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As Color Fades Away
Chapter Seventy-Nine
Lance awoke to the soft sound of light laughter.
Allura, his mind supplied, and the answering deeper chuckle was Coran. What were they laughing about?
He blinked open his eyes, vision obscured momentarily by Hunk's back – Hunk, he breathed, hands already tangled in the fabric of his shirt and he tightened his grip anyways – so he focused on what he could make out. There was a weight on his stomach and a glance of his eyes down picked out Pidge's mused hair. There was another warmth at his back and across his chest that upon slightly turning his head he made out was Keith.
He blinked at that.
When had Keith gotten here?
Something was pressing down on his head too as he shifted it up and they revealed themselves to be Shiro's knees. Shiro was here too?
He pushed his own feet down and heard a slight oof that sounded a lot like Coran.
Was everyone asleep on the floor?
He tried to maneuver himself up but Keith's arm tightened about his chest and Pidge's hands dug into his stomach where she apparently had them resting beneath her head.
Okay. Not moving apparently. That was fine. He was quite comfortable anyways. Besides, he had nowhere he needed to go. Right here, snuggled up with his family, in one big sleepy pile was perfect. Because once they all awoke…
His hand tightened in Hunk's shirt.
They were going to talk about everything that had happened.
He swallowed heavily. Was he ready? Not entirely, but Blue was right. They did have to talk. And once he'd told them everything he knew he would feel… lighter, he supposed. This wasn't quite the same as the cloying guilt that had wracked him when he was keeping secret from them his attempt to kill himself. They all vaguely had an idea of things that had happened, although he had been completely mum on the Astral Plane, only acknowledging Allura's question of if the barrier had worked with a small nod. He hadn't mentioned eventually it had worked because the whole reason it hadn't was that he'd apparently let Haggar nab a bit of his quintessence and that still sent his stomach rolling.
"Lance?" Allura's voice sounded soft above him and he pulled his face free from where he'd buried it against Hunk's side, to see her leaning somewhat over him. "Ah, I thought you were awake," she smiled. "Stuck?"
"Apparently," he managed a small smile. "It's fine though. I'm—" Pidge's hand dug into his stomach as she twitched – "comfortable," he finished with a wheeze.
Allura hummed, hiding a laugh. "Very well then, I shall leave you to it. Coran and I are off to start some tea and breakfast."
"Breakfast?" Lance repeated, hoping his alarm was not quite as prevalent. Because Coran? So far he had one edible dish to his name and Lance knew they were out of the fruit – they were low on a lot of supplies, actually, but only Coran and Pidge seemed to know why and they had yet to say anything to the group – that was used to make it.
"Just your standard delicious food goo," Coran replied, and Lance felt him shifting by his feet and then rising to stand, joining Allura in looming above. "Unless you were putting in a request for a Paladin breakfast?"
Lance's face scrunched up and both Alteans laughed. Pidge stirred a bit again and the noise and about a minute after the two had made their exit she shifted further, stretching and clubbing Lance in the face with a small closed fist. Lance let out a soft ouch, more amused than scared by the fact his face had just been touched because somehow, it wasn't scary at all when the perpetrator had no idea that they'd done it, and he especially had gotten better with Pidge's small hands by his face.
That though had Pidge jerking awake with his name on her lips and his ouch turned back into a wheeze as her hands pressed on his stomach as she flipped herself around, finally coming to land on her own front and spread across him like a blanket.
"Hi," she grinned, as judging by the lack of reaction from Lance he wasn't actually retreating and she could proceed as normal.
"Hi," he gasped, her elbows digging into his chest now just above where Keith still had a solid arm flung over him.
"Looks like our pile grew," Pidge remarked from her high vantage point.
"Coran and Allura I think were part of it too," Lance told her. "They went to get tea and food goo."
"Guess that means we should start waking people up, huh? Wouldn't want them to miss delectable food goo."
Lance's eyes widened in alarm as Pidge set her sights past him to land on Shiro.
"Pidge, wait," he hissed as she moved to scramble up him like he was some jungle gym. "Don't wake Shiro!"
"I'm already awake," came the dry reply. "Just too comfortable to get up."
"I used to know that feeling," Lance said, tone light and Pidge stuck her tongue out at him, drawing a chuckle from Shiro and Lance felt the knees that had been pressing against the top of his head move and then Shiro was sitting next to them, hair mused and looking nearly as relaxed as Lance had ever seen him.
Pidge noticed it too and said as much.
Shiro's flesh hand rubbed the back of his head. "I am. I'm… I'm just really happy."
"Yeah," Pidge murmured, glancing about the sleeping pile of her family, all here and all safe. "Me too."
