Time seemed to tick away slowly. It had only been a few hours since we had left Woodbury and returned back to the prison. Everyone was settling in as well as could be expected. Tyreese's good people skills had saved the people in the town from Phillip. If they would have stayed, I was almost positive they would have been killed. But here... Here, they were safe. This place was home.
And it was the first place, in a very long time, that actually felt like home to me. Sure, my apartment with Shay had been a nice place. It had been our own. But it was just an apartment with two college students. This was different. This was a group of people who lived together day in and day out. People who fought to keep each other safe. People who loved each other. A family, which was something I had never really had before.
"Hey, there." Michonne's voice pierced my thoughts. She walked over to stand near me by the post, looking out at the field before us.
"Hey. How's everybody holdin' up?" I asked, my eyes drifting back out to the walkers staggering around outside of the fences.
"Fine. How are you holding up?" She asked quietly, and I shrugged.
"You?" I asked, trying to take the focus off of me.
"I want him dead. I'm thinking about leaving. Going after him." Michonne said surely.
"Think you're gonna find him?" I questioned, still looking out past the fences.
"I believe I can." Michonne replied, and I could feel her eyes on me.
"And what if we need you here? Don't think you're gonna find him. He don't wanna be found." I mumbled. "He knows we're gonna be lookin' for him...after what he's done."
"Rick and Daryl can handle things. You can handle things. Maggie, Glenn.."
"And what about Carl? He's grown attached to you." I pointed out, finally turning my head to look at her. "Don't think he can stand losin' anyone else. None of us can, really."
"I won't be going away forever. Just long enough to track him down and kill him." Michonne said, trying to brush it off as if it were no big deal.
"Daryl wants to find him, too. Wants to kill him, I'm sure. After Merle and Andrea... He ain't good at emotions, you know, but he does feel them. He just wants Phillip dead. I do, too. We all do."
"Why do you call him Phillip?" She asked suddenly, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't like to consider callin' him anything that resembles power or authority.. He ain't no governor, he's just Phillip. He's just a cold hearted killer, disguised as this man who wants to save folks and band together to survive this world. Yea, well.. Phillip's full of shit." I shook my head. "And it kills, it kills, to know how close she was... Right here."
"That's why someone has to finish him." Michonne said, anger and hurt in her voice.
"I know you ain't gonna change your mind. Wish I could, though. Just don't take too long, yea?" I looked back out at the fence.
"Yeah.. Go on up to the prison and let him hug you, Spencer. Let him be there for you. He's worried, been pacing upstairs since you came out here." Michonne said quietly. She touched my arm. "I'll be back. I will."
"You best." I said hoarsely, trying to keep from getting emotional. I heard her footsteps walking away, and I guessed she really was going to go after Phillip. I wondered when she'd leave. My thoughts were scattered and racing. My brain was here and there, and my heart was broken for the loss we had just experienced. We had lost so many already.
Sophia was the first one that came to mind. Then it was Dale. Oh, how I had mourned him. He had become so fatherly to me, and I had never had someone treat me that way before. I had lost my brother, but, at the time, still had Cheyenne and Shay. Dale had stepped in and been so good to everyone in the group, always being the advice giver to us all. The voice of reason.
Then I got my brother back and lost Shay. Andrea as well. Shane wasn't much of a loss, he'd been a danger to everyone. The farm being lost and that winter... That winter had been so cruel and so hard. And losing Chy.. Her little face, full of tears and worry, came to my mind. It was heart wrenching to watch her accept her fate. And what I had to do... What Daryl and I had to do..
"Spencer." His gruff voice pulled me away from the fence, and I was walking fast toward him. His arms hung open for me, and I collapsed against him, a crying mess. It was too much of a hassle to have emotional break downs when the world had went to shit. But being at the prison gave me a chance to get some of those emotions out, and I did so by just crying into his neck.
Daryl was holding me close, quiet. I didn't need him to say anything. He never really needed to say anything. He didn't have to, I just knew. It was all going to be okay. That was the feeling I got from being in his arms. It was all going to be okay. The loss wouldn't be for nothing, Michonne would either find Phillip and kill him or not. But either way she'd come back. We'd rebuild and bounce back stronger than ever.
Things would be okay, because they had to be... Trying to catch my breath, I began to recollect myself, trying to regain my composure. Taking a deep breath, I sighed against his neck, shaking my head lightly. Letting him go, I took a step back from him, looking up at his face. Our eyes locked, and his seemed to burn into mine.
"Sorry." I mumbled. "Kinda lost myself."
"Always find you." Daryl mumbled, his voice a light throaty growl.
"You always do." I said, not able to look away from him. "What happens now?"
