"How's she doin'?" Daryl asked, as we walked down toward the screaming baby in Carl's arms. Standing by one of the cells, I watched Daryl lean down to Carl, taking the newborn into his arms. I immediately thought of Cheyenne, the sight of a newborn throwing me off guard. The child I had loved more than anything else in the world was there, then gone from my head. I forced myself not to think about her.
Daryl was holding her, and her whining had ceased to whimpers. Beth walked over and handed Daryl a bottle, and I stepped closer to get a better look at the newborn who had been cleaned up. So small... I thought, watching Daryl "shhh" her and convince her to feed from the bottle. Finally taking it, Daryl looked up with a satisfied smile.
"She gotta name yet?" He asked, Carl, and I looked over at him.
"N-Not yet..." Carl admitted, his eyes tired. "I was thinkin', maybe Cheyenne or Sophia... There's Carol, too. And... Andrea, Amy... Jacqui, Patricia.. Or Lori." The way he said her name broke my heart. "I don't know."
"You like that?" Daryl looked down at the baby in his arms. "Huh? Little ass kicker. Right? That's a good name, right?" Everyone laughed quietly, and even I smiled at his face.
"Real cute." I scoffed playfully, and he grinned again.
"Little Ass Kicker, you like that, huh? You like that, sweetheart?" Daryl smiled down at her and my heart melted. I watched him feed her until she had nearly finished the bottle, and I leaned over to see she was asleep. "Wanna hold her?"
Before I could say anything, Daryl held the sleeping infant out to me. He handed her over easily, slowly, so she wouldn't wake. Her small body was warm in my arms, and I looked down at her sleeping face. That baby soft skin radiated against the little light we had, and I touched her cheek with my finger.
"Hi, baby.." I whispered softly, feeling tears in my eyes. She was so beautiful, so fragile. And in my arms, she was terrifying.
Yet, soothing at the same time. I wanted nothing more in that moment, than to stay that way. Holding her, loving her... Protecting her. Silently vowing to keep her safe always, I stared down at her tiny face, thinking of Lori. Her ups and downs with the group had been shoved far out of the door when she had so selflessly made the ultimate sacrifice. She had wanted her baby to live on, and I knew we had to do everything in our power to see that through.
Beth was standing beside me, watching. Smiling, I held my arms out to her, and she took the sleeping newborn away. They had set up a place for the baby to sleep comfortably, and she needed it. Walking over to the perch, I sat down on our blanket, trying to process the events that had taken place that day. My hand went to the back of my head, which was growing more sore, and a constant dull throb echoed through the back of my skull.
"How's that head?" I heard Hershel's voice before I saw him. He hobbled up the steps like a pro, and looked down at where I sat.
"Sore." I managed a weak grin.
"It's going to be." Hershel nodded, and he gave me a strained glance. "Spencer, what you and Maggie went through... Make sure to talk to Daryl about anything that may bother your conscience. You girls did all you could, there was nothing else that could have been done in that situation. Don't let that kill your spirit. Lori was loved and she knew so. That's why she was so willing to die for her baby. She knew that Carl would be okay. The baby would be in great hands. That's not on you. You all did what you could."
I was in tears, and I could say nothing, only nod my head. Hershel leaned on his crutch and patted my shoulder gently, before leaving me on the perch alone. Trying to keep it together, I pulled my knees up to my chest and took a deep breath. Looking up at the ceiling, I thought about something that I had long forgot. That first day on the road.
"That's a pretty little one you have." A female's voice caught my attention away from the two men. I turned to see a dark haired woman smiling at me.
"Thanks, but she's not... She's my cousin." I explained, looking down at Cheyenne. The woman saw the water bottle I was holding, and looked back up at me.
"So, you met Shane and my son Carl?" She asked.
"Oh, yea. They were great. Gave me some water. I know Cheyenne needed it." I said, and Cheyenne nodded her head.
"That's a pretty name." The woman knelt down in front of her. "My name is Lori, and if you and your cousin need anything, I can do my best to help." Lori offered a sweet smile, and I knew that she was doing her best in this whole mess of a situation.
"Thank you..very much. I'm Spencer." I said, and she stood back up to take my hand.
"I really don't know what is going on... I mean everything's been so hectic..." She shook her head, and there was a distant look in her eyes.
"I know what you mean." I agreed. "But your husband and son seem to have everything under control." I grinned, looking back in the direction they had been.
"Shane's not my husband." Lori said softly. "He was a deputy before all this, and my husband was the sheriff. They were partners." I looked at Lori and saw slight pain on her face. I decided not to ask any questions. It really was none of my business.
"At least he's tryin' to keep folks calm. I don't think I could do that much." I half laughed. Lori's smile reappeared.
"You seem to be doing a good job with the little one." Lori looked at Cheyenne with a slight sadness. "I remember when Carl was her age..." She trailed off.
