She kind of missed dating Beast Boy.

Not enough to be considered pining or anything, or even still having romantic feelings for him, but she still missed it a little. It was nice knowing someone was there to hold hands with, or tell her she's beautiful, or just know that they'd be thinking about her.

It's easier to forget about when she's battling a supervillain or reading one of her spell books, but when she's at a park where couples tend to gather for picnics and snow cones, it makes her feel somewhat amiss.

"Raven," Starfire says, bringing her back to reality.

She responds with just an acknowledging look.

"Did you hear me?" Starfire asks.

"Uhm, no… Sorry. I kind of zoned out."

Starfire actually giggles. "You must pay more attention," she playfully teases.

Raven amusedly huffs. "What did you say?"

Starfire points to the bridge suspended over a small pond. "I would like to take a momentary recess in the shade," she repeats.

"Oh… Alright," Raven complies, and she follows her to the bridge.

They make way to the railing, where Starfire leans against it and looks to the water. After a moment to get comfortable, Raven places her hands on it, not quite leaning, but just making her own comfortable little niche here.

She too looks into the water, and sun shines on it in just the perfect way, really accentuating how vibrant and full of life it is. There are some coy swimming inside, and even they seem to somehow be happy with just how nice things are with their graceful ebb and flow.

"This has been such a lovely walk. I love this kind of weather," Starfire comments, finally ungluing her eyes from the water to look at her companion.

Raven looks to her too, but almost embarrassingly turns away. For some reason, the way she smiles at her makes her feel so anxious, like if she reciprocates the gesture, she'll wrap her into a great big hug that will pop her head off or something saccharine like that.

That… wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but still…

"It's… been a good day," Raven agrees.

And for a moment, they're both quiet. Starfire admires the world around her, almost radiating with a warm glow because she's so bright.

Which has to explain why Raven can't help but only admire her.

"God, this is so weird," she thinks to herself. There was a time when she would literally use thoughts of Starfire not being happy to balance her emotions. The love of 'the kitties' was annoying, her constant misunderstanding of earthly behavior was migraine inducing, and her laugh was loud, obnoxious, and infuriating.

But here lately, here now… her compassion for life is favorable. Her innocent ignorance is somehow charming. And her laugh is actually… cute.

She was certainly right before. Starfire is a strong, beautiful woman. She may be caring, but she is still a fighter. She reminded her of this earlier with the skeevy guys. She's never afraid to do battle with even the worst of villains, especially as a service to her friends, and she would actually do anything for them. Not the expression, no. She would literally put her life on the line for the people she loves.

And yet, how does she feel? When she thinks of Raven, what does she say to herself? Has she noticed how things are changing too? Or is it all somehow just her imagination?

"Starfire…" Raven begins, cutting through the now palpable silence.

"Hmm?" Starfire simply responds.

"What do you think of me?" Raven asks her.

"What do I think of you?" she questions.

"I mean… when you think of me, what do you think about?"

Starfire thinks it over for a moment, then puts her smile back on.

"Well, I think you are very smart. You always know just what to say. I also admire your collected nature. I know that my excitement can sometimes be frustrating for others, but you are always so… what is the word?…"

Raven laughs the faintest little laugh. "I know what you're saying," she answers. "I'm sorry if I've made you feel bad before. About being so happy all the time," she belatedly adds. "There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong at all."

"Thank you," Starfire warmly tells her.

They look out to the water again, but Raven shamefully feels the need for more. There just wasn't quite enough there to make any of these feelings and thoughts any more sensible.

"What else?... What else do you think about me, I mean," she says with trepidation.

Starfire thinks again before speaking. "Well… You have been a very good friend to me all these years. You have always been there for me when I've needed you, even when it was inconvenient. You are also quite funny with some of your wisecracks about Beast Boy," she lists off.

A smile encroaches on Raven's face now. "Really?"

"Oh yes," Starfire assures her as if it isn't even a question, "You have such a way with words. You make me feel… good about myself. The other day when I needed a friend, you were most helpful. I truly appreciate it."

Now Raven can't stop smiling, and she can't stop gazing at her. The anxious feeling that's been nagging inside of her begins to feel more comfortable, more welcome with every passing second. She's getting eager to do something about it.

Starfire takes great care in making sure she's covered everything, wearing a thoughtful expression as she does so. But again, her smile comes back, and she comes up with something she feels is a sufficient conclusion to her description of all things Raven.

"Hmm… Yes. I would also gladly tell you that you are a strong, beautiful woman. The strongest and most beautiful I have ever known."

And just like that, Raven feels like time around them has frozen, and that the only thing that matters is Starfire. Her heart is racing, her cheeks are flushed…

"Do you really mean that?" she quietly asks.

"I do," Starfire surely, almost powerfully answers.

Their eyes lock, and the temptation to do something about that warm, welcome feeling reaches fever peach. With just the smallest hesitation, Raven takes her hand and cups Starfire's chin with her finger. Then, she boldly stares into those magical green eyes of hers one last time before closing her own…

She pulls her into a kiss.

