A/N: I am so sorry this took me so long. I am really having a hard time with the story right now and I don't want to skip ahead but I might have to. Currently fielding any and all suggestions for upcoming chapters. My brain is mush, sometimes it needs a little poke to get moving.

"Adam your phone is ringing."

"Mmm."

"It's loud."

"Mmm."

"You're on call."

"It's too early."

"Then you shouldn't have gotten yourself field rated and decided to go back to school at the same time."

He groaned and rolled over.

"A doctorate is just a few extra letters after my name, I would rather a few extra hours of sleep."

"Babe, please get your phone," Lindsay sighed, pulling the pillow over her head.

He rubbed his eyes and took the phone off the stand, answering it and sighing at the early hour. He'd been up until midnight studying in a way he hadn't since college, and while sleep had come easily, Avery had crawled into their bed just an hour later and spent the next twenty minutes fighting sleep by telling them a story about space ponies.

Jo gave him the address of the crime scene and he wrote it down on the pad of paper next to the bed, promising that he would be there as soon as he could.

"You gotta go?"

"Yeah. I'll call and let you know when I'll be home."

"Okay. Be safe."

"I will. I love you."

"Love you too."

He leaned down to kiss her just as Avery woke again, yawning and rubbing at her eyes.

"It is morning?" she asked, sitting up and pushing her hair out of her eyes. "Oh daddy, where are you going to?"

"I have to go to work. Stay here and get some more sleep."

"I want to go with you!" she said with a grin. "Can I?"

"Not today. Stay here and cuddle with mama. Someone should."

"Alright, I will cuddle her most big for you."

"Thanks Tink. Be a good girl today."

"Oh yes, I am a good girl all days. You be a good boy at work."

He chuckled.

"I will."

He kissed them both again and headed into the bathroom, leaving them to snuggle up in the middle of the bed.

"Mama?" Avery yawned after a moment. "I growed inside your belly?"

"Yes, you did."

"An' the boys?"

"They did too."

"That is strange. I have a question."

"I hope I have an answer."

Avery cleared her throat and twisted a strand of hair around her finger before she started.

"Babies grow inside their mama's bellies. All babies do. So that means that Becca growed inside her mama's belly. An' I got to thinking. If she growed inside her mama's belly, why does she not have her mama now?"

Lindsay sucked in a breath and held it for a moment, completely taken by surprise by this line of questioning. She was more prepared for the birds and the bees talk than she was for this.

"That's a pretty big question for this early in the morning."

"Oh, you are right. Perhaps I will keep the question for later. Just tell me if you know the answer."

"I know the answer, Averylin. But I don't understand it."

"That means it's a grown up thing, an' it will be a long story. Yes, best to wait for later. After I come from school?"

"Austin's picking you up today," Lindsay yawned. "I've got to go to work after I drop you off."

"I get a day with mine Austin? How fabulous!"

"It will be even more fabulous if you're not tired out of your gourd."

"That means snooze scruffy."

Lindsay smiled and kissed her daughter gently. She wouldn't being going back to sleep this morning; she'd be too busy silently screaming about the injustices that left a tiny, sick child in a crib all the way on the other side of the world.

"We're not going to get prints off of any of this stuff," Jo grumped, surveying the stuffed animals that had spilled out of their shipping boxes onto the floor of the store's stockroom.

"Hey, we might not need to," Adam assured, taking a few last photographs of the area. "I'm thinking that the toys were spilled afterwards. Nothing seems to be under the body, no blood spray on anything either."

"But if they fell after the murder, what made them fall?"

Adam glanced over at her, noting the bags under her eyes and the furrow in her brow. It wasn't like her to think so inside the box and he wanted to explain what he was thinking, but he wasn't sure she would even be able to pay attention right now. Clearly she was in serious need of a day off.

"We'll gather them all anyway, just in case. Any ID on the vic?"

Flack yawned and flipped his notebook open.

"Amanda Benzie, 23. She works part time at the store while she goes to school."

"Works graveyards?"

"Yeah. Her coworkers didn't know about any trouble she was having, but there's only two other people on the clock right now. The manager will be in any minute."

"When did they find her?"

"About an hour ago. She'd come to the stock room to start putting out a shipment of stuff, and neither one of them saw her after that. They said they only had a few customers in the store and that the front door doesn't have anything that rings when someone comes in."

"Looks like we'll need to get security tapes then."

"I'm on it. Their system is old, takes a long time to queue up."

