Shane felt her touch on his body before he was even fully awake. He turned to her, found her mouth though he was still half asleep, felt the shape of her lips against his which made him smile.

'You're waking up in an awfully good mood.' he told her, slowly opening his eyes. 'Wonder why that is?'

'Hmm, could it be that you're off all day today, or we had some seriously hot sex last night and Petra slept the whole way through the night for the first time?' Alexis smiled. 'Or maybe that today is my last weekly appointment with Mulgrew, I'm officially graduating to her once-a-month out-patient category?'

'I'm going to pick option E and go with all of the above.' Shane grinned, running his hand over Alexis' hip. 'I'm so proud of you, my sweet little strawberry, you have no idea how hard it has been to feel like I let you down and that you had to fix yourself.'

'Let me down?'

'That I didn't see the signs sooner and suggest that we talk more about it, I felt like I should have seen it before it got as bad as it did.'

'Shane.' Alexis leaned over, kissed him. 'You caught it before it became even worse. What would have happened if, heaven forbid, something had happened to Petra and I was completely ineffective?'

'Don't even go there.' Shane shook his head, blue eyes sombre. 'Petra is a healthy, wonderful child who is probably wondering where her breakfast is right about now.'

'Go together?'

'You got it.'

They found clothes, headed for the nursery - and stopped short when they saw Petra already sitting up, her fingers clutching the spindles of her crib. She was looking around like a little sight-seer, enjoying the look of her view from her bed, then turned towards the doorway and flapped her hands excitedly when Alexis began to talk.

'Hi there precious gem, did you have a good snooze? I bet you did. Papa tuckered Mumum out really well too last night, yes he did.'

'I'll go warm her formula,' Shane said drily as Alexis moved to change Petra's nappie. Once freshened, Alexis scooped her little girl back into her arms, continued to chatter with her. 'So today you and I are going for a walk with a very special doctor, she has helped me be a great mumum for you when I was feeling sad about things. She thinks that I'm all better now, and we only need to talk once in a while. She wants to see you too.'

'Ninini?'

'Yes, she is very nice.' Alexis laughed; her baby books said that treating Petra's baby-talk like real conversation was good for developing her communication skills. 'Her name is Jeanette Mulgrew, she's a very good doctor and it just so happens she is a fan of Nebula Nine and Space Cowboy, and Lady Hawk which makes us very big fans of hers too.'

'Bobobobo?'

'No, not that kind of doctor, not like Papa or Auntie Lanie, or Doctor Cook. This is a doctor for your feelings, like what I do.'

'Pupupup!'

Alexis laughed as Petra stretched her arms upward; she lifted her daughter into her arms. 'Yes, my little gem, we're going to find Papa for breakfast, then the doctor's office, then the rest of the day with our favourite man in the whole wide world.'

As Mulgrew had booked her for the very first appointment of the morning, Alexis wasn't surprised to find her waiting outside the office in her winter-fancy. She held two take-away cups in her hand and offered one to Alexis when she approached pushing Petra's stroller.

'I didn't know your poison of choice so I went with tea.'

'Earl Grey?' Alexis asked, sipping then winced a little. 'Oooh, hot!'

'I just picked it up across the street,' Mulgrew laughed, 'so not surprising. I thought we might take a walk since it is such a nice morning, have a hot beverage and talk like you're not a patient and I'm not your doctor.'

'Different but sometimes that works really well,' she agreed.

'There's a park nearby, we can take a turn through there if you like.'

'Sounds great.'

The park was indeed nearby, and Alexis recognized it for reasons slightly less than savoury - Herman Park had been the site of Beckett's first case back from maternity leave with RJ, the one that brought Daniel and Andrea into their family for good. She related it to Mulgrew, who sipped and nodded.

'I've always thought it interesting you followed in a hybrid of your parents' footsteps. You're neither a writer nor a cop exclusively, but you work criminals and you write about it. It's a fascinating mix.'

'I like to think that's a mix of both sides coming through. I know that Beckett isn't my real mother in terms of biology but...she gave me things in my life I didn't realize I wanted. I have a fantastic father, and in a lot of ways that means a lot more to me than the missing out on a mom. Then Kate came along and she changed my life as much as she changed my father's.'

Mulgrew sipped again, considered her patient. 'That brought new people into your life, one of whom was Shane.'

'Actually, that was Ryan. He inadvertently set us up on our first date. But Ryan came from the connection to Kate so yeah, it works its way back to her too.'

'Do you feel that you still need to compare yourself to her as a mother? Or the others in your life?'

'Yes and no, though more on the no side. I remind myself on a daily basis that they have had their struggles too, sometimes it's harder than others but I remember that through all of this, they've never said a bad word. I'm the one with the harsh thoughts towards myself.'

'And what will you do about those?'

'Remember everything you taught me.'