Disclaimer: I do not own Persona 3—or any version of the Persona series, really. I just own this rather shameless piece of work.
Other Notes: I would just like to take the time to tell my readers how much I appreciate them, with shout-outs to those who've taken the time to review—even just once. Because I am right there with all the readers who often feel awkward reviewing fics. So to those of you who press that little submit button, here's to you for being made of braver stuff than I.
On that note, I got a message a little while ago regarding some sort of group project thing about tips other writers would give to those starting out or in need of help. While flattered that my writing is apparently nice enough to warrant that request, I was more caught on the topic of others being discouraged from writing because they feel that their grammar or general grasp on the English language is lacking (whether native speakers or not). To them and to any of you reading who want to write but share similar concerns, I say that it's like… drawing. You don't start out with gorgeous paintings with appropriate lighting, color balance, anatomy, and whatnot. You start small. And you keep drawing. It's the same with writing. You go in with an idea and write. And you don't stop because the only way to get better is to keep writing. Don't think about writing a certain length, or how many readers you want or reviews you'll get. If you do that, you'll never be happy because you'll be too busy trying to write the perfect piece and burn yourself out. Write about something as mundane as a day in the life of a snail or a swashbuckling adventure on the Caribbean—just so long as you're writing. Even if it makes you cringe not even an hour after you write it, pat yourself on the back because you're still writing and thus improving little by little. And that's the best thing you can do for yourself.
And now that that little piece of text is over with, let's stop padding this chapter and get right to it, yeah? This will likely feel rather filler-y and for that I apologize, but just keep in mind that bits and pieces may prove important later on!
Symbiosis
Chapter Thirty-One
Falling back into step with the world around him felt like it should have been harder, but Minato managed to fall into some form of normalcy with little fanfare. He supposed he had his friends to thank. They kept their distance while he was busy having a meltdown, but not to the point of walking eggshells around him. It made it easier to transition back into routine without the need for awkward apologies and assurances.
That was not to say that he entirely ignored their careful concern. It was just that instead of addressing it verbally, he chose to do it with action.
"I think you skipped a step there," Tamamo said wryly as Minato stepped through the threshold and into Tartarus's lobby.
I always avoid Tartarus when I'm not feeling well or they aren't, Minato reasoned back. This is the best way I can show them that I'm feeling better.
His Other made a dubious sound but otherwise didn't contradict him, instead settling back to watch and likely begin her own preparations for battle (whatever they were).
Minato caught Fuuka's eye as the other members of SEES set up shop. Her gaze was measured and she didn't shrink back when he looked at her fully like he thought she would. Instead, she gave a gentle smile. "Let's do our best, Minato-kun."
I'm glad you're all right, he translated. Dipping his head in a nod, he replied, "Please take care of me. As always."
Fuuka chuckled and nodded in return before going off to speak with Yukari, who stood off to the side prepping her bow. Junpei wandered over not a few moments later, engaging the girls in conversation while they waited.
"Any plans for today?" came Akihiko's voice from behind. "Or is this just the usual session?"
The usual session being, if Minato was right, running through previous floors and simply eliminating what Shadows they came across. There were some days when he led them through with purpose, such as reaching the barrier to the next block or fulfilling Elizabeth's requests (not that the rest of SEES knew), but others were spent training. The next full moon wasn't for a while yet, but they all had to keep on their toes.
There was no telling if another Shadow would slip from the nest, after all. Like the one that was found near the shrine.
"The usual," Minato replied. "We'll start off slow to warm up and get to higher floors when we're ready."
The boxer gave a hum of acquiescence before walking off to where Mitsuru was, likely relaying his words.
Minato saw the redhead nod and continue speaking in hushed tones with her fellow senior. He frowned at the sight, eyes trailing back to the group in his own class year before settling on the wide divide that separated them. It wasn't the first time he'd seen it happen—it'd been that way since day one, really, but it seemed even more blatant than before.
Is this going to be a problem? he wondered.
"…not so much a problem," Tamamo said. "The SEES I remember has always been rather… professional. You all weren't so much friends as you were, ah, colleagues? Coworkers? Something like that. It kind of got better later, but it always felt like a sort of distant relationship to me."
