I was thinking the other day about when it was just Colton, and how he used to just bask in all the attention. Then Isa came along and since then it's just been like a gathering storm."

Lindsay chuckled and watched as the kids splashed in the water without a care in the world. She'd give anything to make these times last just a little longer.

"So how did you kids like camping?" Dale asked as all the kids flooded back into the house, chattering excitedly.

"It was so fun Papa!" Colton answered. "We did so much stuff. Daddy says we all stink and have to have baths and Aves is first because she put mud all over herself."

"Oh, did you really do that, Sparkles?"

"Yep!" she shouted with a grin. "An' papa, now it time, we go see Taylor an' the baby!"

"Well you'd better get cleaned up before you go."

"Oh yes," she agreed, heading upstairs. "Someone come help me!"

Adam finished bringing the luggage in then followed her while the rest of the kids told Dale and Anne all about the camping trip, including the snake they found and how Danny had burnt the eggs that morning. Apparently his shrieking had been highly amusing and Isa was the first to dramatically reenact the whole thing.

"Hey now, that's not very nice, kiddo. I didn't jump around like a fairy!"

"But you did ask Indy if you were gonna start a forest fire."

"How about you Benjamin? You've been pretty quiet. How did you like camping?"

"It was fine and dandy," he answered with a grin. "I like hearin' 'bout what everyone else thinked of it. Next time mama said maybe we could go fishing. Sarah said she doesn't want to touch slimy fish and I agreed. So me and her will watch."

"Yeah, Benjamin and I like to look for bugs so we can do that while everyone else catches fish. Benjamin is real good at finding rolly-pollys."

"Yep, I am! Papa, could we ride horses now?"

"After you get back from Taylors and after dinner we'll let you guys ride."

"Whoo-hoo! Dunner, we could be like the guys from Bonanza!"

"Okay, I will be Hoss."

The boys ran off to plan their escapade while Colton, Isa and Sarah took their bags upstairs to the bedrooms.

"So what are you guys going to do while we're gone?" Lindsay asked counting the sleeping bags to make sure all of them had been brought in.

"I think we'll just stay here and let the kids play outside," Austin answered with a shrug. Originally she'd wanted to go into town for ice-cream, but she had no energy left for that. "How long are you going to be?"

"Maybe an hour. I don't want to overwhelm her with the kids, you know?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"Mama, daddy says it's my turn for a bath!" Ben announced, skipping back into the room. "I need to get my clothes."

"What would you like to wear?"

"Well since we are meetin' a new baby, I think I would like to wear my fancies."

"Ben, I didn't pack your fancies."

"Don't fret mama, I packed them. Even my shoes with the toe brushes. You will have to iron out all the wrinkles. And help me with my tie."

"Okay sweetie."

He went upstairs to take his bath while Lindsay's parents watched him, their eyes wide.

"Is he always like that?"

"Binyin is always doin' weird things," Junior commented, shaking his head. "That's why he doesn't got many friends but me."

"Daniel, that's not nice to say."

"It's okay ma, that's what Binyin even said to me before. He knows it. See, he's the kind of chap that doesn't need a lot of friends to feel important."

"I suppose he told you that too because you never would have come up with the word chap on your own."

"Probably. I'm gonna go play with sissy Aves now that she's out of the bath, but not if Sarah gets to her first."

He ran up the stairs and Austin laughed.

"So Lin, what was it you were saying earlier about the kids maybe growing apart?"

"Obviously I was wrong."

"First time! Mark a calendar!"

"I've been wrong before."

"You've never admitted it. This is cause for celebration, possibly fireworks and a champagne bottle broken over your head to christen you on your maiden voyage into the deep oceans of making a mistake."

"Apparently melo-drama runs deep with you guys."

Avery had never been so still and quiet in her life, even in her sleep. Even though her arms were too short, she was cradling Nolan as best she could with the help of some pillows, and kept leaning down to kiss him and tell him stories. She'd informed the boys very plainly that Nolan was a baby and she was not because she was so much bigger, then promptly climbed onto the couch and held her arms out, awaiting the sleeping bundle. The boys crowded around to look and had both given the baby little pats on the hand, but were more interested in seeing the model cars Josh had than staring at a sleeping baby.

"Mama, see how I a big girl?" Avery whispered, grinning from ear to ear. "Baby Nolan, he likes me. Right Tater? He likes me?"

"I think he does, sweetie. He's been a little fussy today but he seems pretty happy right now."

