Chemistry Of Connection

"If we stood close to each other, side by side, as true brothers and sisters, then evil would not know how to stand between us." ― Suzy Kassem

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." ― Brad Boney

The chemistry lesson was over. Nothing had exploded. But Donatello didn't like the silence. Usually, Mikey would jump up and announce his ideas for a new recipe inspired by whatever Don was working on, and Donnie would secretly hope there would be chocolate involved. Oh, how they both loved chocolate.

But this time, Mikey sat there in the second desk chair, tapping against the table next to Don's main desktop computer. Don didn't like how his ankle, crossed over his thigh, kept twitching at an impossible speed.

Mikey had healed up remarkably well after his and Raphael's battle with interdimensional shadow creatures in a collapsing building; he had emerged from his coma two months ago seemingly okay. But it had cost him: Gaia had to help Don look up dyspraxia and how it affected perception, behavior, and especially learning, memory, and thought. And every now and then, Mikey would drop something he was carrying, or walk into the table instead of to a chair, or pause imperceptibly during sparring to recall his direction, or repeat himself when excited, or get clumsy and more cluttered than usual, or suddenly become too sensitive to stimuli. And it really was infrequent, and physically Mikey really was ever the incredible acrobatic ninja, but still Donatello worried to the point where he had Splinter, April, or Gaia side-eyeing him whenever any discussion about Michelangelo's skills came up, and even Leonardo didn't seem so concerned about Mikey's occasional pauses in battle, because Mikey was still just so fast it was as if only Donnie noticed the lapse in coordination; it was as if the dyspraxia was just bringing Mikey down a level, and he was already so quick and agile... and at one point Raph had mentioned that Mikey's ADHD already made it seem almost normal; to which Gaia added that the two conditions tended to go hand in hand, that it was not uncommon for a head injury to cause dyspraxia especially with ADHD...

But still, Don would feel that anxiety twisting, and he couldn't stop it. And he would feel Gaia's kitten-soft hand on his shoulder, her empathic energy flowing into him, or Splinter simply gazing at him, until his muscles relaxed and the knots in his belly untwisted. April no longer made him blush and fidget quite like he used to, but her smile still helped him smile.

It got to a point where Gaia's veterinarian sister came to the lair to examine both Mike and Don. She recommended that Donnie start taking a daily dose of Splinter's anxiety tea, while giving him a look that would have made Raph back into a corner. And when Rhea examined Mikey, she casually announced that as long as he didn't "overdo anything" he would be fine. That made Don fret even more, until both Splinter and Rhea gave him a Look.

Now, Donatello watched his only little brother for classic signs of a simple partial seizure, and Mikey's eyes were distant staring at the computer screen, and Donnie snapped his fingers, and Mikey's gaze slid to him, and then he smiled.

"What's up, Donnie? You look worried. Again."

Inwardly, Donnie sighed. He assumed Gaia had been having these conversation with Mikey, not just because they were friends and lovers but they had similar brain issues. But he was his brother. And no, Gaia wasn't taking Mikey away; in fact she went out of her way to become friends with everyone, especially because nobody had expected a romantic relationship to form. But Donatello really wanted to know and understand and he wondered if Gaia would open up to him if Mikey wouldn't.

"Hellooo? Donnie? You okay?"

And he remembered that Mikey never went into their heads without permission, and Donnie use your words and suddenly all he could think of was Mikey in a coma again even worse until Raph started those telepathic conversations, and…

Hands were on his shoulders, and feet were drumming, and Mikey's eyes were narrowed. "Dude, talk to me. Are you okay? Am I okay? Are Leo and Raph okay? Is the world ending again?"

Donatello blinked. "Oh! No, Mikey, no, nothing like that. I was…just thinking."

"Obviously, dude. Obviously. Look, if you're havin' trouble talking, you could open up and I'll have a look and it might be less awkward."

Donnie breathed out almost in relief and looked at his only little brother fondly. How did Mikey do that? How did he make you want to smile just by looking at you and talking to you? How did he get past your walls and show you that everything would be all right when the world might be crumbling?

