Random tales of Hogwarts: Keanu the Mary sue slayer.

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, the gummy bear song or Keanu Thompson. Keanu belongs to Sleepstar of Shadowclan.

It was another day at Hogwarts since Belle Hypes and Nat joined the student body and currently the terrified Slytherins were sleeping in the corners of the Great Hall. Some of the Slytherins were still asleep when a blue eyed, black haired boy crept up to them and pulled out of his robe an air horn. He put the air horn close to the nearest Slytherin student and pressed the button.

The Slytherins jumped up in the air in fright. Draco Malfoy growled at Keanu but before the blonde haired boy could do anything, the second year Gryffindor went over to Belle Hypes and Nat, his twelve inches cherry and unicorn hair wand pointing at Nat.
"What are you doing, pointing your wand at me? I am a vampire as well as the Devil's daughter. You are just a wizard" sneered Nat.

Keanu just waved his wand and the two Slytherins vanished with the song I'm a gummy bear playing. Then Professor Padfoot walked in, holding a blank piece of parchment and a quill.

"Well done, Mr Thompson. You have shown that you are a true prankster. In fact, we, the maurders brotherhood, want you to join the eternal cause of pranking the school as well as the Slytherins. We are a secret brotherhood so hush hush" the professor whispered.
Harry Potter then removed his invisibility cloak and pointed his wand at the ceiling.

"AND SO ON THIS DAY THERE SHALL BE LIGHT!" yelled Harry.
Shortly, Professor Dumbledore had ordered several pizzas from a pizza place in Edinburgh which was close to the school.

The pizza guy arrived and the ghosts of Hogwarts greeted those pizza guy.
He screamed in fear and ran away.
He tried to tell his family about the ghosts but they sent him to a mental hospital where he met another pizza guy and a homeless man who kept muttering about evil cats coming to rescue him.

**********LINE BREAK***********

Meanwhile, Lord Voldemort was in Knockturn alley, buying a rocket that was magically modified to seek out a certain wizard by the use of the enemy wizard's blood. Lord Voldemort brought the rocket and got Peter Pettigrew to obtain some of Harry Potter's blood.
He added the sample of blood to the rocket and let it go.

However, he forgot that his body had Potter's blood running through it via the ritual to create his body.
The rocket turned towards Lord Voldemort and blew him up.
The rocket had a charm on it to repair it after an explosion and so, the homeless wizard reclaimed his rocket.

The wizard took his rocket back to Knockturn alley while Lord Voldemort was scattered on the field in pieces.
Later on, a group of muggles found his body pieces and became famous for their discovery of an actual alien (to the muggles at least) while the Dark Lord's body pieces was sent to a secret organisation.

(I hope you enjoy this chapter! Next chapter will have starry ghost cats and castles made from Pizzas! ^_^ Edited on the 03/12/14)