DISCLAIMER: I OWN NO SONG OR CHARACTERS USED
Summary: Love was not part of the plan. Eriol was not supposed to meet Tomoyo. Faith was cruel. Destiny was a bitch. No one can save them from a heartbreak except perhaps, each other. It would take a lifetime before Eriol is free to sweep his angel of her feet. They'll be together even if God doesn't want them to be.
Chapter 4: I Hope You Know What You're Doing
I was sitting in front of the koi pond, calmly waiting for my fuming mate. He probably went over to Touya or my dad. It's kind of nice to sit on the grass, relinquishing in the silence and peace. I watched the pond carefully. Looking over the pond filled with koi, it made me think. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing by choosing to stay with Syaoran. Look at him, he may be good looking but he's not exactly the calmest person in the whole world. Don't get me wrong, I love the man dearly. He's my soulmate in everyway.
"I can't believe this, Sakura."
I had to stifle a laugh. He's so adorable. He grunted while he sits on the rock precariously perch behind me. The garden is sometimes a wonder to me.
"Hm?"
I inquired. Just to humor him. Poor Syaoran always bullied by my brother. Gone were the days that he acts oh so cool and collected. He gets with me and all hell breaks lose, figuratively of course. Don't want to anger the heaven above.
Besides, he's not the only one that changed. I've grown to be a bit more mature. 100 years of existence could do that to you. I gave a safe nod just so he knows I'm listening.
"I can't believe your brother still calls me a Chinese Gaki. You would think after 100 years, he would have accepted me as part of his family."
Oh, it was about my brother. I thought well, I thought he saw something that would really pissed him off. I wanted to laugh. I sauntered a bit to my side, covering a bit of the clear pond. Sometimes in his rage, he completely ignores the stream on the way to our place. Safe for now.
"SAKURA!", He screamed, breaking me from my thoughts
"Hoe?"
"Do you see what I'm seeing?"
He spoke with such seriousness now. He pointed his fingers to the pond. I know perfectly well he's seeing.
Eriol has just made his way to Tomoyo, in the performing arts building of their university. Tomoyo is singing, of course. My charge is really talented. I'm guessing it got his attention because his charge, Eriol, is in the same room. He must have felt the slight difference in the world.
"I know, Syaoran. It can't be helped. Sooner or later, they would meet." I sighed. It was hard business to be a guardian angel. He looks at me deeply. I see a hint of guilt in his eyes and sadness. His eyes reflected mine.
"I realize that, Sakura. But it doesn't have to be now. It could have been later." He also gave a heavy sigh. Syaoran is such a sweet man. He just wants to save them from the pain.
"We knew this was coming, the moment they both decided to go to Tokyo University. We can't exactly go down there to stop them." I admit, I'm frustrated.
"We could just watch them. Hope they make good decisions, and all that. Protect them when we are allowed to, interfere when we are ALLOWED to. Sometimes I wonder what's the point of being a guardian angel when we don't do much guarding."
Amen to that.
"Syaoran, it's God's plan. Don't worry I'm sure when things get messed up, he'll send us down."
I watched as Tomoyo and Eriol eye each other for the first time. I felt Syaoran flicker his gaze towards me. I stare back. We shared the same look as Eriol and Tomoyo, but this time I knew that one thought entered our heads. Gratitude.
We held a moment together. Syaoran approached me. He wrapped his arms around me. I place my head on his shoulders. It was almost sunset in paradise. I looked to the sky. I saw our lives flashed before us.
Flashback
A century and a year ago, Japan was ruled by Yamakawa and China was ruled by Li. Prince Xiaolang was engaged to the only daughter of Yamakawa, Suzuna. I lived in a small village there located in the island of Kyuushu. Tomoeda was my home.
A run away prince entered our village, choosing to enter our Lord's home. They were cousins. I was a servant there. Tomoyo was a peasant as well.
I sat in front of the pond. Similar to our paradise, I was deep in thought, thinking of my family's debt. Lady Hiiragizawa was nice enough to take me in as a servant along with Tomoyo.
"Hey, girl! What are you doing in the gardens?"
A man with chestnut brown hair and amber eyes approached me. I bowed down., knowing full well my place.
"I apologized, sir."
He laughed at me, not in the disdain sort of way but in a humorous one.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering if you know where my cousin is. His fiancé is annoying me for his whereabouts."
I wasn't up to date regarding the run away prince. Therefore, I stared at him, wondering who he was.
"Are you deaf?"
