Author's Note: So I am skipping ahead now! I am too impatient to delve into Ignite Me, where all of the really good Warner scenes are. I plan to continue this scene through the end of Unravel Me... I would expect 2 more chapters before we get into Ignite Me! This is a seriously long chapter... over 4,000 words! But it felt like a complete scene so I didn't want to split it up. You are welcome ;)
Thanks to sweetwaterspice for input on this chapter!
Christa: That is why I love Warner! A bad boy with only one chink in his armor. And I love seeing him so vulnerable.
It is killing me to write the next chapter! "Adam." More heartbreaking words have never been spoken.
ALSO! Yesterday I was listening to Sara Bareilles' Gravity. I can't think of a better song to sum up Juliette/Adam's relationship! Team Warner for the win.
Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone
Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand
So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
...The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
Does anyone have a good song for Warner/Juliette? Let me know below!
This had been far too easy.
I walk down the hall of Omega Point, using the knowledge I had gained from my walks with Castle and my memories from being carted down here to find a few possible exit routes. The hope in Castle's eye when I told him I would fight with them tomorrow was sickening. He was too trusting, he was going to get everyone killed. A few words and I had been released into the general population, no questions asked. Tomorrow, before everyone left to fight, I would walk right out of here. I had escaped confinement without a single punch.
So far, at least.
The few people in the hallways sneer at me as I pass but no one motions to stop me. Now that I am more aware of my abilities, reading the distinct emotions each person felt was simple. I am amazed at the number of emotions a person can hold at one time. Fear. Hope. Disgust. Anger. Confusion.
I turn, finding my way back to a cafeteria I had seen earlier, hoping to find Juliette there. I have to convince her to escape with me. She will die here with these idiots.
Anyway, if she doesn't come with me, I am not sure I will be able to leave. And I really don't desire to spend another day with these people. Especially if it means dying for them. I want to be free from this group of naive imbeciles. But every moment I spend without Juliette is like drowning. Even when she sat in my room saying nothing at all, her presence was intoxicating. I felt her emotions too closely, as if they were my own. I had rendered myself to her in a way I didn't think possible and all I cared about now was her happiness.
Closing my eyes, I reach out with my power, testing its abilities, hoping to find the spark of her energy.
To my surprise I find it.
Undiluted pain.
I run. She could be dying or in trouble or…
I stop.
Juliette is standing inches away from Kent
His voice is raised, "Am I ever going to catch a break? Is there ever going to be a time when some shitty thing isn't being thrown in my face?" Betrayal. Hurt. Worry. Anger. So much anger. "Jesus. It's like this insanity is never going to end."
Her pain is rolling off of her and wrapping itself around my neck, strangling me.
I'm not sure what to do. I want to kill him with my bare hands for making her feel this way, but her body language tells me she wouldn't appreciate it. "Juliette," I say, needing to feel her reaction to gage the situation.
She freezes, but there is no anger or hatred. Confusion. Worry. Fear. Guilt.
Desire? Am I imagining it, deep within her?
"What the hell are you doing here?" Kent lashes out.
I smile, realizing the depth of his anger is directed at me, not Juliette. He has learned of mine and Juliette's connection. I wonder if she told him. I wonder why she would. "It's good to see you again, Kent. We should catch up, you know. Especially in light of this new discovery. I had no idea we had so much in common."
"You sick piece of shit," Kent growls.
"Such unfortunate language." I reply, shaking my head. I don't understand what Juliette saw… sees in Kent. "Only those who cannot express themselves intelligently would resort to such crude substitutions in vocabulary." I want to push him. I yearn for Juliette to see what he is really like. I weigh his feelings, telling her everything I see, everything he is hiding. "Is it because I intimidate you, Kent? Am I making you nervous?" I laugh, proud to be having this effect on him. Perhaps there is some truth behind his worries about me and Juliette. I hope he is right. "You seem to be struggling to hold yourself together."
"I will kill you—" Kent rages and I cock my head as he charges towards me.
This will be fun.
A split second before I imagine I would have bashed his head into the wall, Kishimoto jumps between us. "What the hell do you two think you're doing? I don't know if you've noticed but you're standing right in front of the doorway and you're scaring the shit out of the little kids, Kent, so I'm going to have to ask you to calm your ass down."
Focusing my attention on Juliette as the two of them argue about me and Castle's intentions towards me, I find myself watching her wide eyes, her long lashes blinking so fast. Guilt. She is watching Kent and feeling guilty. Is it for not telling him I could touch her? I wonder again why she still didn't, especially after Castle found out. Or could it be… guilt for her feelings towards me? I had felt it the last time she was in my room. Attraction. Longing. Guilt then too.
