"I hate you," Raven mutters to the big pink bunny.
The last few hours have been excruciating. Starfire would take her hand and yank her all around the theme park, telling her to eat wieners to keep her strength up, making her attend 'the Q and the A' sessions with voice actors way too eager to answer questions about their characters, taking way too long in the bathroom, asking to take pictures with the grown men in plastic animal costumes...
Under any other circumstances, Raven would have literally reigned hellfire on this whole pony plastered thing…
But, for reasons even the mystic and supernatural cannot explain, she just doesn't have it in her to hurt Starfire's feelings by telling her enough is enough.
And it used to be so easy…
Even so, here she is yet again having her arm almost pulled out of socket just so Starfire can take a picture with a dude in a big pink bunny costume.
She giddily took what the earthlings call a selfie with the pathetic plastic character, and then the jerk- who is way too happy to be doing this for a living, politely asked Raven if she'd like a picture too.
With her signature rigid frown, she responded with the those three special words.
"I hate you."
Sadly, she isn't able to get any schadenfreude from the guy's true expression, because all she can see is his big stupid bunny helmet smiling at her like this is the Black Hole Sun video.
"Ooh! Raven!" Starfire suddenly blurts out.
"What is it now?" the other girl miserably moans.
"Look over there! Something extravagant is happening!" she gleefully hollers as she points out a crowd of people gathering around a stage.
Raven snarls. "If this is another Q&A, I swear I'm literally going to shove my foot up someone's-"
"Let us go see!" Starfire declares, once again taking Raven by the hand to whisk her away.
"Stop pulling me!" Raven cries, but Starfire is too much of a bliss to pay her any mind.
They get to the large crowd, and are able to scooch their way through until they can see just what has everyone so intrigued.
Lo and behold, a certain blue magician is wowing the crowd with some of his signature tricks.
"Thank you, thank you… You're all too kind," he says to his revering audience. "For my next trick, I'll need an assistant! Hmm… Let's see… Who can we pick on today…" he jokes, earning a little laugh from the crowd.
"Ooo! Ooo! I'll do it! I'll do it!" Starfire volunteers as she excitedly raises her hand up and jumps up and down.
"Starfire!" Raven scornfully says as she gets an opportunity to pull her to the side now. "That's Mumbo Jumbo!"
"So? He does not look to be participating in any deviant behaviors?" Starfire contends.
"So? He's a villain!" Raven retorts. "Besides… I don't want to draw any attention to us."
Mumbo Jumbo, Jump City's resident magician gimmick ne'er-do-well, scans the crowd until he sees Starfire and Raven.
"Starfire? Raven?" he says with surprise in his gait. "What are you two doing at a Pretty Pretty Pegasus convention?"
"I should be asking you the same thing, Mumbo," Raven accusingly states. "What are you planning this time? Are you going to raise an army of evil magic ponies?" she cynically, somewhat jokingly, adds.
Mumbo has the audacity to smile at her remark. Worse yet, it's not an evil smile. It's a happy smile.
"Oh dear Raven… See, some of us actually have to work for a living," he begins. "I'm not here to raise any armies or anything of the sort. I'm actually just here for a hefty paycheck. One that won't come with the agony and embarrassment of our usual encounters."
Raven narrows her eyes and folds her arms, making it clear she's not convinced. "Hmph. I have a hard time believing a criminal like you could get a gig at Pega-Con."
"So I fudged my background check. Big deal. Everybody does it nowadays," he casually tells her. "Why don't you come up here and be my assistant, and I can prove to you that my intentions are strictly professional."
"Shyeah. Fat chance," Raven denies with her usual monotone.
"Ooo! I will be the assistant!" Starfire clamors again.
Mumbo shrugs. "Sure." He then turns his attention back to the remaining audience. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage my new lovely assistant: Starfire!"
He invites her to take his hand and come up on stage, and she giggles as she accepts his offer. Raven just crossly watches on as she makes her way up on stage to join the Titans' former rival.