"They grow fast." I admitted, turning my head. I suddenly thought about Shay. I turned back to Lori. "Lori, it was great to meet you, but I gotta go check on my friend. I have another girl with me, my age. And she ain't doin' so hot."
"Is she okay? Was she bitten?" Lori asked, her face growing serious.
"No, no. Nothin' like that. She lost her boyfriend this mornin'... And it's hittin' her pretty hard." I explained. "He got taken right from her... We had to watch him be torn apart."
"Oh, God, that's awful." Lori's hand was at her chest. "I am so sorry, Spencer."
"It's okay, Imma go check on her." I said, and began to walk away.
"If you need anything, just come talk to me or Shane!" Lori called.
And when that baby got old enough, and started asking questions about her mother, I would be sure to tell her that story. That story about the day we met on that highway, and how nice she was. How comforting she was. I only hoped Carl would remember those things about her as well. Deep in thought, the shadow to my right made me jerk my head, and I saw Daryl standing by the stairs.
"What's on ya mind, girl?" He asked gruffly, walking up the steps.
"Lori." I admitted in a near whisper. "I don't even wanna think about T right now, though it's kinda hard not to. So used to him bein' around... You know?"
"It sucks." He said quietly, sitting beside me.
"One day at a time, right?" I asked, looking up at his face. His thumb brushed my lower lip, and it gave me a glimmer of comfort.
"One day at a time."
The sun was barely in the sky and the boys had dug graves. Daryl took a flower to Carol's, and I had laid one on Lori and T-Dog's graves. Feeling sad, as if this were the last goodbyes, I turned away quickly, following Daryl back up to the prison. Stopping a moment, I gazed out at the woods behind the fence. It reminded me of the farm in that moment, and all I could see was T-Dog up on the R.V., a big grin plastered across his face.
All those times when we had supply runs or things got really rough... We'd get ourselves out of the situation and T-Dog would be beside me, patting my back. His laugh had always put a smile on my face, everyday was met with a new joke from him. And he had always had my back, especially when things went downhill. Now... I'd never see him again. Not here, anyway.
"Spencer?" Daryl's voice broke through my thoughts, and I took one last look at the sun, before catching up with him. Trying to leave it all behind was impossible, the only option was to take it all in slowly. Grieve, mourn the people we loved. The death of people you loved wasn't something you just got over. You could only learn to live with it.
We trudged up to the prison and walked inside quietly. The others were already sitting around the block area, eating breakfast. Daryl and I grabbed up our share, and sat a little ways away from the rest of the group. I noticed Katherine eyeing us as we ate, and I felt very uncomfortable with her staring. On the verge of saying something quite nasty, a noise stopped me. Footsteps, followed by a voice.
"Everybody okay?" Not just any voice, Rick's voice. He opened the cell door, coming into the room where we all sat.
"Yeah, we are." Maggie replied calmly. I stopped chewing for a moment as Rick walked further into the room.
"What about you?" Hershel asked.
"Cleared out the boiler block." Rick announced, standing beside the table.
"How many were there?" Daryl asked, his eyes on Rick.
"I don't know, a dozen. Two dozen... I have to get back. Just wanted to check on Carl." Rick patted his son on the back gently.
"Rick, we can handle taking out the bodies." Glenn stood on his feet. "You don't have to."
"No, I do." Rick said surely, his face pained. Then, he walked quickly over to where we sat, looking at Daryl. "Everyone have a gun and a knife?"
"Yea, runnin' low on ammo, though." Daryl replied.
"Maggie and me were planning on making a run this afternoon. Found a phone book with some places we can hit, look for bullets and formula." Glenn explained, his voice quiet.
"We cleared out the generator room." Daryl said, and Rick looked back at him. "Axel's there, tryin' to fix it. Case of emergency. We're gonna sweep the lower levels, as well."
"Good." Rick popped his head up, and walked away. "Good." He said again, walking the direction he had come, toward the cell door.
"Rick!" Hershel called out to him, but he just shut the door and kept walking, as if he'd heard nothing at all.
Okay, I so so so apologize about the long update wait ! I have most definitely NOT forgotten this story, it's my pride and joy, trust me ! My laptop charger died and I had to get a new one. Between work, that incident, a new God baby, and getting adjusted in our new home... I've barely had time to breathe ! But I'm getting back on track and I have some cool stuff for you guys !
Got a twitter ? Look me up ! kailabrittFF is my twitter handle. I will be posting "Promo Pics" for my stories, tweeting updates, all kinds of stuff for my stories and things about the shows I watch ! So follow me on twitter and enjoy the Daryl/OC love fest. Gonna be great.
Tweet me about your reactions to the finale ! I would love to hear. Thanks for being such a great support fan base ! You guys rock more than you know. I wouldn't be holding onto all my love for writing without all the great feed back I've been given. So thank you all, very greatly, for that !
~Kaila