"I also really have to pee," Shiro announced, getting to his feet with a sharp crack of his back. "So I'll leave you two to wake everyone else." His expression grew a bit more serious then. "Be careful with Keith. He… he might lash out. But I think you'll be fine."
Shiro really thought so too. For one Keith was not armed with his knife, but more than that it was the way he was holding onto Lance. His grip was secure but not that almost desperate one that Shiro had witnessed him cuddle his blanket to him, as though he was afraid it would leave. He couldn't make out much of Keith's face, squashed as it was against Lance's shoulder, but his brow was smooth.
Still, he felt it only fair to call out a warning in case Keith did instinctually still swing out, in which case Lance would likely be getting a second smack to his face. It was good practice though, Shiro thought. He'd heard how Lance had reacted to Pidge's unintentional hit and being as Keith's would be in the same vein if it happened he didn't anticipate any problems. He knew Lance had had some setbacks immediately following the attack and the aftermath, but he had made strides forward once more in the three days of healing and peace afterward.
Keith was in good hands. Shiro nodded to himself as he headed out the door. This was a needed step for everyone involved.
"Lash out how?" Lance called after the retreating back and got a wave in return. "Shiro!"
"Dibs on Hunk!" Pidge grinned as their leader disappeared. And before Lance could protest she'd pushed herself up and flipped over Hunk's back.
Lance sighed without any actual heat and turned his head towards Keith, of which he could only make out part of his mullet and then of course the hand.
"Hey," Lance tapped his own fingers atop Keith's. "Sleeping mullet. Wake up." Keith's only reaction was to tighten his fingers where they were entangled in Lance's shirt.
New plan. Lance shifted his one arm down and was able to lightly sink his elbow into Keith's side, Given Shiro's warning he didn't want to do anything more drastic.
At that Keith made a sleepy sort of mumble. Lance tried it again. After the third time the mumble had turned into a more displeased groan and there was something that sounded like a very drawn out "what?"said into Lance's side.
"Wakey wakey mullet," Lance sing-songed, elbowing him again.
Keith ignored the tone as he slowly awoke, confusion reigning although he didn't let it show. Last he remembered Shiro had been carrying him to the couch and now he was… on the floor? Next to Lance?
He blinked open sleep-crusted eyes, a navy shirt greeting him that he realized must be Lance's.
"Awww," he heard Hunk, sounding half-asleep too, practically smile. "That's adorable."
"Isn't it?" and he could hear Pidge's grin. "And I thought I was the clingy one."
"You still are," Lance told her and Keith felt him shift. And he felt that because he realized he had completely thrown his arm about Lance and was clutching at him like he normally did his bedding. Keith's face flamed and he was glad it was hidden. Against Lance. His face grew hotter.
"Do you want me to pull him off?" Hunk offered.
"Nah, he's fine," and Keith felt Lance's hand pat atop his own. "I know how post cryo-pod exhaustion feels. I'm actually surprised you woke up so fast, Hunk."
A loud grumble sounded then and Hunk laughed sheepishly. "My stomach won this morning. Speaking of… breakfast?"
"Allura and Coran went to get goo," Pidge informed.
"Ugh, no," Hunk groaned and there was the shuffling noise of Hunk climbing to his feet. "Absolutely not. I am not letting the day start with that."
"Um… Hunk?" Lance's hand stilled where it had been tapping out a rhythm on top of Keith's. "The kitchen is… um…"
Keith frowned at the hesitation. The kitchen was what?
What had he missed?
"I'll be okay," Hunk said gently. "It... it is cleaned up, right?"
"Yeah," Pidge chimed in, voice also low. "Good as new. Well, not the one wall," and Keith felt Lance flinch, "but otherwise, yeah. But, um, how about I go with you? Just… just in case."
In case of what? What was in the kitchen? Keith hated being out of the loop.
"Sure, I'd like that. You good here, Lance?"
"Yup, perfectly peachy."
"We'll be back soon then," Pidge said. "Tell Shiro where we went?"
"Roger."
After their footsteps had faded away Lance tapped his fingers a little stronger atop Keith's hand. "I know you're awake," and while the tone was light there was the slightest waver. "You okay?"
Keith slowly released his grip, sliding his arm back to himself and then rising to sit up, Lance sprawled out next to him looking an odd mixture of relaxed and tense. "What happened in the kitchen?"
Lance winced and Keith realized perhaps that hadn't been the best way to ask.
"Sorry," he muttered. "That was stupid."
"I'll give you a pass," Lance attempted a smile. "Post cryo brain mush." His eyes cut away then though and he let out a small sigh. "We're doing a debrief, I'm guessing after breakfast," saying as much that he wasn't going to talk about it now. Keith nodded. Fair enough. Lance's eyes swung back a second later to meet his. "You okay though? Really?"
