"Please may Thomas come with us?" Avery whined for the fifth time. "She just hates to be left home alone."
"Averylin, I am not going to tell you no again."
"Oh! So that means you will say yes!"
"No, Avery-"
"Thomas baby! You could pick a dress to wear today!"
Avery clambered back upstairs happily before Lindsay could stop her, and Adam laughed from the couch.
"Hey, I didn't see you stepping up to the plate on that one."
"Aw babe, I didn't want to undermine your mothering skills!"
"Uh-huh," she nodded with a glare, pointing up the stairs. "Go take care of it."
He swore as he walked by her, then turned back around and planted a firm kiss on her lips.
"She's gonna kill me. You think you can live without all this?"
"I'll risk it."
He started up the stairs and found Avery in her room, fighting the dog into a purple t-shirt.
"Now Thomas, Jo is gonna take pictures of all us kids to send to Stella, an' we need to look nice."
"Hey Tink, Thomas is going to have to stay home."
"But mama said-"
"Mama did not say, you just weren't really listening."
"But I so want to take her!"
"I know sweetie. But think about how loud and rowdy it will be there, and how crowded."
"Oh. Thomas does not like loud and rowdy and crowdy. Okay, she will stay home by herself and Floppers."
"Thank you Avery."
"You are welcome, daddy. You look most nice in your fancy clothes. I like when you wear a tie."
"Thanks Tink. Should we go downstairs and help mama get the food ready?"
"Yes, I suppose. What about them boys?"
"They're still getting dressed. Ben seems very distressed about wearing the right thing."
"Yes, he telled me that he did not want to be too matchy with anyone for the pictures, but he did not want to stand out either. I gived him my big purple bow so he could wear it for a tie, but he said that silk is not for a boy."
"That's Ben for you. C'mon, I think mama still needs to fix your hair."
They went downstairs and Adam took over with the pies while Lindsay started on hair duty, sighing at the mass of curls on her daughters head.
"Averylin, what are we going to do with this hair of yours?"
"Make it beautiful!"
"I wish I could. Brace yourself sweetie, there's some tangles."
"It's okay, just do it gentle."
Lindsay sighed and finger-combed the curls as best she could, clipping them back and turning Avery around on the stool to look.
"Mama? Why do you got that face?"
"You just look so grown up. I'm trying to figure out when that happened."
"It has been happening my whole life mama. You sure are silly."
"Honey, could I just hold you for a minute?"
"Oh of course," Avery replied, grinning when Lindsay scooped her up and cuddled her close.
"Any chance you want to go back to being a baby?"
"No thank you. But I will always be your little baby, even if I am almost seven years old."
"Thanks for that."
"Mama?"
"Hmm?"
"Someday when I have my own babies and they grow up, I will know how it feels and I will come here and see you and I will let you hold me like a baby because I will understand."
"Averylin Grace, you are the best daughter in the whole world."
"You are the best mama. And daddy is the best daddy, but the boys are tied for best brother because I could never, ever choose."
"I'm glad you're happy in this family. We're happy you're here."
"Oh I know. I am everyone's favorite."
It was five minutes until dinner time and Mac was chasing Jo around the kitchen with a spatula, mock-yelling at her for forgetting to pick up his favorite turkey carving knife from the repair shop on her way home the day before. All of the kids were thrilled to watch the show, and sat at the kitchen table giggling as the drama unfolded.
"I can't cut a turkey without the turkey knife, Jo."
"The turkey knife? Does it gobble?"
"C'mere, I'll teach you gobbling."
She laughed and he slapped her playfully with the spatula.
"Hey, one mistake does not a holiday fail make."
"Huh?"
She laughed again and ran around the other side of the table, hoping the kids would shield her.
"I'll get you, my pretty," he growled. "And your paycheck too!"
"Never!"
She took off into the other room and he slid into the corner to await her return. He wasn't disappointed (and neither were the kids) when she tiptoed in just a moment later, peeking around the corner.
"Jo he's right there!" Isa shouted, pointing at Mac who suddenly felt very foolish for hiding in the corner. "So now could we eat? Please Papaw. I am dying of hunger."
"Do not die, Isa," Avery piped up. "You need your strength to eat pie later."
"Thanks for putting that into perspective, Avery."
"You are very most welcome. Teagan, may I please have some more of your lipstick?"
