Notes:

Here's chapter 4!
I'm foreseeing that this may be the second last chapter... I've begun chapter 5 and it's starting to feel somewhat final. If you think it should be otherwise let me know. Otherwise, please enjoy and thanks for reading! :)

The next time Levi and Eren saw each other was brought about, surprisingly enough, by a joint invitation. The second one came from Eren himself in the usual last-minute fashion. It was a text inviting Levi to a show the kid was playing with his band that evening at a bar called the Pheonix. Levi allowed himself a moment to wonder if they might ever know each other well enough that Levi could lecture Eren about proper planning. Inviting people to things last minute only worked if they weren't currently tied to a fulltime job with a rotating schedule. Eren's ramshackle spontaneity definitely smacked of teenage languor.

Nevertheless, Levi had been able to book the night off in advance, thanks to, most unexpectedly, Hange. Three days after he and Eren disappeared from the party at Ymir's, Levi was surprised to receive an email from her inviting him to go to Eren's show together. He was confused. Hange was boning Erwin. Levi knew this as fact—he'd seen it with his own eyes, unfortunately—so why was she still contacting him? Maybe Hange had no idea he knew and wished to string him along as backup. Perhaps the way Hange defined relationship boundaries was far more radical than Levi had originally assumed. Either way, he wrote back with his assent almost instantly. Hange had her secrets, and so did he. Frankly, he didn't think he could wait very much longer to see Eren again, but he didn't have the nerve to ask the kid directly. Not yet, anyway.

Hange picked him up in a beat-up looking jeep and they drove down to the bar for nine. Levi had made sure to complete all of his social preparations before she arrived, so by the time he settled into her passenger's seat, buckling himself up with what looked like an old, waterlogged piece of rope, he was armed with a whole arsenal of conversation topics. He had made sure to craft each one so as to steer clear of anything relating to either of the two E's; or, more explicitly, the two people both of them were sort of cheating on one another with—that is, if you considered he and Hange as being together in any respect. Levi had no idea anymore.

Unfortunately, Hange wasn't quite so delicate in her choice of subject matter.

"Are you excited to see Eren perform again?"

Levi, who had been staring disinterestedly out the window at the time she posed her question, did his best to hide the fact that his pulse had nearly tripled. "Yeah, it should be cool."

"You really seemed to take to him that night at Erwin's," Hange carried on ruthlessly, checking her hair in the mirror. "The way you were looking at him sing was like you'd never heard music before."

"I was drunk. Anything would have seemed interesting to me at that point."

"You're really that impartial in your tastes, huh?" Hange reflected. "And here I was thinking he'd be right up your alley."

"Excuse me?"

"Well I mean, you're into rock, right?" Hange thought for a moment. "At least you seem like it, the way you dress. And Eren's music is kinda grungy—I mean, he's no Mikasa, but—"

"He's talented."

"There we go!" Hange squealed, almost shattering Levi's eardrums. "People always reveal the truth when the time comes to defend something they care about."

Levi gave her a sort of withering look. "What are you, my shrink?"

"Oh, my rates are far too high for you, honey," Hange said, turning into the parking lot. "Besides, we're here."

Levi unbuckled his seat belt and turned towards her. He had a sudden compulsion for retaliation. "What about Erwin?" he asked pointedly. "Is he coming tonight?"

"Yup, he's probably already in there," Hange replied cheerfully. "He said he was going to come early to help the guys load gear."

The woman was unconquerable. Levi gave up with a sigh.

They trooped down a long set of stairs, which were covered in old, ripped carpet, into a dingy hallway decorated with old movie posters. At the end of the hallway was a door, one third of which was obstructed by an out-of-service ATM. Levi was almost certain such a thing was against fire regulations.

They entered into a room which Levi was forced to assume was the bar. Only thing was, it felt much more like some kind of abandoned kitchen, or a backroom to the actual tavern they were supposed to be visiting. A bunch of fold-up chairs and tables were positioned around a pool table. There was no counter. Instead, there was a little window through which food and drinks alike were served from the cookery. A lone waitress stood near the window, observing the newcomers askance. Three people sat on a bench near the stage.

