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As Color Fades Away
Chapter Fifty-Two
"Hunk," Pidge whispered, as though being any louder would disrupt the moment, but sounding absolutely giddy. "Lance—"
"I know," Hunk murmured back, "I know."
Because Lance was smiling. It wasn't a large grin or playful smirk, but instead a soft upturn of his lips, greeting the sun like a blooming flower and it was beautiful.
They had all come to an abrupt halt to watch as Lance had tipped his head back, golden rays highlighting his skin, and he had seemed to soak in that brightness, a look of peace and contentment growing until it had resulted in this.
Hunk had never been happier or prouder. Lance had confessed to him his pain of not being able to smile, the fear that something was wrong with him because of that. Hunk had come to the conclusion that it was because Lance was not actually happy and the mask that he normally was able to summon to cover up that hurt had been broken and without it Lance was laid bare. Hunk had always hated those fake smiles anyway.
So to see it now, that gentle, sweet expression that was completely at home on his best friend's face made Hunk just swell with joy. Because Lance was getting better. He was overcoming the horrors he'd suffered under the Galrans and Haggar and he was returning to himself. Hunk hadn't realized until just now how incomplete Lance had been without his smile.
Pidge seemed to share his sentiment, clutching onto his hand with enough force that he was genuinely afraid she might break a finger. Everyone else too was watching Lance smile into the sunlight with shared looks of fondness and happiness.
After what was probably only a few moments but it felt so much more than that, Lance turned to look at them, that beautiful smile still gracing his face, although his eyes were welling with new tears. "Hunk," he whispered and the larger boy needed no second urging.
He flung his arms around Lance, not quite sweeping him off his feet like he used to, but squeezing him tight to his chest and only barely remembering not to put a hand through Lance's hair, settling it instead on his shoulder.
"I'm smiling," Lance said even as tears caressed his cheeks. "I… I…."
"I knew you could do it," Hunk managed around his own budding tears. "I knew it, hermano." He pulled him tighter. "I'm so happy for you."
Lance let out a happy sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh and it was the most beautiful thing Hunk had ever heard, made even more so as Lance's smile widened and his eyes crinkled before he buried his face into Hunk's chest and his own arms wrapped ever so lightly about the broad back.
Hunk would have been content to hug Lance for forever, but Lance composed himself a moment later and released his arms, prompting Hunk to step back to let Lance run a hand over his tear-streaked face.
Lance turned then to the rest of the team, who had all come to stand together on the beach just outside the cove.
"Muchas gracias," he said softly, still feeling the smile on his face. "Thank you… I…"
"It is most wonderful to see you smiling once more," Allura said, eyes sparkling and her own brightening her face. "You are feeling better?"
"…Yes," Lance said after a moment. "I… I am."
And he was. The smile felt natural; no longer fake or forced. It was second nature again to have it there, to feel the edges of his mouth curling up and the way it made his entire body feel lighter. And more than that, he felt better. He felt… happy.
Talking about it had helped and they had understood, just like Blue had told him they would. He could almost picture his Lion rolling her eyes at him and nudging him with her nose with a "see?" And not only had they understood his reasons, even denounced his weaker thoughts, they had accepted him completely. They were rightly horrified, but not by what he thought. They had been scared of losing him. Him. It made him feel warm inside, chased away most of the cold.
Parts of it were still there. The sound of the waves crashing on the beach created a tension in him that he had previously never known. His right hand still shook ever so slightly, useless in a fight. The scars still shone like beacons that he could not yet face. Haggar still lurked, her darkness lingering even with his friends' light.
But he knew, really knew, now that he could get better. Be better. Feel better. He just had to have the strength, the courage, to try. And with his space family all around him, supporting him with everything they had, he knew he could.
"We're glad to hear it, buddy," Shiro smiled at him, all of the paleness and tightness gone from his face.
"So this is your mind?" Pidge asked, peering with interest about her surroundings now that the danger had passed.
