I sat on the long chair by my window. The sun beamed down on my face through the glass, and I watched as a bird soared in the sky. Wishing I could be in its place, I closed my eyes and imagined that I was a bird. Flying high in the sky. Flying away from this awful place.
"SPENCER!" My father's voice bellowed from downstairs. Cringing, I stood up and left from my room. Once to the hallway, I crept down the stairs wearily, afraid of what was to come. When I turned the corner, my father was standing in the kitchen, holding Sam by the arm. He was glaring, his eyes dark and cold.
"What's goin' on?" I asked, and I knew the fear was showing in my eyes.
"What did I tell you two 'bout sneakin' out?" My father growled. The smell of alcohol filled the air.
"We didn't!" I protested.
"You did!" He yelled, shoving Sam away and staggering toward me.
"But, we-" I tried to step back.
"I SAID YOU DID!" He roared, and suddenly I was on the floor, my cheek throbbing.
"JOE!" My mother yelled, setting everything into a slow down.
"I'll get you later." My father whispered harshly, before backing away from me. Shoving past my mother, he disappeared into the kitchen. Sam ran over to me and knelt down beside me.
"I won't let him do nothin' to you."
Darkness. A hand ran over my stomach and I giggled. Looking over, I smiled at Daryl who was kissing my arm. He kissed his way up to my neck. My chin. My lips. Kissing him back, suddenly we were one. He was rocking against me, and I kissed his cheek. My head leaned back against the pillow.
But suddenly, everything had changed. Daryl wasn't there anymore. My father's face was in the place of Daryl's, and he was grinning wickedly as he moved against me roughly. Screaming, I tried to hit him, but my hands wouldn't budge. He hit me in the face.
"SHUTTUP, BITCH!" He hit me again.
I jumped, my eyes opening. A warm body pressed against me and I panicked. Where I was and who was beside me had been forgotten. Pushing away from the body pressed against me, I struggled to get out from underneath the covers as quickly as possible.
"Spencer?" A familiar voice, but fear held me trapped in my own mind.
"NO!" I scooted away, then turned to face the person. Daryl's blue eyes were looking at me questioningly.
"Daryl?" I whispered his name. I inched my way over to him. Reaching out my hand, I touched his face. His hand overlapped mine, his touch warm. Sweet. Loving. But I backed away again, the memories of the past day coming back to me. Cheyenne was really dead. "She's gone, ain't she?"
"Yea..." Daryl said quietly. My chest tightened and suddenly I felt shaky. My heart began to pound in my ears. Tears welled up in my eyes as my breath quickened. There was no controlling it. It was happening and I couldn't stop it. Daryl was at my side, his voice lost somewhere in my ears. I closed my eyes tight.
But then something changed. I felt something flowing through me, against my hand. Bum-bum, bum-bum, bum-bum, bum-bum. The feeling soothed every part of me. Lost in that feeling, that sound in my ears, I felt my breathing slowing down. Everything began to clear from my mind, only the beating of his heart was present. I opened my eyes.
Looking into his blue eyes, I saw Daryl. Really saw him for the first time in two days. His crystal clear blue eyes were dark. Circles lay underneath his eyes. He looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks. The Daryl Dixon I knew never looked like this. Cheyenne's death had made the two of us weak. Daryl was never weak.
I did the only thing that I knew to do. Jumping into his lap, I wrapped my arms around his neck and held onto him tight. He seemed surprised at my actions, but I felt his arms wrap around my waist and tighten around my body. He pulled me a little closer and just held me. It was all I really wanted. Maybe it was all I really needed.
I wasn't sure how long we sat like that, but a noise at the door to my left caught my attention. Glancing over, I saw Maggie. She looked down at the ground seemingly embarrassed at intruding on a, what looked to be, private moment. Pulling away from Daryl, I felt his arms let me go. Little did I know, that would be the last time they held me for a long while.
Hershel forced me to stay in bed. Walkers had been scarce in the area, despite my fears of the noise we had brought along with Cheyenne's death. I wasn't allowed to get up unless we had to flee, and that bothered me. Laying in the bed all day gave me too much time to think. To think about Cheyenne. To think about my nightmares. To think about Daryl.
I had a cold. The rain and cold weather that I lost myself to in my moment of weakness had attacked my body. Stuffy nose and a fever. To the average world that seemed like nothing. Just a little head cold, a normal person would be well in no time. But this world wasn't average or normal anymore.
No heat. No good medicines. No easy grab food. Immediate threats were everywhere. No, my sickness was a threat to not only myself, but everyone in the group. They were fighting to get me well as quickly as possible. Going on supply runs, gathering medicines and canned soups. Carol was feeding me aspirins every time I opened my eyes, or so it seemed.
But the one person I hadn't seen was Daryl. That morning when Maggie had come to check on me, Daryl had left without a word and I hadn't seen him since. I knew he was probably going on supply runs, but I didn't understand why he hadn't come around at all. Trying to brush it off, I looked out of the window by my bed.
