CHAPTER TWO.

Everything about the day was unbearable. The sun shone too bright into Elena's eyes, people were too cheery for her down psyche. She didn't smile or laugh once, there was no joy in it… Today was going to be a sombre day for Elena. She was wearing her favourite sweater, not because it was fashionable, but because it brought her a sense of peace. It was one her mother had bought for her. It had become tattered at the hemline, and had shrunk a bit with the hundreds of washes it had been through, but she wore it any ways, like a portable security blanket. It brought her closer to her dead family, and that was something that she needed today. Closeness.

She got out of Jenna's four door sedan, pulled her sweater close to her body, and marched towards the front doors. These halls had become like a scrapbook of memories to her. Some she wanted to forget and others that she revelled in constantly. She remembered the first time she had stepped foot into the Mystic Falls high-school. She had been with her mother she remembered, her hand had held tightly to the crook of her elbow in quivering fear and anticipation. The reverie led her to the gymnasium, which currently was packed full for a volleyball tournament, but at the time, had been vacant as her mother took her on a private tour of the school.

"And this will be the place where you'll go to assemblies and watch basketball games," Her mother said leading her through the doors, "I was never one for the games myself- I never understood the need for such competition…" They walked through the big and heavy gym doors and out into another vacant hallway.

"This was where my locker was when I went here… I'm sure now it's been used by an abundance of teenagers, but it will always be mine in a sense. Just like no matter what Elena, you will always be my baby girl."

Elena found herself standing there at the locker her mother had pointed out. Her mom had been right, the locker had been used by hundreds of kids since it had been hers... Almost six people in the last semester alone. Elena could think of how she watched all the vagrant teenagers defile the one place that would always, no matter what be her mothers. She ran her fingers along the face of the locker, imagining that behind it was her mother's old things.

She missed her mother most of all. Of course she had Jenna but there was still so much different about them. And while Jenna was a fabulous mother figure, she still did not completely fill the void of mother. Elena continued on her way through the halls searching for her friends… But neither Caroline nor Bonnie could be found, and for some reason that troubled Elena. They knew didn't they, what today was?

If anyone noticed Elena's clearly depressed posture, no one came to her rescue, no one approached her, and no one offered condolences. No one cared – Why should they? It wasn't like her loss affected their life… She would always be poor Elena Gilbert, that girl whose family went over Wickery Bridge.

She walked towards the Data Management class, it was a mundane class that she could probably do in her sleep, but she needed something, anything, to fill up time. It had been that way since her parents died. She couldn't focus, she found no interest in anything… She gave up cheerleading, she dumped her then boyfriend Matt (whom she replaced relatively quickly with Stephan, but that's beside the point). She was broken in every sense of the word. Maybe her heart was still intact but her spirit was broken, crippled by the pain of human loss.

She remembered all the nights she had spent crying over her parents and her brother, how Jenna had tried to soothe her pain… But Jenna was like her mother in many ways, and being around her had felt like looking at the ghost of her long gone mother. Elena's heart sank- Jenna didn't deserve all the pain and responsibility that had come with Elena, all of the hopes and dreams that Jenna had to leave behind just to take care of someone who wasn't really willing to be taken care of. Elena knew this, or at least she did now. She was trying to change.

Elena heard Bonnie and Caroline before she saw them. They were talking quite animatedly about something that she couldn't quite make out. They were excited, happy- which meant that Elena had been right and they hadn't remembered… She tried not to let the disappointment show on her face as they sat down next to her.

"Hey Elena, do you have plans tonight?" Caroline asked, leaning over towards her. Caroline was a control freak, psychopath who had to have everything planned down to the millimetre or else the world would never hear the last of it. Obviously the school dance was what was in the forefront of her memory because she didn't understand why Elena's response was 'I have plans with Jenna tonight.'

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE PLANS WITH JENNA?' Caroline prodded nearly jumping out of her skin at the thought of her friend missing the dance that she had so skillfully planned. All of Mystic Falls High was going to be there, and she couldn't believe that Elena planned on ditching… She berated Elena for five minutes before the bell rang and class began.

Data management was slow- as usual. She really hated sitting and listening to her teacher drone on and on about Pythagoras and his triangle theorem. When was she realistically going to use a triangle in her real life? Probably not ever. Elena had wanted to be a writer… Her mom had instilled that in her, it had been both of their dreams and now without her mother to support her Elena felt as though perhaps that was a dream that was better left for dead than a dream pursued.