"Mindscape," Lance and Coran corrected at the same time and the advisor shot Lance a questioning look.
"You know what this place is?" he asked. None of the other Paladins had had an inkling, which meant that Lance had learned about it from someone else.
Lance's smile faded as he gave a short nod. "Yes. She… she told me about it. When I first got here."
"What did she tell you?" Coran asked carefully.
"It's… part of my mind, I guess," Lance said, looking about the beach. "She said it reflects my personality. And my current state of mind." He lowered his eyes as a cloud passed over the sun as he recalled how broken and violent it had been just minutes ago. "I guess you already saw that though."
"And look at it now," Hunk said, giving his bare shoulder a squeeze. "It's beautiful, Lance. You did this. You." Lance managed a small smile at that and Hunk beamed right back and the cloud shifted to reveal the sun again.
"She also said," Lance continued, hand unconsciously moving to rub at his chest where his lung rested, "that the mind comes here when… when the body is failing." He looked up then, a sheen of fear dancing in his eyes. "Did… did something happen? At the Castle? How are we all here?"
Had he almost died again?
"I believe it may have been caused by a quintessence overload," Coran said and Allura hung her head, shame painting her cheeks.
"I am sorry, Lance," she apologized. "I thought I could control it and I could not. You suffered greatly for my mistake and I cannot apologize enough."
"It's not your fault," he mumbled, toeing the sand. He didn't like seeing guilt on Allura. And she had tried her best and he had given her the go ahead. She wasn't to blame at all.
"It is," Allura countered, not so easily able to let it go. "I put you at risk, Lance. I hurt you."
"But you didn't mean to," Lance said quietly, meeting her jewel eyes with a look of utter compassion and understanding and not a hint of fear. Despite it all he still trusted her and Allura felt her breath taken away by it. "You were trying to help."
She managed a nod. "Yes. But… I cannot try again. Not without more time and training until I am capable of channeling such power. And that means that I cannot," she swallowed, "I cannot create the barrier as we had hoped."
"We'll find another way," Shiro said comfortingly and she found some of the tension draining from her as his warm hand came to rest on her shoulder.
"In the meantime, when we get back to the castle it'll be bed rest for the both of you," Coran said. "No arguments, Princess," he said seeing her open her mouth. "All of that quintessence at once has shocked both of your systems. You need rest to reset yourselves, so to speak."
"How though?" Keith asked. Upon seeing the questioning faces he clarified. "How do we get back?"
Coran raised a finger up and then let it fall, brow furrowing. "I… I do not know, Number Four. That is indeed a rather important point." He turned to Lance, who had leaned back into a loose embrace against Hunk. "Do you have any ideas, Lance? Do you recall how you left when you found yourself here before?"
Lance worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought back to that first time here. That had been when the mindscape had battled back against Haggar and he'd chased her off and then taken to swimming in the ocean. He'd been looking at the constellations and then–
He blanched at the memory, his first time drowning although he'd been more terrified at the time of the blood staining the water and the pressure forcing him down as his right hand had contorted. Only Hunk's concerned "Lance?" along with a low rumble of thunder brought him back.
"Deep breaths, hermano," Hunk said, rubbing his large hands on Lance's back and Lance found himself being lowered to the sand. "It's okay."
Lance nodded weakly, forcing the blood-stained water from memory and trying to focus on the how instead.
"The… the first time," Lance said softly. "I think—"
"Wait," Pidge interrupted. "The first time?" Lance gave a small nod, looking somewhat confused. "The first time," she repeated, feeling breathless. "Didn't… didn't you just say that you end up here because you're dying?" She heard Shiro's sharp intake then and Keith curse below his breath in horror.
Lance nodded again, the confusion being replaced now with something Pidge couldn't quite identify. Sadness, maybe? Hurt?
Fear?
"How many times were you here?" Shiro asked, voice wavering.