"Over here," Erwin called, waving at them from across the room. Hange went off to say hello while Levi solicited the waitress for a drink.

"Wow, it's pretty dead," Hange said. "I've never been here before."

"Apparently it picks up as the night goes on," Erwin informed them. Naturally, Erwin seemed to consider himself resident connoisseur of the city's nightlife. "The Pheonix used to compete with the Stallion and Horn just across the street. Eventually they thought it in everyone's best interests to stagger their shows so as to complement, rather than to diverge, their business. Thus, once the show gets out over there, I predict this place will fill up to the brim." Erwin picked up his wine and gave it a disdainful sniff. Levi was surprised he even consented to drinking it, seeing as it was served in a plastic cup. "Still, I wish the kid would've thought a little harder about venues. This is trashy—even for a punk show."

"I think it's fine," Levi found himself saying.

"Really?" Erwin raised a bushy eyebrow. "Each to their own, I suppose."

If he knew anything about rock and roll, he'd be mortified to be caught saying such things, Levi thought to himself. The way he complains, he sounds like an old man.

With a start, Levi realized that he, Hange and Erwin were all the same age. Weren't they a little creepy to be hanging out with a bunch of nineteen-year-olds?

At least Erwin didn't try to act any younger than what he was. The college TA flaunted his outdated priggishness with shameless pride. Of all the hot, young girls that mingled around their friend group, he went after a woman who was actually his own age.

Levi could hardly boast such admirable moral standings.

Levi's internal agonizing was interrupted by voices echoing down the stairwell into the bar. There was a loud clunking sound, somebody yelled, and then a cymbal came crashing down the stairs, rolling into the bar like a loosed hubcap. Armin came running in three seconds later, glancing sheepishly into the kitchen, where the bar owner was cooking up an order of fries. The guy hardly noticed. Next entered Eren's drummer, hauling a bass drum and a high-hat stand, then Eren's bassist, with an amp in either hand. Logic increased the likelihood that the next person to come through the door would be—

Levi swirled his drink around in his hand and shuffled his feet. He didn't know what was more suspicious; to act distant or familiar. Probably it would have been best to behave casually, but seeing as he wasn't sure if he could even speak, the best he managed was distracted aloofness.

It was hard enough seeing Eren again, let alone encountering him in a group of curious onlookers. For two people who were smitten enough to steal away for heated bangs in Ymir's upstairs chambers, Hange and Erwin sure weren't paying very close attention to one another. It pissed Levi off. He'd been counting on the fact that they would be distracted enough by each other to give him some space to breathe. As it was, he felt like a specimen on an operating table.

"Drinking gin again, are we?" Erwin inquired.

"He isn't too picky," Hange interjected before Levi could reply. She patted the artist's shoulder. "But when left to his own devices, he'll devour highballs like candy."

"You take it neat?" Erwin asked, eying Levi's cup. "Not even ice? What a madman. And I thought I was a puritan."

"He isn't pure, he's simple."

Levi was beginning to feel some kind of pet.

"Are you doing any art these days?" Hange asked.

Levi endeavoured to tear his eyes away from the stage, where Eren had begun plugging mics into the PA system. "Uh, yeah."

"An artiste?" Erwin inquired. "And whatever do you do?"

"I paint," Levi responded honestly. Had he not been so scattered, he might've thought to give Erwin more lip, but as it stood, his mental capacities were entirely maxed out.

"So laconic," Erwin drawled, punching Levi in the shoulder. "Well, don't leave us hanging. What is it you paint?"

"Cityscapes. Buildings."

"That's what you're doing currently?"

Levi tore his gaze away to stare at Erwin curiously. "No, actually. I've been thinking of doing something a little different this time."

Erwin nodded with genuine interest. Levi was bewildered. If he didn't know better, he might have thought Erwin was actually being nice.

"Hey guys!" Eren gasped, clearly out of breath. "Sorry I didn't say hi earlier. The stage is a bit of a mess."