The sky was cloudy and dull, the trees lifeless sticks swaying in the winter wind. My mind wandered off into space as I stared out the window. My thoughts went to everywhere, but nowhere in particular. Everything burdened down on me all at once, suffocating me. Yet, I felt weightless.
Cheyenne's dead. What's gonna happen to me? Die, death will be easier. Livin's too hard. What will Daryl do? He'll be fine without me. Where's he at, anyway? Safe? Bein' safe? I hope so... Oh, God. Cheyenne is dead. Why'd this happen to me? I wanna live. You wanna die. I wanna live! YOU WANNA DIE!
I awoke with a start. Coughing, I sat up and looked around. I had fallen asleep. It was dark in my room, only a tiny bit of dark blue lit up the sky. My chest felt fuzzy, and I coughed again, trying to break up the congestion. That was new. So I was getting worse. Something moved and I looked over to see my door opening.
"Good, you're awake." Carol's voice broke the silence. "Gotta give you these pills. Hershel's orders. Daryl and Rick found a decent stash of meds."
"Where's Daryl?" I croaked, watching the pills drop into my hand. They were huge.
"He's... Out." Carol said quietly, handing me a cup of water.
"Out?" I asked, popping the pills in my mouth and quickly raising the cup to my lips. I fought to wash the pills down, then handed the cup back to Carol.
"Try and drink the rest of that... Yeah, he said he was goin' out for the night." Carol's voice was quiet and low.
"Goin' out? Goin' out? For what?" I asked, looking out of the window into the darkening woods. I forced myself to drink down the rest of the cold water.
"Not sure. To hunt, I suppose. He'll be fine... Spencer..try and get some more sleep?" Carol looked at me with sad eyes, as she took the empty cup from my hands. I wasn't sure why she was looking at me like that, but deep down I felt something was off. Something was wrong.
I said nothing as Carol walked away from my bedside and left my room, shutting the door behind her. Laying back against my pillow, I wondered what Daryl could possibly be doing out in the woods this late at night. Hunting, of course, but why? Maybe it was just his way of blowing off steam.
Where you at, Dixon? Come back, please... Bring Chy with you... Why's my head feel so funny? So cold... I pulled the covers up to my chin. Maybe this whole thing's just a bad nightmare. Imma wake up to Cheyenne and Shay in our apartment. Pizza in the fridge. Shay and Kevin'll get us breakfast.
Shay burst through the front door with Kevin, his arm bleeding all over the place... Riding in the truck, Cheyenne crying in the backseat. Shay trembling in the passenger seat, blood speckled across her ashen skin... People on the road! The road is blocked... Andrea and Amy. Dale. Daryl and Merle... Night fall, everyone standing around, then bombs being dropped on the city. Run, RUN!
Following the group to the quarry. Merle laughing in the rear view mirror... Daryl charging up to me, his blue eyes cold and hard... Cheyenne eating spaghetti o's.. Losing Merle in the city. Going after him, only to find he wasn't there. Glenn captured and going to rescue him. Walking through strange territory, Daryl's hand on my back for guidance. That first feel of something sparking between us.
Back to the quarry, Daryl saving Cheyenne. Panic, Amy is gone. Left Jim at the tree, driving away. The passenger seat never looked so good, until I found myself sitting beside him... Arriving at the CDC, warm showers. Songs, T-Dog making me sing. Cheyenne blasting me out, telling them I had to sing...
Jenner's gone mad, the CDC is going to blow, time to go. No way out, Rick. Oh, but Carol's got your grenade. Duck and cover, duck and cover. BOOM! Deaf for a few moments... Andrea and Dale... Jacqui? Daryl pushing me out of the broken window. Running from the CDC. Daryl covering Cheyenne, then, BOOOOM!
Big blast, rumbling of a thousand thunders, and a heat wave unlike any other. Ringing in my ears. Lift my head up to see Andrea and Dale jogging toward the RV. "Andwea!" Cheyenne's so excited that she's alive. So am I... Splitting up, on to the RV. Away from Dixon. Drive on, drive on, Dale.
I sat up, confused. My head was in a daze. The world was spinning, forcing me to lay back down. I squeezed my eyes shut. Under the cars! Where's Sophia? Rick comes back empty handed. Search party at first light. Carol's eyes so dark and unforgiving, so hurt. Sad. But it's not Rick's fault! Stop blaming him! The church... On a timer. The bells were on a timer.
The deer, oh, how beautiful! Carl only wanted to reach out to it... BAM! Carl's blood covered my hands and the over weight man panicked, shouting out directions. Hershel. Carrying Carl to Hershel's farm... Carl screaming, holding his hand... MUST GET LORI. On the horse with Maggie. Saved Andrea, jumped off, Lori's gone.
Back to the road, Dale with his twenty questions... Cheyenne, Carl's been shot. Oh, that face full of agony. Shay helping me... Daryl cleaning me up, his hands so soft. So forgiving in an unforgiving world... Shay taking Chy to safety... Smoking cigarettes with Daryl on top of the RV... Leaving the road. On to the farm.