Lance looked down at his hands, held in his lap, and mumbled out a number. Hunk's eyes widened but he was the only one who had managed to hear it.
The large boy looked up and swallowed thickly. "Three," he said for the rest of them.
"Three?" Pidge repeated, feeling sick and by the looks of it her team was in a similar state. Three times that Lance had been so badly injured and under so much strain that he had ended up here.
How?
Her feet moved mechanically forward, instinct driving her to fall to her knees in front of Lance and Hunk and take Lance's scarred hands into her own, enveloping them as best she could.
"Lance," she whispered, not sure what else to say. She could feel the others closing the small distance now as well and if it wasn't for the reason why they were all doing that she might have giggled at the sight they all made worming their way into a tight half-circle about Lance as though they could hide him from the world.
"Estoy bien," he said after a moment although he made no move to shift her hands away and Pidge only held on tighter. "It's… it's over now."
And for as simple as those words were they said so much. Lance had come such a far way from the fear that had plagued him just an hour ago. He was fighting against the memories and Haggar's poison to remain here, with them. She squeezed his hands even more.
"The first time," Lance repeated, voice soft but filled with a strength not many could have summoned in that moment, "I ended up here was after my escape attempt." He took a deep breath and the clouds that had been closing in shifted again to reveal the sun. "I got shot," he continued. "Fatally, according to… to her. I woke up here. And then I woke up back in the real world when they…" he swallowed, "when they were still healing me. Druid healing is… painful," he finally settled on. "That brought me back."
"An outside stimulant then," Coran observed, his hand lighting on Lance's knee and giving it a squeeze of support. "Was that the case for all three of your... visits?"
Lance shook his head. "No. The second I… I don't really know how. I was here after…" His hands stung and he willed the thought of the Kri Za Kri away. "After I was hurt," he offered, noting the looks of concern at the omission but he couldn't talk about that right now. Not until he was free of his mindscape where at least then the pain wasn't made real.
"I think I might have fallen asleep here," Lance added. He didn't quite recall now that he was thinking about it how that time in the mindscape had ended. He had been crying in the rain and then he'd been waking up to sheer blackness and wishing he was home.
Coran nodded, looking thoughtful. "One cannot technically fall asleep or unconscious in one's own mind because one is not really awake," he said. "It is possible that upon your mind trying for that exit your physical body was reawoken."
"So maybe he just needs to fall asleep?" Hunk suggested hopefully. It certainly sounded like the more viable option as they didn't have anyone in the castle capable of waking Lance up through a physical mean.
"Possibly," Coran said. "But let us explore all of our options. Was the third time a different exit method, Lance?"
Lance did flinch at that one. "Yes," he said after a pause. "That one was when I… when I…" he nodded his chin towards his wrists and Keith's hand found his shoulder and gave it a reassuring if hesitant pat. "I'm not sure how I got out of that one," he admitted. "She was here and she… she hurt me," he whispered, recalling her glowing hand and purple and black lightning wreathing around him and making him feel like he was drowning in fire. "But on the outside I was being hurt too." He'd awoken to water in his lungs then, a hand shoving his head deeper and deeper under while he spasmed and shook to no avail.
"Oh, Lance," Allura murmured, seeing his face twist in remembered pain.
"Sleep," Hunk said quickly. "I vote sleep."
Because they had no one outside to wake Lance's physical body and they certainly as heck weren't going to torture him into waking here. Nope, there was only one clear option available.
"I could go for a little shut eye myself," Coran said brightly. "How about it, lad?"
"I could try," Lance said. The sun did feel nice and warm now, heating his mostly bare skin pleasantly and he did always love naps. He wasn't really tired at all, but he too also liked this idea the best. And if Coran thought it was plausible then it was worth a shot.
"Let's all get comfortable then," Shiro smiled.
"We should all be touching," Allura said as Lance settled himself down and Hunk flopped next to him. "Just in case."
