I awoke to sunlight flooding through the window. The light hurt my eyes and I felt uneasy. Rolling away from the window, I noticed a figure sitting in the chair across the room. Closing my eyes and then opening them, I squinted to see Katherine sitting there, just watching me from where she sat. Her face was emotionless, her hazel eyes cold.
"Why are you in here?" I croaked, struggling to sit up.
"Came to check on you." She replied, sitting forward, her elbows on her knees. Tilting her head slightly, she stared at me. "You know, it must be awful."
"What?" I asked, glaring at her. I pulled the covers up closer, trying to bury myself away from her.
"The fact that he's hurt. You blamed him for your mistakes. Now he is tryin' to avoid bein' hurt again. He lost Cheyenne, now he's losin' you. Sits in here every night like a damn lost puppy. But he don't need you. You don't need him, either. We need to leave here. You ain't gettin' any better." Katherine said, her voice on the verge of malice.
"No. You're not my family. They are. Leave me alone." I growled, rolling over toward the window.
"How dare you? I am your mother!" I heard her jump up from her chair. Whipping back around, I saw her coming closer to my bed.
"GET AWAY!" I screamed. "GET OUT!" Footsteps made my head dizzy as my door burst open.
"Ya heard her! Get out!" Daryl's voice. I sat straight up, slinging my legs over the bed.
"Daryl!" I cried out, trying to stand up.
"Look what you did now!" Katherine snapped.
"Spencer, sit down, just sit.." Daryl was at my side, his arm around my waist. He looked at Katherine. "Get out." He said coldly.
"Listen to him." Sam's voice. Then they were gone and it was just me... And Daryl. He was really here.
"Daryl." I whispered, throwing my arms around his neck. "Please don't leave me." He sat down on the bed, forcing me to sit with him. I held onto him with a death grip, refusing to let go. For a moment, I didn't realize that his arms were around me. When I did, relief rushed through me. "I'm sorry. So sorry. It was my fault!"
"What?" Daryl pulled away from me, looking into my eyes.
"It wasn't your fault." I cried. "I had her, Daryl. I had her and I let her go. I tried to grab her, but she just ran off. It was...it was all my fault."
"You gotta stop. Look at me, girl." Daryl lifted my chin with his finger. "Gotta stop makin' yourself self sick. Ain't gettin' no better, and we cain't stay here forever."
"It just hurts." I said quietly, watching his eyes.
"I know." Daryl nodded, looking down. "But I'm here."
"You ain't been. Been gone away." I said, grabbing his hand. His fingers slid over mine gently.
"No, I been here." Daryl grunted. "Every night."
"No wonder I slept without the nightmares." I looked at him with tired eyes. "I'm tired, Daryl... I'm tired."
"Gotta keep goin'." Daryl shook his head. "Gonna get better."
"But I'm tired!" I cried. "I'm tired! Just wanna sleep, and sleep, and sleep. Just go... It could be so much easier than this. It could all just end... Go to sleep, never have to wake up.."
"This ain't you, Spence." Daryl grabbed my shoulders. "You ain't that girl. You don't give up. You fight. Ever since I met you, ya been a fighter. Givin' up ain't an option, got it?"
"Can't keep doin' this." I shook my head.
"Ain't got no choice. I ain't lettin' you give up. I'll do what I gotta do. Fight for you, if you cain't fight for yourself." Daryl said quietly, but I could hear the emotion in his voice.
"Feels like I'm disappearin'... Daryl, don't let me disappear."
"C'mere." Daryl said, pulling me closer to him. He laid me down, settling in beside me. I faced him, pressing my body into his. Reaching up, I touched his face with my hand. He placed his own hand over mine against his face. Leaning into my hand, he closed his eyes. "Feels so good."
"What?" I asked quietly.
"Just bein' beside you. Touchin' you." Daryl mumbled. I leaned into him even more, touching his forehead with mine.
"Must be dyin'." I whispered, huffing out a chuckle.
"Huh?" Daryl looked at me, his hand brushing over my cheek.
"You're bein' so nice to me all of a sudden. Figured I must be..." I trailed off shaking my head. "Feels like it."
"Baby, look." Daryl said the words, and they seemed so foreign, yet so natural. The look in his eyes showed that it had just slipped out, but it comforted me and he seemed to notice. "You ain't gonna die. You're sick.. Real sick. But we got ya medicine, good stuff, too. Know yow feel like shit, but you're gettin' better."
"Imma get better." I agreed with a whisper, trying to smile.
"I'm sorry. Sorry for leavin' you when you needed me. Sorry for everything I cain't make better for you." Daryl pulled me closer. Feeling tears in my eyes, I welcomed his arms tightening around me.
"How do we keep goin'?" I asked. "We lost everything."
"Dunno. But we will. Always have.. Lost before." Daryl replied, his hand tangled in my hair. His fingers scratched gently at the back of my neck, sending me into a daze.
"All we do." I mumbled.
"Feel good?" Daryl asked, his fingers still tangled in my hair, rubbing against my skin.
