Rick led us on. We moved as quickly as possible, avoiding large highways. Daryl and I traveled together constantly, I never left the back of his motorcycle unless we made stops. I often found myself looking around for Cheyenne, I honestly expected to see her jump out of Rick's car with Carl by her side. But she never did.
It tore into my heart each time I turned to grab her up in my arms and she wasn't there. I had almost called out for her a time or two, forgetting that she was really gone. Daryl had caught me about call out her name one day, and he gave me a pained look as I mentally shook myself back to reality. I felt somewhat hollow at times, a piece of me I had been pushing along for so long was now missing. I had to cope with that in an unforgiving world. I just couldn't figure out how to forgive myself.
I still looked for Shay and Andrea. It was a long lost hope, but everyday, I looked for them. I watched the woods as we rode along. Ransacked houses and buildings. Everywhere we went, I always tore the place apart, looking for any sign that a person or two had been there. Nothing was ever found that suggested either of them had been around. They were gone, too. I wondered if I'd ever see them again. Alive, anyway.
"Get in and out. Be careful. You saw all the walkers around the area. We need supplies, then we're outta here." Rick said, as we stood around in silence. Daryl stalked off toward one of the stores, and I followed. Deciding not to wait for him to make a plan, I split off to the building next door. Walking inside, I immediately heard feet shuffling. Raising my knife, I walked around the corner toward the isles.
Nothing. I could hear it, though. To my right, maybe... Creeping down the isle, I made my way toward the back of the store. My eyes caught glances of supplies we needed, but my first priority was to find the walker and take it out. Hunched down, I rounded the corner, still seeing nothing. Just a stretch of empty store in front of me. Must be down one of the isles... Ain't got time for hide-and-seek.
I mentally fussed at the walker as I began stepping lightly, checking each isle. Each time I reached an isle, it was empty. No walker. I was down to four, when I looked around the corner, and there it was. It's back was turned to me, and I could see the mix of clothes mingled with flesh, rotting off of its body. Anger flooded through me, and I stepped into full view.
"Hey, you!" I growled, holding my hunting knife tight in my right hand as it turned. Those dead eyes staring right through me. "Come here, ya ugly bastard!" The thing stumbled toward me. I blinked, preparing to attack... But... No fuckin' way...
The walker was no more. Long blonde hair, big blue eyes. She was smiling, walking toward me with open arms. My own arm hung limply at my side, my fingers barely grasping my knife. How's this possible? Losin' my damn mind... Gotta be... Cheyenne?
"Chy?" I whispered, watching her little frame walk closer. She was nearly to me, when I heard a noise from across the room.
"SPENCER! GET BACK!" Daryl's growling yell pulled me back into reality, and the walker was only inches from me, it's jaws snapping. Yelping, I jumped back, hearing the low thump of Daryl's arrow colliding with the walkers head. The walker fell forward, and I had no more room to back up. It fell on me, causing me to fall on my ass. Kicking the walker away, I pulled my knees up and looked at it. Before I could stand up, Daryl was at my side. "What the hell, girl?"
"I-I dunno." I shook my head, standing up. Ignoring Daryl, I grabbed my bag and tore it open. Trying to process what had just happened, I began shoving things into my bag. Noticing Daryl watching me, I felt my cheeks burning. I didn't want to deal with this right now. Not today, not here. Not now. I was losing my mind, and quite frankly, our group didn't have time for that.
"You all right?" Daryl asked from two isles over.
"Yea." I answered shortly. Without waiting for him, I left the store and walked out to our vehicles. Rick was walking towards his with Carl. I met up with the two and shoved the bag into Rick's arms. "Here."
"Thanks... What's wrong?" Rick asked. I didn't want to tell the truth, but saying "Nothing" would only make him question Daryl...
"Close call. Daryl got it." I mumbled, walking away from him. I stood by the motorcycle, watching as Maggie and Glenn appeared, then Daryl came out of the store. His eyes scanned around, and when they fell on me, I looked at the ground.
"Straight through this town. We're kind of goin' in big circles, but it's what we've got for now. We'll manage. This town is not safe. We go straight through. Make a stop before nightfall. Stay somewhere 'til mornin'. Let's go." Rick turned to get into his car. I waited for Daryl to come over to the motorcycle. Without a word, he climbed on, and I followed. Holding onto him loosely, I refused to look back at the store as we drove away.