I'm surprised you don't have a solution in mind for this, he said half-jokingly.
"Oh, um. No, not really. Would you like me to? I might be able to think of something, but—"
No, it's fine, he replied, smothering a laugh. As much as it bothers me, I can tell it doesn't take as much priority as some of the… other cases. And if it works itself out originally, then it should work itself out again somehow, right?
"I guess…" was his Other's reply. And he could tell by the tone she said it in that she was thinking about it anyway.
With an amused, resigned sigh, he left her to it and went to the Velvet Room to finish his own preparations before gathering his team for the night.
"Whoa," Fuuka heard Junpei say through her connection with Lucia. His voice was too low to be shouting across the battlefield and he definitely wasn't using the communicators provided to the rest of SEES when he continued, "That was new. Hey, Yuka-tan, does he—" there was a pause and a grunt "—does he seem different to you?"
"Different how?" Yukari asked, sounding somewhat breathless. There was the sound of an arrow being released, followed by the distant sound of Shadow flesh being struck.
"I dunno. Just—different," Junpei said and Fuuka suppressed a smile because that was a very Junpei-like answer, as she'd come to observe. When he didn't want to be direct, or didn't know how to without fumbling, he gave such understatements that said everything and nothing.
Another pause. Then, "Actually, yeah, I think I get what you mean. He is… different. Somehow."
He was, Fuuka agreed. There was a different sense of purpose in his steps. Even if this nightly session was just a routine run through Tartarus, the way their leader held himself was different. It made him almost intimidating to look at, and yet enthralling. Like a soldier walking off to war.
Well, they were all soldiers, she supposed. But the way Minato looked now seemed to have the bearing of one, only wearing the cloak of a normal high school student when he had to.
"Is this your doing?" Fuuka sent out to the familiar extra presence, tagging alongside Minato's far up in the tower's corridors.
It took a moment, as she was likely as engaged in the battle as he was, before Tamamo replied, "Yes and no. I told him something life-changing, but the way he changed was all up to him."
It said very little about what went on through those worrying days when the boy felt like little more than a husk, but Fuuka felt something relax in her regardless. Then, Lucia's senses caught the last Shadow in their vicinity being slain and she spoke up, smiling, "No Shadows detected. The battle's over."
"So when is the supposed destined day?" Minato asked that night, left too awake even after the run through Tartarus. He was cautious about saying too much, wondering what Pharos would take from anything they said to one another if he was listening in. The boy/Shadow had never seemed to connect directly to his mind, feeling what he felt and hearing his thoughts like Tamamo did, so he was hesitant about being too direct.
"If things go the exact same way, you're looking at January 31st," Tamamo replied. She was quiet as he turned on the light and rolled out of bed to retrieve his notebook, marking the date down in the back before padding over to his calendar to add the full moon dates in between. "…Do you have a list of the first twelve Arcanas?"
Minato flipped through the pages to present the list he'd made when researching months before. It had all of the Major Arcana listed, but a line had been drawn beneath the Hanged Man, with each Arcana Shadow they fought resulting in their respective name to be scratched out of the list. The next few, he saw, were the Hermit, Fortune, Strength, and the Hanged Man itself.
"Hermit should be fought alone for the next full moon," Tamamo informed him, voice thoughtful. "Some electric thing. It'll be located beneath the club in the mall, if I remember correctly."
He dutifully wrote that down by its respective date, noting that he would have to keep an eye on what notebook he lent out to prevent any unwanted questions from popping up. Maybe keep a note on his laptop instead? Or his cellphone?
"Technology is too easily accessed, you'd be better off just getting a smaller notebook to keep on your person or making a cipher," his Other said dismissively in response to his silent brainstorming. "I know a relatively easy one that you can probably use, but it uses English letters. We'll go over that later. October 4th should be the battle of Fortune and Strength."
Humming, Minato added that down.
"That's also the date that Shinjiro Aragaki is meant to die."
He coughed. "R—Really?"
"Yes," Tamamo replied solemnly. "That's the anniversary of Ken's mother's death. Poetic, no?"