"I think so," Keith said slowly. "I don't really remember much. But… I think so."
"That is very convincing," Lance teased, but he seemed to be in slightly better spirits and sat up himself, running a hand through his hair and making it stick up even more.
Keith stared.
Because Lance had just used his right hand. And it had moved and responded without any sort of tremble.
Lance seemed to guess what Keith was thinking and let out a sort of sad sounding chuckle. "Yeah. Hand is fixed." He swallowed thickly. He may as well try and start talking now as the debrief was indeed coming and coming quick. "Haggar," the name stumbled of his tongue, "she was good for something at least."
Keith blinked, looking at Lance's hand and then to the downturned face. And without even thinking about it he reached over and yanked Lance into a none too graceful hug, nearly tipping the taller boy sideways. Lance went right with it, hands coming up to grip at Keith's arms with a quiet sniffle.
"I'm glad you're okay," Keith said softly.
"You too," Lance whispered. "Keith… we thought you were dead. You and Pidge. We… I…" his grasp tightened. "We thought…"
Keith just hugged him tighter.
That was the scene the others walked in on a few minutes later; Shiro hair damp from a quick shower, Coran carrying a tray of teacups and tea, while Hunk and Pidge had an assortment of random toasted breads, jellies and a melon that had survived the purge. Hunk had no idea what happened to their foodstock and he knew this wasn't much, but it was something different from food goo in any case and he'd needed the few moments of buttering the bread to calm himself as he puttered around the kitchen.
Pidge had been correct in that everything minus the hole Theodek had blasted in from the conference room had been cleared. Hunk didn't remember a lot of his time in the kitchen except for when he'd heard Lance screaming as Theodek ripped apart his hand – he hurriedly shoved that memory to the wayside as his stomach twisted – and so while the kitchen had clearly been a battlezone that had deeply affected Lance – Pidge had told him quietly about their attempt to go there and how Lance hadn't set foot in the place since – he had been okay.
Well, as okay as any of them were.
"You guys all right?" Shiro asked quietly, settling down next to Keith, who released Lance from the hug after one last squeeze.
"Yeah," Lance rubbed at his eyes. "Fine."
"Eat up, Paladins," Coran cut into the growing silence with as much pep as possible. "Otherwise I shall see to it that the mice get your toast and jam and you their food goo."
"Hell no," Pidge yelped and Shiro's tired, resigned sigh of "language" had Lance snickering and just like that the atmosphere moved back into something lighter.
Too soon though for Lance's liking the last crumbs were being eaten and the plates cleared by happy squeaking mice. He knew this was for the best, but…
His hands clenched in his lap and Hunk sitting next to him, placed a calming hand on his knee and gave it a squeeze.
"So," Shiro said, looking around the circle they had made in the nest of blankets and pillows. "It's time we all talked about what happened. That said…" he met each pair of eyes about the circle, "this is not an interrogation whatsoever. You can share whatever you feel comfortable doing so. I've found," and he turned a gentle smile towards Lance, "that talking about things that are bothering you can really help." Lance returned it tentatively.
There was quiet then, broken only by the sound of soft squeaks as the mice battled over the piece of toast next to Allura. Lance hated that he could feel his breathing start to pick up. Who was going to speak first? Should he say something? He wasn't really ready yet to—
"I'll start," Keith blurted out and Lance nearly sighed with relief. "I don't have much to say though," he admitted.
He told them that he remembered being in the Galra cruiser and the instant he had realized something was indeed off when the alien had said "she" instead of "he" in regards to Coran. "I dove to cover Pidge," he said quietly. "Tried to draw my shield but it all happened too fast. Just remember fire and screaming."
Pidge picked up the story haltingly then, sharing how she had come to outside the wreckage of the ship and realized Keith must still be inside. She had hugged herself then, whispering that she had seen Amalia's body and hadn't known if Keith was still alive. But she had to try and had managed to make her way there where she'd found him buried under the console.
Keith had gotten up then and crossed the circle to sit next to Pidge, squeezing in between her and Allura, and she had latched onto his hand as she continued her story, describing how she had managed to free him. She'd whispered how badly he had been hurt, how his helmet visor had been cracking, and she knew she didn't have much time.
What she didn't say was how terrified she had been, scared that she was too late, that he was going to die and she wasn't going to be able to save him after he had saved her. It didn't need said aloud though and Keith had pulled her into a tight hug, whispering a thank you into her hair. Without the cover of glasses, which Pidge had taken to carting around in her pocket in a small case, her eyes had shone with bright tears undisguised.