"If I am, kind sir, I wouldn't hear the insult directed my way."
I glared at him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw purple hair flash. Tomoyo. It was followed by blue. Our lord. Without me noticing it, the weird man approached me. He was staring right through me. My emerald orbs met his amber ones
"Intriguing. Do you know who I am?"
He looked at me as if to measure my worth. I may be a servant but I am not and will not be insulted. I will not back down, whoever you are.
"I don't, fortunate for me."
He laughed again. I can't helped but laugh along as well.
"My name is Li Syaoran, mi'lady."
He bowed. Funny how his name is Japanese but his features are more Chinese.
"Kinomoto Sakura, kind sir"
End of Flashback
I fell for him not knowing who he is. But fate and destiny had other plans. God said that we weren't supposed to be together. Syaoran was destined to love Suzuna but for some odd reason, Fate messed up her cards and brought Syaoran to me.
I wouldn't know who I would have loved if Syaoran loved Suzuna. I honestly remember history telling that the Princess Suzuna married a Lord in Tomoeda to make peace China and Japan.
"He's a complete idiot."
Syaoran broke into my thoughts again. He referred to Eriol running but of course it was difficult for me to see. It was hazy. I couldn't see other people below except my charge and people remotely related to her life. Eriol despite our discussion does not have complete relation to Tomoyo therefore my view of him is blurry.
"He shouldn't have gone there! He could have just walked passed that building. He wouldn't need to run like that if he just avoided it. He's nuts just because Tomoyo is a beautiful girl with the voice of an angel doesn't give him the right to be there."
I sighed. Sometimes being a watcher is difficult. Even more so when these people share the same twisted destiny as us. Guilt consumed me.
"She needs it, Syaoran."
It was all I could say as I watched Tomoyo held on to a few tears. She tries so hard to keep it all in. She really didn't deserve this pain. She was my sister then and my sister now. I find myself wishing that I live again to be with her, just like her.
Night entered. I was still sitting comfortably beside Syaoran. Time flickers fast as we watch them interact with each other. I heard Syaoran laughed.
"He's practically digging his grave."
I knew that he could hear his thoughts, so I really couldn't say otherwise. I laughed as well as I watched their playful banter.
"Tomoyo can really pack a punch then and now."
He nodded. It was really funny watching them "flirt with each other". Nakuru was still classic Nakuru.
"It's nice to be watching the same thing."
He kissed my forehead in agreement. Sometimes Syaoran is really something else. He can be a temper but then he'll always put me first.
"Have you ever thought what would have been if we listened to God?"
I left the comfort of his arms as I stared at him. His eyes questioned me.
"Today? Or back then?"
I laughed lightly. I replied, "We can talk about today tomorrow. I mean, back then."
He smiled. He knows why I asked this now not before. After 100 years, Tomoyo and Eriol have finally been reincarnated. We were specifically chosen to be their guardians. More like we insisted. It was our chance to make it up to them for everything they did to keep me and Syaoran together.
"I would be with Suzuna, grieving for you but eventually falling in love with her. Because God wills it."
He sounds completely serious. I think my face spelled sadness. I couldn't really imagine life without Syaoran, probably because I wouldn't know. I never tried or was given a chance to do so.
He suddenly lied down on the grass placing his arms under his head as pillows.
"To be honest with you, Sakura, I've thought of this through. I think God in some weird twisted way, knew Fate messed up. I think he knew that we would fall in love, that I would run from Suzuna. I think he willed this to happened because he said so himself we are soulmates. So maybe 100 years ago wasn't our time. Maybe he didn't want us to be together then because it was going to cause a war, an imbalance. He wanted what happened, Sakura. At least, he didn't have to plan for 100 years more for us."
He did have a point. Who could interfere with God? For all I know, God willed this. He knows and sees all. I bet he had good reasons for everything.
"Guess so, but I wish that it didn't have to end the way it did."
Looking back at how, Tomoyo became my sister in law and Eriol the ruler of China and Japan. And we just ran away together.
"Think about it this way, Tomoyo and Eriol would be in our place now and we will be in theirs. Right now, we could make this right."
I smiled. He was right. I hugged my knees while Syaoran stares at the sky. I bet it's flashing the same thing as the pond I was staring at.
Eriol has just entered the scene as Tomoyo peacefully let out her sorrows. He gave her his handkerchief, watching her cry. I bet he's wishing that he could be there for her. He was clueless as to what was happening. I glanced at Syaoran's figure on the grass. His eyes was close, he's probably listening to Eriol's thoughts and his words.
