"I'm goin' out. Look around for any signs of the Governor." Daryl mumbled gruffly. "Your brother's comin' with me."
"Oh..." I said quietly. "Guess that means I'm stayin'."
"Yea, be better if you did. Just in case." He glanced at me.
"Guess so.. Please look out for my brother." I mumbled, leaning against the frame of the cell block door, watching Daryl gear up.
"Sam's capable. But, I will." His voice was cold as he slung the crossbow over his shoulder. "Keep them eyes peeled."
"You, too." I said softly, as he walked toward me. He kissed me quickly on the side of the head, before he headed toward the door. Letting out a small sigh, I watched him go, wishing he wouldn't.
"You be careful while we're gone." Sam's voice hit my ears, and I turned toward him.
"You both watch out for each other." I stepped over to him, giving him a hug. My brother held me tight for a moment, before letting me go.
"We won't be long." He assured, before following behind the love of my life. Watching him disappear through the doorway, I left the cell block room, entering the bigger room to my right. Hershel was sitting at the table, his bible open. His brow was furrowed, and he seemed concerned.
"Hershel?" I raised an eyebrow when he looked up at me. "Everything..okay?"
"Yes." The older man said quietly, but I didn't buy it.
"Really?" I pressed, sitting down in the empty chair across from him.
"I'm worried about Carl." He informed, his voice full of concern.
"The woods." I said knowingly, and he nodded.
"The woods." Hershel repeated.
"Maybe talk to Rick?" I suggested, giving a half shrug.
"I'm going to sit down with him later this evenin' and have a discussion." He replied, closing his bible.
"Carl's a good kid."
"I don't doubt that for a second, but this world... Easily changes people." Hershel explained. "I've seen it happen, so have you."
"This's the third time Daryl's been out. Think he's really gonna find Phillip?" I asked, glancing over at the older man.
"No, because he doesn't want to be found." Hershel shook his head. "Or he's dead."
"You don't believe that, though." I countered, and he smirked.
"Probably not." Hershel admitted, and I shrugged.
"That's fair, I guess. Don't much think so either. He's out there, just... Waitin' for opportunity. Or he's long gone." I said.
"You don't believe he's long gone, though." He had a slight tease to his voice, and I huffed out a half laugh.
"Probably not." I smirked this time. "I'm gonna go find Shay.. Think it's a good idea, by the way. Talkin' to Rick."
"I think so, too." His voice echoed slightly behind me, as I started into the cell block. Stopping in front of Shay's cell, I stuck my head in. She was laying on her back, reading something, but noticed me right away.
"What's up?" She asked, sitting up, tossing her book over to the small end table beside her cell bed.
"Just need to go out for a bit, wanna join?" I asked, watching my best friend stand to her feet.
"Absolutely. It's about time for me to go on watch duty, anyway. I'm taking over for your mother." Her voice expressed how she felt about Katherine, by the way she said "your mother".
"They actually put her on watch duty? They fuckin' idiots?" I grimaced, and she laughed.
"Apparently, she's trying to," Shay put up her hands to symbolize air quotes, "do the right thing."
"Yea, a little too late for that. Should've been doin' the right thing years ago when I needed a mother." I grumbled, trying not to get heated.
"That's very true." Shay agreed, as we walked outside of the prison. "Maybe... Maybe this is her karma."
"How's this karma?" I asked, sneering. "She's got a home, food, protection! Way I see it, she's doin' just fine."
"What I mean, is that she also has her two kids that want nothing to do with her. All the times she didn't protect you, when that was her job, and now she's the one that needs the protection. She wouldn't survive without all of this. You and Sam are the only ones keeping her here. You know Rick would throw her out in a heart beat, all you'd have to do is give him the word. But, that's not on you, that's on her. All that time she spent, letting you two down, and now she's being kept alive by the two people she hurt the most. And that has to sting some. Knowing that the only chance she has of surviving is the two of you." Shay glanced up at the sky. "I'd say that's pretty good karma."
"Never thought of it like that.." I admitted. "Guess it must be fucked up knowin' the tables could've been turned."