She walked back to her locker to get books for her Chemistry class. If she hated Data, she hated Chemistry more. It was the class she shared with Stephan… And even thought the break-up had occurred two months ago, things were still awkward between them.

The Salvatore's had a secret; they were vampires. And at the beginning it had been such a surprise to Elena- shocking, unbelievable… But as time continued on she accepted the crazy reality of it. She accepted them- the supernatural beings, she accepted that Damon had turned her calculated, controlling friend Caroline into a vampire. And perhaps Stephan was afraid that their secret would no longer be safe with her.

She laughed inwardly at that. Who would she tell? Who would believe her? No one would believe the ramblings of a 17 year old girl claiming that vampires existed. And after everything that had happened she couldn't, and would not bring herself to do that to the Salvatore brothers who had kept her alive for those three years.

She owed it to them in a sense, to keep their secret... But not only that- she knew if she exposed them, that she exposed Caroline and risked having all of their lives poked and prodded which none of them could really afford. Especially not now, not with Caroline's mother on the council- the vampire hunting council.

Bonnie was the safest one and even then she was not safe, her involvement in all of this was critical; but she was a witch, and you could rarely track a witch, or tell which witch cast a certain spell. Only another witch would know, and Bonnie and her grams used to be the only two witches in town. That was until Bonnie's grams had a heart attack and passed away, according to Bonnie it had been trying to complete a spell.

Regularly it was a spell that shouldn't have over-exerted a talented witch like Sheila Bennett, or any Bennett witch for that matter… But the details of the spell remained a secret that Bonnie had opted to keep between her and her grams, and frankly Elena didn't blame her for it.

Elena sat down in the seat next to the window overlooking the courtyard. She loved it there. She could observe everyone, watching them run to their classes or sit and eat their lunch… She enjoyed watching people enjoy their humanity in the way she wished she could enjoy hers.

Stephan walked in briskly and sat at the back of the class. He'd been doing that for the past two months- avoiding her, not speaking to her. Observing her from afar like some protective overseer, and Elena wondered why. She didn't bother to ask because every time she would approach him to confront him about it, he would bolt in his typical vampire fashion.

She'd stopped trying, and in all honesty as long as he wasn't trying to interfere with her life then she didn't care. It was crazy how much Elena had stopped caring about what he thought of her… Before it had always been about appearing to be some helpless damsel in Stephan's eyes, but even the damsels grow up, and that's what Elena had done. And Stephan didn't like it. Stephan hated the idea that she contemplated becoming a vampire; and that made her question his motives. Why would he want her to remain in her human frailty?

A constant target on her back, for some reason being attacked by random vampires wasn't enough to make Stephan want to turn her. Damon had been willing, in fact something told her that Damon was more wanting than willing. There was always more to the story than the two brothers had let on but she no longer cared… Caring got her hurt and she wasn't willing to hurt for anyone but her family and friends- not anymore.

Lunch came quickly, and she met up with Caroline and Bonnie in the cafeteria. They sat and chatted about everything and nothing; Caroline having realized, and apologized for her insensitivity and forgetfulness towards the day at hand.

Elena didn't mind, she understood that even in her frozen vampire state, Caroline's life still went on. Her responsibilities continued to pile up, and her knack for perfectionism had only intensified as a vampire. Putting her constantly on edge if things should turn out even the slightest bit wrong – which left little time for reminiscing on a time when she was still human.

Bonnie had offered to accompany Elena and Jenna, if it would have made things easier, but Elena brushed her off; knowing that Bonnie wasn't offering because she wanted to go, but more as a formality. And Elena couldn't force her friend to go to some creepy cemetery for her. Elena spent a lot of time in the cemetery, which is how she knew it was so creepy… She found herself sitting across from the three graves quite often, talking to Jeremy about sports and goings on at school, and telling her parents about what seemingly miraculous things she had learned.

Elena knew her way around the cemetery quite well, almost too well. And that fact would show if Bonnie were to accompany her and Jenna. Jenna knew, and in many ways understood Elena's affinity towards the burial ground of her family, feeling the same instinctual draw to it in the early months.