Teagan nodded and reached into her purse, producing a tube of glittery lip gloss, which she and Avery had been applying all day, much to the chagrin of their parents.
"Fabulous, thanks."
"You're welcome. I'm glad Jo let us wear it for the pictures for Aunt Stella. I think she will really like them."
"Aunt Stella would like the pictures even if we looked like crap," Liam agreed with a nod.
"Liam! You can't say that word on a holiday!"
"Oops. I mean if we looked like… uh… well if we looked terrible! Could I say that word tomorrow, Teags?"
"You'll have to ask mom about the rules of manners. I don't know about that one."
"My mama says that manners is good to have, but sometimes in our family we don't have them," Ben started. "Like we do not say excuse me when we walk by each other, we say "hey move it!" and then we laugh."
"Sometimes we even say "hey move it big head," if we're talking to Ben," Colton teased with a grin.
"Yeah, they do, even though my head is just regular sized now."
"Ben, did your head shrink or did your body grow?"
"Well sissy, I don't rightly know the answer to that question. Ask mama."
"I shall, I shall."
"Are you kids ready to eat?" Mac asked, figuring that he could continue carving the turkey while everyone filled the rest of their plates.
"Yes we are!" Daniel hollered, jumping off of his chair and grabbing his plate. "I want to be first in line!"
He dashed across the kitchen, stumbling in his socks as they slid across the tile floor. He tried to stop but with the plate tucked under one arm, he didn't have a way to balance or catch himself. It would have been an amusing and short-lived upset, but he managed to knock into Avery, who lost her footing, smacking her head against the counter as she fell down. Her instant screaming brought a flurry of commotion and Isa was the first to get to her, sliding to her knees and trying to shush the squeals.
"Shh, it's okay Avery. Take a deep breath, it's okay. You'll be fine."
"Sissy's hurt!" Ben hollered as loudly as he could. "And Daniel did it!"
"I didn't mean to!" Daniel shouted, his voice strained and panicked. "I would never hurt Aves, you know that!"
Avery continued to wail, even when Mac managed to pick her up off the floor and Jo examined where the blood was coming from.
"DADDY!" she sobbed, reaching for Adam as he came around the corner. "I am dying!"
It was at that moment that the rest of the kids realized how much blood was on the floor, tangled in Avery's hair, and now covering Mac's hand. Sarah's eyes went wide and she leaned against the wall, letting herself slide down to the floor. Colton and Isa both moved closer to Avery to try and help Jo tend to her while Teagan and Liam looked on, not used to such chaos.
"Look what you did! Daniel look what you did to my baby sister!"
"It was an accident Ben!"
"It was an accident that was your fault and now my sissy is bleeding all her blood out!"
Angrily, Daniel dashed from the room and they could hear the bathroom door slamming behind him, even over Avery's continuing wails.
"I think we should take her in for stitches," Lindsay deduced after a quick look while Jo held the red curls back. "Averylin, let daddy hold you."
"It hurts!" she moaned, letting go of Mac. "Can you see my brain? What if my brain falls out the new hole in my head?!"
Her new fear started a fresh round of tears and she became even more inconsolable than before, trying to clamp her hands over the wound in the back of her head, then screaming when she saw the blood. It was Sid, surprisingly, who managed to calm her down, assuring that her brain would not fall out, that there were too many protections in place, and everything would be just fine.
Adam and Lindsay managed to bundle her up and get into the car, while Colton and Ben stood on the porch, waving at their little sister, whose face was soaked with tears.
"I think you'd better go try and talk to Daniel," Colton said, once the car had turned at the end of the street.
"Cole, he hurt sissy."
"He didn't mean to. I know you love Aves a lot but it was really an accident. And you turned around and hurt your best friends feelings when he already felt terrible."
"Boy," Ben started with a long sigh. "I suck as a human."
"You don't suck," Colton assured, steering him inside. "Sometimes you just let your emotions dictate what you do."
"Suppose I should work on that. Better go up there and get Daniel out of the bathroom so he can eat like he so wanted to."
Taking a steadying breath, he ventured up the stairs, finding Austin sitting outside the bathroom door, trying to coax Daniel out. Ben met her eyes and looked down, shuffling his foot against the carpet.
"Well I suppose you heard about the unkind way in which I treated Daniel."
She nodded slowly.
"How's Avery?"
"Mama and daddy took her to get stitches. How's Daniel?"
"He's not coming out."
