"Ugh, another crappy day in this crappy prison," said Pain, as he walked back to his cell.
As he reached his room, he stopped abruptly. There was a familiar maniacal laughter permiating his fresh, previously undisturbed, quarters.
"What's wrong Nagato? I thought you'd be happy to see me," said the voice, from the shadows.
"I'd never be happy to see you, Orochimaru."
Orochimaru stepped out of the shadows, walking in that strange pose he always does, with a creepy smile plastered on his face. "Oh, but I'm sure you will be. We're going to help eachother, break out of here."
"Ew, no way, I'd rather serve a hundred years, than work with you again." Pain crossed his arm.
"That's a shame, but...thanks to Kabuto's ninja info cards, I think I may have something that will, change your mind." He grabbed something off of the bed, and held it to the light for Pain to see.
"The complete works of Edgar Allen Poe on audio tape?"
"Muhahahahaha! I knew you couldn't resist me if I brought this."
Pain looked away in disgust. "Those are cassette tapes, what are you, seventy?"
Orochimaru looked shaken. "WHAT!? Who told you that I was that old, was it Tsunade!?"
"Chill, I didn't know." He chuckled. "Until now. No wonder you're such a poser."
"This is dragging on, the guards will come around soon. Just accept my offer."
"Fine, but you're paying for my audible subscription, and you owe me my Linkin Park CD's."
Orochimaru hissed, "Sasuke took those years ago."
"So lame." Pain marched off.
Later, a guard came to needlessly beat Orochimaru, and ended up turning into a curse marked edge lord instead.
At a table on the other side of the prison, the paths of Pain sat, trying to entertain themselves.
"Do you have any threes?" asked Shurado.
"Go fish," said Ningendo.
Pain approached them. "Hey guys, we're busting out of here."
Shurado flipped the table. "Thank God, I hate ninja prison."
"We just need to work with Orochimaru."
The group of paths, let out a simultaneous groan.
"Alright," said Ningendo. "But whatever we have to do, I'm not swallowing Orochimaru's sperm."
"Not again, you mean?" said Chikushodo.
Ningendo paused, staring everyone down awkwardly, he then power walked out of the room.
"What a weirdo." Chikushodo set the table back up.
"So, what's the plan?" asked Gokido.
Pain racked his brain, but realized, he hadn't actually discussed plans with Orochimaru. "Um, maybe we, kill the generic ninja, then blame it on fat boy, he busts a hole in the wall, and we escape?"
"What does that have to do with Orochimaru?"
"You know what? If you can come up with something better, just go for it!"
"Alright." Gokido cracked his knuckles. "We kill everyone in the prison, walk out, then go back to running the Akatsuki."
The room fell silent.
Pain stared into Gokido's eyes, which was probably like a mirror reflecting a mirror, making it awkward for everyone. "That, sounds, boring."
"We're supposed to be extracting animals anyway."
"Yeah, but the Akatsuki is boring. They're all so lame, and there's no rewards program for members."
"Plus, you probably pissed Madara off, the other day," said Chikushodo.
"You know," huffed Pain. "I thought you guys were my friends. I think I'm gonna go hang out with Orochimaru after all." He stormed off.
Chikushodo shrugged. "So, melodramatic."
Pain marched to Orochimaru's cell. "Hey, Orochisnakeguy, we're like, totally friends n-"
He arrived at Orochimaru's prison lair, a deep cackle broke through the newfound silence. What Pain witnessed, traumatised him. Orochimaru was laying in his underwear, rubbing butter, all over his body. "Come, join me Nagato."
"I immediately regret this decision." A single tear dripped down Pain's frozen face. He would never be the same again.