"The latest reports show, the newly escaped criminals, are running rampant through the city," said a reporter, on TV. "I'm here with one of them now." The camera panned to Deidara, as the reporter continued, "so, I've heard, you're one of the three Akatsuki who were incarcerated."
"Yes, I got myself locked up on purpose. I was in charge, of the prison, art class." He gave a mischievous smirk, as his eye twinkled. "When the wall came down, I was in the middle of teaching my students, that true art, is an explosion."
"That sounds dangerous."
"Not at all, there were only a couple casualties since I started that class."
"And how long were you teaching it?"
Deidara shrugged. "An hour."
The reporter tugged on his tie. "Well, we actually have here, the only villain, still left in prison. Your associate, Sasori."
The shot switched to another reporter, standing next to Sasori, wearing his Hiruko puppet.
"So, Mr. Sasori, what's it like being the only villain left in prison?"
"Deidara, I know you're watching this. When you do, I want you to know, you're an idiot."
The reporter, pulled the microphone away. "That's great, now, can you tell me why you didn't escape with the other prisoners?"
Sasori glared at the reporter. "Why don't you ask yourself, does this look like the same prison?"
The reporter laughed awkwardly, tugging at his collar. "I'm afraid we're running low on time here. So uh, what's your take on the prison break, in general?"
"You want my take?" He wrapped his tail around the reporter. "My take is...I hate waiting." His mouth opened, as he shot multiple kunai into the reporter. The camera cut to black, as the channel switched to an emergency screen.
Pain turned off the TV. "Those guys are so lame, why did I even hire them in the first place?"
He got up and opened the fridge. "Ugh, all that's in here is copies of Bram Stoker's Dracula." He looked out the window. "I need a new apartment."
The phone rang, on the other end was Orochimaru. He'd taken to calling Pain, to update him on his quest for Sasuke's affection. This time, he had offered Sasuke a bouquet of flowers. Sasuke was taken by surprise, Orochimaru didn't show his affection very often. The plan backfired though, as the flowers turned into snakes. Sasuke dropped the bouquet, then the snakes melted into butter. Pain made a habit of hanging up, whenever Orochimaru mentioned butter, which was unfortunately fairly often.
He sighed as he hung up the phone, and decided to gaze out the window.
The streets below were filled with all sorts of unusual villainy. Zabuza stole a purse from an old lady, Danzo fell over, having to call life alert, and Itachi waltzed into a Hot Topic.
"What's he doing in there?" He tried to get a better look. "He better not destroy my Hot Topic, I practically live there." A neuron fired in Pain's brain, causing him to create a pivotal idea. "Why don't I just live there?"
He grabbed his keys and walked out. "I'm getting myself a new apartment."