"I'm real, real sorry."
"I know that Ben. I know you didn't mean it. And I think deep down Daniel knows that too."
"But I hurt his feelings as much as that counter hurt sissy's head."
"Pretty much."
"Mind if I try to get him out of there?"
"Go for it."
"Hey-yo Dunner," he started, knocking on the door. "I'm real sorry about what I said. I just kind of panicked because… you know, it scared me that sissy was hurt. She's the baby and all and I'm pretty protective of her. Mama said I was over-bearing to a fault. I don't know exactly what that means, but I'm inferring that I have this issue where I become like a beast to protect sissy. And you know, I was really worried about her. And the thing is Daniel, you're my best buddy in the whole world and I love you in a guy-type way a whole lot. But I will always love sissy more. So I felt as if I had to take sides maybe in that moment. Which is pretty near dumb, considering sissy wouldn't even be mad at you anyway. So I'm really sorry for saying what I did. It was not your fault and she's not bleeding all her blood out."
"Hey-yo Binyin?"
"Yeah?"
"Think that food is still ready?"
"I bet!"
The door swung open and Daniel came out, throwing his arm around Ben's shoulders.
"I reckon we can let by-gones be by-gones. It is a holiday after all."
"I really appreciate your attitude of forgiveness, Daniel."
"You're welcome buddy. Let's go eat."
"But I don't want stitches! I don't want my hair cut! I just want to go home!" Avery wailed, rubbing at her eyes while she lay on the examination table. "Daddy please!"
"Sweetie, we need to get this closed up so it doesn't get infected."
"Did they do this in the olden days?"
"Yes, they did."
"So even Laura and Mary got stitched up at the doctor?" she clarified, sniffling.
"Probably."
"Okay. But daddy, I do not want them to cut my hair!"
"They won't cut it all, just a teeny bit. You won't even notice."
"And I'll keep it for you if you'd like me to," the doctor said softly, giving Avery's shoulder a gentle pat. "You'll be out of here in no time, Avery."
"Okay. If you must do this then you must but I would like to remind y'all that I do not like it."
Adam chuckled and scooted his chair closer to her while the doctor started her work, carefully cutting a lock of Avery's hair away from the open wound.
"Okay sweetie, I want you to take a deep breath in and let it out when I tell you."
"Why, what will you do?"
"I need to put some medicine on you to make your head numb."
"Will it hurt?"
"It won't feel great but it's just a second."
"Daddy, hold mine hand please."
Adam obliged and took her tiny hand in his, kissing her soft skin while she crinkled up her nose and breathed deeply.
"When will mama come back here?"
"We'll meet her out front when we're done."
"But I want her to."
"There's not enough room in here for everyone sweetie. It's okay, she's filling out all your paperwork. We'll probably be done before she is," he assured, seeing that the local had already been given and his little girl hadn't even flinched.
"Daddy? Will there be food left when we return?"
"I bet Jo saves us something."
"I hope she saves me some yams."
"Yams?"
"That's what mama calls them sweet potatoes, with all the nutty goodness and marshmallows on the top. She maked extra for our family, for breakfast! Doesn't that sound most wonderful?"
"It sounds great baby."
"Daddy, why is your face changing color?" she asked after a while. He took a deep breath and shook his head, trying to focus on her face rather than the stitching the doctor was doing. He had no idea why he suddenly felt so faint.
"Dad, are you going to be alright?" the doctor asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.
"Uh, yeah, I think so. I just need…"
"Head between your knees," she coached with a grin. She'd seen many parents in the same situation, and hardly ever did they actually pass out.
"Daddy, do you want my sucker?" Avery offered, squeezing his hand. "It is grape."
"No, that's okay Tink."
"Why do you look like a old picture?"
"Huh?"
"You are quite gray, daddy."
He chuckled a little and took another breath, slowly lifting his head so he could see her, but not what the doctor was doing.
"I just don't like to see you hurt."
"It does not hurt much anymore," she assured. "Actually, my whole head feels real puffy. Is that normal?"
"Yeah, that's just the numbing medicine. Sometimes it spreads like that. Nothing to worry about. And just a little bit more and we're done."
"See daddy, it is not a big deal," Avery started, as if he had been the one carrying on the entire time. "We will just tell mama how brave we were."
He smiled and leaned forward to kiss the end of her nose.
"Yeah, we will."