Adam nodded and began his mental checklist of things to do before he could start moving things around and gathering evidence. He'd been working in the field for years on and off, but to take on the responsibility of actually being rated was a bigger deal, and he was afraid of making a mistake that could set the entire course of the investigation off in the wrong direction.

Sid arrived a few minutes later, and after he'd made his own notes, they worked together to removed the stuffed animals from the body and bag each one separately. It would be a lot to take back to the lab, but it was necessary to be thorough.

"Looks like she was strangled from the front," Sid said, inspecting the tell-tale marks. "Handprints here. Face to face."

Adam gulped and took a photo of the area. There was a reason that he preferred the lab to the field, and that reason was laying before him right now, eyes closed, breath having left her body a long time ago. He tried not to think about it but every time he blinked, all he could see was one of the kids in a state similar to this, perishing because of someone else. Rebecca's mortality had been more at the forefront of their minds from the beginning, not only because of her precarious health, but because of her current state of living. It wasn't that he could easily accept the end of her life as much as the fact that it was more commonly possible. The other three kids had always been so far from ill health and most dangers that he'd never really thought about them in a situation like this. Ever since Rebecca, things had changed.

"Manager's here," Jess said quietly, poking her head into the room. "Don, I'm going to need your help."

"Can't handle it?"

"This is his daughter."

A silence descended on the room and no one moved for just a moment as the information sunk in. Jo was the first to break the silence, clearing her throat and crouching down by the body, shaking her head and whispering something no one else could hear.

This was going to be a very long day.

"Honey, aren't you going to watch the security tapes?"

Adam looked up from the magnifying glass and glanced at Lindsay, giving her a shrug.

"They'll still be there in a minute."

"It might show who the killer is, Adam. We need that as soon as possible."

"I don't want to see her last moments, and I don't want to see it happen, okay?"

Lindsay nodded and finished logging the evidence, then walked around the light table, running her hand down his back while kissing him softly.

"I'll do it. You alright?"

"Not enough sleep."

She nodded and squeezed his wrist before grabbing the box of security tapes off the counter and heading for the other room.

He'd been quiet all morning, and while she could chalk it up to being tired, and having spent the morning at a crime scene, she knew there was something more just under the surface. She'd arrived at work just as he and Jo had returned to the lab with the evidence, and while Jo had seemed somber, Adam was acting downright curmudgeonly. She didn't want to push him, but at the same time, she knew that the longer he kept it inside, the worse it would be when it finally leaked out.

Yawning, she rubbed at her eyes while the DVD ran at double speed through the few hours before the murder. She was able to keep an eye on the screen without nodding off, a surprising feat considering that all three kids had been piled in the bed with her when she finally woke up for good. Colton had been laying across the foot of the bed snoring while Avery was snuggled up to her and Ben lay with one skinny leg thrown over her calves. She wasn't sure why they gravitated upstairs when Adam left at all hours, and she wasn't sure if they were getting too old for such things, but she figured if it made them feel better, then there was no problem with it.

Rolling her neck, she slowed the tape down for the hour leading up to the murder, pausing it when Flack came in, holding a sketch.

"Seen anyone that looks like this?" he asked, holding it out for her.

"Not so far. Why?"

"This guy is a regular customer at the store," he explained. "Amanda's father said this guy was bothersome, would hang around the store for hours like everyone there was his best friend. At first it was okay, just irritating, but over the last month or so, Amanda had started to complain about it. She said this guy kept asking her out, offering to pay for new clothes for her, then getting upset when she refused."

"Sounds like he could be dangerous."

"Neither one of the employees working last night saw him come in or leave, but it's very possible they could have missed him."

"It looks like they stay pretty steady through the night," Lindsay noted. "Not busy but there always seems to be a customer or two in the store."

"Keep an eye out. This is your copy."

He left the sketch with her and she glanced at it briefly before going back to the screen. It seemed that a 24-hour market was a magnet for crazy people, and had she not been looking for a murderer, she would have been laughing at the antics of some of the patrons. At one point, an intoxicated woman sat on the floor in the middle of the aisle and seemed to sing to herself, until one of the employees helped her to her feet and back out the door.

She was getting closer and closer to the time of death when it finally happened. Amanda was coming out of the backroom and was flagged down by a customer who had his head down and a hat on. A short conversation followed and Amanda went into the backroom. She didn't notice that the man had caught the door before it closed, nor that he had followed her. Lindsay sat tensely for ten minutes, watching the door and wishing she had a better angle on the security window in it. Finally the man emerged, keeping his head down as he ran off in the direction of the front door. Lindsay pulled the video back to the start of the interaction and watched it once more before she picked up the phone and dialed Jo's desk.