It was a sound suggestion given that they'd all come in latched onto one another and Lance had never been here with others, except for Haggar, but she seemed to be able to come and go as she pleased. Her playground, he shuddered as her words ghosted to him. Well, his hand tightened ever so where Pidge had kept her hold on it and was lying on his other side, not anymore.
They made an odd line down the beach; Keith next to Pidge and already starting to lightly burn and Lance felt a tiny stab of guilt about that and tried to will a cloud somewhat over the other teen without luck. Shiro was on Keith's other side, prosthetic pillowed behind his hand and eyes closed against the sun.
Next to Hunk rested Allura, one of her dark hands intertwined with Hunk's and her other holding onto Coran, who looked absolutely content as a gentle breeze blew over them.
Lance tried to settle down and close his eyes as well and will sleep to come so they could all get out of here. After a few minutes though he didn't feel the normal haze of sleep that napping in the sun normally brought and he shifted restlessly.
Sleep, he chanted at himself as Hunk gave their conjoined hands a squeeze and rubbed his thumb in slow circle over Lance's. Sleep.
But by his guess of nearly ten dobashes later he still felt nothing pulling him back to his body.
This wasn't working.
"I can't sleep," he finally said, trying to give it a few more minutes but nothing was happening. He sat up, prompting everyone else to do the same, shaking off loose sand from their clothing.
"Maybe we could knock you out?" Pidge suggested. "Carefully!" she said, raising her hands placatingly as Hunk turned a frown upon her. "Like… like a pressure point."
"I do know of one," Shiro said. "But it's…" he raised his hand and placed it on the back of his neck. "Here."
Lance tried his best not to wince as he felt a sharp sting ripple about his neck at the reminder of shock collars and needles. The sky did darken slightly though and that was enough of an indicator.
"Any other ideas first?" Hunk asked, trying not to seem too desperate. Because Lance was still very, very wary about anyone going near his neck and no matter how gentle Shiro was the motion would likely still be uncomfortable and Hunk did not want Lance to suffer any more violent memories.
"I may have one," Allura said slowly. "One moment please." She closed her eyes and pressed her hands to her temple, casting her mind wide open.
Even here, in Lance's mindscape, she could feel the residual quintessence of each Paladin and it gave her hope that if she could feel that then her connection to the physical plane was not entirely removed either, possibly because she had sent them here in the first place. If that was the case she may be able to link with—
There! She felt a small, warm presence touch her own mind and she concentrated fully on it. Chuchule she called out and she felt the mouse perk up. Can you hear me?
She felt an affirmation and nearly sighed with relief. I need your help, dear friend. Please, go to the main lounge.
The small pink mouse squeaked out a yes in Allura's mind and a few moments later she felt the mouse's confirmation that she had arrived, along with a sense of panic upon finding her dear princess lying inert. She projected the image to Allura through their link and the girl winced at seeing them all sprawled about the floor.
Chuchule's distress went further and Allura could feel the other mice joining in on the connection, their shared cries of alarm ringing in her head.
We are all right, she tried to soothe. I do need your assistance though to awaken us.
Chuchule chirped with confidence, puffing out her chest. I need you to awaken Lance Allura instructed. Avoid his head, please, but do try to rouse him.
She could feel the mice then all joining in on the effort and they projected their attempts to her; Chuchule was nosing his hand while Platt was bouncing his large girth up and down on Lance's stomach. Plachu was wiggling his whiskers against Lance's sock-covered feet and Chulatt was pressing her wet nose against a piece of exposed skin on Lance's side where the hoodie had ridden up.
But Allura could feel that they were not having success and she winced at what she knew they had to try then. If the gentle touches were not doing it then perhaps a more severe one was what was needed to truly jolt Lance from his mind.
Chuchule she called you must bite his hand. The mouse let out a squeak of alarm and Allura could feel the firm backlash at such a suggestion.
You must she ordered. It is the only way.
