Hey guys, so still trying to get back into the swing of writing, and honestly that's not going so well. But I got a chapter done, so that's something, right?

Hope you enjoy.

"So, tell me what happened," Josh said. He needed to hear it. He honestly couldn't go to bed without knowing. He would lay awake all night if he didn't. Thinking about why it had taken her so long to come find him and things like that. He would come out in the morning looking worse for wear. And he thought Tilly deserved better than a half zombified Josh on her birthday.

"Okay, well, where do I even begin?" Donna said thinking about how her life was over five years ago.

Donna had been back in Madison for two almost three weeks. She thought the queasiness was due to the move and having to settle back in, but it wasn't going away. So, when she realised she was late, she took a test.

It was a long three minutes.

Excruciatingly long.

So very long.

And then the strip turned pink.

It had to be David's. It had to be. Statistically, anyway. There was no other possibility. Well there was, but Donna didn't want to think about that. The baby was David's. It just had to be.

And that's what she started to believe.

David being the father meant nothing had to change, that moving back to Madison wasn't the worst decision she could have made and that she hadn't given up everything she had always wanted when she left Josh.

It was easier to deal with. This way she wasn't the girl who cheated on her fiancé or was having another man's baby. This way was the cookie cutter way her life looked when she was growing up and thinking about her future. Though the baby was meant to come after the wedding. So, it was David's, it had to be.

And that's what she believed. Or really what she forced herself to believe. For months she focussed on other things in order not to think about what could have been. She threw herself into her schoolwork, taking her mother to chemotherapy, working part time and preparing for the baby. And it worked. Until it didn't.

"What are you doing?" Donna asked as she walked into her bedroom and saw David packing a suitcase.

"Leaving," he said very matter of fact, as he clipped his bag shut.

"For how long?" Donna asked, though as she looked into the closet, she could tell it wasn't for the length of a business trip.

"Forever," he answered, and Donna's heart dropped.

"Why? What do you mean?" Donna said, taking a seat on the bed. She was over six months pregnant, there was no way she could take this news while standing up.

"I've asked for a transfer, it's finally been granted," he replied.

"You've been planning this?" She asked confused.

"I don't want kids."

"Excuse me?"

"Actually, I don't want another man's kids," he said looking squarely at Donna. "I know you cheated on me. With Josh, I'm guessing," he continued.

It was as if Donna's world was crashing down around her. "How-" She began.

"How long have I known?" he finished guessing what she was going to ask. "Since you told me you were pregnant," he answered, he could tell that had confused her more, so he continued. "I'm infertile, I can't have kids. It was kind of a giveaway," he explained.

"I don't-"

"Look, I have a plane to catch, I wasn't expecting you back so early, I wrote you a letter explaining everything," David said as he picked up his bag. "Sorry, this couldn't work out," he said as he kissed Donna on the cheek and left.

Donna sat in a near catatonic state. She couldn't believe it. It seemed impossible. Her whole world was falling apart. She tried to keep her breathing under control, but that was easier said then done.

She looked to the nightstand, and just like David had said there was the letter.

It really did explain everything.

He had tried to move past the betrayal, but that wasn't possible. He might have stayed if it was a boy, but like he said he never really wanted kids. He had even told her once while they were dating that he was unable to procreate, but she must have been distracted with something at work and forgotten. He'd asked for a transfer after the sixteen-week ultrasound, it had taken some time to go through. And that he didn't want an explanation for Josh, he could always see it, he wasn't blind, even if they were, or really weren't anymore.

It was a few days after when she realised what it really meant. Josh was the father of her baby, but she hadn't spoken to him in over six months. If it had been a month then maybe it would have been easier to contact him. But six months. He wouldn't have understood.

And she wasn't really sure she wanted to talk to him just yet. The way they had ended things left a lot to be desired. He was so angry. It had scared her. And he made it clear. He didn't want to see or hear from her.

She again threw herself into anything that would keep her distracted. If she never gave herself a break, then she wouldn't think about it. And there was a lot to do before the baby was there. She had papers to finish, and stuff to buy. There began to be very little time to think about what she didn't want to think about. So, she thought it was working.

"Where's David? Your father and I haven't seen him recently," Donna's mom asked as she was receiving her chemo.

Donna's eyes near popped out of her head, as she continued reading the magazine she had in her hands. She had been able to skate over this issue with her parents in recent weeks, always able to move the topic of conversation on to something else. But maybe it was time to come clean. But this was also not the time to upset her mother.

"He, uh- he left me," Donna said in a low voice. She was ashamed, and humiliated, and she didn't think her mother would understand if she knew the whole truth.

"You're seven months pregnant, what do you mean he left?"

Donna thought about what would be the easiest for her mother to take. Plus, she also didn't want to disappoint her mother, and if she knew the truth, she would definitely be disappointed in her. But was it fair to paint David in such a harsh light, when he really didn't do anything wrong?

"I don't want to talk about it," she said putting the magazine down and starting to fuss over her mother. "How are you feeling, can I get you something to drink?"

"I'm fine," she replied, as Donna fixed the pillow behind her mother's back. "Donna tell me what's going on," she pushed.