The town was full of the dead. Rick was right, it wasn't safe. They heard us coming, and tried to catch us, but it was no use. After a few close calls, nearly running into walkers, we were through the town and back on the highway. We drove on, and on, and on. The cold air nipped at my skin, and I was ready to be out of the cold. Not like we had heaters, but we had blankets and I had Daryl.
Rick passed us on the highway, and we followed behind him to our destination. I watched the trees and woods flying by as we rode along. The sun was close to setting, and I knew we had to get to wherever it was we were going. And get there fast. Being out after dark wasn't exactly safe. We had all learned that the hard way, one way or another.
We hit a small town area, and Rick pulled up to the first house he saw. We didn't have too much of a choice at this point. As quietly as possible, we all gathered at the front of the house. Rick, Glenn, Daryl, and T-Dog started to go in, and I followed. Daryl must have heard me, because he turned around and glared at me.
"Stay here." He growled, causing me to take a step back. Glaring at him, and feeling embarrassed, I watched as he turned back to the house. Walking back down the stairs, I stayed by the motorcycle, waiting. Everything was quiet, and after what felt like half an hour, the guys returned signaling an all clear to enter the house.
Trudging away from the motorcycle, I made my way to Rick's vehicle, and once Carol grabbed her stuff and got out of my way, I grabbed my own bag. Wasting no time, I headed toward the house. Once inside, I picked a room, and unpacked my blankets. The fuck? Fuckin' jerk. I cursed Dixon in my head, despite knowing that I was fucked up in the head.
"Wanna tell me what happened back there? Or am I gonna have to figure it out?" Daryl asked, his voice stuck in that cold tone he had always held.
"I just... Froze. Guess that's what happened." I shrugged.
"Why?" He asked. Stop pokin', Daryl! I'm fine.
"I don't know! I... It don't matter no way. What's watch duty lookin' like?" I challenged, turning to look him in the eyes.
"You and me. Now." Daryl replied, watching my face.
"Good. What we waitin' for then?" I grumbled, snatching up my coat. Walking past him, I left the room, Daryl right behind me. We walked over to Rick and told him we were beginning our watch shift. Once out on the roof, we sat in deep silence, and I welcomed it. My brain was ticking away at what I had seen earlier that day.
Stop it, brain! You're just stupid, Spencer. Seein' shit. Gonna get yourself killed. I was gonna let that thing tear me apart. Jesus, I just stood there, gawkin' like an idiot. Thinkin' it was Chy. Get outta my head! I love you and I miss you. Lord knows I do. But get the fuck out before you get me killed! Can't just appear when I'm bein' attacked by a damn walker...
"See that?" Daryl mumbled, steadying his crossbow. Before answering, I squinted through the dim woods, trying to pin point what he was seeing. The sun had set, and it was hard to see into the woods. But a slight movement caught my eye, and I shook my head.
"See it." I whispered, watching the deer. She was big, just walking along the edge of the woods behind the house.
"Need a clean hit..." Daryl whispered aloud. "Ain't got time for trackin' her." He lifted his crossbow. Taking a moment to aim, he took the shot. The doe ran a few steps, before falling, her feet twitching. I looked away, I couldn't watch. The only way to survive was to kill, and I hated that it had to be that way. Daryl leaned in the window, calling for Rick. He came out and Daryl pointed to the deer.
"Dinner... We're actually gonna have a decent dinner." Rick slapped Daryl on the back. He left us and went downstairs to grab the deer. I watched him and T-Dog's figures walk across the yard to the woods. Grabbing up the doe, they lugged her back toward the house.
Why'd that bother me so much? Losin' your damn mind... I kept my eyes on the backyard, refusing to look at Daryl. I guessed either Rick or Hershel knew how to dress a deer, because Daryl stayed on the roof with me until our watch shift was over. Rick and T-Dog relieved us, insisting that we go grab dinner while we could. We left the roof and met Carol and Lori downstairs.
"Thank you for dinner." Carol said, looking at Daryl with big eyes.
"Yeah, thanks. It really helped out tonight." Lori agreed. Daryl gave them a grunt, and we made our plates, the deer meat looking like a five star dish. I sat at the table and ate, I knew Daryl couldn't drill me in front of everyone. Lucky for me, he wasn't much for making a scene. I ate slowly, savoring the food, buying myself time. Once finished, I dumped my dish in the sink, and walked to the room I had chosen.