He smiles as he escorts Starfire over to a Goldin's Box for the classic "sawing a woman in half" trick. The members of the crowd clap, but Raven just keeps pouting to herself.
"Now everyone pay close attention," Mumbo begins. "My assistant is going to step inside of this box, and then I am going to saw her in half with this!" he announces as he reveals a ridiculously large saw from out of nowhere.
Everyone is impressed, including Starfire, who gets wide-eyed with anticipation. Raven, however…
"Lame. So lame," she moans. Some of the other patrons overhear her, and begin to laugh at Mumbo's expense.
He notices, but cheekily perseveres as he helps Star into the box. "Now, feast your eyes and open your minds! Though I may cut this woman in half right down the middle, she will come out completely unscathed!"
"You can't be serious?" Raven starts again. "What is this, 1940? Are you gonna tell us about your favorite radio stories next?" she wisecracks, earning laughter from even more patrons.
Now Mumbo gets a little annoyed, and he shoots a glare at Raven. However, the show must go on as they say, and he tries to get the crowd back on his side. "Behold! Abracadabra! Mumbo Jumbo!" he calls out before taking the saw and cutting down the middle of the box encasing Starfire.
It hardly proves to be fruitful though. Thanks to Raven and her snide commentary, the crowd has turned on the magician.
Once he completes his trick and strolls Starfire's "upper half" to side, he anticipates what he expects to be a roaring applause. His reaction is… lukewarm. Some people are nice and clap anyway, but most people either are walking away or looking at their smartphones. Two braver gentlemen work up the nerve to try and ask Raven for her phone number, but she scares them off with a hissing scowl.
Mumbo frowns, and looks to Starfire, who is smiling like an idiot even though her body is crammed inside of the Goldin's Box half.
"Did we blow their noses?" she giddily asks.
"What? It's blow their minds?!- Ahh… forget it," he bitingly responds.
Raven takes the stage with a condescending little grin. "Well, was that the best you could do? Some lame parlor trick everyone else has done before?"
Mumbo's nostrils flare as he glowers at the Azarathian. She simply ignores him as she makes her way over to Starfire.
"I was the lovely assistant!" she happily reminds her.
"Yes you were," Raven simply says. "Come on, we should probably be getting home now," she suggests before opening the box half and freeing the other girl.
Starfire takes her hand to help herself up, and Raven just kind of lets it happen without even really noticing at first. She doesn't get excited though, she just goes back to having fun at her rival's expense.
"Well, Mumbo… I'll admit I needed this after today," she says with the same smile as before. "Let me know the next time you're at the Harold Plotter convention so we can catch your next act."
Mumbo's forehead vein is protruding from the rage, but it ebbs as he dons a wicked smile.
"The show isn't over yet, Raven… I have one last trick up my sleeve…"
He takes out a black hat much like the one on his head, and he begins motioning his fingers at it with his free hand.
"Mumbo Jumbo!" he calls out before firing a blast of energy from his fingertips at the hat.
He then tosses it to the end of the stage, and Raven and Starfire watch on with wide eyes as they realize something bad is about to happen.
…
But, nothing does.
The three metahumans exchange puzzled looks, and Mumbo nervously rubs the back of his neck.
"Uhm… This never happens to me," he claims, and Raven just rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.
Then, belatedly, the hat begins shaking, and then flies up into mid-air. It just hovers at the same spot for a little while, and Raven positions herself into a fighting stance.
"Get ready, Starfire," she tells her fellow Teen Titan.
Starfire gets serious as she does the same, flaring up her fists with the energy that lies dormant inside of her.
Just then, a certain pathetic bunny costumed gentleman extemporaneously makes his way out of a port-o-potty and out onto the fairgrounds.
Mumbo glares at the man-rabbit, who looks back with his ridiculous smiling helmet.