"Hey. I think I've got something. Did you guys happen to find a hat at the scene?"

Finding the baseball hat among the evidence and swabbing it for DNA had been easy. Lindsay had noticed that the killer, whoever he was, had gone into the backroom behind Amanda, wearing a hat, but had returned without out. It must have been knocked off in the struggle.

Adam was across the room, still brooding and processing evidence while she ran the DNA through the automated machine and waited for markers to pop up. Flack and Jess were out tracking down the problem customer and Lindsay was hoping to have a complete DNA profile to compare him to when they brought him in. While the machine worked, she watched Adam out of the corner of her eye, hoping that his movements would give her some clue as to what was wrong with him. She hated when he got like this, knowing it usually ended with the two of them arguing. There was too much stress right now, she didn't need to bicker with her husband on top of it. Sighing, she stood up from the machine and walked over to him, standing close until he looked up.

"What's the matter?"

"In a funk."

"What kind of funk?"

"It's just been a long day."

She reached over and slid one arm around him, whishing she could take him out of here for a little while.

"You want to tell me about it? I've got a while until that DNA is ready, and you're in need of a break."

"Yeah."

He secured the evidence he'd been working on in the safe and she made sure the DNA machine was locked before they left the room and made their way to the darkened hallway, which had been the location of many private conversations over the years. Lindsay leaned against the wall and Adam paced back and forth for a moment before he said anything, finally coming to stand beside her.

"I don't know what it is about this case, Linds. Can't stop thinking about the kids, wondering if they're safe. I'm frustrated about how slow the adoption process is going and I'm afraid something is going to happen to Rebecca before we can get there."

"I am too."

"I don't know why it's hitting me today."

"Because a year ago we were in Phoenix."

His breath left him in a whoosh and she reached out for his hand, pulling him into a hug.

"I'm sorry babe."

"I can't believe I didn't remember."

"It crept up on us. Maybe you should call your sister tonight, take her out to dinner or something."

"Yeah. Might help."

They stood there for a while longer, quietly and not needing to discuss anything more at this point. All she could do was be there for him, the rest didn't need to be overanalyzed.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm going to get back to work, but why don't you take a little bit and call your dad?"

"Thanks."

She kissed his cheek and left him alone in the hallway, hoping that was enough to get him through the rest of the day. By the time she returned to the lab, the DNA machine was beeping and she punched in her code so the report would print out.

"Hey, where'd Adam go?" Jo asked, poking her head in the room.

"He's taking a break."

"Will he be back soon? Flack brought the guy in, I thought Adam might want to sit in on the interrogation with me."

"He might. If you're leaving now I'll send him over when he gets back."

"I wasn't going to leave just yet. Got the DNA report for me?"

Lindsay nodded and handed the paper over, leaning back in her chair and wondering if Adam would be okay to sit in on an interrogation today or not. He'd only been a part of a few and he was still finding his footing, but he wasn't going to refuse no matter how he felt about it. She briefly considered not telling him at all, but that could backfire on so many levels. Better just to wait and let him make the choice himself.

He returned a few minutes later and agreed to go with Jo and sit in on the interrogation. Barring a DNA match they didn't have much on this guy, but he needed to be questioned anyway, and he was the only suspect they had so far. Lindsay watched as Adam walked to the elevator and she bit her lip, hoping he would be okay.

Two hours later found Adam pacing the darkened office that Lindsay shared with Danny, cracking his knuckles, each snap like a small shout of rage. Lindsay had tried to get out of him what had happened but so far he'd just walked and muttered to himself. She was getting worried and thought about calling Jo for some information when Adam finally slammed one fist into the palm of his other hand, breathing hard.

"He did it, you know. Admitted it with some big sob story about how she refused all his advances with all these excuses and he just wanted her to shut up so he could tell her how he felt."

"So he had a psychotic break?"

"I don't know. I don't care. Because no matter what happened or why, she's still dead and her father is making funeral arrangements."

He flopped down on the couch wearily and she moved from her desk to join him, pulling her legs up underneath her and taking his hand.

"It's not easy, I know."

"It's not supposed to be easy because it's not supposed to happen. Did we really bring kids into this world and not think twice about what it would be like?"

"Hey, Adam stop it. Listen to me, I know this is hard and I know that it makes you question everything, but don't start thinking we did our kids a disservice by creating them. We said we would raise them to be the good in the world, didn't we?"

"They shouldn't have to see the bad."

"I know."

He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees and his voice dropping so low that he almost couldn't hear it.

