Shane was still half-asleep when he heard the sound of Petra waking in the nursery; he knew he must be a new daddy as he said to Alexis, 'Baby's awake, babe,' with his mouth still half-glued to his pillow. 'Your turn or mine?'

'Mine.'

'Okay.'

Shake sank back into sleep as he felt Alexis' weight shift off of the bed, heard her feet hit the floor. He was so proud of her, how she was such an amazing new mom already. The dedication they had for keeping their alternates schedule going was really helping keep them strong as a couple as well - he'd heard stories from Jeremy and Adam how they'd dealt with a lot of guilt when their waves had been new moms constantly up all night because they didn't want their men to feel obligated.

He lay there in bed, waiting to hear the sounds that always made him laugh, as there were always a few moments when Alexis forgot about the baby monitor. When he didn't hear the usual chatter, he felt something clutch in his belly. Alexis always talked to Petra, even if it was about how tired or unsexy she felt.

But not this morning. Worried, Shane slipped out of bed, tugging on his t-shirt as he headed for the nursery. He stopped dead in the doorway when he saw the scene - Alexis, his beautiful, capable strawberry, was standing still as a statue in front of the crib, like a woman in a fugue state. Her breathing was shallow and she was staring blankly at the crib where Petra was happily burbling away and grabbing her toes.

'Lex?' Shane said her name, and when she didn't respond, he felt something in his belly twist hard and sharp. 'Lex,' he repeated in a firmer tone; this time she turned to him like she was possessed, and Shane saw the faraway, terrified look in his eyes. 'Lex, what's wrong?'

'I can't do this, Shane. I can't...I can't...'

'Can't do what?'

'Be a mother.'

'Alexis.' Shane felt all the spit dry up in his mouth. 'How long has this been going on? How long have you felt like this without telling me?'

'I...I came in to change her and I looked at her and I froze,' she said lightly, 'I looked at her and I didn't see my baby, I didn't see my sweet little girl, I saw...rules and responsibilities and pitying looks from our family and our friends about how much of a screwup I am, and how I have all this pressure on me to make them proud and how I am completely incapable of doing it. I have no way to be a good mom the way I should be a good mom and I'm so disappointed in myself for putting you through all of this-'

'Alexis.' Shane doubted Alexis knew she'd begun to cry during her meltdown. He moved close to pull her in for a hug; pain was as real as a punch in the gut when she tried to pull away from him.

'Don't...don't touch me. I...' Alexis dragged her hands over her face. 'I'm a failure, Shane. Every last one of our friends knew exactly what to do, they never struggled, or felt inadequate or scared.'

'Do you recall what Meredeth went through, having surgery when she was pregnant with Max, or Lindsay feeling the exact same way after she found out she couldn't have more kids after Zane?'

'But they are smart and capable, and they never feel like this!'

Alexis' voice was raising to a shrill pitch that had Petra blinking in shock, and her own scared wails filled the nursery. Without thinking twice she reached into the crib to pick up the baby, which had Shane's worries temporarily subsiding; they re-emerged with a vengeance when Alexis passed Petra to him and she all but ran out of the nursery. A few moments later, Shane heard the bathroom door slam, the water begin to run and he murmured gently to Petra, 'Mumum's not feeling so hot, my precious gem. Her heart is so full of love for you that she is scared she might do the wrong thing. But we are going to help her.'

Petra calmed as Shane talked to her, looked at him with her big blue eyes and said 'Blb' as though she were asking a question to her papa.

'Of course she loves you, don't you ever doubt that.'

They walked down the hallway, relief sweet as honey when Shane tested the bathroom doorknob and found it unlocked. He opened it, found Alexis sitting on the closed toilet seat lid, eyes red and puffy.

'Someone wants to say hi.'

Alexis managed a smile before dissolving into sobs again. 'Shane, I'm so sorry, I love her so much but...I'm not a mom. I have a baby and I'm not a mom.'

'Alexis Harper Weaver, you are a great mother.'

Alexis closed her eyes, then suddenly found her arms filled with Petra's weight. She opened her eyes, looked down at her daughter's beautiful little face, stroked her cheek. 'You are so perfect, my precious gem,' she murmured, then cuddled her close. 'You...you deserve the best.'

'She has the best, Lex.'

'I'm so scared, Shane,' Alexis looked at him. 'Something isn't right in here.'

Shane nodded when she tapped her fingertip to her temple. 'That's okay.'

'No it's not-'

'Yes it is. I'll be right back.'

Shane gave both his girls a kiss, then raced into the bedroom. Without thinking twice, he dialed the one person he knew would be able to help him right now.

'Come on, come on, come on,' he muttered as the phone rang; after what seemed an eternity, the line connected.

'Shane, what's wrong, are you okay?'

'Lanie, it's Alexis. She needs to talk to you, like now.'

'What's wrong?'

'I'm pretty sure she has post-partum depression.'