In the moment that their lips touch, she feels absolute bliss. There's no need to balance her emotions, not when the only one that takes precedence is happiness. Starfire's lips are so soft, so tender. They even manage to taste good. Her soft skin touching her little finger is smooth, and all of the pheromones lingering around her are intoxicating. She could almost tremble at the touch, the smell, the taste… the rush…

At last, she breaks the kiss, desperate to look into the eyes of her new inamorata.

What she comes to find as she opens her eyes is the look of someone absolutely stunned.

It sends a sinking feeling to her chest, like what little bit of hope she had just begun to cherish has been crushed.

But she says nothing. She just waits for Starfire to react.

"What was that?" she asks, evidently confused.

Raven almost fumbles her words as she lets out, "Uhm… It was a kiss."

"I know that," Starfire politely responds, "I just do not understand why you would kiss me. I was under the impression that a kiss is to be shared among those who share great affection, particularly that of a man and a woman."

There have been times in Raven's life where she's experienced rejection, but nothing quite like this. Starfire isn't a demigod from another dimension that she despises. She isn't the pretty face of a passer-by either. She is something somewhere in between, in a way.

She's her best friend, the individual she trusts the most, the one she thinks the highest of. When things get tough, she's the first person she depends on to have her back, even when it's life or death. Maybe there was a time that Beast Boy was that someone, and sure, her other fellow Titans are family… But Starfire…

She wasn't supposed to hurt her.

Of course she didn't mean to; how could she when she can't even fathom what the kiss was supposed to mean? It's not her fault.

The estranged look in her eyes that she gives her now, it pains her. It's not at all what she'd want to see, like another bright, shining smile, or even a kiss in return.

But, it's not anger either. It's not disgust. It's nothing that indicates she's just absolutely ruined everything between them. In fact, there's room for a smooth recovery.

"Raven?" Starfire utters, still looking to her with those piteous green eyes.

"Well… That's the thing," Raven begins. "That… that was a friend kiss…"

"A friend kiss?" Starfire curiously questions.

"Yeah, a friend kiss," Raven continues, swallowing her pain hard. "Sometimes, friends will kiss each other just… just to show they care. Like, how I did just now."

"I'm still not quite sure I understand. I have never heard of this 'friend kiss,'" Starfire admits.

"Well, that's because they don't happen a lot," Raven furthers as she nervously, almost shamefully rubs the back of her neck. "They're supposed to be special that way."

"I see," Starfire replies. "So I should return one to you, yes?" she says, almost initiating the gesture.

Raven defensively motions her to stay though. "No, it's okay," she answers. One awkward kiss of unrequited love was enough.

"Alright," Starfire sorrowfully responds. "But why now? You have never mentioned the friend kiss before, and I am not sure what I have done to deserve it."

It's almost magic how she does it. Just when Raven wants to give up and shut down, Starfire finds a reason to make her come out of her shady old shell, to share the best of herself.

"You've done plenty to deserve it, trust me," she starts with a slowly steadying smile. "These past few days, you've just been… amazing company. I'm really happy that you're my friend."

Starfire finally seems to come to some sort of understanding as she smiles back. "Well, I am very happy that you are my friend, as well Raven."

There's some bittersweet satisfaction in knowing things can move forward. Evidently, she doesn't feel the same attraction to Raven that she does her. If she did, she wouldn't have had to lie.

But, all things considered, it can all be left behind on this bridge. She can live the rest of her days knowing that, at least she tried.

"We should let the others know about the pirate movies now. Unless you would like to continue walking?" Starfire suggests.

"Yeah, she should probably head back now," Raven answers with a soft smile to tell Starfire, and maybe herself, that things are just fine.

With that, they head back the way they came, ready to reconvene with the others. As she pulls up her communicator to page them though, she realizes something.

As great as Starfire is, she also has a big mouth.

"Uhm, Starfire?" Raven speaks up.

"Yes?"

"Please don't tell the others I kissed you."

"Why not?" the Tameranian asks.

"Well… That's part of what makes the kiss so special. It can just stay between us, and we don't have to tell anyone else about it."

"I understand," she gladly says back, and Raven gives her one last little smile before pressing forward.

She puts the hood of her cloak over her head, doing her best to stay ahead of the other girl just enough that she can hide all of the conflicting emotions. It's just something she'll have to work through, and she knows that.

It can't stop her from feeling the pain though.

…

With every step forward though, Starfire can't help but become perplexed. Maybe she still doesn't fully understand after all.

"Hmm… Friend Kiss…"

What huuuuurts the most… Relax, baby. I'm here for you…

Okay, so for real, I'm super excited to get to the second act of this story. All my other stories waited until the last couple chapters for face sucking, and I wasn't even going to do it with Wanderers until I got bullied by two smelly jerks about it.

I digress. I told y'all I was shaking things up this time, and I meant it! Sure there's going to be plenty of "female character doubts herself" still to come, but it'll be great, or my name isn't James! (Wait…)

Anyway, this was a fun chapter for me, and I hope it was for you guys and girls too. Happy Pride month, thanks for reading, and hopefully you'll stick around for more of my fluffy pillow smothering.