"Adam, are you alright?"
Her voice cut through the buzzing in his ears just a little and he looked up, blinking hard.
"I think… something's wrong."
She rushed to him, seeing the look on his face, registering his hand up at his shoulder.
"What is it?"
"Heart's beating fast," he managed to spit out, feeling her cool hand on the back of his neck.
"Is it a panic attack?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Any pain?" she asked, guiding him down to the couch.
"Just the headache."
Her fingers pressed gently to his neck, finding his pulse racing. It wasn't presenting exactly like a heart attack and she pushed all thoughts of her dads heart troubles out of her mind as she reached for the phone.
"You okay?" she asked again, wondering if the color was really coming back to his cheeks or if she was wishing it.
"I'm good. You don't have to call…"
"Yes I do. Are you dizzy?"
"A little."
She nodded and continued with the call, avoiding emergency lines and calling straight through to the nurse line instead. She was advised to get him to the hospital for monitoring, and to call if there was any downturn on the way.
"I'm sorry babe," he muttered, once she'd hung up the phone. "I think I took on too much."
"I've been telling you that for two years," she stated simply, grabbing her keys. "I don't think staying up for three days to finish your dissertation really helped things along."
She didn't want to be too harsh, but part of her wasn't surprised this was happening. Between work, the house, the kids, the marriage, worrying about Hannah, dealing with emotions from the death of his father, and finishing up his PhD, it's no wonder that things were displaying in a physical manner.
"Ready to go?"
"I'm really fine Linds."
"I know you think that and I agree that this is probably just stress, but I love you too much to risk it. Let's go."
She helped him up, reaching up to check his pulse, which was still fast, but closer to safe than it had been ten minutes ago. He was still breathing hard and she took a moment to hug him hoping that she could chase away whatever had triggered this.
"Still dizzy?"
"Yeah."
She nodded and helped him out to the car, reclining his seat slightly. He rolled his eyes at her concern, but didn't protest otherwise.
"You okay?" she asked, starting the car and glancing over at him.
"I'm fine, babe. I swear."
She grabbed his wrist and checked his pulse again, finding it just as fast as it had been last time.
"If you were fine you'd have more color in your face. How much coffee have you had?"
"To be honest, I stopped with the coffee yesterday. It wasn't helping anymore."
"You have a week until the dissertation is due, why are you stressing out now?"
"I didn't want to have to work on it while we were on our trip."
"Oh Adam," she sighed, watching the road for a moment before glancing at him. "Babe, you don't have to take on so much. You could have worked on it on our trip, I wouldn't have minded."
"I know, but I didn't want it hanging over my head."
"Why didn't you go down to part time at work?"
"We need the money, Linds. The basement isn't paid off and we had the car problems and the water heater. I couldn't just quit working."
"I know," she sighed, stroking her fingers over his palm to try and soothe him. "It's bad timing, I'll agree. But I think you need to be willing to ask the rest of us to sacrifice a little more so you don't have to as much. It's gotta be more even, alright?"
"I get it."
"How're you feeling?"
"Heart's still racing. I feel more relaxed but I think I overloaded on the caffeine. I'm not twenty years old anymore."
"No, you're not. You're gonna be fine, but promise me you're going to stay fine."
"I know. I will."
"Daddy is just fine, I promise."
"But he went to the hospital!" Avery shouted, scrubbing angrily at her eyes. "And you did not take us!"
"You were in school, Averylin-"
"But he is our daddy and we shoulda been there for him!"
"Aves, if mama says he's fine, then he is. We don't have to worry."
"But I want daddy! I want to take care of him so most!"
"I know, baby. He's coming home in the morning, they just want to keep him overnight and check a few things, let him get some rest."
"Is daddy old?"
"No baby, daddy is just stressed out. He overworked himself. It won't happen again, he promised."
"Can we call him tonight or is that forbidden in the hospital?"