"Gonna go out, try to find him. Not gonna go too far, just this area. Make sure he ain't set up close by or lurkin' around." Daryl shared his plan.
"Today?" I asked.
"Not now. Go out every few days, make sure he ain't nearby. Keep an eye out around the prison.." He trailed off, looking out at the yard.
"I just keep seein' her face.." I said quietly, grabbing the fence. "She tried to get back to us.."
"She tried." Daryl agreed. We were quiet for a moment, and the silence felt like a heavy blanket smothering me. I just wanted to hear something. A bird, footsteps, anything.. But everything was quiet around us. The worst kind of silence. The kind that makes your head race with thoughts and your emotions deepen, thickening like a black fog around your heart.
"We just keep losin' people." I stated blankly, trying to wrap my mind around everything that had happened the last year.
"More reason to keep our shit together." Daryl mumbled, his hand resting on my shoulder. He let his arms cross around my neck, resting limply on my chest. His back was warm, and I leaned into him, still staring out ahead of us, my fingers still clutching the chain link fence.
"And Michonne?" I asked, wishing she wouldn't just leave.
"She'll be fine. She's tough as nails. It's somethin' she needs to do, ya know? And if she finds him before we do, that'll be the end of it." Dixon explained gruffly, and I nodded.
"Just wish we'd all stay together. Feels..wrong, separatin'. Feels like we could need her, you know, if shit goes bad." I mumbled, watching the walkers outside of the fences.
"She'll be back." Daryl said quietly. "Come on. Let's get inside."
"Yea.." I nodded, letting go of the fence. We walked up to the prison in silence, and went through the main door we used. Walking into the cell block, I veered off from Daryl, walking towards Sam. He was sitting on the stairs, talking to Shay, who was standing up.
"You think her leaving is really a good idea?" Shay looked at me, then back to Sam.
"No," I shook my head, "but there's no talkin' her out of it. I... I understand why. Phillip's still out there. I was there, I saw what he did to Andrea. He's the reason she's dead, and if anybody's gotta make this personal, it's Michonne and Daryl. Think people forget he killed Merle, too."
"We know that." Sam looked up at me. "She'll get him. Or one of us will if he decides to show up anywhere near here."
"Daryl mentioned to Rick he was going to do perimeter checks and go outside of the prison to check the areas. Make sure the Governor's not creeping around nearby." Shay glanced over at me. "I think that's a good idea."
"Me too." I agreed. "Don't need the bastard sneakin' up on us. We gotta good thing goin' now."
"I'll go out with him. I'd like to get to know him better anyway." Sam said, standing. I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "What?"
"Really? Get to know him better?" I asked, skeptical.
"Well, he's datin' my baby sister, after all." Sam stepped toward me with a chuckle, kissing my cheek. "Think it's his watch duty.. So I'll go make a formal offer now."
"Be nice." I barked, and he laughed.
"Hey," Sam half turned and held his arms out in a shrug, "like the guy so far, wanna keep it that way, Sis!"
"Yea, yea!" I hissed, giving him a light smile. He laughed softly, before leaving Shay and I alone. Looking back to my best friend, I sighed. "Those two are gonna be trouble."
"Double." Shay grinned. "But they won't have shit on us."
"Who does?" I asked, grabbing her hand. "Jesus, I missed you."
"Well, I'm here now." She squeezed my hand and hooked her arm through mine. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when... You know."
"I know." I whispered, resting my head on her shoulder. "But you're here now. All that matters."
"That's damn right, babe." She said surely. "And I always will be. I'm not letting no walkers or shit take me out! I'm a fighter."
"Just what I like to hear." I lifted my head. "Wanna go up to the bridge with me? I'm takin' Beth and Carl on a quick scout."
"Let's get to it, then!" Shay let go of my arm, and we walked toward the block where the others were. Rick was standing by the block door, talking to Tyreese, when we walked in.
"Spencer, Shay." Rick looked at us with concern. I grinned and his face softened.
"Where's Carl and Beth?" I asked, glancing around.
"Carl!" Rick called, and his son came out of his cell.
"Is everything okay?' Carl asked, his face worried.
"Fine!" I spoke up, stepping forward. "We gotta job to do, remember? Go get Beth, we're goin' up to the bridge. Meet us outside."
"Sure!" Carl smirked, and left the block.
"Thank you, both of you." Rick said quietly, and I furrowed my brow.
"For what?" I asked.
"Time with him. Taking the time to take him out with you two, keepin' his mind occupied. He's upset about Michonne." Rick muttered.
"All are... It ain't nothin', you know I love Carl. Love Beth, everyone. Do what I can to make it easier." I gave his arm a gentle squeeze, before leaving the cell block. Shay was behind me, quiet. Walking back outside, the sun was soft and warm on my face. We stood, waiting on the other two. As expected, we didn't have to wait long. Within two minutes or so, Carl and Beth came walking through the door from the prison, out to where we stood.