"You and Sam aren't like her. You're not cruel people." Shay argued.
"No, but we could've been." I looked over at my best friend, realizing yet again how much I had missed her.
"But you're not. That's why I love you so much. Look at everything, Spence. Everything we've been through since this started. Everything we've seen. We could have wound up like Katherine, or God forbid, even the Governor. Shit like this, the dead eating people... It changes you. It changes everything. The person you are, your morals, your compassion.. Everything that makes you human just dwindles away if you let it."
"We can't let it." I said quietly. "Can't ever be like that, ever. If you lose that, you lose everything. We've fought too damn hard to get this far."
"Shit yeah, we have." Shay agreed, as we stepped up to the makeshift stand that Daryl, Rick, and Glenn had built near one of our exits. Katherine climbed down the small ladder without saying a word to either of us. Ignoring her, I waited for Shay to climb up, before I followed behind.
We sat in silence for a while, and it was nice. After everything that had happened, it was peaceful to have a little quiet. The events that had taken place had happened back to back, giving us no time to breathe. Maggie and Glenn being captured, then Merle dying. Philip attacking the prison, and then finding Andrea. That had been a difficult pill to swallow. Seeing her bitten had made my blood turn to ice, and I had no idea how I was going to get over her death. We had lost too many.
And though it was sad to think, I knew it would just keep happening. People I loved would die, no matter what. Anything could happen, and just because the dead were up walking around didn't mean that other dangers were put on hold. I knew that, but I still tried to keep some hope alive inside of myself. Some hope that we'd all make this place exactly what it felt like. Home. A home that would keep us safe.
Then, there was Daryl Dixon. I had never been in love with someone so much in my entire life. It was crazy to think back to where we first started, to where we were now. The only thing missing was Cheyenne, and I missed that little girl every day. The pain never seemed to go away, you just learned to deal with it somehow.
Daryl, please be careful out there.. I was hoping he'd somehow feel my plea, and hurry home. Dixon being out there was bad enough, and then my brother out there too... At least they were together. And even though I wanted them to kill Philip, a bigger part of me did not want them to run into him. It gave me bad vibes every time Daryl went out.
"They'll be back before you know it." Shay said, glancing at me.
"Yea, I know." I nodded, trying to stay positive. "I'm hopin' this'll be the last time he goes out lookin' for that bastard."
"Don't you want him dead?" Shay asked, her eyes on mine.
"Who don't? But... He ain't like most. He's different, and he's dangerous. Maybe he'll just stay away.. That's what I'm hopin' for, anyway. Daryl and Sam can take care of themselves, I know that. Still, Philip's sneaky and... Brutal, I don't know any other way to say it. I don't want them runnin' into that out there." I explained, trying not to sound as worried as I actually was.
"They'll be fine, Spence. You know they will. They have to be." She said quietly, and I glanced over at her, tilting my head.
"What's that tone all about? You worried about Sam?" I teased, and she looked away.
"Maybe." Shay muttered, and I giggled.
"Are you crushin' on my big brother?" I asked, a smile creeping onto my lips.
"I plead the fifth."
"Oh, my..." I laughed, and she grinned. "Must say, I approve."
"Nice to know I have your blessing." She stated, still grinning. A noise made my head snap up, and I could see Glenn walking toward the watch area.
"Hey, down there!" Shay called, and Glenn waved, climbing up to where we were.
"Rick and Hershel just had a long talk. Rick said that he's going to use the field we cleared to start growing crops. Maybe hit some of the farm land around and try to find pigs. Between that and Daryl's hunting, we should be good to survive here. Food wise, anyway." Glenn explained, and I raised an eyebrow.
"Wow. That's good thinkin'." I agreed. "I'd love some bacon."
"You're horrible." Shay mumbled, and I laughed again.
"Also, Rick wants to set up a council, a sort of system for us. He mentioned getting everyone together as soon as Daryl and Sam get back. I think he's tired, you know. Leading by himself, making all the tough calls." He said quietly.