So she'd maneuvered him towards the castle but had run into a problem as she didn't have enough fuel to make the distance. So, she winced, gingerly touching her cheek, she had given Keith her helmet to connect to his oxygen tank and had used what remained of hers to propel them to the castle.
She'd finished her story by explaining that she had hauled Keith via a tarp to the infirmary and then, sending a guilty look in his direction, how she had pumped him with adrenaline to wake him up and get him into the pod, which she had had to recalibrate after she realized it was hurting Keith instead of healing him.
"I… I think I remember that," Keith said slowly, placing now Pidge's desperate cries of get up.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "You were in so much pain and—"
"Pidge," Keith interrupted. "Don't. You saved my life."
"Only because you were able to save mine," she countered. "Which you needed to do because I didn't listen to you when you said you thought it was a trap."
Allura coughed lightly, drawing their attention. "None of us listened," she said softly, guilt coloring her words. "I cannot apologize enough to either of you. I made the decision to send you—"
"And I already told you, we'd do it again," Keith cut her off. "That's what we do, right?"
"Yes," Allura replied softly. "But Keith, I should have still listened to you. The Red Lion chose you for many reasons, but one is indeed your sharp instincts. You alerted us that something felt wrong and we did not listen."
Keith shrugged uncomfortably. "It was just a feeling."
"I shall be taking your feelings into high consideration going forward," Allura said. "I know it cannot negate what has happened here, but I shall strive to do better to listen, even if it to advice that cannot be fully explained."
Keith inclined his head in her direction and Allura's shoulders untensed.
"So, um, after I got Keith in the pod I went to find you guys," Pidge said. "But I found Haggar."
"I'm going to cut you off there, kiddo," Shiro said gently. "Just for a little bit, if that's all right. There are some missing pieces I want to fill in first before we get to… to that."
Coran placed a steadying hand on Shiro's shoulder and he shot the advisor a grateful look. "Guess it's my turn then," he said. His palms were suddenly sweaty and there was a knot forming in his throat but Shiro pushed past it. He hadn't even gotten to the worst part yet.
Shiro started with how he and Allura had gone to fight Haggar when they realized she had boarded the ship, sending Hunk and Lance to the Lions in an effort to get away from the castle. He had encountered Haggar on his own and the two had fought, although he chuckled without humor at the word.
"It was less of a fight and more of a beatdown," he said quietly, and Lance threaded his hand into Shiro's flesh one. "I couldn't land a hit. I was so… angry." He glanced up, catching Keith's eyes before they drifted to Pidge. "I thought you had died. And Haggar… she rubbed it in. If she had actively been trying to kill me I would have died. But she wanted me to come back with her. Tried to make a deal if Lance and I went with her she'd leave the rest of you alone."
"Shiro," Lance murmured.
"Of course her words are lies," Shiro continued. "Still. If Allura hadn't come I… I'm pretty sure Haggar would have incapacitated me."
"I came with Coran," Allura picked up the tale. "But he remained waiting in the hall to surprise Haggar."
She told of how she and Shiro had fought Haggar, how she had heard Hunk calling for help against Theodek and shot him a despair-filled look. "I truly regret not realizing Haggar's ploy to separate us yet again. You and Lance were in terrible danger and we were unable to assist."
"Not your fault," Hunk met her eyes. "Lance figured it out, but even still…" He shook his head. "We couldn't get to the Lions. We got cut off before we could really even try."
Next to him Hunk felt Lance tremble at the foray into their part of the battle, but Allura steered it back to her own for the moment. Hunk reached over and drew Lance to his side, thumb rubbing small circles on Lance's shoulder and he leaned into the touch.
Allura said Coran had found an opening in the fight and had taken a shot at Haggar, point blank in the head. Every head had whirled to face Coran, whose normally genial expression was gone and a sorrowed, hardened version had taken its place.
"You… shot Haggar?" Lance repeated, voice small. He hadn't even had any idea that Coran could use a gun, let alone with such a shot. It was what he should have done to start with Theodek. Regret still burned deep no matter what Hunk had said.
"Yes," Coran said simply. "But it was not enough."
"It did injure her," Allura clarified, "but Haggar's spells and defenses were strong indeed. Still… we thought we might have had a chance. But then…" her hand went to her stomach. "Haggar… she…"
Allura found herself struggling for words and to her surprise found Keith laying a tentative hand on her shoulder in a show of support.
"Thank you," she murmured, placing her own on top of it.