"He know how I love him. That why he happy. Later when we go bye-bye, he will say "where did Avery go?" He will miss me."

"Maybe we'll just have to talk on Skype more often so you can see him."

"Okay! See Baby Nolan, I not go 'way for long."

She kissed his cheek again and started to hum softly, rocking ever so slightly back and forth, staring at him in concentration.

"I love you so most," she whispered, kissing the end of his nose. "You be my buddy. Someday you see my Sarah. She the bestest. She love me an' I love her. We best friends. She so smart too. She teach you what she teach me. An' I teach you the rest, okay Baby Nolan?"

He didn't respond and she scrunched up her brow, glancing over at Lindsay.

"Mama, he not say yes."

"He's sleeping honey. He'll say yes when he wakes up."

"Why you cryin' mama?"

"It's okay sweetie," she assured, sitting down next to her daughter. "I'm just very proud of how grown up you look. My little baby isn't so little anymore."

"Yeah, I guess. I growin' on up. Austin say that too and then she give me a squeezy hug an' kiss. Mama, maybe you have 'nother baby!"

"No, daddy and I are pretty happy with just you three."

"Oh. I be the baby, but Baby Nolan too. His skin so nice mama. It feel gentle on me. He smell good. Sweet Baby Nolan, you is most precious."

She continued to fuss over him, clucking her tongue and cradling him closer, never once complaining that her arms were tired or that she was bored. She just sat there and held him as if it was the most important thing in her life.

Twenty minutes later it was time to go and Avery was having a hard time relinquishing her newfound love back to his parents. She tried to bargain with them, offering to take care of the baby for them, then asking if she could live with them so she could see the baby all the time. All her efforts were met with no's and she dropped her shoulders in defeat, finding comfort in her daddy's arms while everyone else said goodbye. Once she was in the car she perked up a little regaling the boys with her thoughts about Nolan, babies, and life in general.

"I grow up big an' I be a mama," she declared. "I be a good one. Like our mama. An' I love my babies an' play with them."

"I think you'd be a good mama, Aves. Because you love people so much. That's important you know."

"And you would be fun!" Ben added with a grin. "The same way how mama makes up fun games for us to play. You would be crazy like that and your kids will like you like we like mama."

"Yes? I be a good mama? Oh I so happy! It be soon. I have baby soon."

"You can't have a baby until you're all done with school," Adam reminded her, watching her reaction in the mirror.

"That so long daddy!"

"I know, but it will fly by and you will look back and wonder why you ever wanted to grow up so fast."

"I wanna be a mama," she said again with a nod.

"It's still your turn to be a kid though," Ben said thoughtfully. "Just ask Sarah, she will tell you."

"Okay I do that. I ask my Sarah."

She crossed her arms and stared out the window while Adam reached for Lindsay's hand, knowing she was feeling a little sad about the whole thing. She wasn't too keen on the kids growing up quickly but for Avery to already be planning on motherhood at the age of three, that was a little too much.

"She's still your baby," he assured, even as Avery began to tell the boys what kind of house she wanted.

"I know. She's just growing up faster than I want her to."

"It's different with her."

"It's easy to see me when I look at her. That's scary. I just want to keep her safe."

"She is safe. Right now we have to prepare her for the times when she won't be."

"Well if I can keep her little then she'll always be safe."

"Linds."

"I know. I'm still having a hard time letting her grow up. It'll pass. Either it will pass or I will pass but either way, she'll grow up and have whatever family she wants and she'll be okay. Just like you."

"I am okay, aren't I?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you for being the thing that made me okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

"I think this has been the best trip ever. We all needed it pretty bad."

"Yeah."

"I don't want to go home yet."

"We still have one more day."

"No, I mean back to my parents. Not just yet. Can we drive?"

"Just tell me where."

By four in the morning, Lindsay had given up on sleeping and got up from bed, much to the delight of Adam who normally loved sleeping beside her, but had had an uncomfortable night due to her tossing and turning. She leaned over and kissed him gently in apology, then left the bedroom, peeking in the one across the hall to check on the boys before going downstairs. Within minutes the coffee was started and the morning paper was pulled up on the computer and she sat reading quietly as the sun tried slowly to peek over the mountains.

There was a creak in the floor and she looked up, finding a sleepy Isa standing in the kitchen doorway, her long hair spilling around her and her hands clasped together under her chin. She looked like she was three years old again and Lindsay smiled, motioning for her to come in.

