It happened in a few random blurs. You were in the back seat of the Impala, Sam's large legs wrapped around you as he pressed harder into your wound. Pain shooting through you at every bump and dip you went through. Things were getting fuzzy, but both boys were repeating over and over again that you needed to stay awake. And you tried so hard to listen to them.
Sam was asking you questions, trying to get you to talk so you would stay awake. "Y/N, come on. You have to stay awake." Sam had tears streaming down his face but you couldn't tell. Everything was white, white and numb. You eyes were heavy, breathing shallow. Eventually the pain faded into nothing, as if you hadn't just been shot.
Everything seemed like a dream. Like it wasn't happening to you really. Sam and Dean's voiced began to muffle, and your vision went from white to black.
Next you were being helped out of the car, Sam pushing you into Dean's arms. Dean carried you, a new warmth coming from his chest as he ran up the stairs with you. Sam wasn't far behind, but you couldn't hear his steps like before.
"Its going to be okay Y/N. We got you." Dean repeated over and over for you. "You have to stay awake. Can't have you passin' out on me." He tried to smile, tried to reassure you things were okay. But it only made things worse. Because you could see the twinge of doubt in Dean's face. Could see the worry he was trying to hide that you weren't going to make it.
The bed gave way as Dean lay you down. You saw Sam pacing in the background, hands running through his hair."Sam get over here and help me." Dean ordered. His fatherly voice on. You wanted to laugh, but every movement seemed like you were trying to lift pounds of bricks.
"I did this Dean. I shot her." Sam yelled from behind Dean. "I did this. I did this." He continued to pace, continued to repeat the words over and over again.
Dean sighed, his hands covered in your blood kept him from touching his face. "Sam, you did not shoot her. Now get your ass over here and help me."
Sam didn't though, you heard the slam of a door and Dean sigh again. He collected himself and turned back to you. He hovered over your face, "Okay Y/N this is going to hurt a lot. But I have to do it." He waited for you to nod, waited to know you understood what he was about to do. And even though you didn't, you still nodded.
Searing pain shot through you. Dean was fishing the bullet out of your wound. "I know Y/N but you have to be quiet. Here bite down on this." Dean undid his belt in a single swoop and gently put it between your teeth.
You bit down on it, nodding knowing that you couldn't draw any more attention to this room. Sam had already done that with his yelling and slamming the door. Hearing you scream would only raise more flags for people to question and eventually help would come knocking on the door.
"Okay here we go again." Dean warned. And again pain shot through you. You bit down on the belt, but it didn't really help stifle your screams, all it did was keep you from grinding your teeth together. "Almost got it…. Got it!" Dean smiled. He threw the bullet onto the table. "Okay the hard parts over Y/N, stay awake with me."
You tried, but your eyes grew heavy and you were out again.
Your throat felt like sandpaper, your tongue scraping against your dry lips. You groaned and tried to sit up. "Hey hey hey, why don't we just relax? Take it easy?" Dean's large hands pushed you back down gently.
You opened your eyes, blinking slow. "What happened?" Dean stood above you, his own cuts not seen too yet were clotted shut. The few places it had dripped down were caked dry, meaning you had been here longer than you thought. Dean sitting by your side to make sure you were alive.
"You were shot." His voice was thick, his words hanging in the air. "But you're okay. I got the bullet out and you lost a lot of blood, but you'll live." His hand covered yours, dry and scratchy against your soft one. He smiled, because he knew you were going to make it now. And you could tell it was a real smile, not like the one from before that was hiding secrets.
You propped yourself up slightly, looking around the room. "Where's Sam?"
"I uh-. He left to get some more supplies." Dean said, sitting down in the chair he had moved to be closer to you. For the first time since you woke up he didn't look at you, looking at his blood covered boots instead.
"You know usually you're such a good liar." You laid yourself back down, hissing at the pain as you moved. Your hand went to your side, pressing the bandage harder against you, easing the pain momentarily.
"Yeah well." Dean shrugged
You both sat in silence for a moment. Your eyes growing heavy again. Dean sighed, kicking his foot up against the side of your bed. You didn't open your eyes, letting the weight of them win."Are you okay?" You asked.
"Compared to you, I'm perfect. Just a few bruises and cuts. But how are you feelin'?" Dean leaned forward, his boot scraping against the carpet so he could rest his elbows on his thighs.
"Lots of pain." You said, looking over at him with half open eyes.
"Oh yeah here." Dean jumped up, making his way to the other side of your bed. "You still have some of the pills from when you went to the hospital."
Dean helped you to a sitting position, hands pushing you against the headrest gently. It seemed like it took forever, but Dean was kind and patient with you. Every time you hissed in pain he would stop, wait a moment and continue. He handed you a pill and a cup of water, water you drank down happily and quickly. "Is it bad looking? The bullet wound?"