"Haggar attempted to kill me," Allura finally said. "She utilized our reaction to her teleportation habits and surprised us. She… she would have succeeded had Coran not…"
Allura very carefully grabbed the hem of her tunic and lifted it. Keith and Hunk were the only ones who had not known of the wound, but neither Pidge or Lance had seen the resulting scar. The flesh was still shades lighter and she was not certain it would ever darken, and surrounding it was the raised ripple of scar tissue.
"Allura," Hunk breathed and next to him Lance sucked in a harsh breath.
"Coran healed me," she said softly, "and the mice offered up some of their own lifeforce to prolong mine." At the address all four of the small creatures arranged themselves in Allura's lap, nudging against her legs. She lifted her eyes to the group, letting the shirt fall back down. "It is only because of them that I am alive. The wound should have been fatal."
"You can heal?" Keith turned to Coran.
Coran lightly inclined his head. "It appears so, lad. Although only with the aid of a circle; I cannot do it on my own. We were beyond fortunate such was at our disposal."
"You're okay?" Hunk asked Allura quietly, searching her face.
She nodded. "Yes. I admit, I…" her hands twisted in her tunic, "I am still somewhat shaken by what could have happened. But it is in the past now and I am looking forward."
There was a moment of tender silence then, horror at how close Allura had yet again come to death, how easily a life could be extinguished, but how no matter the odds they pulled through. Relief and joy were the results that mattered.
"Haggar escaped then," Shiro continued after the silence. "And I went in search of her. We knew she was heading for you, Lance, but we didn't know where you were at that point." He trailed off. None of them knew any part of really what had happened in the interim of Shiro stumbling upon the kitchen.
Lance took a deep breath. This was it.
"We encountered Theodek," Hunk said softly and Lance sent a silent prayer that Hunk had started them off, "in the hall. After," he winced, "we sort of fell down a staircase." Lance winced too at the reminder. "Um, he didn't attack right away and Lance…" his eyes drifted down to the dark head leaning against his shoulder, although he could feel the tension even in such a relaxed pose. "Lance tried to talk him down."
"It didn't work," Lance murmured.
"But you tried," Hunk interjected. "It was… it was the right thing to do. Besides," his voice lowered, "we knew we weren't much of a match for him."
Hunk explained then that they'd taken off running, hoping to loop around through the conference rooms and double back through the kitchen towards the Lions, but Theodek had been capable of tracking them. How, Hunk said, he still didn't know but Lance winced and Allura had a sinking suspicion her thoughts about quintessence were correct. But Lance did not offer and she did not pry.
Hunk had fought Theodek, mostly blocking him, but he'd found himself losing quickly. Theodek had turned to go after Lance and… Lance had shot him and once more tried to convince the Galran to stand down.
"Shouldn't have done that," Lance shook his head as Hunk relayed Lance's attempts for mercy. "Stupid."
"Lance," Hunk said, a warning note on his tongue but Lance just shook his head again. Hunk could say what ifs and pose other scenarios, but the fact was his reluctance to kill again had nearly killed Hunk. There was no going around that.
"Lance," Allura called gently, "look at me."
Lance shook his head, keeping his eyes down. He didn't want to see the disappointment there.
"Lance," her voice was firmer now but still gentle, "look at me." He hesitantly raised his eyes across the circle to meet hers, but there was no judgment to be found. "Your decision to show mercy is not 'stupid'. Such a choice is what makes you you, Lance. I would not want you any other way."
"But…"
"Sometimes though we do have to make decisions that we do not care for," Allura continued, softer and Lance flinched. "But I wish dearly that none of you were never in such a position where the act of taking another's life must be the outcome for your own safety. It is something we will have to address going forward if…" she cut herself off with a slight shake of her head. "But Lance, there is no blame to be found in your actions. Please, do not dwell anymore on it."
Lance managed a nod.
Hunk picked up the story again, voice carefully blank even though Lance could feel his slight tremble, as he told of how Theodek had charged for Lance and Hunk had dived in front, taking the blow. His hand made its way to his side, where a thick scar rested just above his hip and wrapped across his stomach that the pod had not fully been able to diminish. Theodek had blasted them and Hunk quietly said that was pretty much the end of his part.
Lance swallowed as he felt eyes turn to him. He had to speak now.
"Lance," Shiro said gently, sensing his hesitation, and placed a hand on Lance's shoulder, "you don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to."
"No," Lance shook his head. "N-no. It's fine. You… you should know."
And he knew, once it was all out, he would feel better. He just had to push through. So he did. Lance spoke of how Theodek had targeted him, but once realizing Hunk was alive had gone for him. So Lance had thrown knifes – poorly, he sighed – to try and stop him. It had drawn Theodek's attention, but… Lance found his fists clenching to try and stop the shaking as he whispered out how Theodek had hurt him, had pinned him down and ripped open his arm, taunted him that he wasn't a Paladin.