"I couldn't sleep anymore," Isa explained, climbing into Lindsay's lap with a sigh. "Just wanted to go outside again."

"It's too cold right now but later this morning."

"I didn't know you were awake."

"I didn't sleep so good. Want some coffee?"

Isa nodded and pulled the mug into her hands, breathing in the scent before taking a drink.

"I like coffee in the morning," she said softly, putting the mug back down. "Indy, I really love it here."

"Me too."

"I don't want to go home. I just want… I just want to stay here forever. And be free. I want to learn to ride a horse without a saddle and without reigns so me and that horse can just go anywhere and nothing will hold us back. I want to live in a place that is big enough for me. Sometimes in the city with all the buildings I feel like I'm in a jail. I can't just run and run and run. I could do that here. I could run and I could spin round and I could sing as loud as I wanted to. And it wouldn't bother anyone. But also there aren't many people here, so I would be heard."

"We always hear you, Isa."

"I know. I just mean that I wouldn't get lost in a city that has so many people. It feels like everyone matters more here. Like how your mom and dad treat me and Sarah and Daniel just like their own grandkids. That's really nice. I like that. People aren't like that in the city. Besides our family I mean."

"It's a different world here."

"In school we did a project where we had to write about if we were an animal what we would be and why. And a lot of girls picked dolphins and cats and things because they're cute. But I picked a homing pigeon. Because no matter how far they go or even how long they're away, they always come back home. And I want to be free and I want to see new places but I still want to come home. Ma explained to me that home isn't always a place, home is people and a feeling. Like how I feel home when you hold me like this and I feel home when me and daddy watch baseball, and I feel home when I go to the precinct and sit in Flack's chair, and I feel home when Papaw holds my hand and tells me he loves me. I think no matter how old I get, those things that make me feel home, I will always want them. Even someday when I'm an old lady, I will still want your lap, and baseball games with daddy, and sitting in Flack's chair, and holding Papaw's hand."

"Isabeth Grace," Lindsay started, feeling odd using her whole name. "I used to think that you were just like your mom, but the more you grow up, the more I see this amazing person you're becoming. You may be like your mom in so many ways, and I love that about you, but what I like even more is getting to know just you. Just Isa. I love you so much sweetie and I can't wait to watch you be free and I can't wait to see you come home too."

"I feel home here too, Indy. I feel it in the wind, and the way the dirt feels on the bottom of my feet, and I feel it when I look at the mountains all around and it seems like they're protecting us from everything in the world."

"That is exactly how I felt growing up."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't think I realized it until I was much older, but those are the same things I felt as a kid."

"Indy, I don't want to leave. I want to feel this feeling forever."

"I might have a solution to your problem," Lindsay said after a moment. "Give me a few minutes."

Isa nodded and moved into another chair while Lindsay stood up and went upstairs, being as quiet as she could as she crept into her old bedroom where Sarah and Avery were sleeping soundly, curled up in the bed together. She opened the closet and found the box that Avery had stumbled upon so many months ago, lifting the top and sorting through it until she found what she was looking for. Putting the box back into the closet, she made a quick detour outside before returning to the kitchen where Isa had finished the cup of coffee and was pouring another.

"I have something for you."

"What is it?"

Lindsay held up the old chain and Isa inspected the glass vial that hung from it.

"This was for sea monkeys a long time ago, but my brother flushed them," Lindsay explained, uncorking the bottle. "I know you can't take everything with you, but I figured maybe just a little bit of Montana dirt inside might help to remind you of that feeling."

"Why is there so much space left?"

"So you can add a little bit of earth from everywhere you go. Everywhere that you find a little bit of home."

Isa blinked several times, tried to ward off tears of unknown origins. She'd never felt quite so understood before. It made her heart feel wobbly and she wrapped her hand around the glass vial, looking at the dirt that was still damp with morning dew. She put the cork on tightly and pulled on the chain to make sure it was sturdy, then slipped it around her neck. It rested against her skin and she placed her hand over it, closing her eyes and thinking about the feeling this place gave her, hoping it would never go away.

"Thank you Indy. Thank you."

"You're welcome, my girl. Want to help me make breakfast?"

"Sure. Will you not tell anyone the stuff I told you?"

"Of course honey. It's just between us."

"I love you Indy."

"I love you too Isa. Thank you for telling me all that stuff."

"Thanks for listening."