Tomoyo and Eriol were sitting on the bench near the performing arts building. They were simply talking but Tomoyo seems to lighten up. I could feel and hear her thoughts relaxing. She's happy. I held a small smile. I'm happy for her. She found her comfort.
I held my breath. I saw something out of the corner of the pond. Far away from what was happening, I saw Tomoyo's mother in the hospital. Her uncle was there. He was paying the medical bills. In another vision, I saw her father coursing the streets of Tokyo. I recognized the scenery. He was headed for Tokyo University.
It was weird how I managed to see all this. Sometimes I'm not used to being a guardian. Flicking from different sights so often. I gasped as I saw her dad approached the pair. Syaoran reassuringly held my hand. I glanced at him, worry etched on my face. He gave me a smile of encouragement.
The conversation was going well. It was time to separate our visions again. Eriol was headed home. It will be a lighter weight on Syaoran. His only problem is Eriol's thoughts straying to Tomoyo.
I, on the other hand, have to deal with Tomoyo and her complicated life. It was so unfair that it has to be this way.
I watched Tomoyo sit on the car with her dad. Praying that, it wouldn't turn out so bad.
"Kazuma is at the hospital taking care of Sonomi. We are going there."
Tomoyo nodded in agreement. She really doesn't want to talk about anything to him. She would much rather take a bus going to her mother at the hospital.
"I'm really sorry, Tomoyo. If only I was stronger, I-
She turned to face him. Her face was burning with sorrow and anger. She won't cry.
"You wouldn't have left me? Right now, Yamakawa-san, you are nobody to me. You left me and mom. You have no right to be here. I'm only doing this for my mother alone and not for you."
I watched the man sigh. He was a mess.
"Tomoyo-
She winced at her name coming from his lips.
-I love your mother and you. I left you to protect you from the mess that is my family."
She stares at the road up ahead. She calmed herself, choosing to deal with it as her mom said she should, maturely. I know she wished she could just run. She didn't know any better. Her mom did and she should have been here instead of him.
"Your father and brother are nothing more than selfish businessmen. I ran to you because your father took everything from my mother just when she needed the money. You all are heartless. You never once thought of a woman with failing health."
I felt tears stained my face. Syaoran wrapped his arms around me. Lulling me to stay calm. Her father stopped the car once parked at the hospital. He faced her while Tomoyo stared right back, as if daring him.
"I would give anything and everything to make this all go away. I know, I made it seem like we don't have choice but my father took revenge on Sonomi because I ran away from him. I didn't want to head the company. I wanted to be an artist. Being with Sonomi made me capable of that. I was able to perform and write songs. I even dabbled on designing. Sonomi wanted nothing more than to take over the Daidouji company to bring more joy to children."
She challenged him.
"So? Why didn't you stay?"
"Because 7 years ago, I knew what my father was capable of. I knew that if I stayed he wouldn't leave you alone. Kazuma never married. He immersed himself in work, telling my father that it was a waste of money to have a heir. But he wants one to continue the legacy. He took you."
Tomoyo refused to understand. She refused to give in to him. Who would? People like them made me wish that God could struck them down with lightning.
"I don't give a damn about Yamakawa empire. I only care about my mother. As far as I'm concerned, I do this for her and her alone. You are a stranger from then on."
She stepped out of the car choosing to slam the door to prove her point. I watched her father sigh. I knew he didn't have a choice in the matter as well.
I hear Tomoyo's thoughts. I lay my head on the palm of my hands while Syaoran rested his chin on my shoulder.
"I feel like I sold myself to those bastards. Please God, if you're listening, make my mother ok."
I was listening but is God listening? I wouldn't know.
Flashback
"Don't die on me Sakura."
I couldn't breathe anymore. I wanted to do what he says but I don't know if I can.
"Syaoran, it's my time. Please."
Yue and Kero were already there waiting for me. I looked at them. I knew that they would give anything to take my pain away. I was dying of an unknown disease. Kero, my guardian angel was helpless. Yue couldn't look at his own charge. He was a mess, wearing his traditional Chinese outfit, running from a wedding. Tomoyo held onto Eriol on my right. She was crying.
"You're her guardian, Cereberus. How could you watch her like this?"
He was screaming at Kero. I held on to his, begging him to stop. I heard Yue speak.
"Xiaolang, this wouldn't have happened if you chose to marry Suzuna. God already offered to take this pain away. He offered to make you forget this ever happened."