"Nah, pretty clean. But you're going to have a pretty nasty scar." Dean faked a smile at you, you could tell he wasn't lying, but you could also tell he wasn't happy about it either.
"Awesome." You said, leaning your head back against the headboard.
"What the hell man! You just take off in a time like this?!" Dean yelled, and by the time you pried your eyes open you watched Dean push his little brother hard. Two hands against the larger mans chest. Sam didn't move though, his feet were firmly pressed into the ground. He let his brother push him though, not bothering to care about what Dean could possibly do to him.
"I had to get out." Sam's voice sounded almost as if a part of him had died. The words were slow and lacked any and all emotion. "I needed to clear my head."
"Well I hope it worked, because news flash! She's still hurting! You can't run away from this one Sam." Dean tried to whisper, you could tell he was straining himself to be quiet so he didn't wake you. He didn't know you were already laying their awake, listening to them with your eyes closed.
"I know." Again his voice seemed dead inside. He spoke through clenched teeth, his arms loosely hanging at his side. He seemed defeated, hanging his head low.
Dean moved, and for a moment everything was silent. You thought about opening your eyes, letting them both know you were awake now. Maybe Sam seeing you awake would cheer him up enough to not sound so upset.
"She asked for you when she woke up." He was quiet now, you almost didn't catch him talking, sleep threatening you once more. But you fought it, needing to hear Sam. Hear why he left you like this.
"She did?" Sam asked
"Yeah. She was wondering where the hell you were." Dean scoffed
"What did you tell her?" Sam nodded and sighed. He'd expected you to ask. He'd have been more shocked if you didn't.
"You were getting supplies. But she knows I was lying." Dean's anger seemed long gone. But you knew he was still upset with Sam, hell you were still upset with Sam. "Where did you go?"
Sam cleared his throat, a lump was starting to form there; blocking his ability to talk with a normal voice. "Back to the house. More showed up so I didn't go inside. But I wanted to."
"And sacrifice yourself getting killed?! Damnit Sam, what is wrong with you?" Dean slammed his fist against the wall, you flinched but it went unnoticed as Sam and Dean were too busy focusing on one another to focus on you.
"I don't know." Sam said plainly.
"You're not thinking right. Come on. Use your brain." Dean's voice was hushed, but the anger in his words seeped out into the air and even you could feel it. You opened your eyes for a moment, seeing the nice little crack in the wall from Dean's hitting, he stood now with his chest puffed out, while Sam leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
"I am." Sam said threw clenched teeth.
"No you're not. You almost went into a coven alone with what? A handful of bullets? They'd have killed you the second you stepped foot on that yard." Dean's voice rose, and if you had been asleep, you were pretty sure you'd be up now. He was yelling as if you weren't there.
"I know."Sam pried himself off the wall, "But I needed to do something."
"Be here for her! She needs you man." Dean pointed to you laying on the bed.
"I can't. I can't be here for her knowing I did this to her." Sadness was in Sam's voice now. And Dean realized that he hadn't once looked at you since being here. That Sam had tried hard to stay on the other side of the room, farthest he could be from you.
Sam couldn't get close to you. Not now that he messed up and hurt you. He'd never messed up so bad while working, never once almost ended the life of someone he cared about with his own hands. Sam didn't know what to do, how to process this.
Dean was covering you with a blanket the next time you woke up, a soft simple gesture that filled you with compassion for him. He tucked it in just right, not too tight, not too loose. You felt the back of his hand press to your forehead for a few seconds while he checked to feel if you were running a fever.
Dean sighed, throwing himself into the chair at your side. Again you kept your eyes closed, listening to the soft sounds of Dean's breathing next to you. "Sammy left again." Dean spoke softly. "And I hope he didn't go back to that coven. I hope he's just outside, getting air. I've never seen him like this. I mean when he lost Jess he was tore up, but not like this. Or he didn't let me see him like this."
Dean leaned forward, grabbing your hand in his large one. He lifted it, raising it to his forehead where he leaned against it. His lips pressed against your hand, a soft little kiss against your skin. You knew you were blushing, skin turning pink.
You didn't hear Dean rise to his feet, or lean over the bed. You didn't hear anything with your heart pounding in your chest because Dean kissed your hand. And when he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours you felt like you were going to explode.
It was a soft kiss, Just lips meeting lips, but enough to make you open your eyes for a moment to make sure it was real. Dean's hand cupped your cheek and he pressed a little harder against you, pulling you towards him.
And just as fast as it happened it ended. You tried to control your breathing, tried to hide the fact that your heart was racing a million miles a minute. And apparently you were.
"I've been wanting to do that for so long." Dean said, brushing a few strands of your hair out of your face.