Soon enough she was all stitched up and happily headed back to the waiting room, her hair settled over the gauze padding on the back of her head.
"Mama, when I come to get my stitchies out, you will have to bring me," she started, shoving the sucker into her purse. "Daddy was most brave, but it almost overcomed him to see his baby like that."
"Okay, I'll bring you," Lindsay chuckled, her eyes flicking up to Adam, whose skin tone had returned almost to normal. "Can I see-"
"No mama, we mustn't disturb the healing process. You will be able to see tomorrow when you wash my curls. Oh, an' here is the hair this nice doctor had to cut off of me. It is my first haircut. And see on the end here? That is hair that I was borned with! It's been with me my whole life."
"Yes, it is."
"Such a shame I had to part with it because of a accident."
"It's okay. When I tuck you in tonight, remind me to tell you about my very first haircut."
"Alright mama. Can we go now? I would very much like some turkey."
"Sure, let's get out of here."
"Such a festive holiday," Jo mused, watching as Avery slowly wrote a letter to Stella, to be tucked into the package with the pictures. "How shall we top it next year?"
"Please, don't joke about that," Jess requested with a wry grin, handing Austin the Black Friday flyer. "I totally and completely believe in jinxes."
"You have to admit, this family does get up to some kind of shenanigans every holiday."
"Yeah, but those shenanigans usually come from the Messer and Ross camp."
"Hey now," Lindsay started, holding a hand up. "I only married in, the shenanigans are not in my genes."
"I married in too!"
"Yeah but Austin, you grew up with it your whole life. I think it's seeped in."
"I am a Ross," Avery said, tapping her chin with her pencil. "Am I a shenanigan?"
"Absolutely."
"Good. I don't want to be left out."
She went back to her letter, trying to keep it nice and neat, especially her signature, which she completed with a little flourish.
"There, I am done. Who would like to hear what I wrote to Stella? Here it goes. 'Dearest Stella. Daniel ran into me. I fell and got hurt. There was no turkey left. Jo made for me a milkshake. I have four stitches and a sucker. Love Avery.' Think she will like that one?"
"I think she'll love it, Averylin Grace," Jo smiled, folding the letter in thirds. "I'll put it in the envelope with all the pictures, okay?"
"Fab! I'll go have some fun with the rest of the kids now."
"Be careful of your head honey."
"Oh mama, you worry most too much."
She dashed off up the stairs and Jo stood up, grabbing the empty mugs to take to the kitchen for refills.
"So I think we should make a plan," Jess said finally, carefully stacking the flyers and ads on the coffee table. "I mean, not a map or anything. But… we should really think about which doorbusters are worth our time."
"There's pajamas for four dollars, I need to stock up on those for Avery."
"Not the boys?"
"They're getting too old for pajama sets. And they just sleep in their underwear anyway because apparently that's what men do."
"Of course."
"Danny wants me to get a new TV for the bedroom. Apparently Farnsworth isn't transmitting an adequate picture after 30 years of service."
"Farnsworth?"
"We named the TV. I told him it was a mans job to buy the TV, but at the time he was letting Sarah paint his nails so…"
"At least he stopped wearing the tutus a few years ago."
"Hey, he's a good daddy."
"Yes he is. It's very entertaining."
"Shut up Linds. I've seen Adam wearing a hat and a string of pearls just because Avery wanted to have a tea party with him."
Lindsay chuckled.
"Yes, but you've never heard the accent he does and you don't know that he goes by Mrs. ThunderMueller."
Jess burst into laughter.
"Where did that name come from?"
"He was originally just Mrs. Mueller, but Avery said that since he's her daddy too, he needed to have a boy name as well."
"Okay, well I've walked in on Don playing with Teagan's Barbies even when she's not there. We're talking full on dramatic stories with legitimate plots and voices. And it's been more than once. I honestly think he just really amuses himself."
Austin's eyes lit up at this discovery and she clapper her hands over her mouth to keep herself from letting out a scream-laugh.
"Can I use this against him like right now?"
"Better not. I want to lure him deeper into a false sense of security. I'll give you the signal when it's time."
Austin managed to get her giggles under control by the time the guys came into the room with dessert.
"Hey, Mrs. ThunderMueller?"
"You rang?"
"Dang, you have no shame left to be embarrassed, do you?"
"Hey, I am very proud of my role as Penelope ThunderMueller, thank you very much."
"Never a dull moment around here."