"No way," said Pain.
"No way," said Chikushodo.
"How disgusting," said Ebisu.
They all stood in front of a Hot Topic, in the prison.
"Jeez, there are more of these than I thought," said Chikushodo.
"Well, I'm not going in." Ebisu pressed his finger to his glasses.
"We don't want you in there anyway." Pain walked into the Hot Topic.
Chikushodo followed. "Seeya, loser."
Inside the Hot Topic was a treasure trove of villains. Kimimaro checked out the skulls, Jirobo did his Jirobo thing, and Madara was manning the register.
"What a bunch of queers," said Chikushodo.
"Whatever," said Pain. "I'm gonna go check out the clothes."
He walked over and scanned the wall of shirts , his eyes stopped on a sign saying, "SALE, everything costs 15% extra."
"That's not a sale." As he continued looking through the shirts, he made a sudden realization. "All these shirts are orange!" he shouted.
This caught Jirobo's attention. "I like orange, it matches my hair."
"Shut up, fat man, go hang out with Choji!"
"Oh, you mean my cell mate? He cleans up real good, heh heh."
"You're so annoying, this is so annoying!" Pain turned around, to face Madara. "You, cashier, what's wrong with this place!?"
Madara laughed to himself.
"This hot topic sucks." Pain kicked over a stack of Funko Pop figures.
Then, right before his eyes, the stack reformed. "What the..."
Madara's maddened eyes became bulging circles. "Welcome, to my infinite Hot Topicuyomi." He howled with laughter.
"You monster, all the books here are The Catcher in the Rye, how could you?"
"You're a new fish around here, so I'll 'educate' you, this is my prison, I can turn it into whatever I want."
The room spun around, as Pain watched the shelves reform. "No, it's, it's...a Sears! These stores stopped being relevant years ago." Pain shielded his eyes.
"Look at this lame furniture," said Chikushodo.
Kimimaro eyed down a recliner. "I wonder if this would be good for my back."
"It's over," said Madara.
"Not if I have anything to say about it." Pain channeled his angst, creating a massive push, that destroyed all the furniture, and pinned everyone to the walls, everyone except Madara.
"You dare challenge me!?" Madara's shirt fell off as he hopped over the counter.
Meanwhile, Pain fastened a winter coat around himself.
"Why would you wear a winter coat? There's no air conditioning in here!" shouted Madara.
"Because it's stylish, but you wouldn't know that, poser." This statement hit Madara hard, sweat began to drip down his brow.
"Being stylish is a form of conformity, so I go shirtless."
Pain gasped as he held onto his jacket. "I need to get this off now."
"Yes, feel the pain." Madara flashed a wide, insane grin.
"Yeah, well I killed my own teacher."
Madara bent over in agony. "I pretended to be dead for over a generation, just to get revenge on the entire world."
Pain fell to the ground. "You won't defeat me, poser." He got back up to his knees. "I- I basically taxedermized my best friend, who was the greatest hope for the future of the ninja world, then used his body to cause destruction. I made his girlfriend, who loved him dearly, follow me on my path of evil, and the body you're talking to right now is his."
Madara froze in place. "Dude, that's pretty screwed up. And I'm the guy who rips out people's eyes."
"Whatever, plenty of people do that."
Having heard the news of his unoriginality, Madara lost consciousness and dropped to the floor.
Pain picked Madara's shirt up off the ground. "I'm taking this, it's pretty rad." He walked out of the store. Leaving almost everybody, plastered to the walls.