Stay calm, Spencer. It's a mistake... It's gotta be a mistake. I lurched forward and grabbed Cheyenne, examining the bite. A small chunk of skin was missing, and the wound was bleeding. Not enough blood to cause immediate harm, but enough to be alarming. Despite knowing everything that was to come, my medical instincts kicked in full force.
"Someone grab me a cloth, towel, somethin'!" I yelped. I saw Daryl come around the side of Rick's vehicle, already ripping something up for me. He stopped abruptly when he saw Cheyenne holding her shirt up. Daryl's eyes fell on the bite, then up to me. I wanted to burst into tears, scream, go crazy. But everything inside of me just said, Stay calm.
"What happened?" Rick came around the side of the vehicle, kick starting everything back in motion. I snatched the cloth away from Daryl, who was just standing there not saying a word. Putting pressure on the wound, I ignored Rick's question and looked at Cheyenne. Her eyes were scared, but her tears had dried.
"Chy, you're gonna be fine, hear me?" I nodded my head, holding the cloth against her side. "Just fine."
"I don't wanna be one of those things." Cheyenne's eyes filled with fresh tears.
"You're not. I won't let that happen." I grabbed the small child that had become like my own, and held her close. "Gonna do everything I can." I whispered.
"There's nothin' you can do." Cheyenne whispered back, and I felt her jerk as she let out a small sob. Holding back my tears, I rubbed her head.
"It's gonna be okay." I whispered soothingly. It was all I knew to do. Everyone seemed to be gathered around watching. Once Cheyenne stopped crying again, I let go of her and looked at Rick. "New ridin' arrangements. Cheyenne and I are ridin' with you."
"Can we talk?" Rick jerked his head away from the group. I followed him in silence, only noticing Daryl when I heard his footsteps beside me. Rick stopped, turned, and looked at us with sad eyes. "When the time comes-"
"She ain't gonna turn. I won't let her." I cut him off harshly, my emotions getting the best of me.
"Spencer, your judgement is clouded." Rick said softly, and I laughed.
"My judgement is clouded." I mocked angrily. "Damn right, my judgement is clouded. She.. She is mine! She's like my, my own child. And she's bit! Now she's gonna die. And there ain't a damn thing I can do about it!" I walked away, not being able to handle the discussion. I felt Carol and Lori's eyes on me as I scooped Cheyenne up and helped her into the vehicle. Carol would ride with Daryl, while I stayed with Cheyenne.
I could see Rick and Daryl talking, I guessed about where to go next, and I looked down at Cheyenne. She was staring out of the window, her blue eyes dull and blank. When the car door beside her opened, she didn't even look over to see who was climbing in beside her. She turned her head only when Carl grabbed her hand.
The two kids stared at each other, both red eyed. I had to look away, a tear slipping from my eye. Wiping it away quickly with my finger, I looked back at the two kids. I didn't want them to see me upset. It would just make things worse. Carl and Cheyenne were holding hands, just sitting in silence. Cheyenne closed her eyes and let out a breath.
Pulling her a little closer to me, I rubbed her head gently. Rick climbed into the car and we were off again. I didn't know where we were going to go, but I didn't really care. Everything I had been fighting for, trying so hard to protect, would be gone soon. Tears threatened my eyes again. Trying to clear my mind, I thought about what I needed to do.
We had to find an empty house. Rick knew that as well as I did. I knew I didn't have to say anything. Rick knew my plan. It seemed like it was the most decent thing to do. I promised my little girl I wouldn't let her turn, and I wouldn't do that. I couldn't let her become one of those things.
The drive was quiet and seemed to last forever, before we pulled up to a house. Looking down, I noticed that Cheyenne was wide awake, just staring out of the window. The car door shut, and Rick was walking toward the house. Daryl, Glenn, and T-Dog followed him. Daryl looked at me through the window, his eyes I couldn't read. Looking away, I just held onto Cheyenne tighter.
The guys were in the house for a matter of minutes before they reappeared. Daryl walked over to my door and opened it. I couldn't look at his face as I stepped out. Don't make me look at you, Daryl. I'll lose it. I cursed him in my head. I turned to grab Cheyenne, but she was already in Daryl's arms. Following him to the house, I gave Cheyenne a weak smile. She sighed and snuggled closer against Daryl's shoulder.
