"You've got to be kidding me right now."
"Who rings the doorbell? Doesn't everyone we know have a key?"
"It's not even seven in the morning."
"Get up and get it."
"No, you get up and get it."
"I'll bite you."
"I'll get up and get it."
"Thanks babe."
Lindsay rolled back over and pulled a pillow over her head while Adam stood up and rubbed his eyes, heading down the stairs.
"That be my Sarah," Avery announced, coming out of her room just as he passed.
"You think so?"
"Uh-huh! They comin' over today! Remember daddy? No school."
"Oh, mama's going to be thrilled. We both forgot. C'mon Tink, we'd better go answer the door."
He swung her up into his arms and headed downstairs to find all five Messers in various states of early morning awareness. Junior looked ready to go, just like his parents, but Sarah was yawning so hard her eyes were watering, and the glare on Isa's face could have probably killed someone.
"Mornin'!" Avery greeted. "Come inside! We have breakfast."
"We already ate, sissy Aves. Bright and early. We had cereal."
"Oh. Daddy, put me down, I wanna play with Sarah."
Adam yawned and set her on the floor where she grabbed Sarah's hand and pulled her into the other room, jabbering on about something or another. Isa followed them and climbed onto the couch turning her back to the room and going to sleep.
"You guys forgot," Austin deduced, arching an eyebrow.
"It was one of those things you think you're going to remember and then you forget because you didn't write it down because you thought you would remember."
"Well, everything going to be alright then?"
"Yeah, but I'm not waking the beast until the last possible moment. She already threatened bodily harm."
"Well good luck with that one buddy. See ya later."
They closed the door behind them just as Ben started down the stairs, his hair sticking up on one side, though not as bad as Avery's.
"Yahoo! I thought I heard Dunner! C'mon buddy, let's go play! I digged out my light up dinosaurs last night! Cole's sleepin' still so we can play down here. Help me get them!"
The boys charged up the stairs while Avery and Sarah scooted into the kitchen.
"I will make you some Eggos, Averylin. And then after that I won't be so tired. Then you can play me what your mama taught you on the piano."
"Okay! Someday Sarah, I will make music an' you will dance!"
"That would be fun! Now, would you like regular or blueberry and what about Benjamin?"
"Blueberry for me an' Ben! Oh thank you Sarah!"
"You're welcome. I like to make breakfast. Want me to show you how to use the toaster?"
"Okay!"
"Sarah, I'm going to go get changed and wake up Lindsay. You got it under control in here?"
"I got it, Uncle Adam."
"Thanks sweetie."
He went upstairs and peeked in on Ben and Junior who were trying unsuccessfully to be quiet while they hauled the dinosaurs out from under the bed. Colton had pulled his pillow over his head in annoyance and probably wouldn't be going back to sleep this morning but would more than likely lie in bed for at least another half hour.
"Babe, kids are here," Adam announced, flopping down on the bed next to Lindsay who still was laboring under the delusion that she would get some more sleep.
"Mmm."
"I need to jump in the shower because I do have to head to work in a while so that means you need to crawl out of bed at some point too."
"Can some point be at like a quarter to ten?"
"No dice, my dear."
"Five minutes."
"I'll make you coffee if you get up now."
"Ug, okay."
She didn't move.
"Lindsay the mattress is telling you to vamoose."
"No, it's speaking Latin. Vamoose means to stay and keep it company."
"Honey…"
"The kids can take care of themselves. They're like twelve now right?"
"Colton and Isa are both asleep, Sarah's making breakfast for Avery and Ben, and you had better get up before lunch because there's only two packets of ramen left and that's all she knows how to make."
"What's in this for me?"
"Not having to rush one or more children to the emergency room."
"Okay, okay. Why did we stay up until 2 in the morning?"
"Because you wouldn't shut up."
"No you wouldn't."
"You say things and then I have to respond to them! Do you expect me to just snort and roll over?"
"No. We just need to stop liking each other so much maybe."
"Maybe," he agreed, reaching down and pulling the blanket off of her. She yelped and rolled off the bed, grabbing her robe off the chair and resigning herself to having to be up and in tune with the world.
"I reserve the right to be grumpy for a few hours," she said, leaning down to fix the hem of her pajamas. "So warn the kids."
"Very funny. I'm going to go grab a shower."
She wrinkled her nose but went downstairs anyway. Ben and Junior were playing under the dining room table while Avery and Sarah sat on the loveseat watching cartoons and Isa lay on the couch blinking slowly and yawning.
"Mornin' pigeon. How's it shakin'?"