"Yea." I whispered. Resting my hand on the side of his face, I wrinkled my nose slightly at the stubble prickling against my skin. Brushing over his lip with my thumb, I sighed. This is what I'd been missin'. I missed him. I relaxed, feeling his heart thumping through his shirt. "Tell me bout you and Merle."
"What 'bout?" Daryl asked quietly.
"Anything." I encouraged, wanting to hear about him. I just wanted to think about something else. Anything else. He was silent for a moment, before chuckling.
"Once, Merle was off in juvy, I got lost. Livin' out in the damn woods for days... Wiped my ass with the wrong damn leaf." Daryl was smirking as he told the story.
"Who found you?" I asked.
"Hell, nobody. After sufferin' from my itchy ass, I found my own way back home." Daryl mumbled. "Straight to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich." I laughed.
"Got lost once. Sam found me." I said. "He always saved me, way back when."
"Seems like a good brother." Daryl nodded.
"Was Merle?" I asked, looking into his blue green eyes.
"At times... He had faults. But he made me who I am." Daryl said quietly.
"I'm sorry we lost him. I wonder about it a lot." I admitted.
"Why?" Daryl asked, looking at me with curiosity.
"'Cause I feel like he's part of you, and you're missin' that part 'cause he's gone." I mumbled.
"We've all lost." Daryl said again.
"He may be just that... Lost." I raised an eyebrow. "Ever wonder if there's other groups out there? Like us?"
"Imagine it's possible." Daryl shrugged against the bed.
"I don't know how to cope with losin' Chy... But I know you'll get me there." I whispered, rubbing my hand across his cheek. "After all, you've gotten me this far..."
"Gotten me this far." Daryl muttered against my cheek. I felt the sting of tears threatening my eyes, but blinked them back. Looking up at him, I kissed his chin lightly. The stubble prickled against my lips, and I didn't realize how much I had missed the feel of him. Until then.
"Now, I know you haven't been feelin' good, Spencer." Hershel was standing beside where I was sitting at the kitchen table. "But your color is comin' back into your face. You may think it crazy, but you need to go outside into the sun a bit. It's midday, not as cold as usual. Daryl." Hershel looked to Daryl, who was propped up against the door frame.
"All right. Let's get some sun, then." Daryl smirked, walking over to me. I stood up, and he grabbed my arm gently. Looking up at him, I stopped moving, raising an eyebrow.
"I think I got it." I mumbled playfully. Giving me a teasing grin, he let me go. Bundled up in warm clothes and a blanket, I followed Daryl outside onto the roof. Rick greeted me with a warm Officer Friendly smile.
"Spencer, you look better." Rick offered. I laughed.
"Thanks, feelin' better." I looked over to see Carl sitting at the edge of the roof. He turned back toward me, his face tired. I walked over to where he sat. "Hey, bud."
"Hey." Carl said, his voice blank.
"How you been?" I asked, nudging him.
"Okay." He nudged me back. "Miss her."
"I know. Me too." I nodded in agreement. "Very much." I draped an arm over Carl's shoulders and pulled him close. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Should've been payin' better attention." Carl said quietly.
"Nothin' you could've done." I said back. "Just gotta learn to remember who she was. Not what she could've been."
"Guess so." Carl's voice cracked. Kissing the top of his head, I rested my chin on the middle of his head.
"We'll get through it." I tried to sound convincing, but I knew I sounded doubtful myself. Standing up, I walked away from the edge of the roof, back toward Rick. I saw Glenn and Maggie, and I couldn't hold in my smile.
"It's so good to see you back to normal." Glenn muttered, pulling me into a hug. Caught off guard, I hugged him back, holding onto him tightly. Once he finally pulled away, Maggie was grabbing me. I held onto her, realizing how much I did need these people.
"How long do we need before we can move on?" Rick asked, looking at Hershel. Maggie gave me a wink.
"I'd say she's good to go for a ride. Bet she's been missin' Daryl and the motorcycle." Maggie teased. Everyone laughed, even Daryl, who's face seemed a shade redder.
"Soon. A few days give or take." Hershel advised. I looked up at Rick.
"Know where we'll be headin' next?" I asked.
"Wherever we can find stability. Supplies. Runnin' short on everything." Rick was honest. He looked at me and gave me a sincere look. " I am glad to see you up and lookin' much better. I... I was worried, there, for a bit."
"So was I." I admitted. Rick put a hand on my shoulder, before walking over to Carl. I looked back at Daryl, squinting from the bright sun light. "Dixon?"
"Yea?" He looked at me. I stepped close to him and stood on my tip toes. My lips brushed against his ear.
"You're a good man." I whispered. He grabbed my sides carefully and pulled me closer to him.
"Only for you." He growled playfully against the side of my face. I sighed, just leaning against him.
Sorry for the long update wait and such a short chapter ! I so enjoyed the Walking Dead marathon they did this past weekend ! Even though I was working through most of it (sucked) but I got to watch some... Wahhhh I'm sooooo ready for October ! Anyways, Spencer is doing better ! Yay ! I love her and Daryl, they're so adorable ! Reviews/Readers/Favoriters/Followers are SO FREAKIN AWESOME !
~Kaila