Author's notes: This part takes place during 2x12 - 2x18.

9. Love

"I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more." | Angelita Lim

"Oh, and there's one other thing… It's so simple yet very, very critical. You can never tell Lauren that you're doing this."

"Why not?"

"Because the nail can only be removed if the person making the request has got complete and utter selfless love which is then exemplified by performing a life changing favor for someone without them ever being aware of it. I don't make up the rules but you must accept this as fact or you will not be successful."

Love. Was it that obvious? So obvious that even Lachlan could see the depth of what she felt? Bo swallowed. She told him she would do it. She would free Nadia from her curse because it was the right thing to do because that's how Bo lived, but dammit if this one didn't sting. Between Fae travel agencies, pretas and shamans clinging to life by a mask, Bo was really frigging sick of today.

So when Lachlan finally gave her the go ahead to see Lauren, Bo's heart thudded in her throat as she rushed through the compound. It had been days since they had seen each other and Bo wondered if Lauren was as uneasy about their disconnect as she had been. She climbed the stairs two at a time and rounded the corner to the lab. Passing it, she headed for Nadia's stasis chamber. She held her breath as she passed through the doorway to find Lauren with Nadia, kissing. It was worse than anything Bo had let herself consider. It hurt. Air was harder to pull into her lungs as she watched their reunion and wondered if Lauren felt the same about her.

They were too into each other to notice Bo hanging in the doorway, frozen in fear, in sadness, and in heartbreak. She turned and left the compound as fast as her feet would carry her. She could not see Lauren now, maybe not ever-okay, that was and exaggeration-but Bo definitely couldn't see her now, with her lips are full and rosy from their kisses or her ecstatic expression. It was too much to think about much less actually see with her own eyes so she moved quickly, silently, and with urgency to the safety of her car. Bo gasped for air and held her hand over her heart. She knew when she offered to help Lauren that it would be difficult, she just never considered how difficult and now that she was speeding up the hill to lookout point by herself Bo had time to think about that decision.

She said it herself at the outset: "This will change everything." And now that it had, Bo realized she did not have a back up plan, as usual, she was adrift in her own misery and she had no way of expressing what she had given up for Lauren. She couldn't-wouldn't-cry. This was a mess of her own making-but what were the options? She had fallen for Lauren well before she revealed she had a girlfriend. So what? Did she actually think that she would not help Lauren? That, to keep Lauren close, she would deny that she could help? It wasn't who Bo was and she could feel Lauren's pain oozing out from the moment they met and once she found out what-or who-it was that was causing her pain, Bo was bound and determined to right the wrong even if that meant sacrificing her own happiness for Lauren's. Sometimes doing the noble thing was unthinkable, but sometimes, so was the alternative.

She spent hours at lookout point reminiscing about their past and ruminating on their future, it was a classic example of the Rubik's cube. Every action-or twist of the cube-had repercussions that would ripple through the cube and change every outcome. Her problem was not dissimilar in that every avenue she might've taken would've been equally distorted by her decision to save Nadia.

When she walked in her front door to find Kenzi's birthday surprise, Bo had to admit she was more than a little surprised, not because she didn't think Kenzi wasn't inventive enough to pull it off, but more that it seemed like everyone had forgotten about it and that was in keeping with how her day-her birthday-was going.

She wasn't ready to see her. In fact, she had just spent the last four hours running from her and now, mother-of-Fae, she looked amazing… and so did Nadia. She turned and waded through her friends who clamored to be around Nadia, too. Bo dropped onto the couch unceremoniously and sighed. And in a blink, Lauren was walking toward her. With each step she grew closer and Bo tensed. She was tender already when Lauren gave her the most impersonal gift of the night. She wasn't expecting a ring or even a bracelet but throwing stars didn't rate as a gift given to someone who had done the things they had done together. She didn't have trouble identifying what she felt-disappointment, pure and simple. And how that was possible, Bo wasn't sure. She was not a greedy soul and despite not expecting gifts, she found herself expecting that the gifts she did receive (unexpectedly) would be Bo-appropriate, not a platitude of friendship or crestfallen love.

So what Bo did next made perfect sense… in Opposite Town. Sulking, Bo nursed a glass or red wine alone on the couch until she saw Lauren weaving her way through the people clustered in her living room. Bo sat up straight as Lauren settled beside her again.

"Did you have a good birthday?" Lauren smiled in that disarming way that she had mastered.

"Yeah," Bo lied, her voice breathless from the effort. "Big surprise."

"Was it?" She cocked her head and Bo could swear Lauren was flirting with her. Bo looked at Nadia to see if she had noticed.

