A Study in Magic
by Books of Change
Warning/Notes: This is a BBC Sherlock and Harry Potter crossover AU. The HP timeline and BBC Sherlock's timeline has been shifted forwards and backwards to match up. One major BBC Sherlock character's gender has changed for the sake of the plot. The story was planned and written before season 2, but incorporates elements of season 2 as much as possible. Readers beware!
Chapter Seventy Three: An Unhappy Announcement
As far as Severus could tell, Dolores Umbridge stopped trying to interact with the Hogwarts student body after she drew the collective ire of the Magic Mobile Network users. Unfortunately, this led Umbridge to turn her attention to the Hogwarts teachers, mainly in the form of classroom inspections.
Multiple classroom inspections
The teachers reacted differently to this. Flitwick, for example, was unfazed by Umbridge's presence and treated her like an unexpected guest. Student rumour mill had it McGonagall was quite spectacular to watch whenever Umbridge skulked in the corner of her classroom, quietly but furiously scribbling on her clipboard because McGonagall wouldn't let her speak during class. Most of the other teachers were left in a state of anxiety so acute Madam Pomfrey had to stock up on Calming Drafts and remedies for ulcers.
There was one caveat to these inspections: Umbridge never showed up in a class where Harry Potter was present.
Trelawney complained mightily about this. She taught Divinations, which Potter (wisely) elected not to take. It was difficult garner any sympathy towards her, as Vector was in the same position and emerged from the inspections shaken, but mostly unscathed. Indeed, most of the teachers were inclined to worry over Kettleburn, who was put under probation (again).
"That Umbridge is trying to ruin my classes!" Kettleburn shouted furiously in the staffroom after Umbridge squated through his Care of Magical Creatures class.
"What did she do?" asked Sprout.
"Attack Hagrid, what else?!" roared Kettleburn as he made violent gestures. "You wouldn't believe what she wrote down on her notes! 'Appears to have difficulty understanding basic English'! 'Students are deathly afraid of him but are not allowed to protest'! 'Ancestry deeply suspect considering his size and intelligence'! The sheer nerve of that woman! How am I supposed to teach without Hagrid at my age!?"
Besides Kettleburn—who had amassed sixty-three periods of probation during his teaching career and thought Hagrid's taste for dangerous magical beasts was a boon to humanity—and Trelawney—whose Seer ability was always suspect, baring one exception—the teachers who bore the brunt of Umbridge's inspections were Lupin and Ms. Jacqueline Shin.
Umbridge was a nigh unto constant presence in Lupin's classes. When she wasn't hinting heavily Lupin's Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons were too biased towards violent solutions and should place more emphasis on compromise and negotiation—let the students die faster, in other words—she hounded Lupin over his frequent (monthly) absences. Lupin displayed a hitherto hidden sadistic streak by suggesting that they could have a long discussion on the subject in his office at such-and-such date, which also happened to be a night when there was a full moon.
Ms. Shin was likewise constantly grilled over the musical pieces she chose to teach the students. Unlike Lupin, she didn't have the gumption to inform Umbridge the 'Muggle ditty' she turned her nose up at was actually Johann Sebastian Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, No. 3. McGonagall and Flitwick took to lurking in the Music Room during the evenings in attempt to shield Ms. Shin from the worst, but this did not stop Umbridge from remarking upon the pointless nature of the music lessons. After all, there was no magic involved in the endeavor.
"Are you suggesting History of Magic is pointless as well?" Flitwick exclaimed indignantly.
"Oh, of course not, Professor Flitwick," Umbridge had said in sugary tone. "It's very important for students to learn about their magical forebears and how far the wizarding world progressed! Ms. Shin's music lessons, though, I can't help but question if there is any point to them when they don't even cover the great wizarding composers."
"Research from the Magical Institutes of Health has repeatedly demonstrated classical music and physical education greatly enhances a young wizard and witch's ability to learn magic—" Ms. Shin had started to explain.
"Excuse me, but I can't help but find that highly questionable," Umbridge interrupted. "The Ministry has not heard of any such research. At any rate, how could you possibly know whether these so-called studies are any good? You're not even a witch."