He was about to cry. He couldn't do anything.
"You think I can say yes to that? I love Sakura. I couldn't very well go without her."
Kero went to Syaoran. He placed his nose on his knees while he kneels on my bed side. I'm sorry Syaoran.
"I know that, Xiaolang."
Just then, a blinding light came before us. A girl with red hair appeared. She had wings similar to Yue. A lion similar to Cereberus appeared as well. The girl spoke
"God presents a deal, Yue."
I noticed how she looks at Tomoyo and Eriol. They weren't bothered by the appearance of the girl and the cat. It seems like they knew them.I heard Tomoyo speak
"Ruby Moon said that if Eriol marries Suzuna in place of Syaoran then unity would be achieved. Eriol is next in line for the Li Kingdom so it wouldn't matter. Eriol will take Syaoran's place as Suzuna's love.I would marry Touya and place my love over to him, as if Eriol never existed. Because it's the only way to fix what is already broken."
I look at Syaoran. I couldn't speak anymore. I wanted to tell them no. I wanted to tell them that Syaoran and me are soulmates. We'll be together in the next life. I couldn't take away what was already planned for them. I could tell Syaoran didn't want that too.
I heard Eriol say, "Tomoyo and I, according to Spinel Sun, are working according to God's design. I was supposed to leave Kaho for her all along. She was supposed to meet me in that festival."
Yue replied, "You were but Fate and Destiny messed up with these two. God shouldn't expect you to take responsibility for this."
I noticed how Ruby Moon was agreeing with Yue. I noticed how Tomoyo looked like she already made up her mind. Ruby Moon didn't want her to go live another life.
"We've been together for long. If I'm correct, by God's design we will meet again. I would love her all over again."
Syaoran interjected. He was refusing this like me. "But Eriol, how sure are you that Destiny and Fate won't mess up."
I saw Eriol shake his head, "I'm not but I know that I would love Tomoyo the moment I see her again."
Tomoyo was crying. She was holding on to Eriol.
"I love, Eriol. I do but we both agreed that Syaoran and Sakura deserved a chance at happiness because we got ours. You weren't in the plan. You didn't have a fighting chance unlike us. We want to give you that. Besides like Eriol said, we are planned. The future might be expecting our union, who knows. All I know is, Eriol and I are lucky so it's time to give back that gift as well it should"
I looked at Syaoran, willing him with my eyes to stopped this madness.
Spinel Sun turned to me and said, "Sakura, you and Xiaolang will leave this place. Elope. Your health will be restored. You will forget this matter, all of you. Eriol and Tomoyo have decided. You will have no recollection of whatever happened, only memories of love. God will return your memories when he sees it fit to do so."
He turned to address each one in the room.
"Guardian angels have no say in what our charge decides on. Our ultimate goal is to present them option on what they can do depending on what God said. Each choice comes with a price but God will never let you be miserable for long. Ruby Moon and I approached Eriol and Tomoyo because of the circumstances faced by their friends. We gave them this option. We didn't force it on them. They chose this forthemselves."
His eyes flickered to Syaoran. A silent statement was shared between the two. Yue was on guard as well. The three knew what they were saying.
I felt the side of my bed moved. Tomoyo knelt beside me.
"Sakura, find your happiness now. I love you. Take care of yourself."
I saw Eriol moved to Syaoran. "Make her happy, Syaoran"
He nodded. He held on to my hand, knowing we had a future together.
There was of blinding light. Everybody's face faded away. I closed my eyes preparing to sleep, not knowing if I died or just gone to another life.
End of Flashback
When I woke up, I was married to the Prince of the Li Kingdom. I could only recall how we met and fell in love. No Eriol and No Tomoyo. I remember that I left Tomoeda right after Tomoyo married Touya. Syaoran told me that his cousin married Suzuna. He told me our problems were solved.
I remember waking up like there was a nagging feeling inside me. My head would always tell me to find my happiness. I did. I stayed and loved Syaoran.
God returned our memories when Eriol and Tomoyo were born. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun, relinquish their duty as guardian angels, saying that it was their time to live again. God passed it to us.
So if anyone asked me about God's plan.I honestly don't know anything but I hope he knows what he's doing.
I finished a chapter dedicated to Sakura and Syaoran. I admit, the flashbacks can leave one hanging so let me know if you want a separate story for the SS love story that led to It Will Rain, because I have an idea but I'm not sure if I should create one.