"You're managing to decipher it alright?" Hange asked.

"Yeah, thanks to Mikasa. Thank god she came." Eren gave Levi a little nod. "How's it going?"

"Good," Levi answered carefully.

"Thanks for coming out," Eren called over his shoulder, making his way back to the stage. Erwin wandered after him to inspect the labyrinth of wires leading to myriad amps and speakers. Mikasa crouched over a soundboard to the left, frowning furiously as she toggled various switches.

"He's a good kid," Hange remarked, stirring her straw.

"Sure."

"Did you guys know each other from before?"

"No," Levi said quickly.

"Sure could've fooled me," Hange laughed.

Levi frowned. Not only were Hange's remarks uncalled for, but, based on Eren's most recent greeting, they seemed grossly inaccurate. The kid's behaviour was not exactly how Levi thought someone might act after losing his virginity in a bout of fatuous passion. Really, it was even a little cool for the way someone might treat a friend.

"And you and Erwin?" he asked, suddenly reckless in light of his nerves. "It seems like you guys know each other pretty well too."

"We've been friends for a while."

"Friends," Levi repeated sarcastically. "Really."

"Just what are you insinuating?" Hange demanded.

Once again, Levi's insecurities were beginning to flare up. What was he doing with these people? Did Hange have feelings for him or was she just using him? Why was Erwin being so friendly all of a sudden? Did they know about Eren? The only difference was that this time, his uncertainty spawned recklessness rather than escapism. He looked Hange square in the eye and said levelly, "I saw you guys fucking."

"No!" Hange gasped, covering her mouth. "Where?"

"At Ymir's."

"When?"

"I went looking for a washroom upstairs. I heard something at the end of the hall and went to see what it was."

"So you watched us?" Hange asked, practically jumping up and down where she was standing. "That's. So. Kinky."

"I didn't for very long," Levi clarified, the tips of his eyebrows curving upwards as though he were in slight pain. "Just long enough to get the gist."

"And what did you conclude?"

"...That the entirety of Erwin's body hair is concentrated in his eyebrows."

"You're kinda sick, aren't you?" Hange observed, her eyes shining in fascination.

"Maybe," Levi said with a sigh, glancing at the stage. Three tattoo-clad girls were chatting with the band. A pretty brunette with stretched ears had purchased Eren a beer and the two of them were laughing heartily about something. "So are you guys dating or what?"

"Erwin and I?" Hange asked incredulously. "Hell, no! We're just fuck buddies."

"I see."

"You don't seem bothered by the idea."

"Not really," Levi admitted.

"You aren't boiling over with typical jealousy."

"Nope."

"You don't care that your territory was threatened by another suitor."

"Not at all."

"You're so interesting!" Hange exclaimed, grinning stupidly. "I think we're going to make great friends!"

Before Levi was made to respond, the band ripped into their first number. Erwin was right. At quarter past eleven the bar had flooded with people, a large proportion of which exhibited raging crushes on a certain green-eyed frontman. A cluster of groupies gathered around the stage, sipping drinks and bobbing their heads to the beat. Every now and then a mosh pit would break out in the centre. Levi now understood why the bar used fold-up furniture. Anything else would have been subject to damage in the cyclone of bodies that stormed the space every three minutes. Levi leaned against the wall, watching from a distance.

Halfway through the show Eren finally decided to make some introductory remarks. The kid was dripping in sweat, a sight not completely alien to Levi's eyes. Images of their past encounters surfaced in Levi's mind, leaving him weak in the knees. Now that Eren was the one on stage, commanding a room full of adoring fans, Levi felt oddly helpless.

"I just wanna thank my friends for coming out tonight!" Eren shouted, wriggling out of his t-shirt and using it to mop his face. One of the groupies whistled lasciviously. "Without you assholes I don't know where I'd be!"

The next song began and before Levi knew it, Hange was dragging him and Erwin out onto the dance floor by the wrists. A mosh pit broke out almost immediately and Levi found himself trapped in a flurry of sweat, breath and heat. Someone shoved him from behind and he slammed into a guy wearing a tank-top and a studded belt. The guy hardly seemed to notice. He was too busy trying to get a girl up onto his shoulders. Just as she had climbed onto his back, someone collided with him from the side, knocking her up onto the stage.