McGonagall didn't tell her colleagues what she said in retort, a great shame.
Severus himself was spared of repeat inspections. Umbridge showed up just once, and that was more than enough. Umbridge first remarked the material he taught was quite a bit advanced for the students, and had the temerity to suggest he ought to remove Strengthening Potions from the fifth year syllabus. Then she spewed a series of questions that put Severus in an increasingly murderous mood:
"Now… how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?" she asked, her quill poised over her clipboard.
"Fourteen years," Severus replied.
"You applied first for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?" Umbridge asked.
"Yes," said Severus quietly, feeling deeply rankled at the reminder.
"But you were unsuccessful?"
Severus curled his lips.
"Obviously."
Umbridge scribbled on her clipboard.
"And you have applied regularly for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?"
"Yes," said Severus quietly, barely moving his lips to conceal his anger.
"Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?" asked Umbridge.
"I suggest you ask him," said Severus jerkily.
"Oh, I shall," said Umbridge with a hatefully sweet smile.
"I suppose this is relevant?" asked Severus, his eyes narrowed to the glare he'd perfected over the last decade and successfully used on numerous dimwitted students.
"Oh yes," said Umbridge, looking away, "yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers'— er—backgrounds."
Later that night, Severus typed up a text message:
Purely hypothetically how would Holmes commit the perfect murder?
Severus pondered the text for a long time. Then he deleted it. Severus told himself it would've been rash to actually send it to Watson.
Eventually the classroom visitations dwindled down as Umbridge submitted the results of her inspection. Kettleburn remained on probation and Trelawney was put on probation. The former merely sniffed at it and the latter tried to find consolation in a bottle. Severus didn't know if Umbridge ever took up Lupin's invitation to have a talk over his monthly absences while viewing the full moon, but she clearly didn't detect his lycanthropy because he remained on staff. Ms. Jacqueline Shin also gave the impression she had received a clean bill in regards to Umbridge's inspection, disputes over the purpose for music lessons in a school of magic aside.
Then Ms. Shin announced she had submitted her letter of resignation.
"Why?" everyone exclaimed.
"I'm getting married," Ms. Shin replied.
Flitwick and Sprout sputtered and gaped at the news. Indeed, all of the teachers present in the staffroom looked thoroughly shocked, including Severus, as they were unaware Ms. Shin did anything other than work (and necessary activities such as eating and sleeping that made her lifestyle minimally sustainable).
"…Well, congratulations," McGonagall stammered. "I'm very happy for you, Jacqueline."
Ms. Shin smiled. "Thank you."
"Who is your fiancé?" asked Sprout.
"His name is Robert Ransom," said Ms. Shin, "He's an American working as a Healer in Maryland."
"How did you meet him?" Sprout asked, looking amazed.
"Mmmm, well, he does pioneering research at the Magical Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland," mumbled Ms. Shin, looking down at her hands and blushing furiously. "Last year he published a scholarly article in American Journal of Magical Medicine on the relationship between the body's immune system and magic. Apparently those who have certain autoimmune diseases can become, in his words, type II squibs because the person's magic is busy correcting the abnormal immune response…"
Ms. Shin babbled at some length about her involvement in Ransom's search. Severus put a mental note to look up Healer Ransom, as his research gave a plausible explanation to Mr. Lestrade's mysterious loss and later recovery of magic ability. It also removed the necessity of Severus asking Miss Lestrade directly, a very good thing, as a male teacher asking a female student personal questions was at best awkward and at worst may result in the teacher's arrest.
"…So he was your healer, kind of," said Kettleburn, a glazed look in his eyes.
Ms. Shin nodded minutely, giving an impression she was deeply uncomfortable with the implied breach in healer-patient relations.
"Why did your upcoming nuptials make you think to resign?" asked McGonagall.
"We decided it is best I moved to the States," said Ms. Shin.
"How so?"
"Robert offered to transfer to St. Mungo's, but I didn't want him to interrupt his work," said Ms. Shin. "There are also better opportunities for me in the States."
"Such as?"