"Alakazam!" Mumbo calls out as he points to the poor guy, and the floating black hat jets over to him. It takes a spot atop his helmet, and he begins convulsing as an aura of energy shrouds him.
He eventually stops though, and the aura slowly dissipates to reveal that the plastic bunny man has now become an actual living rabbit.
A very big, very angry looking rabbit.
Starfire gulps. "Raven… I do not think Mumbo wishes to blow our noses…"
"It's... minds…" Raven coyly responds, refusing to take her eyes off their soon to be opponent.
Back at Titan Tower…
Beast Boy and Cyborg have resumed their tabletop gaming, and Robin is browsing the web on his laptop.
"Uh! No way!" he suddenly cries.
"What's the matter?" Beast Boy asks him. When Cyborg turns to face Robin, Beast Boy moves one of his figures an inch to the left, for good measure.
"My favorite fiction author dropped this story halfway through… What a jerk!" he cusses.
Cyborg and Beast Boy snicker to one another.
"He reads… What a nerd!" Cyborg quips. Then he gets serious as they get back to their game. "Now, before we go again, I have to check the rulebook to see how many modifiers I need for this next roll."
Robin momentarily puts his depression aside to check the time. It's nearly an hour past noon, which is almost two hours since they've last heard from Raven and Starfire.
"Huh… I hope the girls are okay," he thinks aloud.
"Eh, I'm sure they're fine," Cyborg says.
"Yeah, Raven loves Princess Pony!" Beast Boy chimes in.
"I dunno… Does she really love anything? And I thought it was Pegasus Party?" Cyborg questions.
"Er, wait… It's My Little-"
"Well, Raven didn't sound too happy when we called her," Robin interrupts. "Maybe I should call them again and check in."
With that, he calls them up on his communicator…
…
But, Starfire and Raven are too busy firing ultraviolet lasers and opening interdimensional portals respectively because of the carny-turned-bunny villain.
…
"Huh," Robin thoughtfully utters. "No answer…"
He looks back to his friends, and they are too busy with their role-playing game to give him any attention.
He thinks over his next move for a moment as he looks back and forth between his communicator and the guys…
"I should probably go check on them," he decides. "But first I should get a refill. Gotta stay hydrated," he says as he shakes the empty cup on his desk.
He pulls himself out of his chair, and makes his way to the kitchen. However, he fails to account for the ottoman that is in his way, and he hits it with his shin.
SCREEEEK
"Ow, dang it," he utters, but the slight discomfort from the bone-to-furniture contact is nothing compared to the ungodly sound it makes from scooting along the linoleum floor.
"Yeesh, dude!" Beast Boy yelps as he covers his ears.
"You best not be over there scraping up the tile!" Cyborg scolds.
Robin looks down to the ottoman, and shakes his head.
"Man, that is a loud ottoman."
Back at the fairgrounds of the amusement park, Mumbo Jumbo safely watches on from the stage as his newest minion battles Raven and Starfire.
"Yes, gooood…" he says as he evilly rubs his hands together. "Those meddling Titans will soon be out of the way forever! No longer will they get in the way of my magic acts for… hefty paychecks…"
He stops his monologue to look around, remembering that before the Titans came along, he was performing for a bunch of grown men and women wearing Pretty Pretty Pegasus T-Shirts.
He face palms. "Where did I go wrong? I should've never went to that community college…"
Meanwhile, Raven is conjuring up one of her spells to start bombarding the bunny with miscellaneous Pony-plastered memorabilia.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"
As she finishes shouting those ritualistic words, the bunny looks to her to find a vendors' cart of wieners being flung in his face. The processed meat doesn't hurt so much, but the metal cart stings a bit.
He lets out a ferocious growl, and shoots Raven a look that could kill.
She dons a worried expression, and instinctively reaches out to summon more of her powers.
However, she then sees the bunny grabbing the same cart she threw at him, and her fight reflex makes way for her flight reflex.