"Not really," Minato said, shifting uncomfortably. After having had that small chat with the senior, learning his opinion that gave Minato the strength to form his own, he'd formed a high amount of respect for him. Especially considering the older teen had gone out of his way to make sure Minato ate, even when he had no obligation to do so other than formerly belonging to the little club that Minato now led. While he was aware, intellectually, that Tamamo told him Shinjiro was forging a path to his own death in search of redemption, hearing it spoken so straightforwardly was… unsettling.
"Yeah, I didn't really think so either when I saw it happen. Hence why I really want to do something about Ken Amada… I've got an idea in mind, but I'll run that by you a little later when I have the execution more ironed out."
"Plans for the operations, plans for the Fall, plans for Ken and Senpai…" he mused wryly. "Trying to make plans for everything, huh?"
"I usually do even if I don't always share them. Have I ever told you that I was a Slytherin?"
Minato blinked at the non sequitur. "From that story about the boy… 'Harī'?"
"Harry Potter," Tamamo supplied, sounding out the foreign name with ease. "But yes. Sorted with the 'official quiz' and everything. I'm a snake and this type of thing is generally in my nature. Anyway, I don't remember where the confrontation with Strength and Fortune happen. Might be the station again, but the memory is hazy. The Hanged Man, however, is at the Moonlight Bridge on November 3rd."
Nonplussed, Minato added the information to the page, eyes scanning the recent entries before looking over the dates left over before January 31st. There were two: December 2nd and December 31st. Minato tapped at the dates with the capped side of his pen, thoughtful. "There are two full moons in December…?"
"It happens. It's called a 'blue moon', if I recall correctly. Happens once every… two or three years? I'm not sure. I just know it since I looked up the idiom 'once in a blue moon'. The Internet is a useful thing, but not always the most accurate."
"True enough," he agreed. "Does anything happen on these dates?"
His Other hummed. "Nothing on the 2nd as far as I know. All I can remember is that those last two months are spent climbing Tartarus in preparation of reaching the uppermost block to confront Nyx Avatar at the appointed time."
Minato nodded, ignoring the spike of trepidation in his chest at the reminder.
"I'm working on that, too," Tamamo said absently but not unkindly, likely in response to what he tried to leave unsaid. "I managed to contact Elizabeth for a short time… It's a bit difficult for me to connect since I'm not you, but we can… exchange notes, you could say." She huffed. "I have to get back to her later, though. The Velvet Room is frustrating because the residents are helpful to you on your Journey, but they won't necessarily go out of their way to do something while you're on it. So they don't interfere with your decisions and the fate you weave for yourself."
"True neutrals, then," he concluded.
"I could probably make an argument for them being more of a Lawful type, but yeah, more or less."
"Anything I should know for the upcoming operation, then?" he asked instead of inquiring about that little project. While it was relieving in some respects, there was a part of him that didn't want to know too much for fear of getting his hopes up.
"…Junpei might get a girl."
If he had been drinking something, he would have done a spit-take. As insulting as it was on Junpei's behalf. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with the other guy. He was just so girl-crazy at times when he wasn't focused on the Dark Hour that the idea of it was… somewhat hard to imagine.
Amused, Tamamo added, "I'll do you one better: she's the girl of Strega."
He choked.
His Other didn't say anything, but she was clearly entertained as she told him what she recalled of the encounter. A simple tale of boy meets girl, where the boy is amiable and the girl is acidic, and from the point of view of an outsider it could be the start of a typical love story. Even the matter that they were on two opposing sides would not detract from the idea. Star-crossed love was always popular.
The story gave him a very Romeo and Juliet-esque vibe as it continued on. Because most things related to the Dark Hour tended to end, if not tragically, in a very bittersweet manner. His life, for instance.
"You have a plan for that, too, don't you," he said when Tamamo ended the story with the Strega girl's, Chidori's, death and Junpei's resolution. He saw it coming, called it, but damn. Poor Junpei.
"Somewhat," Tamamo admitted. "It's shaky, though, because some things regarding Junpei have already changed. So who can tell if his encounter with her now will go the same?"
"But you'll still try."
"Yes." It was said without hesitation. "Like I said, I've been saying a lot but not doing enough to back it up. I'm hoping to try to change that… I want to let you guys reach a happier ending. Somehow."
"Don't burn yourself out," Minato warned, frowning.