Eren was on it within moments. He scooped the girl up by the armpits and settled her back on her feet. She seemed a little stunned, but the moment she realized what had happened, her face broke out into a dazzling smile. She whirled around, grabbed Eren by the sides of the head, and planted a kiss right on his lips.

Erwin's house was just as Levi remembered it. Paintings of abstruse subject matter complemented intricately-carved shelves lined with leather-bound books. One of the windows was actually made of stained glass. The bedraggled guests of the after party lounged in the living room, smoking sheesha and listening to some girl plunking away on Erwin's guitar. The room was lit by an assortment of ornate lamps.

Any other time of his life, Levi would have been home already. Not only did he work at noon the next day, but he was absolutely done watching Eren flirt with millions of adoring fans. It had been a persistent theme throughout the course of the evening. Even so, for whatever reason, and to Levi's immense consternation, he couldn't seem to tear himself away. There was a nagging unrest within him that was far too insidious to remedy with the stoic comforts of solitude. Suddenly, the confines of his apartment seemed lonely rather than safe. Levi greatly resented whatever transformation it was that was happening to him.

Hange reclined on an enormous armchair, sipping tea and receiving a backrub from Erwin. Jean and Armin were playing a haggard drinking game with an old deck of cards, and Eren was nowhere to be seen. Levi sat on the ground, to his astonishment, with a girl's head in his lap. Her hair was bright pink and her breath smelled of cherry vodka.

"So you're an artist?" she asked, drawing little circles in the carpet with her fingers.

Levi closed his eyes and listened to her speak about sculpture and society and creativity. Her words drifted into his mind the way background noise interferes with a deep sleep. All he could think about was where Eren had disappeared to and if he had done so alone.

Levi was weak with jealousy. He had been so worried about potentially violating Eren's innocence, it had never occurred to him that he might have been the one being used. Levi liked Eren. He really liked Eren, and in Levi's mind, he had a great resource of experience to draw upon when forming such an opinion. He'd slept with over twenty women in his life, none of whom had made him feel the way Eren did. It was awful.

Eren, on the other hand, hadn't slept with anybody before Levi. Even if he did claim to have feelings for the older man, how could Levi know that the sentiment was genuine? How could Eren know? The boy had nothing to compare it to. It was easy enough to say that you liked someone when they were the only person you'd ever been with. Perhaps what felt so fathomlessly deep and momentous for Levi was in fact quite shallow for Eren.

There was also the possibility that all Eren had needed was a push. Now that he'd broken the ice sexually, he could go sleep with anyone of his choosing. Certainly he was attractive enough to do so.

Levi sighed, extricating himself from the pink-haired girl's clutches and going to find a washroom. As difficult as it was, he figured it was time to pack it in. He was far too single-minded to consider banging anyone other than Eren, and far too terrified to go looking for the object of his obsessing. He didn't think he'd be quite so level-headed upon discovering Eren in the throws of love-making with someone else. There were times when self-preservation trumped curiosity and this was one of them.

The washroom on the ground floor was occupied. Levi cursed, making his way up the stairs. The similarities to the debacle at Ymir's were ominous. Just as he reached the landing, a door to his left creaked open and Eren exited, flushed as though he'd been on a jog.

Levi's stomach immediately plummeted. "Hey," he managed, groping with the door to the washroom. He wanted to escape as quickly as possible.

"Hey," Eren replied, equally blunt in his delivery. Levi paused, frozen in place. Both of them stared at each other's feet.

"Good job with the show," Levi said flatly, doing his best not to theorize who else might be in the room whence Eren had exited.

"Thanks," Eren replied dully.

After a moment, Levi gestured towards the washroom. "Were you going to use this, or—?"

"Nah, it's all yours."

Levi slipped in and mindlessly took a piss. When he opened the door, he was surprised to find Eren standing exactly where he'd left him.

