Sorry for not updating in who knows how long but in case you didn't know, I posted a new story so I hope that explains my lack of uh... uploading? I'll try to alternate between posting my stories though… And I have read Blood of Olympus but I don't want to just repeat the book so I'm going to change the content and the ending and I might even add an epilogue.

Please read The Vow of Eternal Maidenhood and my new fanfiction, Selfish Love! :D

The Adventure of a Lovesick Idiot:Gaia the Ugly Face

"Guys, get your butts over here!" Jason yelled. "You've got to see this!"

"Okay, okay," Frank grumbled unhappily. "I'm coming, alright?"

"Do you see that? She's already alive! She isn't meant to rise until we spill our blood on the ancient stones."

"Yeah, what's she doing looking so…lively?" Hazel asked confused.

Gaia cackled evilly on her throne of earth and chains as if she had already won the war.

Leo checked his watch. It was two minutes past four. They had to beat Gaia, it had to be today, August the first. The Feast of Spes, the celebration of hope.
"So are we going to bust in, get our weapons and kick ass Leo style?" He raised his chainsaw with a maniacal grin.

Annabeth clenched her teeth.
"I hate to say it but I don't think we can win this war by planning it out. Gaia will see through anything we can think of. The scheme? We somehow get Gaia of the ground, we kill her while she's still airborne, we leave with a happy ending, okay? And improvise. Lots and lots of improvisation.

"I like that plan," Percy agreed. "Actually, I like any plan that Annabeth plans."

"You'd better," she joked.

"Okay then, we're busting in!" Piper smiled.

"Gaia, prepare to meet your end!" Leo announced triumphantly.

Gaia wrinkled her nose unimpressed.
"Leo Valdez, a stunted Latino elf. A seventh wheel if you must. Do you honestly think that you can end the life of a goddess who has roamed this earth for 4.5 billion years?"

"Honestly? Not really…" he answered.

"Wow, much enthusiasm," Nico commented sarcastically.

"Festus!" Leo cried, "We need to enact our secret endgame."

The bronze automaton stumbled around trying to find its way.
"Cree-eek?"

"Yes, definitely, it's the only way," he said. "We have to do this." Leo got onto his favourite metal dragon and wrapped his arms around the neck. "Hey Gaia, you have… an… uh…ugly… ooh… ah… face! Yeah! You have an ugly face!"

"So?"

"Ugly face~ Ugly face~" Leo sang.

Gaia rolled her eyes.
"So? I'm 4.5 billion years old, remember? I don't care if you think I have an ugly face. First off, when you're that old, all the insults just bound off the hard shell, and secondly, you're just a child. Why am I supposed to care what a puny 16 year old thinks about me?"

"So how would you feel about eight demigods calling you ugly face?"

The other seven demigods gave small smiles as they saw Leo's impromptu plan of improvisation.
"Ugly face~ Ugly face~ Ugly face~ Ugly face~ Ugly face~" they chanted together.

"And I think that Piper has something to say about your face too," Leo smirked.

"Yes, yes I do," she told everyone. "Don't you think that Gaia's face has the ugliest face that you have ever seen? Doesn't that just give you the urge to sing with us? Don't you want to call her Ugly Face?"

"Ugly face~ Ugly face~ Ugly face~" the monsters chorused.

"Urgh…" Gaia seethed. Calling her ugly face was fine. Calling her ugly face with his friends was borderline annoying. But being embarrassed in front of her entire army?! That stunted Latino elf had to pay!

As Festus shot into the sky with Leo holding on for his dear life, Gaia followed closely.

Leo ran over his secret plan in his head. Get Gaia in the air, make mega explosion, die, and get a happy Gaia-free future for everybody else.

Jason gave everyone a quick look. He knew what Leo was planning. This was the exact method that Ouranos the primordial god of the sky had been killed. Jason couldn't let that happen, not on his watch. He manipulated the wind to carry him into the sky too and joined the airborne battle.

Leo closed his eyes and hoped that it would work. The explosion was due any moment now, as soon as he burned Festus down, there would be a magnificent burst of fire. When he opened his eyes, he noticed something in the corner of them. Was that Jason?

"What are you doing here?"

"To storm or fire the world must fall," he recited. And I will make Gaia fall. I won't let you do what you're planning."

Nico glowered. Green flames licked his body and his aura was made up of Greek fire.

"What's going on?" Frank whispered into Hazel's ear.

"I honestly have no idea," she whispered back.

"I call on the final blessing of Hades," he chanted and floated towards the sky.

"How is he doing that?" Leo yelled frantically.

"This is the blessing of Hades. I'm literally sacrificing myself. My body will turn into Greek fire and in ten seconds, my body will explode," Nico explained.

"Holy shit," Leo commented.

"Holy shit," Jason agreed.

"Don't worry, I chose this. Finally, I'll be free from this burden," Nico smiled.

"Holy shit, he's smiling," Leo said.

"I have never seen him smile before. Wait, did he say ten seconds?" Jason gasped.

"Let's hug," Leo suggested. "If I hug you and I concentrate super hard, I might be able to protect you from the spontaneous combustion."

"Might?!" Jason shrieked. "Might?!"

"Yeah, might, now let's hug," Leo insisted.

"Do I have a choice?" Jason asked distressed, flying over to Festus and embracing him tightly.

Gaia widened her eyes and attempted to get back to the ground.
"No, you wretched little boys! Urgh, I know where you live!"
And those were her last words.

Honestly, this is the weirdest chapter I have ever written and I know it really sucks but I had to end it somehow. I'm sorry that this is so bad, you guys deserved better. :( Honestly, you can flame me all you want for this chapter…

BRING ON THE FLAMES, COS UNCLE LEO'S HERE!

The Goddess of Duck Tape out~