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As Color Fades Away

Chapter Two

By the time Lance emerged from the cryo-pod, he knew for sure he'd missed lunch and by the rumbling in his stomach it had to be approaching dinner.

Coran was waiting for him outside the pod with a fresh change of clothes, blanket and a cheery wave, helping him down from the high step and draping the blanket over his shoulders. Lance held it together, teeth clacking in his mouth as they tended to do as he exited the frozen air of the pod and into the still chilly infirmary.

"You are looking much refreshed," the Altean said as Lance took an experimental step forward and released a sigh of relief as not even a trickle of pain rode up his leg. "I do apologize though, Number Three. My analysis for your injuries was rather off."

"Yeah?" Lance asked, swallowing thickly as he took the proffered clothes. His throat always tasted like cotton after he got out of the pods. Coran was prepared though and offered him a neon-orange beverage that strangely tasted a little like kiwi. It was soothing though and Lance drained it in one gulp.

"It's miraculous that you were walking on it at all," the advisor said, settling himself on a bench as Lance retreated beyond a screen to change in private. "Your muscle was ripped completely through. Nothing these lovely pods can't fix though."

Lance tried not to shudder. Such an injury would have laid him out for weeks if not months back on Earth and he had no doubt the recovery would have been as successful either. He flexed his foot again as he balanced while pulling on his pants, relieved when it continued to respond as normal. It was just another stark reminder of how different it was out here and that he, at only seventeen years old, was fighting in a war.

His mamá would be terrified if she knew. If Lance thought too hard on all it was they were doing and expected to accomplish -a group of teenagers and two aliens - he would admit he was a little terrified too.

So he tried not to, turning his thoughts to another matter.

"Where is everyone?" Lance asked, now fully dressed his casual clothes. It's not like he'd expect Keith to be there when he came out of the pod and Shiro was too busy and of course Allura as princess was too, but he was a bit torn that Hunk and Pidge weren't considering his injury had been more serious than they'd thought. Maybe they didn't know that though? He allowed himself that comfort.

"They've been on the bridge for the past several varga," Coran said and Lance inclined his head. "Your mission was very successful indeed, although I will allow them to fill you in. And the Yellow Paladin has been cooking up a storm since the meeting finished. I daresay everyone should be heading to the kitchens for dinner about now."

Lance grinned, spirits brightening. He'd been fortunate enough to be a connoisseur of Hunk's delectable cooking from a young age and he knew that no matter what strange alien ingredients his best friend had to work with he would make something delicious. "You don't have to tell me twice! Lead on to the food!"

He followed his nose to the kitchen where a most heavenly smell was wafting from the stove. "What's cooking, hermano?" he asked, stepping into the room and making his way to Hunk, decked out in an apron and huge oven mitts.

"Lance!" Hunk whirled around, bandana tails smacking Lance in the face, as he scooped him up in a giant hug that Lance eagerly returned it. "You're up!"

"When I heard you were cooking actual food I couldn't stay in there any longer," Lance joked, even as he squeezed Hunk a little longer than the situation probably warranted and Hunk returned it, understanding in those warm honey eyes. "What's on the menu anyways?"

"I'm hoping something that resembles lasagna when it's done," Hunk said, releasing Lance from the embrace to peer into the oven window. "Not sure how well that weird wheat-stalk we got from the market is going to cook up as a noodle, but it looked normal going in."

"If normal is lime green for pasta," Pidge noted from where she was already sitting at the kitchen table, the ever-present tablet propped up in front of her although her attention was for once not on it and instead on her Garrison teammates. She gave Lance what she hoped was a kind smile when he glanced over at her. Coran had reported several hours ago that the injury was much more extreme than they'd originally thought and her initial feelings of amusement that Lance had to end up in a cryo-pod again (could he not make it through one mission without one?) had been replaced with a mixture of guilt for even thinking such a thing was humorous and a sick worry that Lance was always getting hurt enough to need one. She didn't like seeing him like that or knowing he was in pain, and oftentimes because he took a hit aimed at someone else.

But she swallowed down her worry and turned her smile into something lighter, more teasing, more normal for her and Lance. "Good morning, sleeping beauty. Feeling better?"