"It's just fine to call him tonight. Now, I have to go grab a few things from upstairs. Do you have any other questions?"
"What is it called, what happened to daddy?"
"They're called heart palpitations and it's when your heart starts beating wrong. Luckily daddy is healthy and strong so we don't have to worry that there's anything bad going on. Okay?"
"Okay mama."
She headed upstairs and could sense Ben following her. She knew his silence was huge and she waited until he'd followed her into the bedroom to turn around and open her arms to him.
"Oh mama!" he sobbed, hugging her around the waist and burying his face in her chest. "I was so scared!"
"I know baby. I was too."
"Will this happen to daddy again?"
"We don't know. It might, but we know exactly what to do if it does. He's going to be just fine, Benjamin. I promise you."
"I know that but it hurts my heart a lot, to think of daddy not doing so well."
"Me too. And I can't tell you not to worry, because I know you will. I just want you to know that the worrying won't help, it will only make you more upset."
"It is a waste of time to worry huh?"
"A little."
"I will try not to. Are you gonna spend the night at the hospital?"
"Yeah. Hannah will stay here with you guys and daddy and I will be home in the morning."
"Boy, this isn't how you wanted to spend your fifteenth anniversary, huh mama?" he asked, pulling away and giving her a wry smile.
"You know what? As long as I have daddy and you kids, nothing else really matters much. We're a family and that's all I need."
"I'm glad for that."
"Me too."
"Want to help me pack a few things? I need to pick out some comfortable clothes for daddy to come home in tomorrow."
"Yeah, okay. I guess I could pick him out some sweats and his favorite Batman t-shirt."
"Thanks honey."
"Mama?"
"Yeah?"
"Happy anniversary."
"Thank you sweetheart."
They packed in silence and he hefted the bag down the stairs, relating a few stories about his day at school as he went. She smiled as she watched him, growing up so fast but still like that little boy who would nuzzle in against her neck when he needed to feel safe. The kids were growing so fast and she and Adam were getting old. Life marched on and there was no way to slow it down.
"Okay kids, I'll call you when I get back to daddy's room and you can take turns talking to him."
"I wanna go first because I am his onliest little girl!" Avery hollered, shooting her hand in the air. "The boys can duke it out for second."
"That sounds fine. Now come give me a hug and kiss to give to daddy."
They did as they were told, scampering back to the couch to find something on TV.
"You're okay staying here Han?"
"Yeah, it's fine. Just tell him if he does this again, I'm gonna kick his butt."
"I'll pass that along. Call me if you need anything."
"I will."
Lindsay left the house and drove back to the hospital, finding a spot in the parking garage and taking the overnight bag up to Adam's room. The color had returned to his face, his breathing and heart rate were normal, and he looked no worse for the wear, save for the bruises on his arm where they'd drawn blood.
"Hey babe. How are you doing?"
"Better. The doctor just left, he said all of my tests were normal and he thinks it was stress and too much caffeine. He's ordering me off work for a week, no hard labor. He also said I need to make an appointment with the primary doctor and start getting physicals on a regular basis."
"And you will this time, Adam Ross."
"I will, I promise."
"Are they still keeping you overnight?"
"Yeah, they want to do another non-stress test at the twelve hour mark, so we're here for a while yet."
"And your blood work?"
"Everything is normal, but my cholesterol is a little high. I've been ordered to meet with a nutritionist."
"We've done diet changes before, we can do it again," she shrugged, sitting down on the bed and leaning into him. "A week off will be easy enough, you already took most of that off for our trip. And your dissertation is done and sent so you have nothing else to worry about. We'll have a few extra days of family time and then we'll get out of dodge. And you won't think about anything of consequence, alright?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Now, your offspring love you very much and want nothing more than to talk to you."
He grinned and nodded.
"No problem."
She handed him his phone and sat back in the chair while he made the call, tuning out what he was saying and instead letting his happy voice soothe the worry that still rattled around in her soul. He was fine and everything was going to be okay.