Search, search, search... Nothing. Daryl at the edge of the woods, looking like a walker. Oh, but he's not! He's alive! He's shot... Screaming, looking, he's alive. ANDREA! Can't get her... Stitching Daryl's head... Sleep in his tent, best sleep I ever got... Walkers in the barn... Shane lost all control. The barn doors open.
Must shoot, Cheyenne's behind me. Walkers dropping, Hershel's crying, Maggie's crying, Beth, Patricia.. Then it's over. But it's not over. Sophia comes staggering out. Oh, God. We'd been looking for so long, and there she is. A fucking walker. Rick shoots her, drowning out Carol's cries.
Dig, dig, dig. Sophia's little body in the hole. Shovel dirt, shovel dirt, shovel dirt. Gone. Her face disappeared into the soil. Gone... Randall... Sam and Katherine... The fight with Dale to keep Randall alive. Andrea and myself defend Dale... Dale's screams, Andrea and I run to him. Daryl knocks the walker away, but it's too late. It's always too late. He's dying, he's in pain, he can't be saved. Shoot him! Daryl's eyes beg mine to look away. Cheyenne and Carl sob. The gunshot echoes through my brain. I'm dry heaving.
Katherine in my face, Sam in my face. Daryl and Rick to the rescue... Randall escapes... The farm is overrun. On the motorcycle with Daryl, shooting walkers. Gotta find Chy and Carl.. Run to them! Go! Daryl's yelling for me to stop... Grab the kids... Where's Daryl? Back on the road, no Daryl... Hershel says we should go. But we don't have to. The roar of engines bring the group back.
But Shay is gone. Andrea is gone. Patricia, Jimmy... Shane, no loss there. Off to nowhere. Off to the tragic nothing that our lives became. Off to survive, only to watch Cheyenne die. Yes, Cheyenne's DEAD!
Jumping from my sleep, I looked around the room in a daze. Where am I? I closed my eyes tight, and opened them again. Throwing the covers off of my body, my bare feet touched the cold floor, sending shivers up my spine. The world was spinning slowly, and I thought I might fall. Stumbling to the door, I opened it quietly and stepped into the hallway. Voices, I could hear voices. Squinting my eyes to the light, I stepped into the living room area.
"Spencer? What are you doing out of bed?" Carol rushed over to me.
"Get her back in bed!" Hershel ordered. "The medication might be making her hallucinate." My eyes caught sight of Daryl.
"Daryl? Daryl!" I fought Carol's grip. "Lemme go!"
"Daryl?" Hershel's voice was strained. Through the daze, I saw Daryl get up and walk over to me. I heard Hershel's hushed voice. "Talk to her, do somethin', anything to get her to sleep! If she doesn't rest, she may very well die."
"Come on, Spencer.." Daryl's hand was on my back, guiding me back down the hallway.
"I don't wanna go back in there." I whispered quietly. "Take me away."
"No, you gotta sleep." Daryl's voice wasn't soft like I remembered before. He sounded like the Daryl I met back at the quarry. Back at the quarry.
"Daryl, don't leave me." I begged, as he led me back to the bed. He was quiet as he gently, but firmly, forced me to lay down. "Daryl please?"
"Spencer, just lay down, dammit!" He growled, pulling the covers up over my body.
"Please, please. Don't leave me." I begged, grabbing his arm. He wrenched free and leaned down close to me.
"Go to sleep, girl. Leave this bed again, I'll tie ya to it. Understand?" His voice was cold and hard... It reminded me of... Merle.
"Daryl?" I whispered, staring at him though the fuzziness in my head.
"Understand?" He asked harshly.
"Yea." I croaked.
"Sleep." He ordered.
"I can't without you..." I whispered holding onto the image of him beside me. I tried to fight the darkness sweeping over me. So sleepy...so tired... "Sleep" Daryl's voice played in my head.
"Better off without me." Was the last thing I heard him say, before my body gave into sleep.
Well, you guessed it. Daryl's shrinking inside of himself and mourning over Cheyenne's death. It has to get worse before it can get better, right ? I am so enjoying doing this story. It's so weird to go back and re-read the story from chapter 1 to present. I have come so far with this story, and I think it has been more successful than Tame My Heart... I really like where this story has gone, and I am excited on where it will go ! I am also excited to do another story sometime in the future. I also am into Dragon Ball Z, and will be doing a Vegeta/Bulma story one day soon. But no worries, this story is far from over and I will be doing another Walking Dead Daryl fan fic when I finish this one or even before then. I come up with ideas everyday in my head for new stories. I guess being a writer does that ! hehe
Anyway I would like to get on with this by saying DOUBLE TRIPLE THANK YOU to all my READERS and REVIEWERS ! You guys rock ! Without having supporters, my story would be pointless, meaningless. It is wonderfully awesome to have people who like to read my story ! SO THANK YOU !
I am turning my PM on, and with my next chapter, I will answer any questions whether about this story or my future one. So feel free to send me your questions and I will answer them in my next Author Note !
~Kaila