A wry smile touched Ms. Shin's lips. "America is more open to non-mainstream magic and their magic schools encourage physical education, art and music."
"What about the Magical Mobile Network?" squeaked Flitwick, "Will you move headquarters to America?"
"I'm actually thinking of selling it," said Ms. Shin.
All jaws dropped again, including Severus's. He had assumed Ms. Shin would fight to retain her ownership of the Magical Mobile Network as a means to disseminate accurate news to the Wizarding World, particularly in regards to the Dark Lord. Why would Dumbledore allow this to happen?
"Why?" asked McGonagall, looking as dismayed as Severus felt.
"It's killing me," Ms. Shin whispered, looking bone-weary. "I mean this literally. Robert gave me an ultimatum: If I keep working at the rate I'm working right now, I'll die."
Ah, Severus thought. It was no secret among the staff Ms. Shin worked insane hours to keep the MMN in good operating condition. Apparently Healer Ransom accomplished what the combined forces of Dumbledore, Grandmaster Shin, McGonagall and Pomfrey could not: convince Ms. Shin to stop lest she work herself to death. The power of Love, Severus thought sarcastically.
"Your health should certainly take a higher priority," said McGonagall, nodding.
"Robert said the same thing," said Ms. Shin. Then in a lighter tone, she said, "It's a relief, honestly. MMN was always a chore to work on."
Severus was going to remark selling the business would also free her from the Ministry's pressuring tactics, but Flitwick put a hex on him before he could open his mouth.
"Good riddance, then," said McGonagall firmly as Severus non-verbally removed the hex whilst glaring at Flitwick. "So when are you holding the ceremony?"
"I don't know," said Ms. Shin. "Probably in the next six months."
"That's a rather short engagement," Sprout remarked.
"We were actually shooting for three," said Ms. Shin, blushing. "I wanted to have a summer wedding, but we couldn't find a venue and …"
"Surely you could afford anything you so desire," said Severus snidely.
"Yes, that's true," said Ms. Shin patiently. "But most venues are fully booked four years in advance."
"Even in America?"
"Well, the recent government shut-down closed all the magical state parks and monuments, so all the brides who booked them are panicking and looking for alternatives…"
"What about Hogwarts? I'm sure Dumbledore would be delighted!"
Severus left his colleagues to interrogate Ms. Shin and headed over to the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore appeared to be expecting him.
"Jacqueline already told me of her future plans," said Dumbledore calmly. "She had, in fact, planned to drastically reduce her role in the Magical Mobile Network after the Quidditch World Cup broadcast. Lord Voldemort's return merely accelerated her planned retirement."
"Who will succeed her?" Severus asked.
"Her current business director, most likely," said Dumbledore, blue eyes twinkling. "He already owns twenty percent of the business and was involved in the MMN since the beginning."
Severus wondered who this wizard was. Not one of the students, surely. Only Potter, Granger, Ron Weasley, and Miss Lestrade were involved with the MMN, and the boys didn't strike him as possessing the necessary intelligence—any worthwhile intelligence, really— to make a business work.
"Can we trust him?" asked Severus.
"I certainly do," said Dumbledore, eyes still twinkling mischievously. "He is fully cognizant of Lord Voldemort's return, and is working closely with Sherlock."
Severus felt his temper flair up at the mention of Holmes's name.
"Why not you?" said Severus tersely, "Personal differences?"
"I merely know what Sherlock is up to and endorse his plan heartily," said Dumbledore serenely.
"How can he be up to anything?" snapped Severus. "Neglecting his fatherly duties, is he?"
"I believe he is being so active because of his fatherly responsibilities," said Dumbledore. "You know, Severus, you can always ask if you are curious."
"Has it escaped your mind that I'm your spy to the Dark Lord?" Severus hissed. "There are certain expectations involved in that role and discoursing with Muggles is not one of them!"
"Why, Severus, are you telling me Voldemort has mastered Muggle technology?" said Dumbledore, eyebrows raised. "This is vital intelligence! How could you have forgotten it, I wonder?"
Severus glowered at Dumbledore, who merely beamed at him.