Shiro shifted closer so he could more fully wrap an arm about the slender shoulders beneath Hunk's arm and he exchanged a look with Hunk's honey eyes over Lance's bowed head.
"I thought he was going to kill me," Lance choked out. "It h-hurt so m-much…"
"Shh," Shiro soothed, pressing a kiss to the top of Lance's head. "It's okay now. It's over. But I think that's enough—"
"No," Lance whispered. "I have to…" He swallowed thickly. "I have to." He had to get it out. If he stopped now then he didn't know when he would find it in him to speak again and those memories would twist his insides until he did.
"I woke up during that," Hunk put in carefully, "to Lance screaming. I… I was able to summon my bayard and aimed it at Theodek. I passed out though and didn't… didn't wake up until last night."
Lance picked it up from there, saying the blast had indeed hit Theodek, sending him flying. But it didn't kill him. So… so Lance had yanked his hand off of the pinned knife to free himself and go back for another weapon.
"You… you pulled a knife through your hand?" Pidge repeated, eyes wide. "That was why… the towel…"
Lance whispered out a sí. "Had to stop the bleeding. But before that…"
Before that Theodek had caught him again and Lance hadn't been able to get a good hit in. He'd been thrown to the ground, Theodek saying that he was going to kill him even though he wasn't supposed to. He'd tried then to strangle him, but Lance had found one of the knives he'd thrown earlier and he… Lance flinched. He'd cut through the wound Hunk had made.
"He died then?" Hunk asked, voice small.
But Lance shook his head and it was Shiro's turn to wince. He made me, Lance had said of Theodek's death, unable to voice what had happened at that point.
"No," Lance's reply as barely audible. "He didn't." He whispered out that Theodek had asked him to kill him then and Lance had refused, even though he knew it would be a mercy at that point from the injuries. But he… he couldn't do it.
Shiro did not like where this was going.
"He grabbed my hand," Lance continued, visibly trembling now. "And he… he…" He raised one of his hands then and brought it up to his throat. After a second he made the barest motion to draw it across. Allura inhaled sharply and Keith and Coran cursed.
"He made you do it," Shiro repeated, the words hollow.
Lance's shoulders shook. "I don't… I didn't… he was dead, but… But I didn't…"
"That was beyond cruel," Allura murmured, simple but heartfelt. "I am so, so sorry, Lance."
Lance hurried on, not pausing any longer on it because his stomach still rolled at the memory. He got up and retrieved towels to try and stop some of Hunk's bleeding, casting his eyes to Hunk's side as well. He'd put one into his hand too and over his arm, knowing contaminating blood was unsafe and he was feeling faint at that point. He'd helped Hunk as much as he could and then called for help, but none had come, understandably as everyone else was fighting or… he looked to Keith and Pidge, Keith still holding an arm about the girl, presumed dead. Everyone winced.
He'd heard footsteps then and thought it was help, but…
"Haggar," Shiro filled in and got a short nod. "Oh, Lance…"
Haggar had told him Allura was dead, Lance said, and with her being there he knew the others weren't going to come to his rescue. He hadn't been able to fight, too hurt and exhausted and weak, the word bitter on his tongue. And he'd… he'd given up. Collapsed right there and hadn't put up any sort of fight.
No one interrupted him although by this point their circle was shrinking, everyone pressed up as much as they could get around him and Keith and Pidge's hands were on his knees, Coran's touching his arm and Allura bumping his knees with her own.
Haggar had healed him then. He couldn't remember all the details but something about fading. Allura had quietly inputted that he sounded as though he was near death and if he died then so did his quintessence. It was an action Haggar took to make sure he remained alive.
She had put her attention on his right arm where Theodek had ripped it open. But she'd done more than that. Lance had realized it when he had been able to clench his right hand and discovered she had actually fixed it completely.
Druid magic was indeed something, Coran had murmured gravely.
She'd also "healed" his left hand, infusing the towel into the flesh. Hunk made a choking noise and after a minute they'd resumed when he got managed to convince his stomach not to heave out breakfast. Coran had fixed that though, Lance added, later. It was as good as it had been, and he demonstrated by stretching it out in front of him, although Allura captured it between her own and made no move to let go and Lance did not wish for her to.
Haggar had then tried to make him a deal to take him and Shiro back with her and leave the others, although Lance still didn't know why. Pidge had filled that part in, glancing at Coran for confirmation, that Haggar had probably hoped to use Lance as a battery as had been the original goal. "She was really obsessed with you," Keith said, disgusted.