Jenna understood- and that's who Elena needed to accompany her tonight.

Lunch ended with a painfully loud bell, and Caroline and Bonnie left Elena and headed off to class. The guidance counsellor had suggested that Elena take a few periods off in order to de-stress and remain level headed – and so naturally this meant she either sat outside in the courtyard, or roamed the halls. Today she decided to roam. She walked past the library, and poster-boards, she walked through the gymnasium and the foyer, she walked down the hallway to her locker, where she grabbed her journal and her favourite ballpoint pen.

She walked back to the foyer, and sat on a bench where she could watch people walk by. She flipped to the second half of the journal, moving her place marker to the side, and began to write. She used to write "Dear Diary," but as of late she had begun with "Dear Mom." She didn't really know why, but something about it seemed natural to her, explaining things to her mom instead of an inanimate object like her journal.

She told her mom about what today was, the three year anniversary. She explained how she was wearing the sweater that she had bought, and how it was beginning to fall apart at the seams. She told her mother all of it through the pages of her journal- She expressed all the fear and loneliness and anguish. She poured it out, bared her soul, explaining that she was in massive need of a connection, a real connection to someone, or something that could make her see the joy in living again… She wrote and she wrote until all the words that had needed to be said were down on the pages.

She closed her journal and sat… and watched. She watched students leaving class to go to the washroom, or get a drink, or more often than not; to just fool around in the hallways. She watched for about twenty minutes, until an announcement chimed over the intercom.

"All students with a free period right now, please make your way to the office to receive your midterm report cards. "

Elena got up, and made her way to the office. It was a large room that she hadn't spent a lot of time in, but she'd spent enough. She had sat here waiting while Jenna had argued on her behalf to be exempt from exams following her family's death. It had been a long winded argument, but Jenna had won out.

She took the same seat that she had taken then, and plopped down, waiting for the secretary to return with a neatly folded stack of report cards. The seat was still uncomfortable the back of the chair was too straight, and her lower back began to hurt almost instantly. She closed her eyes and reached behind her to apply pressure in order to alleviate some of the pain. She was too engulfed with massaging her own back that she missed when another person sat in the chair beside her.

"I've always hated waiting for people…" The voice said causing Elena's eyes to spring open. She turned momentarily and her eyes met the owner of the most melodious voice she had ever heard… Her heart almost stopped when the beautiful blonde flashed her a quick smile.

"I'm Rebekah," The girl said stretching out her hand. She had a wonderful Australian accent and it took Elena by surprise. Nobody with cool accents ever came to Mystic Falls. "I'm new here obviously, I've literally just registered and it feels like I am signing my life over." Elena took her hand and shook it confidently.

"My name is Elena, nice to meet you Rebekah." Elena divulged and released Rebekah's hand after having held it for a few seconds too long. Something about this girl stirred something inside her, and she couldn't figure out what. The secretary chose that moment exactly to return, and she saw Elena the smile that had been plastered on her face was replaced with a solemn gaze.

"Ah, Ms. Gilbert, I assume you're here for your midterm report?" She asked as Elena stood up and approached the counter. She nodded, and the secretary began filing through each set of reports in alphabetical order until she reached G. "And here you are dear." She said pulling out Elena's report card and handing it to her.

Elena took the report card, and looked it over. She read and re-read her marks, how was this possible? She had a better average now than she had ever had in her life. She stood rooted like a stone, she couldn't move it felt like… Her heart was beating a thousand times per second, and she was starting to feel light headed.

Then she remembered to breathe. And her head started feeling its usual heaviness again, and her heart rate returned to normal. She looked over at Rebekah who looked a little perplexed at her reaction, Elena took in two great big lungful's of air an exhaled.

"You know Rebekah, you're right- you are signing your life over; to a world of misery and pending disappointment." Elena said opening the door to the foyer, "There's a great big world out there and you're settling for this." She walked out and was more than halfway to her locker when she heard a newly familiar Australian accent call after her down the hall.

"Elena wait!" Rebekah's voice called, as she came jogging down the hall, Elena felt the hand on her shoulder and turned, and she looked into the eyes of the strange new girl. They were a mesmerising shade of blue. "Why don't you show me around?"

And even though Elena wanted to protest, and say no and continue her day of near solitude; every fibre of her being required her to do the opposite- and she agreed.