Taking a deep breath, I looked down as we walked across the porch to the front door. I couldn't look, I just couldn't. Watching her accept her fate was breaking my heart. She wasn't panicking, she wasn't begging for some miracle. Instead, my little six year old who had been through hell and back, was accepting that she was going to die. I can't do this... YES YOU CAN. Spencer, you gotta be strong for her. Suck up your tears, dammit.
"Here, Spencer." Carol's voice pulled me out of my own thoughts. I turned to see her holding blankets.
"Thank you." I managed to half whisper.
"In here." Rick motioned for us to follow him. Walking behind Daryl, I noticed Cheyenne's eyes were looking heavy. Worry overtook me. Panic. Dread, fear. I ain't ready for this! We walked into the room, and Daryl laid Cheyenne on the bed. Covering her up, I watched her face, trying to see what she was feeling. Suddenly, her face squinched up.
"Water? I'm thirsty." She croaked groggily.
"Sure, baby." I left the room and walked down the hallway. Outside, I dug through our slim pickings of supplies and grabbed a bottle of water. Shutting the hatch quietly, my hand flew to my chest as a sob escaped. "Oh, God. Oh, God."
"Spencer?" Maggie ran over to me and grabbed me.
"Oh, God... Maggie." I cried, shaking my head against her shoulder. "Why? Why?" I couldn't say anything else.
"I-I don't..know, Spencer." Maggie admitted, hugging me tight.
"I.. I shouldn't... have, have let her run.." I was sobbing against her shoulder as she held onto me tightly.
"No! You can't blame yourself. It's no one's fault." Maggie said sternly. I let her go, backed away from her, and wiped my tears away.
"What do I do now?" I asked, drying my eyes.
"Take her some water." Maggie, who had tears in her eyes, nodded at the bottle in my hands.
"Water, right." I said, more to myself than her. Walking past Maggie, I trudged across the porch toward the front door. My chest tightened as I walked into the room where Cheyenne was laying on the bed. Offering up a smile, I handed her the water bottle.
"Thank ya." Cheyenne whispered, drinking the water eagerly.
"Knock, knock." Lori spoke softly at the door. I turned to see Carl beside her. "Carl wants to know if he can talk?"
"Of course." I nearly choked on my words. I gave Lori a thankful look. They weren't treating Cheyenne like a monster and I was so grateful to them for that. Carl stepped into the room and sat down on the end of the bed. Cheyenne gave him a little smile.
"Cheyenne, you gotta hang on, okay?" Carl said, and his voice cracked a bit. Trying to fight the tears, I looked at Cheyenne's face.
"I ain't afraid, Carl." Cheyenne said quietly. "I used to be. But not anymore. I understand what's gonna happen to me, and I'm okay with it. No more runnin'. Jus' go to sleep, and then I'll be away from all this... I'll be free." There were tears in her eyes, but she smiled. Daryl left the room in a huff, Cheyenne watching him go. Her face fell slightly at the sight of him storming out and I instantly felt angry. I turned around and looked at Lori, who understood.
"Chy, I'll be back in a minute, okay?" I looked at her.
"Okay, go 'head." Cheyenne nodded permission for me to leave the room. I stepped out carefully, then charged down the hallway.
"Where's he at?" I demanded at Rick.
"Went out the back door." Rick said quietly. Darting out of the back door, I saw Daryl standing near the edge of a wooded area behind the house.
"The hell was that?" I demanded angrily.
"What?" Daryl whirled around, his eyes full of hurt and anger swirling into a blue mixture.
"Your little exit!" I growled.
"I... When you went to get her water, I checked her head. Fever's already started." Daryl's eyes were locked on mine. Everything inside of me dropped.
"Already?... We gotta keep tabs on it... Oh, God." I stopped and looked up at him. "She needs us. She needs me and she needs you. We need to keep it together, Dixon." My voice was blank as I turned around and walked back to the house. Daryl was right behind me as we walked through the back door and back to Cheyenne's room. Carl was holding her hand, and Cheyenne's eyes were closed. "Chy?"
