"Hey Isa, do you get the feeling we're a little too old for this?"

Isa laughed and nodded, glancing down at the bins full of one dollar miscellany. The younger kids were happy to pick out a handful of things to take with them on the plane to California, but Colton would be happy with books and all Isa really needed was music.

"I think it will be fun for all of us to go on vacation together," Colton mused, looking over the small disc that would turn into a washcloth when allowed to soak in hot water. "I like that we get to do that sometimes and California will be really fun. Are you looking forward to it?"

Isa shrugged.

"Sure, I guess."

He cocked his head to the side in question and followed her around the small store until they found a quiet corner where no one was shopping, next to the fake flowers.

"I don't really want to see my cousin Dallas," she confessed quietly, looking at a satin rose. "I don't like her anymore."

"What happened? Was this when you went to visit last year?"

"Dallas told me some stuff, about my ma and uncle Andy when they were kids. It was really big stuff and I didn't know and it's not her fault really, but she acted like it was no big deal. She didn't laugh about it really, but it just felt like… she didn't really care. It wasn't even worth anything to her. I thought she was so cool, Colt. But she kind of scares me. I used to want to be like her so much but after all that I realized… she's too wild."

"Is, what exactly did she tell you? And why do you think she's wild?"

"You swear you won't tell any of this?"

"I swear."

"She smokes a lot. And I know she's an adult now, but if she wasn't sneaking then she wouldn't climb out her bedroom window and do it on the roof after everyone goes to bed. And then she… you really swear you won't tell?"

"Is, I swear on everything."

"She let me have a cigarette. It was so, so gross and I will never ever do it again, I promise. But when I was sitting there trying not to cough I kept thinking that someone who is supposed to love me and take care of me shouldn't give me something so awful. Even if I wanted it, right? Like would you ever give something like that to Aves?"

"No."

"She was just trying to get me to like her more or something. Do you think I'm horrible, Colt?"

"Nah. I think it would be really hard to say no in that situation, no matter how much you wanted to say no."

"You know she's in college right?"

"Yeah, I think so."

She sighed and bit her lip, taking a moment to glance around the store. All the adults were occupied with the other kids for the time being and she turned back to Colton, looking up into his eyes.

"So one night we snuck out of the house and she took me to a party."

"What kind of party? Like the kind my aunt Hannah gets into trouble at?"

"Probably so. Nothing bad happened there but Colt, I was barely eleven then. I shouldn't have been there. It makes me feel so weird when I think about it. I don't know why I went."

"I'm glad nothing happened and that you're safe."

"There's one more thing."

"Seriously?"

"She told me… it's so awful, I can't even say it."

"Is, just tell me," he whispered, yanking her down another aisle as Sarah caught sight of the flowers they were standing next to."

"Ugh, I can't tell you this while we're standing next to… feminine hygiene products!" she stage-whispered, wrinkling her nose.

"Oh brother. Here look we'll stand next to Q-Tips. Now just tell me."

"She said that when my ma was little, she said that my grandpa Jack used to hit her. A lot. Like how that guy hit your dad. She said it was so bad that my ma almost died at least once. She called grandpa Jack a whole bunch of really awful things, but I think she liked saying the words a whole heck of a lot and she didn't really mean them that way. No one ever told me that, not even my ma. And…"

She looked up at him, her brow screwing into wrinkles of disapproval.

"You already knew this didn't you Colt?"

"Well-"

"You knew? You knew and you didn't even tell me? I'm your best friend!"

"Is-"

"How long did you know?"

He swallowed a few times; she would know in an instant if he was lying.

"Since I came back after I got taken."

"You've known for five years?! You lied to me for five years Colton! You're supposed to be my best friend! We're supposed to tell each other everything and never ever lie! I don't trust you anymore!"

"Isa wait, I can explain!"

"I hate you, Colton Ross! I really, really hate you!"

She turned on her heel and ran out of the store, Austin taking off after her while Colton stood still, unsure of what to do. He waited for a few minutes then crossed to the door, peeking out to find Isa wrapped in her mothers arms, halfway down the block. He wanted to go to her and make everything okay, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't change the truth and he couldn't make it easier for her to swallow. All he could do was give her some time.

"An' Ben, daddy said there is teacups that you sit in and they spin!" Avery announced, gently folding her clothes and putting them into her suitcase. "There are so many, many rides and things to do at Disneyland. He told me that when he was just a young child like us, he got to go to there with his cousins. And he said that it was so much fun and he couldn't wait to take his own kids there someday. That means us! Daddy dreamed of this way before he was even a daddy. How awesome is that?"

"It's pretty cool, sissy. I thought it was funny that he measured all of us today to make sure we could go on all the rides. It's a good thing you had that growth spurt last month!"

"Yep. Oh man, I am so excited for Splash Mountain. Daddy said we can get our picture taken on it when we go down! And he said I could sit in the front of the boat thing."

"I will sit right behind you and we'll make really funny faces at the camera, how about that?"