Lance grinned at her in return. "You know it! Those pods are like magic!" He sniffed the air appreciatively. "But still not as magical as Hunk's ability to turn alien food into home cooked delicacies."

"It does smell rather delicious," Allura said, entering the kitchen with the mice riding on her shoulder. She turned her attention to Lance, who had slid into his customary seat next to Pidge. "And you are feeling better, Paladin?"

"The Princess is asking about little old me?" Lance smiled cheekily at her. "I'm so touched!"

And he really was. Allura was so busy and had so much riding on her shoulders (and he didn't mean the mice, who were disembarking to scurry towards their bowls of food goo) that her concern warmed him to his toes and he bit back any further comment that would earn him an ear twist or grimace from the princess.

"I shall take that as a yes," she said with a shake of her head, sliding into her own chair at the head of the table. Lance mentally patted himself on the back and based on the stare Pidge was giving him she too was surprised as his restraint when being given one-on-one attention from Allura. He offered her a shrug and reached for the silverware, going to stack it into a structure while he waited for dinner. He'd just gotten out of the pod and had no desire to go back in one.

Keith and Shiro entered a few moments later and Coran re-emerged from the pantry he'd headed for when he and Lance reached the kitchen with several odd looking bottles in hand. Allura's eyes lit up at the sight though. "Coran, I had no idea we had any bullarum left! Oh, what a treat!"

"Bullarum?" Lance sounded the word out on his tongue.

"It is delectable," Allura said, jewel eyes sparkling and Lance forced himself not to stare at how pretty they were. "It is very bubbly and warm and oh, you must try it!"

Lance absolutely wanted to do so. On the premise it didn't taste like nunvill. He eyed the bottle more distrustfully then as Coran came over to the table.

"I felt that on the eve of such an important mission we should have something to celebrate its soon-to-be success with," Coran said, popping open the bottle and pouring what appeared to be a clear liquid with tiny bubbles into glasses around the table.

"Okay, I'm lost," Lance said. "What mission? How long was I out?" He said it jokingly but his stomach twinged that he was the only one out, even though he knew it was impossible for him to have known anything since he'd been in a pod. He grimaced to himself. If he'd only avoided that shot he could have been on the bridge and a part of the mission discussion with the rest of them.

Shiro was quick to assure him it had only been for the afternoon and a promise to explain it all after dinner. "I'm just glad you're feeling better," he'd smiled gently and Lance had ducked his head at the show of concern.

The bullarum ended up tasting quite similar to sparkling grape juice and it tickled all the way down the throat in a very pleasant way. And Hunk had outdone himself with his alien lasagna although it was a bit crunchy and, as Pidge had noted, lime green.

Soon though plates were being scraped clean, the mice finishing up the last few noodles, and Shiro cleared his throat. Lance sat up straighter, determined to listen well since this rebrief was for his benefit. To his surprise there seemed to be an attentiveness from the others too and while he expected it from Keith (he never relaxed) to see Hunk and Pidge looking excited and Hunk nudging his foot under the table was a bit different.

Lance's stomach gave a flop of nerves and excitement. Something was about to happen.

Shiro started by explaining that the data they had pulled from the ship showed that it had been transporting some sort of item that was apparently of such value it was listed only as "xxx" in the ship's logs but given the high security detail around it and the fact it was the only item on the cargo ship inventory it was indeed something special.

The ship had been attacked, by who Shiro said they could not determine, and a set of sentry-manned drones had removed the item and abandoned the ship.

Pidge jumped in and explained that she had managed to copy the drone signal and piggybacked onto it and sent the coordinates to herself, but to her surprise the drone was no longer pinging as moving nor located in space.

"So it crashed?" Lance clarified, but he got a head shake and Hunk's grin across the table widened.

"Not quite," Pidge flipped her tablet around although Lance couldn't make heads or tails of it. "It did, but not in the boom, explosion way. The planet it fell to... it's Xinsthes."

Lance looked at her blankly, not understanding the importance.

"It is a water planet," Coran chimed in. "No land mass to speak of."

Lance could feel a smile of his own starting to grow as the details started to sink in. Were they saying...?

"The Galra are attempting to retrieve this item as we speak, but their ships were not designed for such an environment," Allura explained, meeting Lance's eyes. "There is only one vessel that exists that would be able to pilot in such location without requiring any additional time to configure to the viscosity of Xinsthes."