In her negotiations though Haggar had mentioned the Lions and Lance had recalled the barrier. It was still untested but he had a feeling if he could get Haggar to try and take his quintessence then that something would happen.
And he'd been right. A small smile tugged up his lips. It had been painful to start, but they had eventually ended up in the Astral Plane and the Lions had been there, protecting him. They had made a barrier and it was beautiful.
Haggar had shown up and the Lions had attacked, Lance trying his best to describe the beauty of their astral forms; white and colored light swirling with their element, and he'd thought they were going to win. But Haggar had pushed them back with what he later learned was a piece of his own quintessence, tainted though with Haggar's own.
"How?" Pidge's hand tightened on his knee. "When did she…?"
"The first time we went to the Plane," Lance said quietly. "I didn't know though. I swear." He looked up at Allura, eyes shining. "I swear I didn't know."
"I do not doubt you," Allura said, squeezing his hand. "You fought bravely there, Lance. Haggar was only able to take that drop because of how wounded you were, that is all. It is not a reflection whatsoever on your own strength and will."
"That's how she tracked us, isn't it?" Pidge asked quietly and she hated Lance's harsh inhalation.
"I believe it so," Allura said.
"Lo siento, I'm so sor—"
"Lance, lad, stop," Coran intervened. "It is not your fault, my boy. Please, believe that."
"She hurt the Lions with it," Lance whispered. "She hurt Blue. I thought… I thought she killed her. She took out Blue first, then Red and Yellow." He could feel the recoil from both Hunk and Keith at the mention of their Lions. "She broke the barrier and came after me. But…" he Lance recalled the feeling of fight and relayed as such, about how he had summoned a wave and shoved Haggar away.
"That's our Blue Paladin," Coran murmured, squeezing Lance's arm and drawing a small smile.
The Lions had come back then and, Lance said with a small grin, they'd formed their own version of Voltron, each of his limbs taking on the chosen element and placement of their Lion. They'd pushed Haggar back, destroying the tainted quintessence, and she had been on her last bit of energy then. She'd attacked in one final show and Lance had awoken then in the kitchen with Shiro standing by.
"That's amazing, Lance," Hunk whispered, awed.
"It didn't kill her though."
"It still severely weakened her," Allura said. "You had her on the run."
"She would have run too," Shiro came back in. "I'd made it to the kitchen at that point. Found Hunk and tried to staunch the bleeding a bit more. I couldn't get to Lance or Haggar; they were in some type of forcefield." He let out a low laugh. "I tried though. I was going to kill her where she sat. I know it isn't what a Paladin should do, but—"
"I would have done the same," Allura cut in, voice firm, echoed by Keith. "Do not beat yourself up for such actions, Shiro, not over her."
Shiro inclined his head, feeling the last stirrings of rage-filled guilt quell. He said how Haggar had managed to shoot him and had taken off. He chose not to pursue, remaining with Lance.
But then… then they'd heard Pidge yell and Shiro had gone after her. They hadn't known if it was a trap, but hope had burned strong that somehow Pidge was alive.
Shiro and Pidge took turns then explaining what had happened; how Pidge had chased Haggar but the witch had restored some of her flagging quintessence by draining the last bits of life from the produce, which might be funny a few weeks out but was echoed with a quiet horror right now. Haggar had gotten the upperhand and Pidge had been cornered when Shiro had arrived. Pidge acted as a distraction and Shiro exchanged blows with Haggar, who was still very weak. But Haggar had gotten around Shiro's defenses and come after Pidge again, who admitted with a flush that she'd lost her bayard for the second time in that fight, and was defenseless.
Shiro though... Shiro had come up behind Haggar and… ran his arm right through her.
"I don't want to talk about the details," Shiro said quietly, eyes lowered, and he found Coran's hand back on his shoulder and Pidge placing one on his knee in knowing. He had no desire to remember her final words to him, her sick caress. He wanted to forget. Maybe someday he'd find the strength to come back to them but right now he just wanted to focus on the fact she was dead. "But she died," he continued. "After that Pidge went to the kitchen, I got something to transport Hunk to the infirmary, and everyone who could got into pods. And that's about it."
Silence reigned in the aftermath of the retelling. Layers of horror were stacked upon bravery and hope and a sense of finality that it was actually over. It still didn't seem quite real, especially to Hunk and Keith who had barely been awake for a few hours between them.
"So what now?" Keith asked after a moment.
Shiro let out a heavy sigh. "I… I need to talk to you all about that. About your future."
He caught Allura's eye and she gave him a gentle nod. He had her support. When he had told her of his decision she had frowned in protest. "They are not children anymore," she had told him quietly, "they are Paladins, Shiro."