"I was grateful for the invitation." She followed Bo's stare to Nadia. "I hope you don't mind that I brought Nadia…"

"Lauren…" Bo stalled, trying to settle her emotions. "Of course it's okay."

"I wanted to talk to you…"

"Oh?"

"I'm going away with Nadia."

Panic flooded Bo's system. "Where? Why?"

"We need to get away, to reconnect."

"Oh," she said again, this time her disappointment barely veiled.

"Are you feeling okay? You don't seem like yourself tonight."

She smiled. "I'm tired" She put her hand on Lauren's leg. "It's been a long day." Lauren glanced at Bo's hand and she pulled it away. "Sorry."

"Bo, I-" Bo could see her struggling with the words and she cringed internally at which words were meant for her.

"You should take my car."

"What?"

"The Camaro. I can get around for a few days without it. You should take it."

"Bo, I don't know…"

Locked together in a devastating look of intention, they were lost in the moment, surrounded by others and yet removed from them completely. The floorboards creaked and Bo disengaged.

Nadia stood in front of them. "Happy birthday, Bo."

"Nadia, hey…" She fumbled. "Thanks for coming."

"Lauren has told me so much about you, I feel like I know you already."

Bo smiled-she wished she could say the same-and nodded. There were no words then, just terror. Nadia smiled down on her like a coma angel and Lauren watched them both like one of her experiments. When the silence and side eyes became too much, she spoke up. "Ready to go, sweetie?" Lauren blurted before the awkwardness swallowed them whole. She stood and took Nadia's hand.

"Yeah, sure." Nadia didn't look away from Bo.

Bo hesitated, standing finally when their three-way-staring-contest became unbearable. "Have a good night."

Lauren smiled reluctantly as she turned away. Bo sagged as she watched them leave together and the melancholy returned.

She exhaled. "Happy frigging birthday to me."

"I'm not gonna call you while I'm gone and I don't want you to call me either."

"Why does it feel like I'm never gonna see you again?"

It felt like a breakup. The sad way Lauren looked at her, the fact that Lauren made Nadia wait outside and artificial distance that kept her more than an arm's length away were all a brutal thank you, whether Lauren knew it or not. When Bo agreed to free Nadia's nail she knew it must be selfless but she had no idea of how that would really feel when it was done. Now that her heart felt like it had been trampled by a pack of unicorns, Bo had other ideas. She wanted to scream at Lauren not to go, that she had awakened Nadia and for what? To make her happy. And she was at least marginally happy from what Bo could tell. And Lachlan warned her. Shit. She hated when the fates conspired against her, but more than that, Bo just hated when things didn't go her way.

And right now she was going the wrong way on a one way street. No really, she was in her head and the taxi she was in was on the wrong side of the road. A horn blared. She was racing toward the compound. Lachlan had tricked her and Lauren both and the rage she felt was fed not only by her love of Lauren but also being made to feel foolish. He had used her-not only to accomplish something he could misrepresent as his own good deed, but also to re-enlist Lauren, and that last bit was the deal breaker. It was one thing to use Bo but it was another to use a Human, especially one that Bo was fond of.

The cab's tires screeched into the intersection. When Bo had told this guy to drive like the wind, she really didn't think he would take her so seriously. Trick had forbid her from going after Lachlan and she did as Trick asked, she cooled it on the Lachlan rage long enough to get his ring but now it was Bo's turn. She gave the driver a twenty dollar tip. "There's more if you wait."

"I've recommitted myself to the Ash. He saved Nadia's life. I owe him everything."

Bo was still seeing red over Lauren's recommitment to the Ash. Four hours after Lauren had reassured her that she would return by dropping the A-bomb, Bo still couldn't believe that she had helped trap Lauren for good. She wanted only to free Lauren, to watch her flourish, and now she had served her up to the Light Fae, the opportunistic assholes that they were.

She would fight for her and Lachlan wouldn't see it coming. At least that was the plan until she found a box of heads and Lachlan got the jump on her. He was a crafty swordsman and Bo had her hands full with him before their sudden truce. He had no clue why Bo was fighting him, just that she wanted him dead-the reason was inconsequential. In the end, Lauren's status was tabled until they could stave off the great evil coming their way. It's always something. Both she and Lauren had big parts to play and at least that meant they'd be playing those parts together.

By the time Lauren returned her car, Bo had found other ways to fill her time. Ryan was a chauvinistic dick but he made her heart hurt less. She convinced herself she was over Lauren after the absurdly short time. Until Lauren walked into her arms, and Bo was astonished what she still felt-what she never stopped feeling. Distraction was distraction was distraction and as much as she wanted to be blameless and painless, she couldn't pretend that she was either.