She felt the resignation but the understanding in one rush as she sent her own feelings of urgency and desperation to them.
A second later she felt everything flicker about, but Chuchule informed her that Lance had not awoken. Again she instructed. All of you at once. It will be all right, she soothed. This is to help Lance. I promise.
There was a moment of pause as Allura felt all the mice reconvene to Lance's left hand, each selecting a finger to nibble on. Do it Allura ordered, feeling their hesitation to cause such pain.
A second later everything shifted and Allura felt herself thrown head over heels. She opened her eyes with a groan, expecting to see the bright sunlight shining down but instead saw only the lights of the castle's lounge.
With a gasp she jerked upright, tipping over a second later as her head spun and it if hadn't been for Hunk suddenly there she would have fallen right back over.
"Easy, easy," Hunk murmured and Allura closed her eyes as the room spun in a dizzying loop. "I've got you."
"Lance?" she managed, tongue feeling too large for her mouth.
"He's in quite a bit of pain, Princess," came Coran's voice. "But awake." His voice lowered then, likely talking to Lance and Allura forced her eyes to open against the spinning.
Coran was kneeling next to Lance, who was still in the middle of their circle, and holding one of his hands gently and murmuring to him. Lance's face was scrunched with pain and he looked abnormally pale.
Shiro was on Lance's other side and Keith next to him, hovering anxiously but his eyes met hers in a narrowed glare. "What did you do?" he demanded.
"The… the mice," Allura got out, sinking more against Hunk as the room continued to spin. Pidge was already sitting on the ground with four small quivering bundles of fur in her hands that were projecting such guilt that it made Allura's heart hurt. I am sorry she thought to them and they all gave little morose squeaks in her mind.
"Come, let us put them to bed," Coran said, standing and easily holding Lance in his arms, the boy's eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Hunk, can you assist the Princess?"
"I am all right, Coran," Allura tried to insist, even as she tightened her grip on Hunk as he shifted.
"You need rest, Allura," he said, sounding as serious as she had ever heard him. "Quintessence overload can be dangerous beyond measure. Rest, please."
"Very well," Allura sighed, knowing that he was right and she was not certain she was capable of doing much else anyway. "But I shall remain here, in the lounge." There was no room for argument in her tone and Coran knew when to pick his battles and gestured with his chin at one of the long couches and Hunk assisted the princess to it.
"Lance, lad," he asked gently, looking down at the boy who had nestled his face against his jacket, "do you wish to return your room or remain in the lounge as well?"
"Lounge," Lance whispered, just as Coran knew he would.
Coran brought him to the other long couch and placed him tenderly on it while Keith came over a moment later with one of the blankets that had wound its way back up there and the advisor gave him a soft smile and murmured thanks.
"There we go," he said, spreading it over Lance and tucking it on the edges. The boy looked nearly asleep already, despite the clear pain he was in, brow furrowed with an apparent headache. "Would you be all right with a vein valve, lad? Just to get some fluids in you? It should help with the headache."
Lance let out a barely conscious hum and Coran took that as permission.
"I'll get it," Pidge volunteered. "I know where they are."
"Thank you, Number Five, that would be most helpful."
Pidge deposited the mice, still all huddling together, on the couch with Allura where they scrambled up to nestle under the girl's chin, and scurried off.
"What can I do?" Keith asked, hovering next to Lance while Shiro went to grab another blanket across the way.
"If you could dim the lights in here, Number Four," Coran started, Keith already heading to the controls by the door.
When he returned though his face was drawn and Shiro looked at him concerned. "What is it?"
"We were in there for hours," Keith whispered, having seen the time and date projected on the controls. "Shiro, it's almost 1300."
It was Shiro's turn to blanch. "What?"
"What do we do?" Hunk asked, joining their little huddle as Allura succumbed to the exhaustion as well, her mice standing guard. "There aren't any alarms going off. That's good, right?"