She chuckled. "I won't. You're the natural Agi-user. I'm Zio affinity. Electricity. Lightning. I'm just going to do what I'm meant to."
"Which is…?"
Her reply was cheerful. "I'm going to strike a path ahead so that your flame can burn for as long and brilliantly as possible."
It scared him how much that sounded like a promise.
Long after Minato finally turned in, Tamamo stood, leaning against a tree, before the door to the Velvet Room. Said door was fused to the trunk of another tree (reminding her eerily of the holiday realm trees à la The Nightmare Before Christmas; not that she was complaining since she loved that movie), currently pulled open as she stared into the space beyond.
Elizabeth stared back, yellow eyes glimmering.
"So you think it could work?" Tamamo asked. She didn't bother to raise her voice or move closer. Even with the abyss that stretched between Minato's mind and the Velvet Room on the other side, preventing either from crossing over, they could hear one another just fine.
"It has potential," the Velvet Room attendant replied, voice so smooth it was almost a purr. "As my master and I have stated, you are both connected in ways that even we did not expect. By now, either of you should have fully integrated with the other or cast the other out entirely… yet you remain intertwined—together, but individual nonetheless."
Tamamo snorted. "We sound like some sort of soul paradox."
"It is quite vexing to try to understand," Elizabeth agreed. Her lips quirked. "But you must be relieved, as it is this strange relationship you both share that has allowed you to come up with this… solution."
"Possible solution," Tamamo corrected with a sigh. Slowly, she slid down until she was sitting, absently pulling her hair out from where it was caught between her back and the tree trunk. "Like you said, it has potential. There are still details I need to iron out before it can even be attempted… Even then, there's no way to actually do a trial run for it."
Elizabeth hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. She, too, lowered herself until she was sitting languidly, though she was right at the edge of the Velvet Room's door, one leg dangling over the abyss.
Tamamo paused. "…Do you think he'll hate me for it? I mean… it'll be painful."
"Should it work, it is not as though he will be the only one to give something," Elizabeth pointed out. "But your worries are understandable. You will be asking him to give up half of his soul. If it succeeds and all goes well, it will be a pain deeper than losing even one of his limbs, but just as permanent. You will condemn him to a half-life. One that he can gradually heal through, but never fully."
"But he'll be alive."
"Indeed."
"If it works, anyway."
"Of course."
There was a short, contemplative silence as Tamamo weighed their exchange. As much as she didn't like it, she knew that Elizabeth raised a fair point. If the plan worked, Minato wouldn't have to give up his life, but it would rip away an intrinsic part of him. The procedure would undoubtedly leave him wounded. And the scar that would be left over would likely always be raw. Sensitive.
A pain that he would have to live with forever.
Would he want to live if it meant dealing with that pain for the rest of his life? Or would it be kinder to just let him die there, to serve as the Great Seal, as he was meant to?
Tamamo scowled at the fabric of her Gekkoukan High skirt, bunching the hem up in her hands.
No. She wouldn't let him die. Even if he came to hate her for it, for that pain, she would not let him die.
"He'll just have to learn to live with it," she said decisively. Stubbornly. "Time heals, especially with good company. And he'll have plenty of that after." She laughed. "Come hell or Nyx Avatar, I will always be with him, after all."
Elizabeth smiled, and though it was still not quite human, the sight was much warmer than any Tamamo had seen from her before.
"Is it just me or are there suspiciously few Apathy Syndrome victims right now?" Yukari asked as the group of four teens wandered through the Paulownia Mall.
The other three stared at her before exchanging a round of looks. Fuuka's eyes darted upwards as she murmured numbers under her breath. The boys waited until the teal-haired girl gasped. "T—That's right. This is the usual time that Apathy Syndrome starts to show fully…"
Minato brought up the date in his head. It wasn't hard since he'd taken to keeping it in mind ever since keeping track of the lunar cycle became relevant. "August 22nd. The next full moon is on September 5th…"
"That's about… two weeks?" Yukari guessed. She sighed. "Man, it's harder to keep track of the days while we're on break for some reason…"
"Yeah. It's almost like I expect all that crap to be put on hold," Junpei agreed. "I mean it's nice that it won't happen 'til we're back in school, but…"
"It's just another thing to worry about," Fuuka finished for him.
