Holy shit, i'm updating o.o It's not a long chapter, but an update none the less. Yay me! ^.^ And yes, I changed my pen name for various reasons :) I hope it won't confuse you to much!

I'll start with an recap of the last chapter. Please enjoy!

He was so far in his thoughts that he didn't notice a tall figure approaching him from behind, walking soundlessly on the grass of the ship. If he had he would have most probably reacted, tried everything to avoid a confrontation with the one person he couldn't look at just yet.

But alas he didn't notice. So he was startled quite a bit when Zoro's voice came from behind him.

"I don't really want to disturb you in your thoughts, but I really think we have to talk."

"I don't think so, Marimo. There is nothing to talk about."

Even though it was night, Zoro could see Sanjis reaction immediately. A short jump out of shock before going completely rigid.

It ached his heart to see him reacting like that. Which confused him even more since he wasn't sure where exactly this feelings were coming from. He let out a sigh from deep within his heart.

"You know, I understand why you think like that, but we can't just leave it at that. You refusing to look at me and now I don't know how to act around you. Yes, the others haven't noticed that there is something off. Yet! It won't be long until they know. We have to do something."

"We? WE have to do nothing! I don't want to see or hear you. I would be glad if I didn't have to be near you ever again."

Zoro knew he was only saying that because he was hurt and because he was always reminded of Sara whenever Sanji looked at him, but still, no one could have prepared him for the wave of hurt this sentence would send through his body.

Seeing that Sanji still didn't turn around and apparently had no intention to do so, Zoro allowed himself to put his arms around himself, trying to get some warmth back into his body.

"Can you please stop? We're still Nakama! Neither will I leave the ship nor will I just drop dead on the spot. But it's nice to know you don't care about me in the slightest. We never got along very well, but until now I thought that we're Nakama."

By now Zoro was already talking himself into a rage. He wasn't able to hold back any longer. The hurt he was feeling was way too much and all those other emotions confused him to no end. He reacted in the only way he knew. He blew up.

"I know I wasn't very nice to you but you gave as good as you got! It was our way of being Nakama. But if you don't care about that any longer, then fine. Wallow in your self-pity and go to hell for all that I care."

With that said he turned around on the spot and left to go to the crow's nest. He couldn't take the sight of Sanji right now.

(*~+~*)

Back on deck Sanji couldn't help but watch after Zoro. He didn't even have strength to fight and argue with him.

He leaned back on the railing and slid down to sit on the grass. He noticed his cigarette was already out so he threw it in the water and put on a new one. It didn't make him feel better but at least his frantic thought calmed down a bit when he focused on inhaling and exhaling the smoke. He let his head fall back to the railing and let out a big sigh.

His mind knew perfectly well, that Zoro wasn't at fault. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. But by now Sanji wasn't sure if he should be glad Zoro was turned into Sara, because he would never have met her otherwise or if he thought it would have been better if he never even met her. His mind was a mess.

Zoro's angry face from before came to his mind. He knew there wasn't only anger in those eyes but a bit of hurt as well. But he couldn't help it. He didn't know how to act around him any longer. How did he do it in the past? It seemed so many years away that they had bickered naturally. Before everything they were just pushing each others buttons but it was so very different now. It was more severe now. His reason knew that it couldn't continue like that but his heart just couldn't care enough about it at the moment.

After taking a last drag from his cigarette he stood up and went to the galley, fetched him a glas and poured him a large shot of whiskey. He usually wasn't one for drinking but he hoped it would calm his nerves. As it burned down his throat he decided that maybe, just maybe it would be a good idea to try to get some sleep. All his fears about the dreams aside, sleep could be just what he needed to put his thoughts in something remotely resembling an order.

But for tonight he didn't want to go back to the stuffy room known as the men's quarters. He couldn't take Luffy sleep talking about meat or Usopps loud snores. Not tonight. So he took another big shot of whiskey, put the bottle and the glass away and laid down on the couch in the galley. For tonight he would sleep here. The others wouldn't even notice anyway. He was the first one to rise each morning because he needed to prepare the breakfast every day.

Apparently his body knew how much he needed sleep right now and granted it almost immediately.

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