"You two ready?" Shay asked, and they nodded, Beth shielding the sun from her eyes.
"All right, follow us." I said, walking toward the door leading up to the bridge. "We're goin' up, gotta check the area. Gotta keep a look out on the woods. Don't know what could be goin' on out there."
We walked through the inside, up to the bridge. Once up, we stopped looking at our surroundings. The height gave a better advantage of being able to see the woods, maybe it was the angle. Carl had binoculars, and he was looking around slowly, scanning the woods. I glanced at Shay, unsure of where to begin. She had been going to school in hopes to one day be a teacher, I figured it was best to let her take the floor and start this off.
"We're going to start watches at different points around the prison, as you both know. There will come a point when one of you, if not both of you, are going to be up here. Now, I know you two know the drill, but we're going to go over a few pointers. Cool?" Shay looked at Carl, then to Beth.
"Yea." Beth nodded, and Carl gave her a nod.
"Cool. First, when you're on watch, don't forget the key calls. Whistles and whatever Daryl called that one thing he did." Shay rolled her eyes, as Beth and Carl managed light laughs. "Anything you see, no matter how small, even a glimpse... You let someone know. No matter how simple it may be, it could be something-"
"Or someone." I cut in.
"Right, or someone dangerous." Shay glanced at me with a smirk.
"When you two are up here, just be on guard. Don't ever let it down." I looked at Carl and Beth.
"So, you guys think the Governor is still close by." Carl said, watching my eyes.
"We don't know that for sure." I shook my head.
"But, you think he is." Beth was staring at me now, they both wanted answers. I didn't have a straight answer to give either of them.
"Personally, yea. I think he's still out there somewhere. But Michonne and Daryl will find him if so. Daryl ain't gonna let him get nowhere near this place. Y'all both know that."
"And Michonne will be okay by herself?" Beth asked, worriedly.
"She's tough, she'll be fine." I replied, glancing at Carl. "She's gonna be back here soon."
"Not soon enough." Carl mumbled.
"Fuckin' right. Not soon enough at all." I growled softly, shaking my head. "But we'll manage, always do."
"And if he comes here? The Governor?" Beth asked, looking over at me again.
"If you're up here and gotta clear shot, take it." I suggested. "If not, we're comin' up with plans. If he comes through here with a group, we'll have a plan. Comes alone, shouldn't be too hard. Just can't let him sneak up on us."
"That is the worst case scenario." Shay spoke up. "Him coming back with a group or sneaking up on us somehow. Sneaking into the prison.. We can't have that. That's why we need everyone on their toes, right? We have to make sure he doesn't get in here under our noses. Which is why we are going to have this place guarded and have our people ready. We need to be ready for those worst case scenarios. And I know, and Spence knows, that you two know what you're doing. We don't worry about the two of you. You both have your shit together where it counts and know how to defend yourselves and the others. That's what's important at times like this."
"She's absolutely right." I stepped toward them. "Don't doubt your selves, okay? See somethin', say somethin'. Don't want him comin' back. No matter what happens or how safe you feel, don't forget that Phillip's out there. Alive."
"We can't forget that." Beth said quietly, and I looked at Carl.
"We'll be ready for him." Carl said, his face serious.
"Good." Shay patted Carl on the back, and I rested my hands on his shoulders.
"Try not to worry too much, guys. Just... Stay alert." I muttered, kissing the top of Carl's head. Walking by Beth, I put my arm around her shoulders, as the four of us walked back toward the prison door. "How's Judith doin' on formula?"
"She's okay right now." Beth replied. "But I dunno how long that'll last."
"Daryl and I can go on a run when she starts gettin' low. Do you need anything?" I asked, as we walked inside.
"Chocolate." Beth grumbled.
"Chocolate would be nice." Carl agreed, his voice dull. I could tell he was still upset over Michonne leaving.
"Chocolate it is." I nodded, squeezing Beth's shoulder. "If I see any, I'll scoop it up."
"Thank you." Beth smiled, and I shrugged.
"Who doesn't miss chocolate?"
Guys, I apologize so very deeply for the long ass update wait. My laptop has been acting a straight up fool, and I've been dying to get a chapter posted. I will be working on 'Torn' next, so hopefully tomorrow I will be able to get a chapter written or at least started.
I hope everyone had a great holiday. Don't forget to go follow me on twitter (kailabrittFF) for updates and picture edits of my stories. Thanks again for the support on these stories. You guys rock so much. I love my readers, always have wonderful positive feedback, and I appreciate it so very much.
YOU ALL ARE AMAZING !
~Kaila