"I'll go check the bridge," Coran said. "Number One, come with me please. Number Two, are you able to insert the vein valve when Number Five returns?"
"No sweat," Hunk said. "Me and Keith'll keep an eye on things here."
"We should hopefully be back shortly," Coran said. "Hang tight till then, Paladins."
He and Shiro were then hurrying away and Hunk retreated back to Lance's couch, sinking down wearily next to it.
"Are you… okay?" Keith asked, feeling out of his element but the Yellow Paladin looked so worn down in that moment he felt he had to ask.
The last few moments in the mindscape had not been easy on any of them. Upon the suggestion of the pressure point Lance had hunched in more on himself and they had all seen him wince several times as likely residual pain from a memory broke across his face. Hunk had done his best to soothe him, rubbing his hand over Lance's back while they waited for whatever it was Allura was trying to do, and while the sky had remained mostly clear a cooler breeze had picked up and the waves had lashed more firmly about the shore, causing Lance to flinch.
Keith had tried not to look at the scar, remembering Coran's original warning, but it was hard not to. The thick, ropy line made up of mottled browns and dark pinks was stark on Lance's skin and spoke of torture upon torture. Keith could still remember the first time they'd seen it activated, when Lance had tried to argue for himself at the Kri Za Kri. Lance's face had gone from confused to horrified to such pain in that moment.
For it to have created such a scar the collar would have had to have been used again. And again. And then again. The Galra's cruelty truly knew no bounds and Keith hated them all the more for it.
Just when Keith was half-tempted to poke Allura and demand to what she was doing – she had better not be screwing around with quintessence again – they had all felt a tug and Lance had let out a gasp of pain, hunching over.
Coran had yelled at them all to hold together then as something was clearly happening outside the mindscape. Lance had cried out softly a moment later and he had barely had a chance to raise panicked, tear-lined eyes to Hunk's before they were all being tossed head over heel as though they'd attempted to wormhole with just their bodies.
It had hurt just as much as landing in the mindscape had, but Keith knew they had all escaped relatively unscathed. Lance had been whimpering with pain upon emerging and Allura had not looked much better.
Hunk had been a rock through all of it; surprising Keith with how quickly he had adapted to the mindscape's constantly changing environment (this from the boy who used to get so anxious he'd get lost in the castle he would refuse to leave his room without an escort) and going straight to Lance and comforting him in any way he could. Keith was slightly jealous at how naturally it just seemed to come to Hunk; the soothing words, the light touches, the hugs. He had tried to add in his own two cents when Lance hadn't yet seemed to believe Allura and Shiro and it thought it might have helped, but it was nothing to what Hunk was able to offer.
Through it all though Hunk was there, shouldering every tear and nightmare and memory without a word of complaint about how it was affecting him. But now, with Lance asleep, Hunk had dropped his guard and he looked exhausted.
"I could really go for a nap," Hunk admitted, picking his head up from where he'd rested it on the couch. "I was…" he yawned, "I was up all night."
"Why don't you?" Keith asked, nodding towards the last open couch.
"Can't," Hunk yawned. "Not till Pidge gets back with the…" he yawned again. "The vein… thingy." And wow, he was definitely tired.
"I can put it in," Keith volunteered.
"Keith, man, that's really nice of you to offer, but—"
"I know how," Keith interrupted. "I…"His jaw clenched then, halting the words on the tip of his tongue. He could feel that wall rising, the constant reminder that whenever he tried to open up to others he only ever got hurt. But this was Hunk. And Hunk was his friend.
"I know how," he repeated, grateful when Hunk didn't interrupt. "My dad… My dad had to have an IV drip after he got… got worse. I helped. Before he went to the hospital. It's been a while, but I can do it."
"All right then," Hunk said, and there was such a warmth to his tone and no further questions or judgment that Keith felt himself flush. "I leave you to it. I'll just…" he pulled himself up and tottered over to the spare couch. "Be over here. Thanks, Keith."