Lance could feel his face splitting from the force of his grin. "Me? Right? Me and Blue?" He bounced out of his seat, unable to contain his excitement. He was getting a solo mission? Him? Hunk's foot nudging made a lot more sense now and Lance beamed at him as Hunk chuckled and nodded.

This was it. This would be his chance to show them all what he could do. He'd impress Allura and Shiro and maybe even Keith would acknowledge his success and skill and Lance could prove to his rival that he was was deserving of the title Paladin too.

"Correct," Allura said, although a smile tugged at her face at the Blue Paladin's antics and clear excitement. "It is of the utmost importance we retrieve this item before the Galra. It is clearly valuable to them and therefore even moreso to us."

As Lance looked about the table though he felt his smile dimming and the nerves from earlier flared back up. Because...

Could he do this?

The mission seemed easy on the surface, so if he screwed it up that'd be really bad. Was he even good enough to be trusted with such a mission? He'd messed up today, they'd all seen it. He hadn't been able to fight off the sentries when it mattered. And he wasn't the best pilot and this was a really important mission. Too important to mess up, to trust him and him alone. He bit his lip, excitement leaving him.

He wanted to do this so bad but he was afraid of the chance of failure too.

"Lance, buddy," Shiro called and Lance started. "Everything all right?"

"Y-yeah," Lance said rubbing the back of his head as he felt a flush blooming on his cheeks. "I was just thinking" – he vaguely heard Keith mutter "that's a first" under his breath – and pressed on trying to ignore his face now trying to catch literal fire, "that maybe I shouldn't do this mission."

"Why ever not?" Allura asked, narrowing her eyes. "Are you still injured?"

"Well, no."

"Then why?"

"I just, uh, don't think I'm the right person for this. I mean, I really messed up today." He heard Hunk try to interject but he plowed on. "Someone else should do this. Shiro, maybe. I'd probably completely mess it up too and it's really important and I don't want the whole mission to fail because I suck at being a Paladin."

"Paladin, no one thinks that," Allura said as he paused to draw breath, a frown playing over her features. "You are a true Paladin of Voltron and I have the utmost faith you are the best pilot for this task. Do you doubt me?"

Ooh, that was tricky right there. Lance didn't doubt Allura in the slightest, but he couldn't help but doubt himself. But if he disagreed with her then he'd be saying he didn't believe her judgment and he really did, except for perhaps him being the best person for this mission. Behind Allura he could see concern settling on Shiro's features and Hunk looked worried too while Pidge more confused than anything. Keith was frowning too, eyes narrowed and Lance hurriedly averted his eyes before they accidentally met. He couldn't bear to see the judgment in them right now.

He swallowed thickly and then gave the barest shake of his head to Allura's question and a soft, "No, Princess." He knew he should feel bolstered by her show of support but his stomach was twisting again as nerves and what ifs settled heavily.

"Then it is settled," Allura gave a graceful nod. "We shall commence the mission at 0800 varga sharp tomorrow. Any questions?" A series of head shakes sounded about the room.

Shiro took charge then. "It's going to be a busy day so you're all to be in bed no later than 2000 hours. Pidge," - honey eyes widened innocently behind her glasses - "no electronics in bed again," and she pouted, caught. Lance would have chuckled if he didn't think doing so would make him throw up Hunk's lasagna. "We'll meet outside of the Black Lion's hangar at 0800 in our Lions. Dismissed."

Shiro turned then to Allura, requesting the princess speak privately with him, and Lance felt his stomach give another heave. He had the sick feeling they were going to be talking about him. He was already standing up from the table and as quick as he could without running away he left the room, hearing Hunk calling out for him but he didn't stop.

This wasn't something one of Hunk's hugs was going to fix. He couldn't face anyone right now, face a mixture of still embarrassed red and scared pale and sick green. He just wanted to go to his room, try not to puke, and convince himself that accepting this mission wasn't going to be a giant mistake.

But as soon as he stumbled into his room he realized this wasn't where he wanted to be. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts right now.

Blue.