"My ma woke me up before the sun. She was singing Sugar Ray and she turned on my lights and threw my blankets off. Just how do you think it's shakin' Indy?"
"So the compromise was that you would get dressed but you didn't have to brush your hair."
"Yeah. How'd you know?"
"I ain't stupid. Plus it looks like a family of rats took up residence in it. Even your ma wouldn't let you walk out of the house like that without a reason."
"Great detective work," Isa said, rolling her eyes. Lindsay laughed and kissed Isa's cheek then sat down on the other end of the couch, pulling a blanket over her legs.
"Mama! I want a puppy. Like Clifford!" Avery shouted happily. "I love him so most that he grow big and big and big!"
"Honey, daddy and I said no about a puppy right now."
"I know. I's just sayin' it."
Lindsay nodded and rubbed her eyes. They were planning on getting another dog around Christmas time, but didn't want to give away the surprise so they'd been having to act like it wasn't going to happen. Avery especially had been reminding them about how much she wanted a dog but was also the least likely to argue when they said no.
"What are we going to do today?" Sarah asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You got something fun up your sleeve?"
"Maybe I'll come up with something. You got anything up your sleeve?"
"Well remember the time me and Averylin played dress up in Uncle Adam's clothes? That would be fun again!"
"Yeah, you could do that. If it doesn't rain, maybe we'll go to the park after lunch."
"Cool! I need some pinecones or somethin' for an art thing I'm making for Papaw. I could get stuff there."
"I help you, Sarah. Okay?" Avery chirped.
"Thanks."
"We're a team mama. Me an' Sarah."
"I'm glad sweetie."
"I'm bored, Binyin," Junior sighed, staring out the window and watching the rain. "I want to go outside and play something but I think we would float away."
"Yeah and mama already said she doesn't want to clean up mud and she's tired of makin' us treasure maps all day long."
"I wish something exciting would happen around here. Like if that Publisher's Clearing House guy came to the door and gave Aunt Lin a huge check. Then we could go out for burgers."
"Are you still hungry?"
"Nah, I just like to be eating. Got any ideas for somethin' to do?"
"Know what? The other day my daddy found and old thing what makes videos. Maybe we could play with it."
"What kind of video would we make?"
"Hmm. Maybe we could make a video about what's going on here."
"Like the news?"
"Yeah! That's a great idea, Dunner! We could do the news of the house. We'll wear fancies and you can do some sports talk."
"Yeah, let's do it! You have fancies I could wear? I'm kind of more tallish than you."
"I think so. And I will let you wear my favoritest tie! I will go get that thing from mama, hold on a sec."
Ben raced out of the room and down the stairs where Lindsay was cleaning the kitchen.
"Hey mama! Can I play with that thing what makes movies?"
"The camcorder?"
"Yeah that thing! Me and Dunner are going to be on the news. Can you get it for me?"
"Do you know where daddy put it?"
"In the coat closet on the top shelf. He said there's tapes in there too what were never used. Can we have one?"
"Sure buddy."
He followed her to the closet and she opened it, finding the old camcorder and some unopened tapes.
"This is heavy, so you're going to have to be careful. Do you remember how daddy taught you how to use it?"
"Yep I do! And we will be careful. Thanks mama!"
He hauled everything upstairs to the bedroom where he found Junior already half dressed in a suit jacket and contemplating which slacks to pair with it.
"Those gray ones are the ones what are the longest on me so you should wear those."
"Okay."
He put the pants on then began moving the desks around the room until they were just how he wanted them.
"Should we keep our real names or make up new ones? If we make up new ones I would like to be Simon Smith, Sportscaster and Weatherman."
"Okay! What kind of name should I have? I like the name Howard. Howard Polident I think."
"Isn't Polident that thing for dentures, Binyin?"
"I don't know. I just like the name. What should our stories be about?"
Junior thought for a bit while Ben set up the camera, balancing it on the bookcase and making sure they would be in the shot.
"Maybe the first one should be about sissy Aves and how she keeps getting sent to her room. We could do a deep investigation and ask her about it. And we could interview Sarah and ask her how she feels about her best friend being in trouble."
"Okay! And then after that you could do something about the sports. Like a story on what sport is your most favorite."
"That sounds like a good plan. Maybe after that you can do a report on Colton and Isa's school project they're working on downstairs and then I will do the weather and we'll be done."
"That sounds good. We'd better write this all down. And we're going to need a name for our news station too."
Junior nodded and opened the desk, finding a piece of paper and a pencil, writing down their plans so far while Ben changed into something nicer and found bowties for both of them.