"I'd say we've been helpin' a lot with those tough calls. Wouldn't you?" I asked, shrugging. "It ain't like one person's ever alone in this. We're all here together. We'll make this work." I spoke surely, and knew my words were true. We would make this place our home.
"I think we're making it work pretty well. Considering everything." Glenn reached over and squeezed my shoulder. "As long as we stick together."
"Well, I ain't goin' nowhere." I looked up at him. "We're family."
"That we are." Glenn nodded, letting go of my shoulder. "They'll be back soon." He added, before climbing down from the post. Soon, yea... But, not soon enough...
Tyreese and Sasha had taken over watch for Shay and I. We left the post and headed back indoors. The only thing on my mind was Daryl and Sam, as I wondered where they were now. If they were safe. They had to be, there was no other option to think about. It would only drive me crazy, and I tried to imagine them safe and sound, watching out for any signs of Philip.
Inside the cell block, I started up the stairs. Others walked around below me, as I continued up to the perch. Passing by it, I walked to the cell that Daryl and I shared, stopping in the doorway. The bed was empty, and I felt my stomach drop at the sight. The only thing I wanted, was for him to be there right now. But he wasn't. He was somewhere out there, and I had no idea where he could be. If he was safe...
"Hey, Spencer." Beth's voice floated through my ears, and I turned, offering her a light smile.
"Hey." I said quietly.
"I think... No, I know, that Daryl will be okay. You know? And he'll take care of Sam, too." She looked up at me with those caring blue eyes. "He's tough."
"Thank you." I needed to hear that.
"I'll see you in the mornin'." Beth said sweetly, before turning back toward the stairs.
"Goodnight." I called softly, before stepping into my cell. Sitting down on the bed, I reached down underneath, grabbing my notebook. I had been writing down things from my past, memories. I didn't want to forget what it was like before the world went to shit. Also, I planned on letting Carl read them. I thought maybe that would help him remember not to lose himself in this world.
Flipping open the notebook, my writing was scribbled down, filling whole pages. I reached a blank page, and pulled the pen from the spiral metal holding the pages together. My mind fluttered back to the past that I had always tried so hard to forget. Despite having a horrible childhood, I did have a few good memories.
'When I was seven, Sam and I had earned five dollars a piece from the lady next door. We swept her porch and watered her plants. I think she heard the fighting, and she must have known. I honestly think she felt sorry for us.
We took our five dollars and waited at the end of the driveway. Our parents weren't home, we figured they were at the bar. It was a Saturday afternoon, the sun shining, the Georgia heat bearing down on us. A hot day.
Before long, we could hear the music. Sam was grinning and I was so excited. We waited a few more minutes, before the ice cream truck finally came into view. It stopped at our driveway, and I gave my money to Sam. We both bought two ice creams, and saved the little change we had left over.
We ran into the woods behind our house, and climbed onto the platform that Sam had built in the trees. He had promised me he'd make us a tree house, but he didn't have the money to build it. So, he had put us a platform up, with a top over it. It was our place to hide when things got really bad at home or when we just wanted to get away.
We sat up there and ate our ice creams, laughing and talking about leaving that house one day. That was the day Sam promised me he'd never leave me alone. He'd never go anywhere without me.'
OH MY GOD. I am so, so, so, so, SO SORRY for making you guys wait so long for an update ! My laptop's been being a douche, so I am experiencing technical difficulties. Luckily, I have 2 laptops to work with, so I am making progress now ! I again apologize so deeply for making you guys wait so long for a chapter. I am going to try and update this story and 'Torn' more now, I mean I have season 4, so no excuses ! Right ?!
Don't forget to find me on Twitter. I post info/promo pics/updates about my stories ! I will be tweeting a photo of Spencer saying goodbye to her brother, so if you want to see Sam, check it out ! My twitter handle is kailabrittFF !
As always, I'd love to give a huge shout out to all my AMAZING readers. Thank you for putting up with my slow updating ass. You guys are just so patient, and so supportive. I appreciate it greatly. Every single READ/REVIEW/FAV/FOLLOW is absolutely mind blowing !
~Kaila