"I'm okay." Cheyenne's eyes popped open, but her voice was weak. Her blue eyes were dull and the white was no longer visible. Bloodshot eyes stared back at me, and I knew that meant her fever was probably getting too high. Something inside of me pushed the panic down, and I took pain relievers from Carol. Cheyenne took it without question and laid her head back on her pillow.
Everyone made their rounds, saying goodbye without actually saying goodbye. Keeping my mind focused on staying calm was the most difficult thing I felt that I had ever had to do. No one bothered me, which I was grateful for. Sam and Katherine came in, and Sam talked to Cheyenne. Katherine didn't try, just stood by watching Sam talk to her.
Then, Rick walked in the room. His face looked pained and tired. For a few moments he just stood by the door, it seemed as if he was gathering his thoughts. Giving me a sad look, he walked over to the bed and sat down beside Cheyenne. She looked up at him, trying to focus through the haze of her fever.
"Cheyenne, I just wanna tell you how brave we, I, think you are. You're a wonderful little girl... And... I wanna thank you for takin' care of Carl. He loves you very much. I do, too. We all do... I just want you to know that you're very brave." Rick grabbed her hand and kissed the top of it. Cheyenne smiled at him. Rick stood from the bed and walked past me, tears in his eyes. Don't cry, Spencer. Not yet.
Soon the room was still, quiet. Daryl was sitting in a chair near the bed. Carl and I were sitting on the bed, watching Cheyenne sleep. Rick was right outside the door. Cheyenne began acting funny, mumbling things in her sleep. I felt sick to my stomach, I knew the time was coming fast.
"Patricia... I wanna...see Patricia... Carl?" Cheyenne's voice mumbled.
"I'm here." Carl said. Glancing over at him I could see the tears.
"Cheyenne, we're here." I squeezed her hand. Daryl stood up and walked over to us.
"Chy." He said quietly.
"Spencer.. Daryl." Cheyenne smiled. "I... Ready...go." Her words weren't quite sentences, but I knew what she was trying to say.
"We love you, baby." I said, and my voice broke, the tears slipping down my cheeks.
"Love..." Cheyenne let out a small whisper, and then she was still.
"Daryl.. Daryl!" I jumped up, looking at Cheyenne. He leaned around me, checking her pulse.
"She's gone.." Daryl shook his head. I leaned down and tried to find a pulse. He was right, nothing.
"Carl..." I shook my head and pulled out my gun. Rick stood in the doorway, and Carl ran to him.
"Come on, son." Rick said quietly, but Carl refused to budge.
"No, Dad. I promised." Carl said firmly through his tears. The two stayed put, and I looked down at Cheyenne. Her eyes were closed, her face still sweaty. Her small body laid still on the bed.
"Oh, she's so beautiful!" My heart melted at the small baby wrapped in pink.
"She's my angel." My aunt grinned.
"I love her already." I smiled down at the baby girl, kissing her soft cheek.
I aimed the gun at her head, my hand shaking. I just watched her small face... She didn't look dead! She just looked... Asleep...
Cheyenne slid down the slide at the park, a huge grin across her face...
Just asleep.
"You buckled?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, see?" She tugged on her lap belt to show it was secured.
I couldn't pull the trigger, what if she wasn't dead? I just stood, watching her sleep, the tears pouring down my cheeks. The memories of her kept coming.
"Spencerrrr!" Cheyenne dove into my arms. I picked her up and held her close.
"I missed you." I whispered to her.
"Missed you." She whispered back.
This couldn't be happening, everything was so still and quiet. Cheyenne's pale face looked almost peaceful. She's dead...
"I hearded you in the woods. You cussed." Cheyenne said, her blue eyes growing wide for a moment, then she giggled. I laughed.
She's dead. She's dead. Not asleep. She's not asleep. She's dead.
The walker dropped to the ground, and I saw Daryl grab Cheyenne up in his arms.
Not this time, she's gone.
"Sophia!" Cheyenne's whimper was pitiful.
Please, don't let this be real, this isn't real!
