New chapter up! I wrote this in a hurry, so I hope it makes sense! thanks to all who reviewed so far :) Let me know what you think!

When he dove into the water, his body reeled at the shock of its iciness, which wrapped him in its smothering embrace. It was so cold his muscles screamed out in pain, but his only thought was to reach her.

Shang had watched her jump- the foolish girl- and he heard himself cry out in a belated warning. The current was too fast, the rocks too slippery, and the gap too wide. Her foot connected with the rock on the other side- and he thought she had made it- but she fell backwards, grasping at thin air as she slipped, plunging into the water. In a moment, in a rash act of madness, he followed her, diving straight into the swirling rapids. Resurfacing, he saw her, face down and unconscious. Cursing under his breath, he cut through the water with powerful strokes. He managed to reach her, and grabbing hold of a rock at the side of the river to steady himself, caught her under her arms, slinging her over his back. He couldn't tell if she was dead or not, but he didn't have time to check. He knew he had to get her out, and fast, or they'd both make their graves here. Using all his strength to hold on to the rock, he appraised their surroundings. They had been swept far downstream, back towards the direction of Wu Zhong, but there was no sign of the rest of the troops or Chi Fu. Not that he'd be much help anyway.

Thinking quickly, he conceded that the best plan would be to allow them to be carried further downstream, where the water became shallower. The rocks still provided defiant obstacles, and he didn't know how long the girl could survive the cold. Even he, with his muscular frame, was weakening from the chill. There was no time for debating the matter. Taking a deep breath, he let go of the rock, and the surge of water pushed them forwards.

Through the mist and spray, he saw a ledge that jutted out from the bank. Well, it's now or never, he thought. Just before the current carried them past it, he managed to grip onto it with one hand. The rock was splintered and spiky- he saw bright red blossoming through the gaps in his clenched fingers, running like ink down his skin. Gritting his teeth, he heaved the girl onto the ledge, and pushed himself up. Sinking to his knees, he took a moment to catch his breath, then turned to the girl, his heat beating wildly- fear, guilt, and an agonising emotion he couldn't quite place. Her eyes were closed and her lips a pale blue, her hair plastered across one side of her lovely face. He reached out a shaking hand and put two fingers to her pale neck, leaning towards her. Immediately he felt her breath on his cheek, and a pulse- stronger than he expected. She would be alright.

Immediately his fear vanished, and Shang felt a hot anger build up inside him. Hadn't he been right all along? This was proof why women shouldn't be in the army. Why she shouldn't be here. She had nearly killed them both. What had she been thinking, making a jump like that? He sat back heavily, brushing angrily a damp lock of hair that had escaped his topknot from his eyes. Her recklessness could be the downfall of the army. Why had he not drawn his sword that night at the lake, and finished it then?

Even as he thought it, he knew how absurd it was. He would never be able to hurt her. He didn't even want to. Mercy wasn't a notion he was used to, and yet now he was surrendering to it, without even thinking. He didn't know why, but the idea of her bleeding, or suffering any pain seemed abhorrent to him. That's why he had been holding her back in training. He was protecting her, until he could figure out a way to send her home. He was trying to save her life. And this was the thanks he got?

A low whimper startled him out of his angry thoughts. She was waking up. Shang suddenly felt at a loss for words. He had never felt ill at ease with his authority until now. But he had to finish this, once and for all.

The girl stirred, as if she had woken up for a dream. She sat up, shivering, and winced, putting her hand to her head. Then she opened her eyes and saw Shang. A look of confusion clouded her face for a few moments, then the last hour's events came back to her. Immediately her eyes widened, and she scrambled backwards across the rock path.

"Sir- I- "

In an instant he was before her and looked her square in the eyes.

"What the hell did you think you were doing? You could have died! How could you be so STUPID?"

She snatched her face from his gaze, frustration on her face. "I just wanted...you didn't think I was...good enough", she muttered.

Shang's temper flared. "You don't seem to understand the consequences of your actions! You go too far this time. I've tried to give you an easy way out but they-" The words weren't coming easy, but he spat them out, short and sharp as arrows. "They- will kill you, when they find out..."- he hated himself for it, but forced himself to go on- "...what you are".

Her features froze. The blood drained from her face and lips, and at that point, she really did look like a corpse, drowned and resurrected in front of him. She shrank back, instinctively folding her arms over her chest. She shook her head faintly. "But..."she whispered. His eyes locked on hers and grim understanding passed between them. She stood up slowly, not taking her eyes from his. It was as if she expected him to cut her down at any second.

He moved towards her, and opened his mouth to say something- anything- but then shouts and footsteps echoed off the walls of the canyon as the troops approached. Chi Fu came galloping round the corner on his horse.

"Captain! You're alive". He sounded panicky. Then he turned towards the girl, his eyes narrowed.