"Great! Mama talked of one day you boys will drive to Legoland and us girls will go to the zoo. So for one day you and me will be apart."

"Yeah, that's okay. Maybe we could get each other stuff from the giftshops."

"Maybe! Mama also said that we could go to the beach one day. Our whole family loves the beach so, so most."

"I'm really lookin' forward to this trip, sissy. I think it will be oodles of fun."

Avery laughed and zipped up her suitcase.

"Oodles and oodles and oodles. I just wish we could take Thomas with us. She will be happy here stayin' with Mac and Jo, but I will miss her."

"I bet they will spoil her rotten, just like Jo-Jo does for us."

"Yep."

"Can I just ask you one question?"

"Yep."

"Why are you all packed now? We don't leave for a week!"

"I am prepared in case mama and daddy is surprising us with going earlier than they said."

"Ooh, maybe they would do that! I'd better go put my bag together too! Come help!"

They ran across the hallway to the boys room where Colton had his nose buried in a book.

"We're packin' our vacation bags just in case mama and daddy were teasing us about when we leave," Ben explained, tossing his suitcase onto his bed. "You wanna pack too Cole?"

"Nah, I'll hedge my bets."

"What are you readin'?"

"Wildwood."

"Again? I really like the pictures in this one. What part are you at?"

"When Prue is flying with the eagle."

"Ooh, that part is exciting! Read it to me!"

Avery climbed up onto the bed next to him, snuggling into his side while he read and Ben packed his suitcase. Once he was done he clambered onto the end of the bed to listen, letting the cat sit in his lap.

"Hey kids, mama and I are going to leave for a bit."

"How long is a bit?" Ben asked, running to the door to poke his head out.

"An hour or so. We need to pick up some stuff for the trip. Are you all okay staying here alone?"

"Sure daddy we'll be fine. Bring back ice-cream for us but don't fight over the flavors okay?"

"Okay."

"Lock the door!"

The kids were left alone and Avery's eyes flashed with mischief.

"Okay then boys, what shall we get up to?"

"I don't think a bird flew into the window, do you?"

Adam chuckled softly and rolled onto his side.

"I very highly doubt it. It's more likely that Avery broke the window somehow and the boys concocted the story because they hate to see her get into trouble."

"I don't know if we should rehash the whole thing and punish them for lying, or if we should let it go in the name of sibling relations."

"I vote let it go for now. We can always whip it out if we need it for leverage later."

"Are we plotting against our kids?" Lindsay asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Maybe so."

They slipped into silence; it was the most talking they had done in weeks, even counting their trip to the store earlier. They weren't fighting, they were just very wary of each other and their emotions, and that coupled with hundreds of things to do to get ready for the trip was causing a gentle rift between them. It seemed that life just kept throwing things their way, things that they had to deal with and hold onto, despite the fact that they would rather just drop most of it and focus on each other.

"Adam?"

"Hmm?"

"I know it sounds selfish and whiny, but I really, really don't want to go on this trip."

He scooted a little closer and placed his hand on her stomach, leaning down to kiss her temple. The affection nearly sent a shock wave through her, and she found herself gripping his hand a little tighter than she would have normally.

"I don't really want to go either. At least not… I don't know, I just don't feel like meeting this family who got to bring their girls home when we didn't."

"Exactly. I know they want to meet us and I understand why but I'm just worried that it's going to be hard, I'm going to resent them or something and they'll notice. And I don't want them to feel bad."

"Well, it'll be an hour tops. And the rest of the time is a big family vacation and we don't have to worry about it."

"Yeah, you're right."

Her fingers ran gently up and down his arm and he shifted closer again, nuzzling gently against her neck before leaning in to kiss her.

"I wish there was a better answer than time. That there was some switch we could flip or some old wives tale we could perform, like running around the house counterclockwise three times on a full moon."

She gave a half laugh at that and turned closer to him, finding home in his arms even though it had been so long.

"I'm tired of fighting it. Fighting those days when I feel sorry for myself, those days when I'm mad, and even the days when I'm happy and end up feeling guilty about it. I don't know how to make it all go away."

"I don't either."

"I don't want it between us anymore, Adam. I feel like we're fighting the same battle but we're not pooling our resources and it's making us fail. I miss you."

"I miss you too. I just feel like you're doing better than I am, and I don't want to drag you back down or put any of that on you."

"It's not that I'm doing better than you, it's just that I've had more time to focus on it. You've been concentrating on your sister and getting her better and I haven't been there for you as much as I should have been. You've been holding a lot on your own and that's not really fair."

"I think we've both felt pretty alone recently."

"What do we do?"

"Let's go on vacation and promise to have a good time. We won't worry about anything back here and if we want to talk about other things we will, but let's just relax and recharge. And when we get back, maybe it's time for us to get some help."

"Okay."

"I love you. So much."

"I love you too."

"We'll be okay, Linds. I promise you, we'll be okay."