Title: Demonic Wings

Author: Karina

Rating: PG

Pairing: Wu Fei + Duo

Notes: Challenge 200. Baby Series 4 #58. Takes place at the same time as Clipped Wings

Spoilers: None

Warnings: Extended Length

Many thanks to ShenLong Deb for her work betaing this set of fics.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the Characters from the series but the baby is mine.

Title: Demonic Wings

'There is nothing to say that Winner is right. He broke the taboo. He succeeded, so why can I not enjoy the love I desire? He may not be royalty, but he is in a prominent public position and he is with Barton. Publicly. Openly. Why should this be different? Just because I am The Chang does not make me an unfeeling automaton. I have feelings, needs... The desire to love and be loved. I am human.'

He could see Milliardo through the open doors of the reception room, on the balcony leaning casually against the icy cold stone, peering out at the darkened grounds. He looked to be a million miles away from the cold evening in Sanc. And within the warmth of the room he could see Duo, close to him, so close it would not take much of a stretch to touch him if he reached out. Leaning casually against the wall, eyes narrowed, but he too looked to be somewhere else far away... or deep within himself.

He could only wonder what the Elder and Milliardo had been discussing for so long. The King had finally walked away and the Elder was left looking anything but settled; an accomplishment on Milliardo's part as he had yet to really make the Elder sit up and take notice. The man had largely seemed emotionless during their dealings with each other.

Emotionless and always disapproving.

It was too much for him to process and that was bad. Truly bad. It simply would not do, not if he was to succeed as The Chang. He would need to deal with complex affairs as time wore on, both as The Chang and as a Duke of Sanc. He was Liaison to the King, a direct aide. An important position and he had been filling that post well. He did not intend to give it up, but... Today he was full of doubts. Could he honestly expect to stretch himself so far and still succeed?

It would get better. That was what he had to tell himself. Things would get better. That was what he had to believe.

He was not consigning himself to the rigid strictures of his ancestors. He was not reforming that traditional society. He was not going to be locked down to being an isolated ruler in name only, bound to the audience of his advisors, his only link with the real world. He was going to shape himself into a new kind of ruler for the clan.

It would take time, he knew that. And it would be a lonely and potentially thankless task, but it was a path he was determined to take. He would do no less for his people than Milliardo was doing for his own. He would set it all into place and then, when it was done, when the world was stable, he would once again have the room to stretch his wings and live a little for himself.

He wanted to love. He wanted to live, to be selfish occasionally and to indulge himself. To think of himself instead of the many lives that were tied to his.

Ancestors, Duo was the only one of them who had the space to fly! He was so jealous of his friend's freedom. Envious. New and frightening emotions, but he would be honest with himself. Dare he think... Did he have the right to hold on to what was shaping between them? He had believed, at least for a little while, that they could live and love, and incorporate Milliardo into that relationship.

Impossible. The word whispered insidiously in the dark recesses of his mind. It was asking too much. Winner was right, and he had known it all along. His accepting the role of Chang of Chang only compounded the problems, making it impossible to achieve the goal he desired the most.

'Hopeless. Utterly hopeless.'

Duo sidled up beside him, blue eyes suddenly blazing with violet. He looked dangerous, deadly, and he moved like a stalking cat.

"Don't even think it, Chang. Fuck the world. We make it work."

It had to be his imagination. There could be no shadow of demonic wings flickering as Duo stalked off. Wings could not twitch giving the impression that Duo had given him the finger.

It was already driving him to the brink of insanity.

End

Karina Robertson 2012