"I assume there will be a fitting punishment for this wretch?"

Shang hesitated, pulling on a dry robe that one of the men handed him. "Hewill be punished," he said finally. Without looking at her he said curtly- "Ping, get back in line. Do not speak to anyone. When we return to camp get yourself cleaned up and report immediately to me".

Mulan approached the Captain's tent, her palms damp with sweat, and her heart beating furiously. This was it. He knew. The whole way back to camp she had been numb- with the cold and fear. Ling and the others shot her sympathetic glances, but dared not say anything to her. It wouldn't have mattered if they had, she doubted she would have even heard them- her mind was blank, and Shang's words echoed in her head- "they'll kill you when they find out what you are". As soon as the troop returned to Wu Zhong she stumbled off towards the lake, where she threw up, then sobbed uncontrollably, her body shaking. Changing into a dry set of robes took twice as long as usual, her fingers trembled and her sash was twisted and tied wrong, but who cared? She wouldn't live long enough for anyone to notice.

"Sir?" Her voice came out in a croak.

"Enter", Shang's replied from inside. Mulan took a deep breath, and squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. She pushed the tent flap open and stepped inside.

Immediately she felt a chill against her neck. She opened her eyes and Shang stood before her, his sword drawn, the tip resting against the side of her neck.

"Do you know the penalty for a woman to be in the army?" He said softly. He stepped slowly around her, tracing the blade round to her throat. When she didn't answer, he raised his voice- "DO you?"

She nodded, not able to speak- a lump forming in her throat, staring hard at the floor.

"Then why?" A tear ran down her face, but she dared not raise her hand- the tip of Shang's sword was still hovering threateningly over her neck.

"LOOK AT ME!" She lifted her face up gingerly, and hesitatingly looked him in the eye. His eyes seemed blacker than usual, a bottomless pit of intensity.

"If you're going to kill me, just do it now!", Mulan burst out. She was sick of waiting to die, of being at his mercy.

Shang looked at her hard, a little of the fire leaving his eyes. "What's your name? Are you even from the Fa family?"

"My name is Fa Mulan, daughter of Fa Zhou". Mulan's voice shook. "That's the truth".

Shang nodded. Slowly he withdrew the sword and replaced it in its sheath. "Mulan..." He tripped over the word. "You know that I am bound by the law. You know that it's my duty to kill you".

Mulan caught her breath. "Of course I know that", she said bitterly. "So do it. I've brought enough shame upon my family. Just- just don't tell them I died like this". She looked up at him. "Please".

Shang sighed. "If you leave the army, you can go home safely. I don't want to do it, Mulan. Not if I can help it. So help me, and help yourself. Go home."

Mulan bit her lip. He was offering her a chance to live. So why did this prospect seem no better? She shook her head faintly. "I can't...go back".

"Why not?" Shang demanded. "You don't belong here, Mulan."

Forgetting his superiority, anger flared up inside her. "I don't belong there, either! I can't be who my family wants me to be. I couldn't be a lady, all prim and proper. Anything I did brought dishonour to my family. I can't ride, I can't run outdoors, I can't do anything without gaining disapproval". Tears choked her. "This is the only thing I have ever felt that I succeeded at". She looked up at him, challenging him. "You know I'm a good soldier. You said so yourself".

Shang closed his eyes. "I don't deny that, Mulan. But you forget. The law is on my head too. If it gets out that I knew about you, and you are discovered, then I am as good as dead, too." He shook his head. "I can't even believe I'm letting you live. By the Gods, you should not be here. A single woman amongst men is asking for trouble" he said angrily. "It would only be a matter of time before you are discovered. And then what? Do you think they will treat you the same? Has your father never told you stories of war? What becomes of women during raids and attacks on villages? I can't think why you even came in the first place. It's madness."

"It's not madness at all" Mulan spoke quietly. "My father would not survive another war. He cannot even use a sword without falling" a sob escaped her and she swallowed before continuing. "What other choice did I have? What sort of daughter would I be if I did nothing? I am stronger, younger than he is. I can't let him down again".

"Mulan.."

"I wouldn't expect you to understand" she spat. "You don't know what it's like- to see someone you love dying, and being powerless to stop it! "You can't tell me I'm wrong, because you can't ever feel how I do".

At once Shang whirled around and seized her by the shoulders. "Don't presume to think you know anything about me, Mulan! I have felt everything, EVERYTHING, that you speak of. Don't think I am unfamiliar with loss". There was madness in his eyes, an agony of emotion there that frightened her. "I don't understand", she choked out.

Shang let go, and turned away. "Then I will tell you, so that you do. Then maybe you'll realise why I say what I do. Why I'm trying to help you. It's been twelve years and I never told anyone...but now someone needs to hear the truth".

So there we have it. If it doesnt make sense, what he reveals in the next chapter will explain :)