"I thought you didn't have to go."

"I don't."

Levi studied Eren's face. Suddenly it hit him. The image of Eren, breathless and flushed, gripping Levi's arms with two hands as he gave himself away for the first time—this image haunted Levi. Eren had given something that belonged uniquely to Levi. It was himself. Levi couldn't help but feel a sense of possessiveness over him.

"I see you made a friend."

"Oh," Levi said indifferently. "Not really."

"She's cute," Eren said, his voice cracking slightly.

"What about you?" Levi asked, crossing his arms. "What were you doing in there just now?"

"It's none of your business."

"What's your problem?"

"Me?" Eren asked, his voice escalating slightly. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Levi sighed irritatedly.

"I just wish you wouldn't come around here anymore!" Eren blurted, his hands balling into fists. "Not if you're going to flirt with women in front of me all night! First you arrive with Hange and now it's this pink-haired chick. It's fucking awful to have to see!"

"What the—" Levi uncrossed his arms. "I already told you about Hange and Erwin. I'm not into her anyway. And as for that girl downstairs, what about you? You were smothered by groupies all night long!"

"I already told you," Eren said furiously. "I'm gay!"

"Okay—"

"But clearly you don't feel the same way," Eren lamented, his voice trembling. "You've fucked so many people it's probably all the same for you. Well, you know what? You probably should've told me that before taking me up to your apartment and—"

Eren covered his face with his hands and turned around. Levi suddenly wondered if there was another reason for why the kid's face was so flushed.

"Were you crying in there?"

"I'm such a dumbass," Eren groaned, wiping his eyes.

Levi doubted Eren's feelings because of Eren's inexperience and Eren doubted Levi's feelings because of Levi's history. The two of them were struggling against a constant barrage of nosy friends, flirtatious girls, and the risk of compromising their reputations. They'd only just met two weeks ago, and Levi didn't even know if he swung that way, yet somehow they always seemed to end up alone at the end of the night, arguing heatedly over things that would have normally seemed trivial to Levi. For some reason, cast in the light of Eren's company, even the most mundane things became extremely important.

Levi pushed Eren back into the room and shut the door. Within moments their mouths were intertwined, sucking each other's breath away in desperate gasps. Eren tasted salty like tears.

"Wait—" Eren gasped, pushing Levi away. "You don't have to do this."

"Would you stop saying that?"

"I can't keep doing this," Eren continued shakily. "Not when you're not even into guys."

Levi pushed Eren onto the bed and began undoing the boy's belt.

"I came up here for a reason," Eren said breathily. "I wanted to set you free."

"You can be so dramatic at times," Levi said, his voice muffled by Eren's boxers.

"I-I don't want you to feel obliged to t-take care of me. I'm not a ch-child."

"Eren," Levi said, tracing his tongue around the tip of Eren's cock. "I've been thinking about you all week."

"Liar!"

"I've been missing your taste..."

It was true. All throughout the week Levi was amazed to find himself fixating on the flavour of Eren's sweat, the taste of his mouth, and the essence that squirted out whenever Levi took him in his mouth. It was worse than thinking about food on an empty stomach or coffee after a sleepless night. The craving was overwhelming. It drove Levi to become someone entirely foreign to himself.

"I've been thinking about your question," Levi continued, crawling on top of Eren slowly. "And I'm not so sure anymore. What does it matter what I am? I know what I want..." His hair hung in his face, his eyes glinting through the fringe like silver flames. "And... I've also been thinking about something else..."

Eren swallowed. "What?"

"I've been wondering what it would feel like," Levi whispered, "to have youinside of me..."

Eren shivered so hard Levi felt it underneath him. There was a pause—almost like the moment in between a lightning bolt and the thunder—and then Eren moved, grabbing Levi by the sides and hurling him onto his back. Another tousle and Levi was on his stomach, bent over the side of the bed, shuddering as Eren reached around to undo his belt. Eren wrestled Levi's pants down, and then his underwear, and when Levi struggled to get up, Eren shoved him back down with a firm elbow.