Ignoring Daryl walking in and shutting the door, I took off my coat and my jeans. Peeling off my long sleeved shirt, I threw the covers down and climbed into the bed. Pulling the covers up to my chin, I watched in the darkness as Daryl threw his own jacket off. I felt the cool air as he pulled the covers down and joined me in the bed. I rolled on my side, facing the wall and the window.
"Spence." Daryl's gruff voice made me tense up. I said nothing, and he didn't wait for my reply. I felt his hand on my arm as he rolled me over to face him. "Spencer. What happened today?"
"I don't wanna talk about it." I replied, keeping my voice quiet.
"Think ya need to. Can't help you if you don't let me in." Daryl growled. I sighed and looked away.
"Don't say a word to anyone. Okay?" I asked, my voice still low. He said nothing, only nodded. I kept my eyes glued to the wall. "The walker... I saw it. Was gettin' ready to put it down, but... I saw Chy.. It was like she was really there and I'm goin' crazy, ain't I?"
"No, I don't think you are." Daryl said quietly. I glanced over at him.
"Then why'd I see a dead person?" I asked flatly.
"Dunno. Maybe just your way of copin'." He shrugged.
"I want it to stop." I mumbled.
"Stop blamin' yourself." Daryl's voice was back to its harsh tone.
"You think I ain't tryin'?" I snapped. He and I stared at each other through the darkness. Suddenly he was over me, his mouth close to my ear.
"You gotta stop, girl. Imma make you stop." He growled. Then his mouth was on mine. Something lit up inside of me like a fire, and I returned his kiss greedily. His tongue slipped across mine, and I felt his arm under my back. He lifted me up to him, his other arm supporting our weight.
My arms wrapped around him, my hands at the back of his neck. He needs a hair cut. My fingers grabbed at his hair, pulling him closer to me as we kissed. He kissed me roughly, as if he were trying to keep me from disappearing. I had already disappeared once, I didn't want to again. Not in that dark place, deep inside of my own mind. That was a scary place.
I wanna forget. Even if only for a moment. Make me forget... I silently begged, as Daryl tore away the rest of my clothes with ease. I could feel him against me, over me. His body was warm, as he pressed against me, his mouth on my neck. I felt his hand slide down my side, down to my hip, and when he reached his destination, I let out a little gasp at his touch.
Daryl's movements were slow, his finger almost teasing. He continued kissing me, and I lost track of the world outside of that bedroom. He increased his speed, causing me to moan softly against his lips. Slow... Faster... Slow again... It was more than I could take. I wanted him right then and there, but something inside of me let him keep the control. Faster again, I couldn't think.
"Daryl." I whispered against his lips, I could feel the pleasure building. Suddenly, in one quick movement he thrust into me, and I had to kiss him harder to keep from crying out. He moved against me hard, rough, but I welcomed it. I wanted it. It made me feel and that's all I wanted to do. The slight pain of his size was masked away by the pleasure he caused by thrusting against me. He was still supporting himself with one arm, while holding me with the other as his body rocked against mine roughly.
As he moved against me, his lips on mine, I felt it. Tears. They rolled down my face slowly and I couldn't stop them. I love you, Dixon. I did. I loved him so much, I needed him so much. If making me feel was his main priority, he was doing a damn good job. His hand moved from under me, cupping my face. Immediately, he stopped moving against me, and pulled away from me.
"Am I hurtin' you?" Daryl asked quietly, his breath tickling my lips. His gruff voice sounded so concerned.
"No." I whispered, pulling him back to me. He pulled away again, his eyes locked on mine.
"Why you cryin'?" He asked, studying my face. His thumb brushed away the tears on my face, and I allowed him to do so.
"I...'Cause you're makin' me feel." I admitted, my lip quivering slightly as I brought my hand to his cheek. The stubble along his face prickled my skin.
"Good." Daryl mumbled, leaning down to kiss me again. This kiss was softer, and somewhere in the darkness of my mind, everything was forgotten as he loved me.
I am so so sorry for the long update wait ! I deeply apologize for making you all wait for another chapter. I need to snag me up the 3rd season and I will be updating like crazy ! haha. Again, I apologize for taking so long to update !
Thanks to my AMAZING, make that FREAKIN AMAZING, REVIEWERS/READERS/FOLLOWERS/FAVORITERS ! You guys rock fanfic, if it wasn't for all of the positive feedback I've received, I wouldn't be writing these stories ! I am thoroughly enjoying this story, and it will get even better when I get the 3rd season. Thanks to my patient readers. You guys are AWESOME !
~Kaila