She hadn't told anyone the truth yet, she hadn't really let it sink in for herself yet, either. But she knew she had to tell her mother something. All she knew was she, Donna, wasn't ready for it to come out. She wasn't ready to deal with it. Her way had been working.

She turned away from her mother, and everything came rushing back. Allowing herself to stop and think about what was really going on, sent her in to a stress filled panic attack.

"Donna?"

But Donna couldn't say anything, and not wanting to be in front of anyone for her breakdown, she left the room as fast as possible.

She made it half way down the hallway before the pain set in.

Donna crouched to the floor, using the wall for support. This was pain she had never felt before. It shot through her stomach, immobilizing her as it did.

Knowing she needed to find help, she tried to stand, but the ache was constant. Soon she saw the puddle that was forming between her legs.

A nurse came passed, as Donna was trying to stand again. And it wasn't long before Donna was in a hospital bed of her own.

The doctors did everything they could to stop the labour, but hours later, Donna wasn't so much holding a baby in her arms but watching it be rushed away to the NICU.

"The doctors said I'd been pushing myself too hard. That with the speed I was going at they were surprised it hadn't happened earlier," Donna explained. Josh nodding along from the chair next to her.

He shouldn't have, but he blamed himself. If he hadn't told Donna to leave then maybe she wouldn't have. If he hadn't been so adamant, then maybe she wouldn't have believed him. If he hadn't used that tone, maybe she wouldn't have been scared of the truth. And maybe if he had gone after her he would have found all this out sooner.

"You never were one to slow down," Josh replied, not really knowing what to say, but wanting to fill the silence.

"But I should have. I'd read countless baby books. I knew everything I needed to do. I knew I was meant to avoid stress, take a break, but I couldn't. I was selfish. And I let her down because of it," Donna said, as more tears fell from her eyes. The salty droplets seemed to be repeating occurrence tonight. "She almost died, because I couldn't admit to myself that I screwed up," she continued. She had beat herself up because of it countless times over the years. Her first act of motherhood and it turned out to be a disaster.

Ashamed she was crying she rested her head in her hands so not to be seen. Falling into old ways, Josh started rubbing circles on Donna's back, letting her know it was okay to cry, and that he was here for her.

Josh, for Donna's liking, was being far too kind and understanding. She had expected screaming and fighting. It was why she had been so afraid to tell him. Why it had taken so long. And here he was comforting her as if she was the one to just find out this life altering news.

"You can't do this," Donna said sitting back up straight. She was glad she had taken her makeup off for the night, because she was sure there would have been mascara streaks all the way down her cheeks by now.

"Do what?" Josh asked, his hand still on her back.

"Be so kind and understanding. I lied to you, I betrayed you. You should be throwing plates or glasses around," Donna replied as she got her breathing under control. Josh wondered if this was how other people in Donna's past had demonstrated their anger to her.

"When was the last time you saw me throw something harder than a snowball around?" Josh asked, forcing Donna to smile, which again made her cry. It was her favourite memory of Josh and she was glad he remembered it as well. "What do you want from me, Donna?" Josh asked. He just wanted her to stop crying. It hurt him to see her this upset. Especially when he was trying to make her laugh. "I can yell, do you want me to yell?"

"You should be mad," she replied.

"I'm a little tired, can I be mad tomorrow?" Josh asked. He'd always been able to compartmentalize quickly. And he'd learned many a time that it was easier to think first then act. And usually after the initial shock was over, he was able to keep a level head and do what was best for the people around him.

"That seems fair," Donna answered.

Though right now he didn't want to be mad, and he couldn't see that changing between now and tomorrow night. He could tell Donna had beat herself up enough for both of them. And he knew it was going to be hard enough adjusting to the changes that came with fatherhood without holding animosity towards Donna.

Looking at the time on the microwave, Josh was shocked to see just how late it had gotten. Of course, they hadn't started talking until after midnight, but still, it was about time for bed.

"I think this is as good a place as any to call it a night, don't you think?" Josh said.

"Yeah," Donna agreed, and she watched Josh get up from his chair.

"Night," Josh said kissing Donna on the cheek. It wasn't a 'throw me against the wall in the heat of passion' type of kiss, but more of a 'I'll be in your life forever', one.

"Yeah, night," Donna replied as she watched Josh leave.

"Can I just ask you one more thing," Josh said stopping half way out the room and turning back.

"Of course," Donna replied almost instantly. She owed him at least that.

"What does it say on her birth certificate?" He asked. He assumed that the space after 'father' would have been left blank but he hoped like hell it wasn't.

"You're Tilly's father, Josh, her birth certificate reflects that," Donna said, completely understanding what he was asking. She had agonised for quite some time whether she should fill in that particular detail. But it the end it wasn't a hard decision to make.

"Good," he smiled and continued on his way.

Well it was done. Certainly not how Donna had expected telling him, but when did anything in her life go as expected.

Okay, I'm not exactly sure I'm happy with how this chapter turned out, it wasnt how I had been picturing it, but it's as good as it's gonna get.

But, what do you think of Josh's reaction? Cause before I even started writing last chapter I always pictured he'd be so angry and there would be a huge fight, but as I was writing it, I don't know, it just didnt feel right.

Anyway,

Please Review :D