He wanted, needed, to talk to Blue. She never failed to reassure him and calm his racing heart. He could certainly use her gentle rumbling purrs right now and smiles and laughter and imagined scent of the ocean surf.

Yes. He would go talk to Blue.

He about-faced and headed for his hangar, going at a quick trot. But the sound of voices from up ahead had him ducking into one of the many open doorways, conference rooms of days long past that used to be filled with meetings and people according to Coran.

He still didn't want to face anyone.

Seconds later the voices became clearer and his heart stuttered.

Shiro and Allura.

"—worry as well," Allura said, voice as musical as always but heavy. "Their behavior threatens all of the team and its ability to form Voltron."

"I know, Princess," Shiro replied quietly. "I will speak to them once tomorrow's mission is over. Perhaps a team-bonding exercise for the two of them to work this out."

Allura hummed although she did not sound happy. Their voices were getting closer and Lance pressed himself further against the inner wall, heart pounding and stomach hurting even more.

They were talking about him and Keith. He knew it.

"I also worry for Lance," Allura continued softly and Lance started at hearing his own name even though he had already guessed he was the topic of conversation, but moreso hearing it from Allura's lips. She generally only called him Paladin, just as she did all of the other humans. "He seems happy, but I am beginning to think I do not understand him nor his motivations as I had previously thought. I had believed this mission was something he wished for but I fear I was mistaken. I am concerned."

"Me too," Shiro said quietly and Lance's breath hitched. Allura and Shiro were worried about him? Oh, he really had screwed up. They both had enough on their plates; they didn't need to be troubled with him. He needed to get his head on straight. More training, first thing after the mission. He'd get better so they wouldn't worry, so he wouldn't be a burden, the one always in need of rescuing instead of being the rescuer.

He had to fix this.

He missed whatever Shiro said next thanks to his own thoughts rattling around, but came back at the sound of Keith's name from Allura's mouth - and again, he was confused by the sound of their actual names - but it was overshadowed as Shiro let out a soft, tired sigh. Guilt tugged at him.

"He's a bit stubborn," Shiro murmured. "Keith... he... well," he trailed off and Lance tried not to breathe in the sudden silence. He'd always figured that somehow Keith and Shiro knew each other from before Voltron, but he had no idea how or what their relationship was. Was he about to find out? He didn't want to, not this way. Lance wasn't as nosy as Hunk and this sounded... this sounded private.

But he needn't have worried as when Shiro next spoke it was not about his rival, not in that way. "I'll speak with Keith tomorrow after the mission. He's a good kid, Princess. He just... needs a little time to adjust." Allura made a comment too soft for Lance to hear as they continued to step away and within a few ticks they had rounded the corner and silence reigned.

Lance counted out a full dobash before he exited the conference room. He didn't even feel like talking to Blue now, heart feeling even heavier than before. He was worrying the two people he really looked up to and making a fool of himself in the process. No wonder they were worried about the team's ability to form Voltron. He was holding them all back and despite how he wanted to blame Keith... he knew it wasn't his rival's fault. Lance just didn't measure up, it was as simple as that.

He was the weak link of Team Voltron.

He trudged back to his room and burrowed under the blanket and grabbed one of his many quilts he'd collected on their space travels, pressing the rough weave to his face and rubbing it back and forth on his cheek to try and ward off the hot tears cropping up. He knew he should probably get dressed in his pajamas, the zipper of his jacket already digging awkwardly into his side where he had curled up, but he left it. It was comforting, his jacket, that had somehow continued to survive all of their space adventures. If he concentrated hard enough he could almost pretend it smelled like the cinnamon candies Mamá liked to eat and the rain-scented detergent that she bought just for him. The familiar pang of homesickness struck him and he curled tightly into a ball, trying and failing this time to blink back the tears.

He wanted to go home.

But he couldn't. The universe was counting on Voltron to bring peace and defeat the Galra Empire and even as the weak link of the team he was still a part of it.

He was a part of Team Voltron, the most amazing thing in the entire universe. He wiped at his tears, nodding to himself. He could do this. He wouldn't let the universe down.

