Tony swallowed hard and stared at Ziva. "Did you miscarry?"
"N-no." She looked down at her hands. "My father, he found out that I was pregnant. Probably from one of his spies. He told me that I could not have a baby, especially a baby of a Muslim boy. He had plans for me, plans that did not include a baby."
His hazel eyes darkened. "And?"
"I refused. But no one says no to my father." She took a deep shuddering breath. "He carried me, kicking and screaming, to his doctor's. I suppose the rest is, how you say it, history." Her dark eyes were filled with unshed tears. "Something happened. Maybe I do not take the medicine as well as most people, maybe the doctor did not give me the correct amount. Whatever it was, I awoke during the procedure. I tried to escape…" She shrugged her slight shoulders. "Something went wrong. There was so much blood. It was all my fault…"
Tony ran his hands through his hair, sweat beading up on his forehead. Sure, he had thought about having a family with Ziva. A boy with her looks and his brains. Or a girl with his looks and her brains. Either way it didn't matter. And now this. It hit him like a bucket of cold water. There never would be a little boy with dark eyes that shone when he was happy and watched OSU football. There never would be a little girl with a killer smile and could throw a knife like a champion. The DiNozzo bloodline ended with him.
"Tony?" Her voice wavered.
"I…I think I need some air." He said lamely, standing up. "I…I…" He headed towards the door. "…you'll…be o…okay here?"
Ziva nodded, blinking away the tears.
The hot dry air stung his face, but he didn't care. He walked faster and faster, soon breaking into a run. He shoved past people out on their daily shopping trips. He pushed past kids who were on their way home from school. He ran until he couldn't run anymore. Unshed tears stung his eyes, the dry desert air burned his lungs. Looking around, he realised that he had no idea where he was, and less of an idea how to get back. He pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes and released all of the pent up emotions. Tears streamed through his fingers hitting the road creating little balls of dirt. He cried for Ziva and all of the pain she had been put through. He cried for the babies she'd never carry. He cried until he felt like he couldn't cry anymore. Tony wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and looked around. Now to find his way back to the hotel. He walked down the unfamiliar streets, hearing unfamiliar languages, smelling unfamiliar smells. He was really screwed. He had no idea which direction he was facing, let alone which way he was supposed to go.
A small boy walked up to him and pulled on his sleeve.
Tony gave him a small smile. "Shalom."
The boy shook his head. "Asalaam Alaikum. You lost?"
"Yeah. I…kind of got turned around."
"Where you stay?" The boy grinned.
"King David hotel."
The tiny boy shook his head. "You far away. Follow this street…six blocks. Then turn…right. Go 8 blocks. It should be on left."
Tony nodded. "Thanks." He took off running down the street. "Hey kid, what's your name?"
"Mohammed."
"Thanks Mohammed. And Asalaam Alaikum to you too."
His feet hit the pavement quickly as he rushed back to the hotel. True to Mohammed's word, the hotel was on his left. He fished in his pockets for the key card and rushed to the room.
Ziva was where he left her, curled in a ball on the king sized bed. He approached her slowly, sitting on the edge of bed, gently reaching out and running his fingers through her hair. "Zee…"
"…You came back." She said softly and amazed.
"Of course I came back. I said I just needed some air." He crawled closer and pulled her onto his lap. "I just had to think."
"About us?" She sounded small, frightened, and hurt.
He sighed. "About everything. I…I don't want to lose you. Especially over this. Over something YOU didn't do. You have to remember that."
"But I DID do it…I was stupid."
"You weren't stupid. You were a kid." He wrapped his arms around her. "Speaking of kids, do you want to give McGee a call and see if we can get an update about Daniela and Jacob?"
She nodded. "You are sure you are not mad? I know that you want to have children of your own…"
"I'd rather have you in my life." He kissed her forehead softly. "Come on, let's fire up the computer and see what McGeek can tell us."
She smiled and pressed her lips softly against his. "I love you Tony."
He smiled. "I love you too, Zee."
#
"MCGEE….MCGEEEEEEE…EARTH TO TIM!"
McGee looked up at his computer and jerked back slightly at the sight of Tony's face pressed closed to the camera.
"Geez Tony, take a step back will you. Looks like you're trying to eat me." McGee frowned until Tony moved back from the camera.
"You wish McGiggle. Checking up on the kids. Have you talked to them at all?" He pulled Ziva into the picture.
"Actually we saw them last night. Daniela had a basketball game and Marguerite invited all of us to come and watch." McGee smiled. "It was a good game. They asked about you guys."
Ziva gave a soft smile. "I am glad that you got to go, even if we did not."
"We went out for ice cream after that."
Tony smiled and gave Ziva's hand a tight squeeze.
"So how is everything going in Israel?"
"Hot." Tony shrugged and gave Ziva a worried glance.
"Great answer DiNozzo." McGee rolled his eyes. "I'm going to take Daniela and Jacob to Star wars in concert on the weekend. I know that Jacob can't really appreciate it because he's deaf, but they have lots of displays and stuff for kids."
"Star Wars in concert? Damn it McGee, you're going to geekify my kids before we come back. I'm going to find them putting together computers and playing that online game. If my kid is an elf lord when I get back…"
"Calm down. Only Daniela plays the game…but she's an ice princess. Not an elf lord." He smiled innocently. "Oops, sorry, Gibbs is coming. I'll talk to you later." He closed the IM box and grinned to himself. That should be enough to send Tony for a loop until he got back.
#
Tony stared at the computer, closing it slowly. "Well…they're okay…if being stuck with McGee constitutes being okay." He said with a tight smile.
Ziva nodded mutely.
"Ziva…when we get back to the US, we're going to the doctor's. They have made advances in infertility treatments. And even if they can't do anything…we can always adopt more kids. It doesn't matter if they're mine, as long as we raise them with you…they'll be ours."
Her eyes filled with tears. "Are you sure? I mean…"
"I'm not going to lie and say that I never wanted kids that looked like me…or hell, for that matter kids that look like you. They'd be the most beautiful kids in the world if they looked like you. But I can't imagine not having you in my life. That's more important. Ziva, when I proposed to you, it wasn't just because you're hot. And you are hot. It wasn't because you're a scary ninja. It's because I love you. Honestly love you. I love everything about you, everything you can do, and the stuff you can't do. And if that means that you'll never be able to have my babies, then so be it. I didn't marry you because I wanted you to carry my babies. I married you because you're Ziva David. Because you're the most amazing, the scariest, the most beautiful woman I have ever met and I can't imagine a day that I'm not with you. I've tried and I shake myself out of it before it gets too far. I don't ever want to think about us being apart." He took a deep breath. "I'm rambling again, aren't I?"
Ziva smiled softly and nodded. "Yes, but I like it." She pulled him down onto the bed, and wrapped herself in his arms. "Keep talking. I like the sound."
He obeyed, talking about nothing and everything until both of them fell asleep, emotionally drained.
#
Tony woke up twice during the night. The first was to take a pee, and the second was just to make sure Ziva was okay. She was sleeping in an albeit fitful sleep, but she was sleeping none the less. He brushed a lock of her curly hair out of her face. He missed her curly hair, the way it was when they first met. It was wild and untamed, like her. She had relaxed in the years that passed, her fire while not extinguished was more controlled. And the addition of Daniela and Jacob only added to that control. She was perfect. She was Yang and he was Ying. She was fire, he was water. They were in this together, whatever this meant.
.