"Should we make a background? Like how they have on the real news?" Junior asked, tapping the pencil against his chin. "I bet Sarah would help us."
"Yeah we could do that. Or what if we hanged a sheet there instead?"
"Okay."
"I will go get a sheet from the closet and some tacks from by the computer."
He ran out of the room and was back in ten minutes with supplies. By this time Avery had been released from her bedroom, only to run into the dining room and ruin half of Isa and Colton's project, which sent her right back to her room with a scowl on her face.
"Man, there's just news happening right under our noses! We'd better hurry up so we don't miss anything!"
"Binyin- I mean Howard, how do you do this tie?"
"It's a clip-on, Simon. I will show you. See you just put the clip part here and pinch it together. There ya go, now you're fancy like me!"
"I wish I had fancy shoes too."
"Well no one will see your feet, they'll be under the desk. Want to practice this before we do it? Or do you think it will be more real to life if we just go off the cuff?"
"Let's go off the cuff. As to not miss things that are happening. Plus, all the best comedy happens when you least expect it, that's what my ma says."
"Sounds like a plan. Hey maybe we could show this news broadcast when everyone gets home tonight."
Junior nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah, and then they will see what they missed today."
"We can fill them in. Also Mac and Jo-Jo will be here so they can see it too! This is gonna be so much fun Dunner!"
"Welcome to the Best Buddy News Network!"
"My name is Simon Smith with Sports and Weather together."
"And I am Howard Polident, with news you can use for your everyday life."
"We have some great stories for you today folks, so hold onto your hats!"
"Our first story today comes from right across the hallway. Today was a record breaking day in the house. Today, Avery Ross was sended to her room five times for bad behavior! We go to Simon Smith, who has the story."
The camera cut out, then came back on again to show Junior standing outside Avery's door, holding a microphone the boys had made out of an old toilet paper tube.
"I'm here outside Avery's room," he said, indicating the door. "She's been in here for quite a while and by the sounds of things, her crying has not stopped. Let's see if we can get an exclusive interview. Hello Avery, this is Simon Smith with the Best Buddy News Network! Would you like to make a statement about your recent incarceration?"
"Go away!" she sobbed from her bedroom. "I'm fabulous!"
"It seems that the witness is not cooperating at this time. That's okay! Howard Polident has an interview with Avery's best friend Sarah Messer. We'll go to him with the rest of the story."
The camera cut again and restarted, finding Sarah sitting on the couch practicing her knitting.
"Good morning Miss Messer. My name is Howard Polident and I would like to interview you about the days events."
Sarah giggled and nodded and Ben sat on the couch next to her, looking serious.
"Now Sarah, as we've already told our viewers, Avery has been sended to her room five times today. This is a Ross family record. How do you feel about this?"
"Well I feel like Averylin is having a very wild day and sometimes she might need time alone to deal with things."
"Do you feel that the punishment fits the crime?"
"Oh yes. I don't like to see Averylin crying and I don't want her to be in trouble, especially because we had a very fun game planned. But she also needs to learn her lessons."
"Do you have any advice for Avery?"
"Yes, I would tell her to do apologizing for the things she has done wrong today. Then she will remember all that much better."
"Thank you for your input Sarah, and we hope that you will watch our news broadcast this evening."
"Okay," Sarah giggled, shaking Ben's hand.
"And now it's time for the Sports and Weather, and not in that order."
The scene changed to find Junior in front of the window in the boys room, shouting to be heard over the rain.
"As you can see," he hollered, pointing to the open window. "It's raining like mad outside today! We have a high temperature of pretty cold, and a low temperature of a lot cold! For tomorrow-"
A gust of wind came up and started blowing rain in through the window.
"Oh no! Binyin help!"
The camera jerked to the side as Ben rushed to help put the window down and pick up the papers that had blown off the desk.
"As you can see," Junior started, adjusting his bowtie. "It is also mighty windy today."
Ben fixed the camera and Junior sat down at the desk, picking up his papers and glancing over them.
"And now that I have my composure again, it is time to talk about sports. A recent study has just shown that baseball is the best sport in the world, and the Yankees are the best team. You can ask anyone in New York and they will tell you, I am sure. As for me, I hope to play more baseball for the rest of my life. Look for me out in the field, I will be the cute one scoring all the runs!"
Ben joined him at the desk and they both waved to the camera.
"That's all the time we have for tonight folks, on account of Simon's ma just got here! Tune in another time for more news from the Best Buddy News Network. Drive safe!"