Then, abruptly, Dumbledore turned serious.
"I can, at the moment, act as your intermediary," Dumbledore said sternly. "But there will come a time when you will have to work directly with John and Sherlock if you wish to win your personal war. The inevitability of this could not have escaped you. So choose your actions wisely."
Severus said nothing.
"Regarding Healer Ransom's research and the forthcoming nuptials between him and Jacqueline, I think it is best you inform Voldemort as soon as possible," said Dumbledore, changing the subject.
"As you say," said Severus, relieved at the reprieve.
"You should also inform Voldemort that Jacqueline is thinking to sell the Magical Mobile Network," Dumbledore added.
"Why? She has a successor," said Severus, frowning.
"That does not necessarily mean he will succeed," said Dumbledore cryptically. "At any rate, Ms. Shin intends to make a public announcement about her decision to retire as owner. It is better to give Lord Voldemort the impression he received the information earlier."
"If you think so," Severus huffed. "But you know what he will do, don't you, when the Dark Lord hears the news?"
"I expect Voldemort will soon seize the opportunity and seek to control the Magical Mobile Network through his Ministry channels, namely through Lucius Malfoy," said Dumbledore.
"And you are fine with this?"
"Frankly, I am not," said Dumbledore, sighing a little. "Indeed, I would rather the Magical Mobile Network never fall into the Ministry of Magic's hands, even for a brief moment. But that decision is out of our hands. There is no point keeping it at the expense of the mind and soul behind it all."
Severus agreed.
"When should I inform the Dark Lord?" Severus asked.
"After you familiarized yourself with Healer Ransom's research," said Dumbledore, looking mischievous again. "I would hate for you to be caught unawares when Lord Voldemort questions you."
"Very well," said Severus curtly.
-oo00oo-
Severus spent the next eight hours reading articles written by Robert Ransom.
He published a lot, Robert Ransom. Besides the relationship between the immune system and a person's magic, he wrote extensively on the strong correlation between cardiovascular system efficiency and the so-called magic cap. While he wasn't convinced the magic cap was a real thing, reading those articles brought back memories of Watson insisting to Severus that he do 'cardio' back when Watson tried to teach him Muggle Martial Arts.
Severus typed up a text message after he finished reading the exercise regime healer Ransom recommended to wizards and witches interested in increasing their magic cap. It was, interestingly enough, virtually identical to the one Watson drew up three years ago. Severus worded the text thusly:
It appears you and the best healer in the Wizarding World are in agreement where physical exercise is concerned.
Severus stared at the message at great length. In the end he saved it as a draft. Perhaps he would send it to Watson later.
Severus continued reading until the early hours of the morning. At some point, as he cross-referenced the citations, Severus realised Robert Ransom also went by the name Robert Dongyi Ju.
Severus had to sit back in shock for a moment when he discovered this. It wasn't Ransom's fame as the modern day Hua Tou that put him in such a state, though it did have a factor. Robert D. Ju was well known among potioneers for his eccentricity and Gynophobia, due to his inexplicable hatred for all cauldrons and habit of throwing himself out of a window whenever he was stuck in a room that had witches. How, then, did he manage to stay in Ms. Shin's proximity? What made her different? Ms. Shin was as far from an attractive beauty as one could get without being stupid and ugly…
Severus was still mulling over the conundrum when he sent his report for the Dark Lord over the MMN (the Dark Lord was very taken by it; the last time Severus had seen him, he was dismantling several older versions of the phone to build a private network only his Death Eaters could use). He would've been content to muse in private except the Dark Lord included in his reply a largely rhetorical and heavily sardonic note as to whether or not he should order one of his Death Eaters to go find the shallow grave in which Shin June Hu must've interred Robert Ransom's body when he visited him, hat in hand, asking for his daughter's hand in marriage.
Severus couldn't help but think the Dark Lord had a point. Because really, never mind courtship, how did Ransom manage to gain Grandmaster Shin's permission to marry his only surviving daughter? Clearly Ransom lived to tell the tale, because Ms. Shin still had a fiancé to marry afterwards.
Severus asked Flitwick over the morning toast if he knew anything about it.