Hunk was out cold not even a minute later and Keith was left standing there feeling his heart near bursting with the trust that the other boy had given him. Hunk was trusting him to look after Lance in his stead. It was both terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.
Before Pidge could return, Keith busied himself with fetching another blanket to drape over Hunk and squeeze a pillow onto the couch with Allura for the mice, who had calmed down now and they all gave little squeaks of thanks at the gesture.
Keith then dragged over one of the ottomans to Lance's side and set himself down with a casual grace. Lance remained sleeping through it all, although he still looked to be in pain even then.
"It's going to be all right," Keith told him quietly, smoothing the blanket fold on the edge of the couch for something to do. "We… we won't let anything happen to you. You're safe now." Lance did not so much as stir but his brow was smoothing ever so slightly and so Keith kept it up, his tones as low as when he would try to befriend the stray cats that sometimes meandered a little too close to the violent group home.
"I promise," Keith said, meaning it with everything he had, "I won't let her hurt you ever again. I…" he closed his eyes, still too easily recalling the sight of Lance's broken, bloodied form lying in the cell and then how absolutely terrified Lance had been upon realizing someone was there with him, clearly expecting only to be hurt. "I promise," he repeated. "You'll never be that scared or hurt or lonely again. I'll try to be a better friend too. I will. I just…" he grabbed at his hair, a nervous gesture. "I don't know how, Lance. And I'm afraid I'll make things worse." He paused. "I always make things worse."
"Keith?" and the swordsman startled off the ottoman, surprised beyond anything to find Pidge standing just a few feet away. He normally had impeccable hearing and yet she had appeared out of nowhere, the vein valve and fluid packs in hand.
"Pidge," he muttered, feeling a flush darken his cheeks. What had she heard?
She came and perched herself next to him on the ottoman as he righted himself.
"You don't always make things worse," she said rather bluntly after a moment and he wasn't sure if it was meant to be comforting or a fact. Maybe both? "I mean, sometimes you do, but you're learning, Keith. We all are."
"I'm not good at this," Keith admitted.
"Neither am I," Pidge agreed. "But we're both trying and that's what's important." She gave him a nudge with her elbow and a smile. "And from a completely biased opinion I do think we're doing pretty good."
"Our opinions don't count," Keith muttered.
"Maybe, maybe not," Pidge shrugged. "But the way I see it, Hunk left you in charge here and he wouldn't have done that if he didn't think you could do it. So what does that tell you?"
"…Thanks, Pidge," Keith said quietly.
She gave him another gentle nudge, which Keith was quickly learning was her way of showing affection. "Now you just need to tell Lance that when he's awake. He'd really love to hear it."
Keith gave an uncomfortable roll of his shoulders. He was better at saying things in the heat of the moment; not a pre-planned apology or bonding attempt.
"It'll work out," Pidge said to that. "You have good instincts, Keith. Listen to them. For now though I'm hoping you also have an idea of what to do with this," she held up the fluid pack, "because as you know I'm just getting the hang of bandaging."
"I can do it," Keith said. "Just hold a tick."
He carefully lifted the blanket that was draped over Lance and tugged Lance's left arm free. Lance twitched slightly but otherwise remained still as Keith settled it atop Lance's stomach and pushed the large yellow hoodie sleeve up to Lance's elbow.
The skin there was unblemished and showed nothing of the trauma that had once been inflicted. Keith found himself drawn to that smooth patch trying to force the sudden knot out of his stomach. Lance had lived. He hadn't… he hadn't ended up like others Keith had once known; those who had given up on getting out of the system and had taken the only escape they thought existed.
Lance hadn't done it to escape though. He'd done it to protect them, to keep them from harm. It was different. And, he brushed his thumb over Lance's arm, Lance had lived. He had made it out and he was going to be okay. He'd seen that resolve and hope there in the mindscape. He didn't have to worry about Lance like that.