And now Lauren was never alone with Nadia was permanently affixed to her side, Bo wondered what was the use of being together if they could never be alone, together? And all she could hear echoing in her brain was a whisper that said: careful what you wish for. Close enough to touch but not close enough to keep. It was the story of Bo's life.

Just like Dyson, just like Lauren, just like Ryan and anyone else she ever considered getting serious with. She was a Succubus who feeds on sex. But that was the joke-it couldn't ever be with the same person. Bo was the queen of short term relationships and while some might find that exciting, being a Succubus was exciting enough. She wanted someone to come home to after the brawling was done. She wanted a little slice of domesticity in whatever form that took. Kenzi had Nate now and Bo felt her loneliness acutely.

So when she worked her first case with Lauren back, it felt right again. She felt right again. The high school was a hive of activity and as a fake teacher, not only did Bo have students and other teachers buzzing around her but also her own undercover team infiltrating it. In a busy hall between periods, Bo bounced between Kenzi, Dyson, Ryan, and Lauren, who had pulled her into a janitor's closet.

She shut the door swiftly behind Bo. "What is it about you and janitor's closets?"

Lauren looked down at the crime scene case she had in her hand and smiled. "I just didn't feel like I could say what I needed to say out there."

Bo looked at her seriously. "Oh."

"Bo…" Lauren set the case down and took at step forward. The incredibly small space of the closet felt smaller as she inched closer. "I missed you."

"Lauren… is this a good idea?"

She shook her head. "I don't know what to do…"

"And cornering your ex-lover in a janitor's closet was somehow not the direction you were supposed to take…?"

"Ex-lover?"

"Aren't I? I mean, aren't we?"

Lauren sighed. "I thought that this was fate. I should have told you about Nadia sooner and given you the choice of whether you wanted to continue this…thing…between us… But Bo…" She extended a hand and caressed Bo's collarbone. "I was afraid of what you might say."

Bo closed her eyes and covered the hand with her own. Her touch was sublime and Bo couldn't deny that she didn't want Lauren to move on without her either. "It's not every day someone tells a girl they think they're fated. I should be flattered, shouldn't I?" Bo stuttered.

"I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that," Lauren breathed. Her fingers were in Bo's hair and she was leaning into her, tasting the sweetness of her lips.

Bo's fingers curled around Lauren's waist as their kiss deepened. Desperation set in swiftly and Bo was pressing Lauren against the door. Her kiss was hot and unpredictable, and the improvised nature of her touch sent shockwaves through her body. Bo felt her intentions balanced on a razor's edge. She could remain the kind-hearted do-gooder that helped because it was the right thing to do or she could be the other woman who broke up a relationship that's been on life support for five years or longer. Bo wasn't thrilled by either prospect right that second, with Lauren pressed against her, hands roaming the tight-tight suit Bo wore.

"Lauren-" Bo tore her mouth away from Lauren's. "I can't…" Lauren stumbled backwards, as Bo fumbled with the doorknob and pulled open the door, disappearing into the crowded hallway from whence they came.

It was hours after she had danced with Ryan before telling him goodbye and Bo was exhausted. Kenzi was back to normal thanks to Lauren (as usual) and Bo had managed to avoid any more awkwardness with her before the case was solved. These two things were assuredly related. It was rejection that pushed her into Ryan Lambert's waiting arms in the first place. He was thrilled to have a succubus to play with and she was just glad he didn't remind her of a certain blonde doctor. Not even a bit. He made her feel special and wanted and he looked at her with a sense of wonder. And maybe, had she not been preyed on in the janitor's closet, Bo might not have called it off with him. But the truth was, any way she sliced it, Bo was just biding her time and Ryan was the perfect distraction. At least until he tried to Fae roofie her into marriage-that was the breaking point for Bo. Truth was-light or dark-Ryan wasn't right for Bo. His interest began and ended with her Fae and Bo had been down that road before with Dyson. She thought it ran deeper with him but Dyson shut her out and in order to protect her feelings, Bo had no other choice than to think that it was all a sham.

And then there was Lauren… and Lauren cared but she also lied. And it wasn't a lie of an innocuous sort either, these were major withholdings. And as much as Bo liked the chase, she had to consider Lauren's motives. And that's where the confusion came in. Lauren's aura was honest and true and Bo believed her when she said "I want you." Most of all, she considered what she would do were their situations reversed and Bo thought her playbook was pretty sound after all. She felt alive in Lauren's embrace and it wasn't something she took lightly. The Garuda was coming for them and now more than ever, she wanted that feeling of serenity. She needed to be at her best if she is going to lead the Ash's army into battle and the succubus' preferred method of doing that is sex. And right now Bo's craving was not just for nameless, faceless encounter, instead, her craving was much more pointed. She wanted Lauren. And there wasn't anything or anyone that could deter her.

TBC