"Why was it in here in the first place?" Cheyenne asked.
"Why you ask so many questions?" I teased, and she grinned.
"I already know." Cheyenne said quietly, and I tilted my head.
"Know what?" I asked.
"You been sleepin' in here." Cheyenne said. "I woke up a few times and saw you was gone."
"How'd you know I've been in here?" I asked.
"You like Daryl. And he likes you." Cheyenne explained and I laughed.
"Spencer."
"Daryl!" Cheyenne cooed, giving him a big grin.
"Hey, Cheyenne." Daryl spoke softly.
"Will you sit with me?" Cheyenne asked, and Daryl stepped into the tent, sitting down beside her.
"Spencer!" Daryl's voice.
"Can I go play now?" Cheyenne begged.
"One more set." I said, and was about to show her what problems to do, when Daryl stopped me.
"Awl, come on." he winked at Cheyenne. "Let her go play."
"Yea!" Cheyenne nodded in agreement. I gave Daryl a playful glare.
"Fine. Cheyenne, you can go play."
"Spencer!" Daryl stepped over to me and reached for my gun.
"NO!" I screamed at him, snatching away and pointing the gun back at Cheyenne's dead body.
Looking around for Cheyenne, the noise of Daryl's motorcycle caught my attention. Looking over, I saw Daryl with Cheyenne in front of him, riding toward the house. Bumping Shay, she looked over, grinning at the sight. Cheyenne's hair was blowing as she smiled.
"Spencer, gotta do it now! She's gonna turn!" Daryl's voice was in my ear.
Cheyenne gave me a kiss on the cheek, before reaching out to Daryl. I handed her over to him, and she held onto him tight.
"Hey, Daryl." Chy whispered, laying her head on his shoulder. Her eyes were tired, and she was relaxed now that Daryl had her.
"Hey, Cheyenne." Daryl said quietly. Chy wrapped her little arms around his neck.
"Spencer.." Daryl's voice was in my ear and his hand was on mine. I held my gun in a death grip, staring at Cheyenne. Her body twitched.
"Can ya gimme a push?" Cheyenne asked me, struggling on the swing. Giggling, I stepped forward.
"Ready?" I asked, grabbing her on the swing.
"Ready!" Cheyenne grinned. I let her go, and when she swung back, I gave a push. She got to swinging a decent pace, so I sat down in the other swing beside her and began swinging myself. Our laughter filled the air as we swung higher.
"We're even." I laughed and Cheyenne gave me a grin.
"Look, I'm so high!" Cheyenne giggled as she swung higher than me.
I felt Daryl's finger slip over mine.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut as his finger tightened over mine. He pulled the trigger... We pulled the trigger. The gunshot was loud in my ears, echoing all around the room. The sound of her blood splattering the walls hit my ears. Opening my eyes, I stood still for a moment, before a sob escaped me. Turning into Daryl, I let out some kind of cry, caught somewhere between animalistic and agony.
"NOOO! NOOO!" I pounded my tiny fist against Daryl's chest. "YOU SAID YOU'D KEEP HER SAFE!" Daryl held me tighter, taking my blows, allowing me to let it go. "YOU SAID NOTHIN' WOULD HAPPEN TO HER!" My screams echoed through the house. "DARYL!"
I snatched away from him and turned back to Cheyenne's body. Shaking my head, I ran from the bedroom. Down the hall, ignoring the looks from everyone. The tears. I ran for the closest door. T-Dog attempted to reach out and grab me, but I jerked away, letting out a scream.
"NO!" I growled, flinging the back door open. Not even bothering to look around, I ran to the edge of the woods and fell to my knees. My stomach heaved, and I gagged, but there was nothing to throw up. Trying to breathe, I pulled my knees to my chest and cried.
Okay, that was so freaking hard for me. I teared up writing that chapter. There's not much I can say except that be ready for Spencer to spiral down. Dragging Daryl with her or maybe he's just spiraling down on his own. Ugh, that was so pitiful. Sorry for the long update wait, and a HUGE THANKS to all my readers/reviewers who stick it out with me through the waiting and sad chapters ! You guys rock !
~Kaila