Before he knew it, Don had let his mental wall down and invited Mikey's telepathy into his mind, and for a few minutes there was a loud silence. And then suddenly, his only little brother was sitting in his lap, forehead to forehead, and Mikey was grinning, his eyes sparkling. "Aw, dude, relax, it'll be fine. I'll be fine. I will! Look at all the friends we've made! Leatherhead, Rockwell, Pete, not to mention April and Casey, and I wanna include Gaia and Rhea and Freya, because we can, and you know we are tough as shell. You know it's gonna be okay. Okay?"

Donatello blinked, his field of vision full of summer sky baby blue with that mischievous glint. Was he really that perpetually worried about all of them?

He glanced down and finally, suddenly, realized that Michelangelo was wearing his new leg braces again, which meant that he must be hurting badly and his heart squeezed, and he felt Mikey chuckle. "It's okay, I swear, Donnie, just relax. D'you even know how easy it is to jump around with these on? Rhea and Freya made them super sturdy. You know, before Freya went into the cosmetics industry she used to make sculptures and casts for film sets? And then she moved into hair and makeup and she made those prosthetic faces for the actors? That's a majorly awesome job, yo. She said I had, like, perfect muscle structure or whatever despite all the damage."

And he continued to chatter on, but Donnie was gazing over his plastron, his arms, his shell, the scars and chips and scratches that he couldn't heal permanently because he was an engineer not a doctor. But maybe it didn't matter so much now with their new friends, and maybe he could have a chat with Freya and Rhea about inventing medical devices just for hominid chelonians because there were no creatures anywhere like the four of them, and there certainly was no creature anywhere like Michelangelo, and he just wanted to hug his only little brother and never let any harm come to him, no matter how strong the psionics had become, because this was his only little brother, and beyond the annoying pranks, the absurd jokes, the lack of attention, the hyperactive mind, the mask of ignorance, the childlike petulance… Mikey was so powerful, and so kind, and so compassionate, and really one of the best people to have in your corner when the world was crumbling, and Donnie didn't want to lose that and he really was terrified that one day it could happen, that it would all become too much for sweet Michelangelo, and and and and…

Silence again. Mikey was staring at him, frowning. There were tears in his eyes. Mikey's arms were wrapped around his neck, and Donatello found himself yanked into a hug so intense he thought he might break, and all he could do was wrap his arms around his brother's shoulders. And they stayed that way for a while. Donnie realized he never wanted to let go.

At some point, Michelangelo whispered in his ear slit, "Donnie, Donnie, everything will be all right, I promise. If you ever, ever find yourself in doubt, you come to me and I'll give you the biggest hug ever and I will keep telling you that everything will be all right, because everything will be all right, no matter what. You are my smartest brother and I adore you and you are such a major genius and you can do everything and you always make me feel good about myself, and I just want to return the favor, so I swear, Dee, everything will be okay, no matter what."

And Donatello realized he was crying, and Michelangelo was crying, and they rocked in each other's arms. And when Mikey finally pulled away and moved back to his own chair, they just stared at each other and smiled. And Donatello said, "Can you cook something with chocolate?" And Mikey grinned like the sun and said, "If you help me, bro."

And it was going to be all right, no matter what.

"Yet even in the loneliness of the canyon I knew there were others like me who had brothers they did not understand but wanted to help. We are probably those referred to as "our brother's keepers," possessed of one of the oldest and possible one of the most futile and certainly one of the most haunting instincts. It will not let us go."
― Norman Maclean

"We can be connected and related in many ways. But what makes us more relate than our blood or DNA is our hearts and feelings. The heart and feelings form true and strong bond between people and it makes them related.
Thats why sometimes you feel like some people are part of you, or part of the family. Even if they were not born by your parents. Its because of your heart and feelings you have for those people."
― De philosopher Dj Kyos

"...because of all the things in this world that can hurt you and knock you down, I will never be one of them."
― Sawyer Belle