"I'll make you proud, Mamá, Papá," he whispered, the promise strong despite the quietness of it. "And... And I'll show all of them that I am a real Paladin of Voltron."

xxx

The next day dawned much too early in Lance's opinion, but he didn't allow himself to complain. He'd try and be just like Shiro: focused, calm and ready to complete the mission. He could do this. He repeated the phrase to himself as he changed into his underarmor and then pulled on the outer armor that Coran had apparently repaired sometime in the overnight hours and returned to his room. He made a mental note to thank Coran later for the trouble.

He hurried then to the Blue Lion's hangar and greeted Blue with as cheerful as a good morning as he could manage as his stomach twisted with nerves as this was it and the earlier conviction and courage was fading and doubts were clamoring in. Her mind had brushed against his as soon as he was inside the hangar but as he entered the cockpit it turned into a stronger pulse of concern.

"I'm all right," he assured, but she nudged harder, insistent like a pesky wave, as she sensed his unease.

"Okay, I'm a little upset," he conceded as he flipped on her engine. "It's me though. I'm just… I'm worried about messing up today, Blue. I... I really want to do this right but I keep thinking that something is going to go wrong, you know?" He let out a weak laugh that was not at all the humorous ones Blue loved.

Her reassurance came through as strong as a a tidal wave, but comforting all the same. My Paladin best she purred. My Paladin not fail.

"It'd be hard to with a gorgeous Lion like you by my side," he said sincerely, and he felt her rumble with contentment at the compliment. She though could feel his heart lightening, the blue of his light shining brighter again from the darker swirls and choppy waves it had entered her hangar with. "Thank you, Blue."

My Paladin best she repeated, nuzzling against the light. My Paladin succeed at mission.

Lance could feel Blue settle down around him as she herself focused on the mission and Lance guided his Lion out of the hangar and into the open space around the castle towards the Black Lion's hanger on the far side of the castle. He was not the last one to arrive, he noted, as Hunk still had yet to show. In the far distance he could make out Galran drones hovering around a dark blue planet that Blue happily sensed felt like water. He chuckled and pattered her console. Soon.

A few seconds later Hunk arrived and Shiro had them all gather in a circle, his voice coming in loud and clear over the comms. "All right Paladins, this is going to be a quick get in, get out mission. Lance, you and the Blue Lion will go to the planet and locate the Galra tech marked by the heat signature its giving off."

"I see it," Lance said, a small pink dot blinking on the console. "Blue and I are ready."

A small smile pulled up Lance's lips at his words. Yes. He was ready. He and Blue could do this. Blue let out a soft roar in his mind of agreement.

"Good," and Lance didn't think he was imagining the note of pride in Shiro's voice. He ducked his head even though no one else could see his pinkend cheeks. "The rest of us will provide aerial support from above. Take out whatever ships you can, but focus primarily on clearing a path for Lance both upon entry and especially exit of the planet when the Blue Lion cannot engage while carrying the item. Are there any questions?"

No one spoke. "All right then," Shiro's voice sounded over the comms. "Commence mission."

The Lions launched themselves from their stationary floating forms. Lance curbed the habit of charging headlong in an attempt to keep up with Keith. He knew he couldn't match the Red Lion's speed and he was supposed to focus on reaching the planet without engaging the many Galra drone ships. And besides, he wanted to prove to them all he could take a mission seriously.

He could do this.

They were in Xinsthes' atmosphere within a few dobashes, the Yellow and Black Lions flanking his side and their large bulks a comfort, as the Galran fleets swarmed their way. Lance hoped there weren't any actually piloted ships out there, as those presented an entire different set of problems than the sentry-powered ones.

Shiro and Hunk flew with him almost all the way to the planet's surface keeping his path entirely clear, and with a burst of speed Lance broke away and finished his descent solo, adjusting the controls as they hit the surface and they slipped beneath the dark surface with barely a splash.

He could feel Blue's absolute glee as the water rushed over them and she swam in a happy circle under the water he whooped as she somersaulted in her excitement. He understood how she felt. He hadn't been in the water in forever and let out another shout as she flipped over into another series of happy tumbles.

"Focus on the mission," Keith snapped over the comm and Lance winced.

"Spoilsport," Lance muttered under his breath, an attempt to ease the sting of the words, and he felt Blue's silent apology for her actions. He patted her console; he didn't blame her in the slightest but it was time to get to work now and reigned Blue in and directed her towards the beeping dot on the console.

