'Petra, what am I going to do?'

Still sitting on the closed toilet seat lid, Alexis gently rocked back and forth with Petra against her shoulders, tapping the baby soothingly between her tiny little shoulder blades. Petra was sucking on her little fingers; without thinking twice Alexis stood up with her daughter and headed for the nursery. She'd been so caught up in her own issues - something she couldn't let happen anymore - that she hadn't even changed Petra's night-time nappie for a fresh morning one.

'We won't let that happen again, will we,' she said gently, flashes of her parents, her friends looking at her with their stupid barely-hidden smiles, as they tilted their heads to the side and gave her the 'oh honey' expression, as in 'oh honey, you're just too damn dumb to know any better about parenting, aren't you'. Alexis had seen that look their far too often lately, and it was really making her angry. She didn't need them telling her how much she was screwing up already, she was aware of that enough.

Still, she went through the motions of tickling Petra's tummy and toes, making her baby laugh which nearly had Alexis' tears starting up once more - the sound was something so angelic it seemed impossible for bad things to happen when that noise was dancing in the air. By the time Petra was freshly changed, she was ready for a snack so they headed for the comfy overstuffed armchair in the nursery for a little drink.

It was how Shane found his favourite redheads when he returned from his call, which told him one very important thing - if Alexis was still able to bond with her, the PPD was probably not going to need treatment from medication. 'Lex?'

Alexis glanced up at him with a soft smile, Petra making little slurpy noises as she drank her milk. 'Hey.'

'I called Lanie,' Shane started, then shut up when he saw Alexis' face go white once again.

'You did what?'

'I called Lanie, because she has been through post-partum depression.'

The words were out now, and as Shane expected Alexis looked at him like his forehead had suddenly grown its own eyes. 'That's preposterous. I'm a psychiatrist, I know what depression looks like.'

'You also know as a physician the dangers of self-diagnosis.'

'I'm not going to say I'm fine, because I'm not,' Alexis pointed out, pausing a moment to switch Petra to her other breast. 'But I don't have depression.'

'Alexis, I don't want to fight with you.' Shane took a bracing breath, ready to drop the second bomb. 'Lanie is on her way over to talk to you.'

If looks could kill, he knew he'd be six feet under in a nanosecond from the burning glare Alexis shot at him. 'You can stare me down all you like, but you are going to talk to a trusted friend about this because I don't want you hurting.'

She wanted to scream and shout, and rant and rave at him, but Alexis saw no point - it would get out sooner or later given that Lanie was her mother's best friend. Hell they were probably bonding over how badly she was fucking up her child's life already. 'Fine,' she said in weary resignation. 'No point in telling her to go home if she's already used the subway fare.'

'What can I do right now to help,' Shane asked, feeling more than a little helpless, even worse than when Alexis had been in labour and the best strategy he had was holding her hand and rubbing her back.

'Put on some coffee, I guess? What do you serve someone coming to investigate your parenting skills?'

Shane let that one go, as he heard the buzz for the door downstairs; in five minutes Lanie was in the apartment, giving him python-esque hugs as worry coated her face.

'Shane, thank God you called,' she said quietly, glancing toward the nursery doors. 'On a scale of one to ten how pissed is she with you?'

'Those dials go to eleven,' he replied drily, intending to follow her over, but she pressed her fingertip into his chest.

'Nuh-uh, hot stuff. You're the man, you sit down over there,' Lanie told him, pointing at the couch. 'This is a girl-on-girl thing. What Alexis needs right now is to talk to someone who's been there before she blows up entirely. Then you can be her superhero.'

Shane lifted his palms in acquiescence, took his seat; Lanie nodded her approval then quietly walked over to the nursery, poked her head in the propped-open door. 'Hey there sweetie.'

'Hey Lanie.' Alexis put on her brightest smile as she gently patted Petra's back to burp her. 'I'm so sorry Shane called you, it's-'

'Don't you fucking dare, lady,' Lanie told her vehemently. 'I am not buying that routine for a second. Now, you are going to finish up with little miss here, then you are going to pu your hubby in charge of your child and you are going to talk to me.'

'Lanie, I'm not depressed,' Alexis insisted. 'I'm tired and lethargic and feeling extremely hormonal because I just had a baby. Those are perfectly common symptoms of new parenthood, right?'

'They are, but there's more to postpartum depression than just those symptoms.'

'Lanie-'

'Are you feeling guilty, and stressed?'

'Sure but-'

'Feeling inadequate, like you're the worst mother in the history of the world and afraid to be around your friends and family because we're judging how awful your parenting skills are and that we are gossiping about your ineffectiveness?'

As Alexis' eyes began to fill, Lanie knew she'd struck home very hard; with lightning quick reflexes she nipped the freshly burped Petra from her mother's hands and laid her in the crib. It wasn't a moment too soon, for once Lanie had done so, Alexis had buried her facei n her hands and was sobbing uncontrollably.