"Well, we did ask," squeaked Flitwick, looking quite a bit amused. "Jacqueline wasn't forthcoming, I'm afraid. She mumbled something about someone shouting 'take her!' far too enthusiastically, but I don't think she was talking about her father, considering…"
Severus tried to picture the dour and expressionless Shin June Hu doing this in his head and quickly decided, no, impossible.
Severus eventually returned to his coffee. A small flock of Owls descended upon the Great Hall a few minutes later. As though on cue, students, teachers, temporary headmaster (for Durmstrang) and headmistress (Beauxbatons) took out their phone and watched the news.
It soon became clear Severus gave his report to the Dark Lord right on time. The third item in the newscast was Ms. Shin announcing her retirement as the Magical Mobile Network's owner.
Severus was congratulating himself when he heard Ms. Shin's holographic-self named Ronald Weasley as temporary chairman and director.
"Weasley?!" Severus exclaimed before he could stop himself.
He looked around quickly to see if anyone noticed his indiscretion. Luckily, everyone in his proximity appeared just as astonished as Severus at the news, thus were too preoccupied to notice what was going on around them.
Severus turned his attention to the Gryffindor table. He spotted the sixth Weasley child immediately. As usual, he was sitting next to Potter, who sat next to Granger. Perhaps it was just Severus's imagination, but the redhead looked more dimwitted than he did usually. Even as he watched, Weasley, whose eyes looked puffy and whose mouth was full of eggs and bacon from the looks of it, gormlessly reached for a sausage and knocked over a pot of marmalade.
The MMN is doomed, Severus decided.
-oo00oo-
Ron half-listened to Hermione scold him for tipping over the marmalade pot as he forked another sausage. Damn his elbows, he never seemed to know where they were at a given time…
"Ron, are you listening?" said Hermione.
"Yes," said Ron shortly.
"Well, then, you'd better—"
"Oh what did I do wrong now?" asked Ron irritably.
"Sorry, I only—"
"Did I implode the butter or burn the toast?" Ron snarled. "Look, I didn't get to sleep at all last night, Hermione. I had this five hour phone meeting with Mr. Jeremy, then Harry was telling me about the funny dream he had—"
"No, look!"
Hermione was pointing overhead. Ron and Harry both looked. A handsome screech owl was heading towards their direction.
"Isn't that Hermes?" said Hermione, sounding amazed.
"Blimey, it is!" said Ron, throwing down his fork. "What's Percy writing to me for?"
Hermes flew to the Gryffindor table, landed on the spilled marmalade and held out a leg to which a letter was attached. Ron took the letter off it and the owl departed at once, leaving sticky footprints across the wood.
"That's definitely Percy's handwriting," said Ron staring at the words on the outside of the scroll: Ronald Weasley, Gryffindor House, Hogwarts. He looked up at the other two. "What d'you reckon?"
"Open it!" said Hermione eagerly, and Harry nodded.
Ron unrolled the scroll and began to read:
Dear Ron,
I have only just heard (from no less a person than the Minister for Magic himself, who has it from Mr. Lestrange) that it was your idea to interview Madam Umbridge and show the Wizarding World the steps the Ministry is taking to improve Hogwarts.
I was most pleasantly surprised when I heard this news and I certainly commend you for doing it. I must admit that I have always been afraid that you would take what we might call the 'Fred and George' route, rather than following in my footsteps, so you can imagine my feelings on hearing you have stopped flouting authority and have decided to show good public spirit.
But I want to give you more than my commendation, Ron. I want to give you some advice, which I am sending knowing full well you will probably share it with your friend Harry Potter.
From what the Minister let slip when telling me what you've done, I gather Harry is rather sceptical towards the ministry, Madam Umbridge in particular. I must tell you, Ron, that he is deeply mistaken. I have no doubt this is a result of Dumbledore's influence. Yes, I know he was considered one of the greatest wizards of our time, but I'm afraid this opinion is now obsolete. In fact, I feel bound to tell you that Dumbledore may not be in charge at Hogwarts much longer. I shall say no more here, but I suggest you read the Daily Prophet after you've finished reading my letter. You will get a good idea of where Dumbledore really stands — and see if you can spot yours truly!