If anything, his biggest worry was that Lance would throw himself back into harm's way if it meant keeping them safe. Keith knew he himself was reckless, but he fought to survive and never planned to not come back. Lance… Lance was just as reckless but unlike Keith he put others far, far ahead of his own well being and didn't think about the consequences to himself. That was more terrifying, Keith thought, than his own dangerous stunts.
But that's what they were all there for. To make Lance realize how important he was and that they could not lose him no matter what. There was no replacing Lance and so Keith refused to entertain the notion.
"Keith?" Pidge asked and the swordsman realized he'd drifted off into his own thoughts.
"Can you hand me the vein valve?" Keith replied instead of an answer and Pidge placed it into his open hand. Keith prodded along Lance's arm, spotting the best place easily thanks to the small dot left behind from previous valves.
With practiced ease – despite the name the Altean's version of an IV was identical to Earth's – he slipped the needle and tube in, taped it down with the sticky patch that had been attached to it, and removed the needle. He affixed the fluid bag and then propped it up on the armrest of the couch. Lance continued to sleep.
Pidge didn't question how he knew what to do, but gave him another nudge and pulled herself to standing.
"I'm going to go grab some food and drinks from the kitchen," she said. "Want anything in particular?"
"No food goo," Keith replied automatically and Pidge grinned.
"What do you take me for? Please. I'll be back with whatever I can scrounge up that looks edible. And then, when I get back, you need a shower. You still smell."
Keith looked down at himself, realizing that yes; he was still in his now stiff with dried sweat training clothes from that morning. But at least his shirt was still intact in this world. He had rather liked it but hadn't hesitated at all to offer it up for bandages upon seeing all of the blood.
"Okay," he agreed, trying not to wrinkle his nose as now that it was pointed out yes, he did rather smell.
Pidge hurried off soundlessly again and Keith turned his gaze back to Lance, whose expression had fully evened out to something peaceful.
"I know you can't hear me right now," he said softly. "But when you wake up… I'd like to talk to you. About… about us. If you'll let me. A lot has changed, Lance, since you were… away. I've changed. I think for the better. I hope so, at least.
"So," Keith ran a hand through the back of his hair, "consider this my promise to talk to you once you're awake to listen. I won't back out of this or make up excuses. We… we need to talk. I need to apologize. And…" his hands clenched in the blanket. "I want to be your friend. A real one."
And in his sleep Lance's lips turned up into a small smile as though he'd somehow heard Keith's words. Keith sat back on the ottoman with a smile of his own and a promise burning bright.
xxx
Author's Notes:
So, lot's happening in this chapter. More progress and reveals for Lance, more hugs and bonding moments and even the mice got to make an appearance. I love those furry little beans so.
And gosh, I am so not subtle with some of the refs from Burning Bright this chapter, complete with the gosh darn title in here. I'm having too much fun with my own version of Easter eggs. Someone stop me, please xD This is becoming more problematic than grape juice in my Harry Potter fics :p Since I've had some inquiries, yes, Keith and Lance will have a bonding moment. As some of you may have already spotted, all of the characters are getting a one-on-one moment (or several, if you are Hunk :p) with Lance, somewhat subtly woven into the storyline. We've got three still to go and I am legit bursting with excitement for them :D
So much love to the amazing reviewers. You guys blew me away with the response last chapter and I am so, so grateful. Y'all are amazing. I'm running a bit behind this week so I can't go nab all the names, but y'all know who you are. Thank you so much for the comments!
Also, self promotion time :p I wrote a (rather fluffy for me) group bonding one shot titled A Name By Any Other if you're looking for some feel-good team moments. You know, without anyone being fatally injured and traumatized. :p A few more of my head-canons in there as well.
Please do drop a comment before you click off! I've unfortunately been having some sad personal friend problems, so your kind comments would really cheer a girl up. Thanks so much and see y'all next week!