The video ended and Ben and Junior jumped up from where they'd been sitting on the couches and both took bows.
"Did y'all like our news?" Ben asked hopefully. Everyone was trying so hard not to laugh that all they could do was nod.
"I especially liked the weather report, Daniel!" Sarah said with a nod. "I wish all the weather was that exciting."
"Hey how come you guys didn't interview me and Colt about our school project?"
"We didn't want to bother you. And we ran out of time. But what about next time?"
"Okay!"
Avery was curled up in Jo's lap, hiding her face and refusing to look at anyone. Ben walked over and patted her shoulder, earning no sign of recognition.
"Sissy, are you upset with the way we portrayed your story?"
"I am not a bad girl!"
"I know! We were just astounded by the times you was sended to your room. I holded the record for that one. Four times in one day for lying, back when I was just a kid!"
"That not nice, Ben."
"Do you think we should not have done the story?"
"No! All-body thinks I so bad!"
"We don't think you're bad, Avery," Mac assured, reaching over to take her hand. "It's just like Sarah said, you had a wild day."
"Yeah?"
"Of course."
"Yeah Avery," Isa agreed with a nod. "If that made you a bad girl, then I would be a bad girl too. My whole life is a wild day."
"Okay. Then I like the news."
"This doesn't mean you don't have to try and improve your behavior tomorrow," Adam reminded her. "I don't want to come home and find both you and mama upset about the day, okay?"
"Okay daddy. Now everyone, we have ice-cream!"
She hopped off of Jo's lap and began to take orders while Lindsay and Danny went into the kitchen to start scooping.
"Did you like our news daddy?" Ben asked, smiling as he was lifted onto Adam's lap.
"Sure I did."
"Think we should do it again?"
"That would be great buddy. You boys did a good job. If it's something you want to keep doing, maybe I can find you a tripod to put the camera on so you can both be in the shot at the same time."
"Okay! Thanks daddy! C'mon Dunner, let's go plan our next news!"
"Hey babe?"
"Mmm."
"Babe, wake up."
"Mmm-mm."
"C'mon Linds."
Groaning, she opened her eyes to find him smiling down at her in the darkness.
"What?"
"Happy anniversary."
"You woke me up for that?"
"I thought I was being romantic."
She laughed and rolled over, smiling when his arms went around her and his lips found hers carefully.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"You're really pretty."
"Babe, you woke me up in the middle of the night. The answer is no."
"I've been laying here watching you since you fell asleep two hours ago. Doesn't that count for something?"
"Yes, that you're creepy."
"Eleven years is a long time."
"Are you trying to say you're finally bored with me?"
"Never. I'm just saying, it's a big accomplishment. Most people don't make it this long."
"Is it really that much of a struggle?"
"I think if we didn't love each other, yeah. But us? Nah, I think we got it really easy."
"At least when we do have struggles it's worth it."
"I'm sure glad you agreed to this crazy train. If you hadn't, where would I be right now?"
"Right here with me. I couldn't have said no for too long. Especially looking back, I know I wouldn't change a single day."
"Good, then your brothers aren't going to kill me."
"Of course sometimes I would like to go back and do it all again."
"All of it?"
"Well maybe not some parts. But it would be fun to date again. And all the stuff before we had kids. I don't know, it would just be nice to not take all the early days for granted."
"What do you miss the most?" he asked after a moment.
"Late night runs to that 24 hour breakfast place that was down the street. Staying in bed all weekend. Learning how to be married."
"I miss walking around naked."
"Adam you did that once and it only lasted for about two minutes before I told you you'd better put clothes on or I'd make sure you were never naked again."
He chuckled at the memory and the look on her face.
"You know what I think?"
"I can only imagine," she muttered around a yawn.
"I think that our anniversaries don't matter that much. It's just the passing of time you know?"
"Oh I see what's going on here."
"What?" he asked innocently, his eyebrows shooting up.
"You forgot our anniversary and you didn't get anything. You remembered very late tonight, after I was already asleep, and you knew that you wouldn't have a chance to sneak out of bed and get me anything in the morning, so waking me up now was your romantic gesture, and you're trying to get me to agree that anniversaries don't matter so I won't be mad that you forgot."
"Maybe we've been married too long."
She laughed and shook her head, leaning up to kiss him.
"I love you, no matter how weird I think you are."
"I love you too babe. We'll go out to dinner or something okay?"
"We don't have to do anything. I'm just glad I'm with you. That's enough."
"Alright but for Christmas I owe you something so good, it makes it as the first story on the Best Buddy News Network."
"It's a deal."