"You're full of surprises," Levi panted, his face mashing into Erwin's bedspread.

"These things you say to me," Eren muttered, extricating something out of his wallet. "They're just not fair..."

Levi turned around and caught a glimpse of Eren ripping the plastic wrap off a small bottle. He barely had time to think before the lube was applied and Eren's fingers were shoved up Levi's ass.

"Jesus," Levi moaned through gritted teeth.

Eren worked his hand in and out until Levi felt himself beginning to relax. After a while, Eren reached over and pushed down on the small of Levi's back. "Tilt this upwards a bit."

Levi complied and was immediately steamrolled by one of the most intense sensations he'd ever felt.

"Ahhhh!" he cried out, seemingly unable to contain himself. "What are you—"

"You like that?" Eren asked, the corner of his mouth tipping upwards, almost sadistically. The kid's eyes were hazed over with dark focus. "That was much easier than I thought it would be."

Levi's indignation was immediately quashed as Eren penetrated him once again, grazing his prostate with slippery fingertips.

"Your cock," Levi gasped. All at once things that were once inconceivable were becoming absolutely necessary.

"What was that?"

"I want it," Levi muttered under his breath.

"You're going to have to say that a little louder—"

"Your fingers aren't long enough!" Levi moaned, grabbing the sides of the mattress. "I want you to fuck me with your cock!"

"Very well," Eren said softly.

Levi closed his eyes and waited. At this point he didn't even care if Eren hurt him. All he wanted was to feel more. He wanted to be filled with all of Eren. He wanted to hear the kid's moans as he used Levi's body to pleasure himself to orgasm. The artistic half of his mind even contended that he could die after such an act with no regrets.

"Fuuuuck," Eren groaned, entering Levi slowly. Levi could tell the kid's composure was beginning to slip.

"What are you waiting for?" Levi panted, arching his back. "Give it to me."

Eren didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed Levi's waist and thrust deep inside. Levi almost whimpered the pleasure was so intense. How had he never experienced this before? How many years had he been ignorant to the mysteries of his own body? It was only a minute later that he'd made an absolute mess of the side of Erwin's mattress. Still Eren persisted, hungry for his own release, and Levi clenched his jaw as a second wave of pleasure threatened to overtake him. It originated at the base of his spine, protracted over what felt like an eternity, climbing until Levi was crying out without a shred of inhibition. Eren gripped a handful of charcoal black hair and rode Levi until both of them were spent, soaked to the bone with sweat.

"Where the fuck," Levi panted, "did you learn to do that?"

"Just because I was a virgin doesn't mean I didn't do a little research," Eren said, catching his breath. "Let's just say hours of pent up solitude led to some pretty rigorous self-experimentation. I doubt I would've survived puberty without it..."

"Well, aren't I lucky..." Levi pulled up his pants and stood up. Almost instantly his knees buckled and he tumbled onto the floor.

"Are you okay?" Eren demanded.

"Oh my god, look at the mess we made," Levi observed, pointing at the bed.

"I'll try to find a clean sheet..."

"I bet everyone heard us downstairs."

"Meh." Eren shrugged.

"What about your groupies? It's bad for business..."

"I don't fucking care." Eren looked back and found Levi gazing up at him with such an imploring stare he began to giggle. "You don't have to worry," Eren said assuredly, rummaging around in Erwin's closet for linens. "They're all so drunk they probably won't remember a thing."

"Alright..."

Eren was wise for his age, but not wise enough to intuit the real reason for the look in Levi's eyes. The kid busied himself cleaning up the room while Levi turned his hands in his lap, contemplating what he was going to do next. Strangely enough, Levi barely thought about the fact that he'd just been fucked in the ass by a boy and loved it. His mind was busy mulling over his conversation with Hange earlier. She rejoiced in how 'sick' Levi was, both as an alleged voyeur and as a potential bisexual. But was Levi doing all of this because he was sick?

Or was it something else?

Could Levi, for the first time in his twenty-seven years on the planet, be falling head-over-heels in love?

END CHAPTER 4