The bunny tosses the cart with ease, aiming right for the gothic girl. She's able to fly away from its trajectory though, dodging what would've likely been a finishing blow.
However…
"Ahhhh!" Starfire cries out in pain.
Raven frantically looks around, and finds that the cart struck Starfire, sending her to the ground below.
"Starfire!" she cries.
The Tamaranian winces in pain and reflexively reaches her hand out. The impact proves to be too much for her, and she passes out.
Raven feels her heart sink as she realizes her friend has been hurt… But then, her feelings of remorse are subjugated by rage.
She turns to Mumbo Jumbo, her eyes literally glowing red as they've come to do in times of great distress.
The villain gulps. "Uh oh…"
"Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS!" Raven shouts, extending a psychokinetic tentacle from her arm. She wraps it around Mumbo, constricting him, and then begins to flail him around back and forth, smashing him on the canvas over and over again.
"Okay! OKAY! Enough! I give up!" he starts crying.
The big bunny starts trudging over to Raven now, but she shoots it the same dirty look she gave its master, and it decides to back off as it defensively raises its hands and does a backstep.
...
Then, through a crowd of fleeing citizens, the remaining Teen Titans: Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy all make the scene. They tread their way onto the fairgrounds, and discover the wounded Starfire.
"Starfire!" Robin cries, and he hurries over to her supine body.
She groggily convalesces, raising herself up to meet his gaze. "Nuhhh… What happened?"
"It's okay, Star. I'm here," Robin tells her as she cradles her in his arms, softly smiling down on her.
She reciprocates the smile…
Then burps.
"BRUH! Oh… Excuse me," she says with a giggle as she blushes. "Too many wieners…"
Beast Boy and Cyborg then turn their attention to the violence ensuing between Raven and Mumbo. Despite his pleas for mercy, she continues bashing him against the stage's hardwood like she's whacking a mole.
They cringe, and the bunny villain does the same from a comfortable distance away.
Finally, Beast Boy decides that Mumbo has probably had enough, and decides to intervene for his, and for Raven's sake.
"Raven… Raven!" he calls to her.
She finally snaps out of her demonic rage, her eyes returning to their usual shades of white and violet.
She looks all around her, seeing the way she's beaten Mumbo, seeing the way her friends look to her with worried eyes, and… seeing that Starfire is okay.
The initial feeling of remorse returns to her, and she unceremoniously drops Mumbo on the stage.
"Yow!" he cries one last time.
She then hurries over to Starfire, and Beast Boy and Cyborg cautiously follow.
"Starfire, are you okay? Say something," Raven says to her.
"I… I am fine. It is going to take more than a cart of breaded wieners to take me out," she weakly asserts with a smile.
The others all smile at this, but Raven can't. Beast Boy notices, and he rests a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"You good?" he asks her.
She glances at him, then looks back to Starfire. "Yeah, I'm alright," she answers. "I'm really sorry Starfire. It's my fault you were hit."
Robin helps Starfire to her feet, smiling and blushing all the while. The girl seems as chipper as ever though, apparently unharmed by the stunning blow from before.
She looks to Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy, and then to Raven. There's still a resonating guilt in her eyes, but… It slowly goes away. It's replaced by this… nice feeling. Starfire likes the way she looks at her like this.
And then, Raven smiles too.
Beast Boy coughs into his hand. "Uhm… So… Nice shirts," he quips, pointing out the Pretty Pretty Pegasus shirts being worn by the girls.
Raven sourly frowns as she slouches and crosses her arms, but Starfire pulls her into a tight side-hug.
"We are Pegasus pals!" she happily declares.
Raven really… really wants to be moody, and emo, and bitter, and depressed… But after spending so much time with Starfire, after seeing all of the things that make her such a great friend, and even the things that make her not so great…
After seeing her almost get hurt…
She can't help it. She has to let that little smile come back to her.