"I know. I know. But they've suffered enough, Allura. I can't put them through this again. I can't see them hurt anymore."
Her eyes had tracked to where Pidge and Lance were curled up with one another in the blankets in front of the occupied pods, dried tear tracks on both of their faces and her expression had saddened. "You are our leader. I will support your decision in this, but if they do not wish for this outcome then I will not force it upon them."
"Understood."
"I believe," Shiro said slowly, "it is time all of you returned to Earth."
"…what?" Pidge found her voice first and it was the flattest Shiro had ever heard.
"I will stay," he continued, "but… but what's happened recently is something none of you should have ever had to go through. You'll be safe on Earth and—"
"No," Keith's tone was hard. "No."
"Keith—"
"You can't make me," and there was a waver to it now, a sheen to Keith's eyes that made Shiro's heart clench. But this was for his own good. His safety. "Shiro, I won't."
"Keith," Shiro tried again, reaching out and getting his hand slapped away. He tried not to give into his own slowly clogging throat. "Keith, this is for the best."
"How can you say that?" Keith demanded, voice cracking. "Shiro there's nothing for me on Earth. You're my family." He blinked, realizing what he'd said, and repeated it. "You guys are my f-family. I…"
"What he said," Pidge near growled, and it was her turn to have an arm about Keith and Lance had taken Keith's hand in his own, nearly getting broken fingers from the desperate grip on the return. "And I'm not leaving without my dad and Matt. Hell no. Fuck no."
Shiro turned towards Lance and Hunk, but he was met with the same resolute if heartbroken stares from the others.
"I miss my family," Lance whispered. "I want to go home so bad. But Shiro… I can't. Not yet. Not until everyone in the universe can go home too."
"What they all said," Hunk said. "Shiro, look, I know you want us to be safe, but…"
"But this isn't how you do it," Pidge finished. "And besides, you send us to Earth and what? Expect us to just move on? Go back to normal knowing what's out there? Knowing you and Allura and Coran are in danger? I'll say it again. Fuck no."
"We're a family," Lance squeezed Keith's hand. "We stick together. No matter what."
"Guys…" Shiro looked around the circle, but the same determination was reflected from every set of eyes. He glanced to Allura and she gave him a small, knowing smile.
"You heard them, my boy," Coran said, patting Shiro's shoulder. "We are a family. We are all in this together."
"I just want you to be safe," Shiro choked out. "All of you almost died and… and…"
"But we didn't," Keith countered, although his tone was gentle. "We didn't, Shiro. That's what is important."
"The Lions chose us," Hunk said, voice strong with a conviction that had grown so much in the past week. "They chose us to save the universe. We can't turn our backs on them. Not now. Not until there's peace again."
"We know what the Galra are capable of," Lance added quietly, scarred throat bobbing as he swallowed thickly. "We can't let them hurt anyone else. Not when we can do something about it." He never wanted anyone to suffer the way he had. The way Shiro had. He had no idea how long it would take to free the universe from Zarkon's control, but what he did know was that its best chance was Voltron and his family.
Shiro's eyes were misting. "When did you all get so wise?" he choked out.
"You must be rubbing off on us," Pidge teased, and just like that the weight was gone as Shiro laughed, wet, but real.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, looking around the group but coming to rest on Keith. "I'm sorry for asking that of you."
"We understand," Keith said softly. "But you're our family, Shiro. And we aren't going anywhere." At that Shiro pulled Keith fully to him then and planted a kiss on his forehead, Keith flushing pink but leaning into the hold.
"This calls for a group hug," Coran announced and he was delighted when a smile lit up Lance's face. The fear that Haggar's distorted touch had created was nearly faded away.
A moment later they were squashed somehow even more together, arms about one another and heads clunked together, smiles and tears and laughter combining into one harmony.
It was the sound of a family completely at peace.
And it was the most beautiful sound in the entire universe.
xxx
Author's Notes:
Just one chapter (the epilogue) to go. Gosh. Can you believe it? I can't. Dios. The end is here.
But haaaa, it's me so do I ever stop? No. No I do not. I'm currently re-writing the first 20-ish chapters of this fic and hope to have it all finished by next week Friday when the story officially ends. Nothing has changed to where the current storyline is affected, but let's just say it's practically a brand new (and much, much improved) version and I'm very proud of it. I'm updating it as I go on AO3 (up through chapter 14 at this point) but will fix it all here when done. Just a little note for those of you who have expressed interest in re-reading Color once it finishes.
On that note, before you go this chapter pretty please do leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reactions. Favorite part, line, moment, character interaction. Please feed the author. You only have two more chapters to do so and she loves to hear from you!