Seriously, Ron, you do not want to be tarred with the same brush as Dumbledore, it could be very damaging to your future prospects, and I am talking here about life after school, too. As you must be aware, considering your heavy involvement in the Magical Mobile Network, the Ministry was seriously considering the possibility of prosecuting your employer Jacqueline Shin for criminally irresponsible conduct. It was a potentially dangerous move, considering what her father is capable of, but you must understand the Ministry must keep law and order no matter what the cost. Thankfully Ms. Shin has been cooperative and even receptive to the idea of letting the Ministry take over some of its key businesses to ensure what happened at the end of the Second Task of the Triwizard Tournament will never be repeated.
This leads me to my other bit of advice. As I have hinted above, Dumbledore's regime at Hogwarts may soon be over. Your loyalty, Ron, should be not to him, but to the school and the Ministry. I am very sorry to hear that, so far, Madam Umbridge is encountering very little cooperation from staff as she strives to make those necessary changes within Hogwarts that the Ministry so ardently desires. I shall say only this—a student who shows himself willing to help Madam Umbridge now may be very well-placed for Prefectship and even Head Boyship in the next couple of years. Also, with the kind of experience you can bring to the table, you would certainly have many offers at the Ministry!
I hope to see you at the Third Task, as I will not be able to see you over the summer. It pains me to criticize our parents, but I am afraid I can no longer live under their roof while they remain mixed up with the dangerous crowd around Dumbledore. (If you are writing to Mother at any point, you might tell her that a certain Sturgis Podmore, who is a great friend of Dumbledore's, has recently been sent to Azkaban for trespass at the Ministry. Perhaps that will open their eyes to the kind of petty criminals with whom they are currently rubbing shoulders.) I count myself very lucky to have escaped the stigma of association with such people—the Minister really could not be more gracious to me— and I do hope, Ron, that you will not allow family ties to blind you to the misguided nature of our parents' beliefs and actions, either. I sincerely hope that, in time, they will realize how mistaken they were and I shall, of course, be ready to accept a full apology when that day comes.
Please think over what I have said most carefully, particularly the bit about Dumbledore, and do try to persuade Harry. If he proves stubborn, then as painful as it may be, I advise you to sever ties with him.
Your brother,
Percy
Harry looked up at Ron.
"Well," Harry said, trying to sound as though he found the whole thing a joke, but failing miserably at it. "Would you—er—what is it? Oh yeah, 'sever ties' with me? Because you know where I stand and will continue to stand."
Ron crumpled the letter between his hands.
"He is—" Ron said jerkily, tearing Percy's letter in half, "the world's—" he tore it into quarters "biggest—" he tore it into eighths "git."
He threw the pieces into a goblet and set them on fire.
Hermione looked at Ron with an odd expression on her face.
"What?" said Ron.
"You still need to write back to Percy, remember," she said, still holding that odd expression. "Here, use my quill."
Ron scowled as he took the quill Hermione offered. What Percy wrote wasn't a surprise, honestly. He kind of expected it, even before Sherlock told him what he wanted Ron to do two weeks ago, because Percy was predictable like that.
The situation rather reminded him of playing chess with Percy, strangely enough. Percy was rubbish at chess, mostly because he couldn't let go of his pieces, and when he did let go of them, it was always the wrong ones. It seemed to forever elude Percy the point of the game was checking the king, not retain as many important pieces as possible.
Ron quickly scribbled down his reply on a piece of parchment.
Dear Perce,
Got your note. Talked to Harry a bit. Not sure if I'll keep working for MMN. Miss Jack was going to put me on leave after fourth year. O.W.L.s and all that.
Ron
He paused. If he didn't warn Percy of what was to come, even a little bit, his mother would kill him dead for sure.
Ron dipped his quill into his ink bottle and added a post script:
P.S. I'm planning to sell my ownership shares.
-oo00oo-
Final Notes: Poor Ron; always underestimated. Snape is a JERK, but an endearing one to write. The trap is set!