But, she can't let everyone think she's some sort of sap. And she definitely can't let them think she likes this stupid shirt. Because, she really doesn't.
"Uhm, I'm putting my cloak back on," she says to everyone.
"But, you don't have your-" Cyborg begins before she magically makes the cloak reappear from one of her portals, and she swiftly puts it on.
"Never mind."
With their reunion well done, they turn their attention back to today's villains. Bunny is just picking its nose and playing with the findings in its paw, and Mumbo is just a pathetic little mess of himself on the stage.
The Titans go over to him, and he uses what strength he has to wave his wand and fix himself back up.
He pitifully hunches over, and the Titans meet him with apathy.
"So, are we done here, Mumbo?" Raven asks him.
"Yes… We're done here," he glumly answers.
"Good. Now turn bunny guy back to normal," she continues.
He uses his wand to whisk up another little spell, transforming the grotesque bunny monster back into a lovable loser inside of a costume.
Once the transformation is complete, the dude takes off his helmet to reveal a vaguely familiar looking red haired gentleman, who then looks around with a dumbfounded expression.
"Woah…" he simply says before trailing off.
...
Mumbo then lets out a heavy, defeated sigh. "I suppose you'll be taking me off to jail now…"
The Titans all exchange thoughtful looks, but it's Starfire's initial shrug that starts a chain reaction of shrugging.
"We'll let you off this time, Mumbo," Robin says, "Even though I'm not quite sure what exactly happened here to begin with. Starfire, what exactly-?"
"Uhm, it's a long story," Raven interrupts.
It would appear that there is nothing left to say between the young heroes and villain, so the they simply decide to walk away and leave Mumbo to his sulking.
"That was awesome!" a young boy in a Batman shirt exclaims from not so far away.
"So cool! You made that all look so real!" a girl with a french braid and a blue bow in her hair adds.
They rush over the blue skinned magician, each holding out novelty items.
"Will you sign my sticker book?" the boy asks.
"Will you sing my bucket of chicken?" the girl follows.
Mumbo is stunned by the sudden attention, and becomes even more surprised to find that many other civilians are clapping and making their way over for autographs of their own.
He smiles, then looks to the Titans.
Despite their rivalry, the heroes can't help but smile back at the guy.
"Alright kids, form a single file line and I'll gladly sign your things. But first…" Mumbo says, and then he reaches behind the little girl's ear. "You have a quarter behind your ear!"
The fans laugh, and Raven rolls her eyes. Starfire playfully nudges her ribs with her elbow, and Raven rolls her eyes again, but for a much different reason.
The same reason she couldn't stay mad at her this morning, the same reason she couldn't get mad at her for bringing her here to Pega-Con, and the same reason she can't help but blush and smile again…
She isn't sure just what the reason is, but she does know one thing.
It's because of Starfire.
I have some bad news… I'm cancelling this fic.
JUST KIDDING :D Sorry, I just couldn't resist haha. I have a warped sense of humor.
Now for actual AN's.
This actually isn't the first story where I've had girls who shoot stuff out of their fingers fighting a big pink bunny XD. Check out my Loud House/Silent Hill fic that totes makes me a hypocrite for always dogging on darkfics.
If anyone laughs at the "for good measure" pun, I'll kiss you. I'll try and get a little less stupid with my jokes and focus on the actual plot going forward, but it's pretty hard not to be silly when life is typically miserable.
Okay, so, I'm not sure how many chapters there will be for this whole story, but I can tell you that… I like to milk things for their worth XD. (Refer to slow burn tag, people). We're shifting into another gear with the next chapter though, so stay tuned for that. I promise to actually finish this story, and that's coming from a guy who never makes promises.
Thanks as always for reading, and please stay tuned for more, true believers.
...
PS. If there are any Star Vs. The Forces of Evil fans reading this, check out "Lucky Number Thirteen" by Heitomos. It's a very fluffy read that's worthwhile, and somewhat similar to what's going on here;)