There was a round of nods and the little group drifted off into silence, each stewing in their own thoughts. It was only when several minutes passed by with no signs of it stopping that Yukari forcefully clapped her hands together, abruptly bringing them all out of their reveries.
"Ookay, enough brooding. Minato-kun does enough of that for all of us!"
"Hey," Minato protested, only slightly joking as Fuuka and Junpei laughed.
"We're here to hang out and have fun! Unwind! We can leave worrying about that stuff for later since we already know when it's going to come up." It said a lot about Yukari that she could say such things now when she had been the worst of them early on. Human adaptability, indeed. "Right now, we're just going to be teenagers in a mall. Now come on! Fuuka, I see a nice store we can look through. Follow me!"
"I thought Minato was the leader," Junpei snarked.
Fuuka giggled from her place ahead of them, trying to keep up with Yukari who looked determined to be a normal teenager or die trying. "I guess this is a place where Yukari-chan has more experience to lead us in."
"That's fine with me," Minato said. "I'd probably only get us lost."
With another laugh, the teal-haired girl picked up her pace to follow Yukari into the store while the boys slowed down behind them, content to wait outside while they browsed. Junpei took a spot by the railing, leaning casually against it while Minato simply sat down on the floor.
And though a part of him still focused on how much time he had left and how this may be the last time, he found he could more easily shove those thoughts and feelings down. Shove them down and turn to what he'd tentatively decided for himself, to live and do his best for the sake of himself and others and the future. Because even if he wasn't there to enjoy it with them, just knowing that he'd contributed to a future they could share gave him some measure of peace.
"It's so weird, isn't it?" Junpei spoke up.
Minato lifted his head slightly to glance up at him. The other boy wasn't looking at him, instead staring down at the lower level of the mall. But even with such little context, he felt he knew what he was talking about. "…Yeah. It is."
"It's like I said earlier: with everything like this in the day, it's hard to think that something like the Dark Hour exists," the capped teen admitted quietly. He gave a bitter chuckle. "What's worse is that nobody will ever realize it, y'know? We're practically superheroes fighting evil every night… and nobody will ever know."
"Sometimes the greatest tales are the ones never told," Tamamo agreed, "and they are all the greater for it."
Minato took in both of their words. He found he agreed with both of them. And yet… "But we'll know."
There was a long pause after his simple answer, and he could practically feel Junpei turning his words over in his head. Just as Tamamo was doing.
"Regular partners against crime," Junpei said, echoing the words he'd said months ago. It was strange to hear him sound so serious, but Minato couldn't help but feel honored to see this other side to his friend. "All of us, taking on a whole other world… Yeah." And then he laughed, the sound lighter. "A group of heroes fight against the forces of evil in the darkest hour! Headed by their sleepy-headed captain—"
"Hey." What was with the comments about him that day?
"—and his dashing right-hand man! With otherworldly power, our heroes face terrifying monsters and protect the world, one night at a time!"
Minato snorted, unable to stop the grin from tugging at his lips. "Have you ever thought of becoming a voice actor or something? You sound like one of those anime announcers."
"Actually yeah, I have. Though I was thinking more for video games, y'know, that would be sweet, but I liked baseball too much to go to some voice acting school and my old man's, well…"
"It's good to have options. I wanted to be a detective for a bit when I was a kid."
As Minato and Junpei's conversation flowed on from there, Tamamo gave a contemplative hum. She replayed Junpei's theatrical words in her head, trying to match them up with the tattered memories she could still dredge up from a lifetime ago.
He'd been teasing Minato, but the wording had changed greatly if she recalled them correctly. In the game, he had, at the very least, implied that he was the main hero. That he was the leader of their group. That was why Chidori had kidnapped him, in hopes that he would try to save his own skin by calling off the mission when he actually had no authority to do so. But this time, even though he was saying it to Minato, he'd acknowledged Minato as the leader and himself as Minato's right-hand.
Truth or not, that was one hell of a distinction to make.
And if he told Chidori the same thing if or when they met, if his interactions with Minato were enough to alter that particular aspect, then…
She grimaced.
"Well. That calls for a new plan."