"It's not fair that our daughter is thousands of miles away and there's nothing we can do about it. Amanda died this morning in a place that was supposed to be safe and there is nothing her father can do about it. I can't accept that."

"I can't either. But it doesn't matter if we accept it or not. It happens. At the end of the day we have to know that we've done our best. Adam, we're going to get there. We're going to see our daughter and bring her home and give her a wonderful life."

"I know."

"For right now, let's go home."

"Linds…"

"The case is over, there's nothing left to finish up. You've put in a full day and then some, and I've put in enough that I can leave and feel okay about it. Let's go be with the kids."

He nodded and she slid into his lap, holding him tightly and trying to silently let him know how much she loved him.

"We'll make it, babe."

"I know."

"Let's go home."

They stood up from the couch and gathered their things, passing by layout to let Danny know they were leaving. The car ride home was quiet, hands joined on the console between them. They stopped off quickly to pick up the kids, who brought chatter and noise into the car with them, breaking into the somberness of the day. It brought some levity to their moods and by the time they arrived home, they were in much better spirits.

The five of them made dinner together, music up loud in the kitchen as they set about their various tasks. The conversation around the dinner table was happy and full of laughter as the kids related stories about their day. Once everything was cleaned up and put away, the boys started in on their homework, while Avery used the computer for a reading game. By bedtime, Adam's mood from before had dissipated greatly and he felt a little more like himself. He took a moment to bid the boys goodnight, making sure to set the timer by their beds so they would know when it was time to stop reading and go to bed. It wasn't until he was tiptoeing across the hallway that he realized why Lindsay had left bedtime duty up to him tonight. It would be the best way to settle himself before trying to sleep.

"Hey Averylin. Time for sleep."

Avery nodded, loose curls bouncing on her shoulders as she put the book aside and climbed under the covers. Adam knelt down next to the bed and reached over to stroke his hand down her cheek, taking a moment to look into her eyes, feeling like maybe he could find some kind of hope there.

"Why the long face, little buckaroo?" she asked, reaching over to rub his arm. "I love you so most daddy."

"I love you too Tink."

"What is the matter?"

"It was just a long day."

"Did something bad happen at work? You look sad."

"I was just thinking about you growing up. Thinking about all the bad things that you'll see in your life. Reconsidering ever letting you out of the house."

"Oh daddy," she chuckled. "You're very silly."

"I just don't want your heart to break."

"Oh, you mean like from a boy. Well daddy, boys is gross. I do not like them much, 'cept for my buddy Nicholas, but he has a girlfriend in our class anyway. I do not like playing with boys much, but if I gotta, I will pick my brothers and Daniel. They are not gross like the rest."

"Oh, I see."

She reached over and patted his hand reassuringly.

"Do not fret, daddy. I keep my heart safe and not broked."

"I hope so."

She nodded and wrinkled her nose, tipping her head to the side.

"Daddy, did your heart ever get breaked?"

"A time or two. But then time went on and it wasn't as bad as I thought."

"You did not ever break a heart did you?"

"I hope not."

"Good. I would not want to know that you have breaked mama's heart. Or I would have to be very upset with you. An' I don't want to do that."

"I do my very best not to break mama's heart."

"Want to know what happened to me today?"

"Of course," he laughed, loving the sound of her voice and the way she could move from one subject to the next as if she'd planned out the whole conversation.

"Today there was a boy in my class that is mean. He is called Devon. An' I have veggies for a snack today and he was mean because of saying that veggies was gross. An' I real like my veggies and I told him that, straight up."

"Straight up, huh?"

"Yes. An' he said I was not a real kid because real kids do not eat veggies because they are healthy and I said that veggies was food and food is most good and he should shut his yapper."

"Oh Aves."

"Austin picked me up today and I told that story to her and she reminded me that I dip my veggies in cheesy sauce so it is not that healthy anyway. So the next day I have school I will tell him about that, me and my cheese."

"You sure love cheese."

"Yes, very most. The same way mama loves cereal. Hey daddy, maybe someday me an' mama could make a cheese cereal."

"That would be disgusting."

"We would love it."

He laughed and got up from the floor, leaning over to hug her tightly.

"I love you, Averylin Grace."

"I love you too, daddy."

"Sleep good."

"Okay. Gimme some kisses."

He obliged happily and she reciprocated, placing a loud smacking kiss on his cheek.

"You sleep well, daddy. Cuddle with mama and relax. Lord knows you need it."

"You're very smart, Tink. Go to sleep."

He kissed her once more and shut off the light, awaiting the day when both of his daughters would be here to kiss goodnight.