He listened idly as the team up above called out strikes to one another, no one ever rising above the level of calm and collected. That boded well, he thought. It was nice to have a mission without a huge complication, especially a mission in which he was playing such an important role

His palms felt sweaty beneath his gloves and he rubbed them against his thighs for all the good it did. Deep breaths, he told himself. It was fine. He could do this.

The beeping was growing louder on his dashboard as he and Blue swam deeper and deeper, a direct contrast to the almost painful silence and pressure outside of her cockpit. He was glad his Lion knew where she was going, as other than her headlights it was pitch black under the water and nothing to see in all directions. It was making him feel the slightest bit claustrophobic, if he was being honest, and he clutched a little harder than necessary at her controls.

No worry Blue comforted as she felt his unease. Lion protect Paladin.

"Gracias, beautiful," he whispered, licking suddenly dry lips. "I—"

"How is it going, Lance?" Shiro's voice crackled over his headset and Lance jumped in his seat, smashing his knees on the underside of the dashboard at the sudden address and based on the exclamations the thunk had been audible across the comms. Lance's face flamed.

"You okay, Lance?" Hunk asked.

"Fine, fine," Lance hurried to say, tongue nearly tripping on itself. "It's just..." Really dark down here, he silently added. And quiet. And more than a bit unnerving.

"Lance?" Shiro sounded again. "Buddy, everything okay?"

And he was making Shiro worry again. Dios.

"Are you sure you can handle your assignment?" Keith's voice cut in.

"You try diving to the bottom of a planet," Lance snapped, letting the quick burst of anger, of embarrassment, push away the steadily growing dread as they continued to dive deeper into the black abyss. He really, really really hoped Blue knew which direction was up because he did not want to be trapped down here, lost, in the never ending darkness until his oxygen ran out and then he suffocated and—

"You're doing great, Lance," Shiro's voice broke through his spiraling panic. "How's the sensor looking?"

Lance had been so distracted by the comms and the darkness that he had almost missed that the proximity sensor was no longer beeping but almost humming. And unless his eyes were deceiving him there was a spot of color not related to the faint beam of Blue's headlamps piercing the water.

"I think we're just about there," Lance said. And to his immense relief a moment later there was indeed an object being illuminated by Blue. "Ah, I see it! It's really, really big."

It really was. He circled around it, sizing up whatever this mysterious block shaped item was. It was he'd guess maybe twenty or so feet tall and was nearly pitch black, save for a faint purple glow emitting from its very bottom.

"Can the Blue Lion pick it up?" Shiro asked.

"Yeah, she's got it. Right, Blue?" He received a soft rumble in answer as they floated next to it and Lance silenced the sensor, letting out a breath in the same moment. He'd done it. He and Blue had reached the item and he hadn't messed up the mission in any way. He just had to get it back to the surface now and Blue sent him a reassurance that she did indeed know which direction was up, amusement coloring it and Lance let out a not quite hysterical laugh but one of just sheer relief that it was almost over.

"Easy does it now," Shiro cautioned.

"We've got it, Shiro," Lance said as he lowered Blue directly above it so she could grip it with her claws, a burst of confidence restored at the success. "Piece of cake."

But just as Blue's claws touched the surface of the item everything went wrong.

An explosion of light burst from the object, Blue roared in agony, Lance joining her as her pain traveled down their link, and the Paladins all shouted as harsh static raced across their communications and blasted their hearing.

The underwater landscape lit up with the sick purple glow...

And then everything went black.

Author's Notes: Poor Lance. Nothing is ever just a simple mission for him, is it? I always pictured his bravado as a way to cover up his own insecurities and wanted to touch on that a bit more. It'll most definitely be coming up later too.

As you can see, I have chosen to continue this story! Thank you all for reading and especially thank you to the lovely people that stopped by to review that encouraged me to continue. Those amazing individuals are: Cats and violin, Morte Mistrata, Wolfwind97, StrawberryFever3, Alex1414, Guest, FreakyMe99, fran1010, and Syb3rStrife.

I am hoping to update every 1-2 weeks (or as long as I stay motivated xD) so please be sure to drop a comment down below if you enjoyed the chapter! Every review feeds the muse and keeps me going!