Back to school -.- YAY. I really didn't update as much as I had hoped due to… certain unforeseen events. And my laptop is being a baby, restarting every time I wake it up from sleep. Nevertheless, here's the next chapter:

The Adventures of a Lovesick Idiot: Penguins of the Greek Empire

"I don't get it Calypso," Ignus sneered, "We could be together forever!"

Calypso groaned and facepalmed. She was seriously considering deleting her Iris Message account just to get away from him.
"If you want to be eating with your own teeth the next time I see you, shut it."

She walked away from the rainbow mist thinking it was over only to find that there was a patch of mist trailing behind her.
"You have got to be kidding me!" she screamed.

"Got a Platinum Iris Message account," he bragged, "It's got its benefits."

"We are about to battle against the Romans, so if you don't mind?"

"I do mind! I mind that you're following me around everywhere. I have Leo, remember?"

Ignus snorted,
"That pathetic little wimpy-faced cry-baby? He can't protect you the way I can." He flexed his left bicep for extra emphasis.

Calypso turned around to roll her eyes. She contemplated running away from the mist. The mist couldn't go straight through a wall or something, right? She set off at a brisk pace towards her room.

"Dear… I slayed Titans for the sake of our everlasting love," he smiled. "Aren't I brave?"

"Wow, that's romantic," she said, her voice practically dripping with sarcasm. "Killing your lover's parents is almost as romantic as me punching your teeth out."

The door of her room stood tall in front of her but Calypso knew she had to be quick. She had to open the door, get in and close the door all in a split second but that would only work assuming the mist couldn't travel through solid objects of course.

She used her wonderful acting skills to her advantage and squinted at Ignus' face (no matter how repulsive she found it).
"Oh my gods," she gasped, "Is that a zit?!"

Ignus almost fell off his chair scrambling for the nearest mirror. Calypso took the opportunity to throw open the door, dash in and then quite rudely slammed it in Ignus' "zit-ridden" face.

"Wait… My face is perfectly fine…" he realised after a while. "I'm fabulous after all."

Calypso gave a sigh of relief. She had finally gotten rid of him.

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure about this," Leo admitted. He had already fallen over twice and that was within twenty five seconds.

The demigods were dressed in full battle armour and would've been completely ready if it weren't for the crushing weight of it all.

"We must optimise our defence!" Frank ordered.

"How are we supported to optimise our attack then? We'll be waddling around like penguins for gods' sake," Leo countered.

"Leo has a point," Annabeth started, "They are a little heavy…"

"Well suck it up and be a man!" Frank yelled.

Everyone gave each other concerned looks. Maybe all the power had gotten to his head after all… Frank was practically a miniature version of Coach Hedge.

"We aren't men, we're penguins," Percy muttered under his breath.

"If we're penguins, then we are the manliest of penguins!"

"You have got to be kidding me!" Calypso shrieked. She thought she'd be safe, but she wasn't.

"Eh… you have gaps under the door," he explained, "A Platinum Iris Message allows the compacting and expanding of gas through small spaces."

She groaned. Curse him! Of course he had to have a platinum account. Calypso kicked the wall hard.
"Ouch," before exiting the building at a speedy pace. She had reached the small patch of gardening that Chiron tended to in his spare time especially between tail maintenance.

"This chasing game again, dear?" he smirked.

Calypso turned around to make sure that the annoying cloud of mist was still following her. She turned the handle of the hot water tap and took hold of the hose that was connected to it.

"HI-YAHHHHHHHHH!" she yelled, spraying water at a temperature of 60 degrees Celsius and at a rate of half a litre every second.

As she had hoped, the rainbow disappeared therefore disconnecting the call.

Calypso took the time to admire the pretty parsnips that Chiron had grown.

Rustle, rustle.

Her eyes zipped over to the rustling sound to see a shy looking boy hiding behind a shrub. The boy jumped back in shock when their eyes met.

"How did you know I was there?!" he exclaimed. "I was practically as invisible and silent as a ninja!"

"Are you a Roman?" Calypso questioned.

"She knows all!" he continued. "Could she possibly be a goddess?"

"Actually I used to be, but-"

"Argh! She's truly a goddess," he panicked. "I must return! The puny Greeks actually have a goddess on their side!"

Calypso raised her eyebrow in disbelief. The Roman Twelfth Legion had hundreds of legionnaires and this was who they sent? It was a joke, right? She walked slowly towards him.

"This is terrible," the boy reported in the manner of a shoddy football commentator. "The subject is approaching. Closer! Closer! Abort, abort! I admit defeat, surrender, whatever you call it. Mayday! The banana has stolen the monkey, wait no, the monkey has stolen the banana."

She lightly kicked the boy on his shin causing him to fall over.

"NOOO! I've been taken down," he cried clutching his shin while squirming around on the floor.

Calypso looked around. This just had to be a joke! There was no way in Tartarus that their leader sent this pathetic lump who was nothing but a waste of skin. She lifted his by the back of his collar. He wasn't heavy at all, probably just a little lighter than the machinery she had helped Leo built back when they were both on Ogygia. She forcefully dragged him into the Big House with him kicking and screeching.

"Found him snooping around," she said, wrinkling her nose.

Chiron looked up from the battle plans he had drawn up.
"Oh, good job Calypso. You got a Roman before the battle even began. Extra shower privileges, maybe even double the dessert."

Okay, I've been trying to put it off but next chapter will most likely be the start of the battle. I'm so bad at fighting scenes -.-' Oh well, look forward to the next chapter although with all my assignments, I really don't know when that'll be. You'd think I wouldn't be so busy only two weeks into the start of term…

~ The Goddess of Duck Tape out