Kent's furious shouts tug me to reality. "He could go back and give away every detail of this place—he could give away our exact location!"
"That's impossible," I respond calmly, not looking away from Juliette. "I have no idea where we are."
"Don't fucking play dumb," Kent is shouting, held back by Kishimoto.
She's scared and for a moment I allow myself to believe it is for me. She finally looks up at me and I feel it again.
Desire.
Buried so deep under her fear and confusion. But it is there, where it wasn't when she was focused on Kent.
She has to come with me. Leaving her will break me in half.
She looks away.
And reaches out
For Kent.
No.
No, no, no.
She's touching his arm.
Smiling at him. Speaking softly.
My chest is heaving. Anguish is coursing through my veins. My heart is tearing apart. She wanted me, I could feel it. She can't want him. She can't leave with him.
I step in front of them, unable to let her walk away, arm-in-arm with Kent for God's sake.
I need to say something. I can't stop staring at her hand on Kent's arm, thinking back to all of the times she touched my arm like that when we were on base.
A flash of her face as she jumps out of the window to Kent's arms.
Her hands undressing me as we kiss.
A bullet tearing through me.
It feels like she has shot me all over again and I can't open my mouth to scream. All I can say is, "Juliette." Please let go of him. Come to me. You belong with me. Agony tears at my throat as she blinks at me. "Juliette-"
"Move!" Kent says, pushing me away, along with all of my good intentions of staying calm. I lose my composure, suddenly all too eager to rid myself of this inconvenience.
Juliette's hand rests lightly on my chest and every muscle in my body freezes from the unexpected touch, as if she has ripped the bones from my body. Kent is pulling her away from me and I want to lean over and rip out his throat.
I am reaching out to Juliette, feeling the wild energy swarming around us
When a hand touches my arm and time stops.
Euphoria washes over me and I am overwhelmed by a sheer happiness I have never felt before. My eyes close as I feel the power spreading throughout my body. I feel indestructible, like with a flick of my wrist I could knock the Earth off its axis.
And then it is gone.
I open my eyes to Kishimoto's screams and Juliette's hand pulling away from my chest and I immediately understand. That was Juliette's power.
She has dropped to her knees and is making the most heartwrenching noise I have ever heard.
Her pain is fracturing my bones and for a split second I am worried I have hurt her with her own power.
I reach down and try to pull her face towards me, to see if she is okay. "Juliette—"
She rips away from me and runs to the dining room, screaming for Castle.
For the first time I notice Kishimoto on the floor, Kent checking for signs of life. His energy is there, muted but steady, and I know he isn't dead.
I press myself into the wall and away from the crowd forming in front of me, trying to still my trembling hands as I come down from the rush of adrenaline. I think back to the millisecond before the power flowed through me and I remember touching Juliette's energy. A jolt had ripped through me as I absorbed her energy into myself. I wasn't sure how long the transfer of energy had taken, but I imagine it took mere seconds. Mere seconds in which I had never felt more alive.
People rush into the hallway, lifting Kishimoto, racing towards the hospital. I can feel their anger and fear, their unspoken accusations towards Juliette. I clench my fists and my eyes find the only person who matters to me. Juliette is stumbling in the opposite direction of the crowd.
I follow her. She stands in the hallway, shaking, staring at her hands. More than anything I want to hold her, but her pain is drowning me, my head is spinning. I'm not sure how she will react to me being here.
She falls to the floor.
I have to try. "Juliette."
She nearly jumps out of her skin. She is shaking, crying, waving her hands wildly. "Stay away from me. Go away—"
"Juliette, please," My voice is shaking from her pain, which like a thick blanket, shrouds my entire being. I've felt the pain of others before and have always been for the most part unaffected. But now, with Juliette, to feel it to this degree, clear to my bones…I have never met anyone who affects me like this. She has burrowed her way into my soul and I couldn't tear her out if I wanted to. Her emotions are spinning, as if she hasn't yet landed. Deep down I know I am probably the last person she wants to see, but I'm not sure my legs would walk away from her if I ordered them to.
"I said stay away from me. I don't want to talk to you. Please—just leave me alone!"
"I can't abandon you like this!" I say, and I know it is literally true. Even my will to live is tied to her now. "Not when you're crying!"
"Maybe you wouldn't understand that emotion," she glares up from behind the hair falling into her face. "Maybe you wouldn't care because killing people means nothing to you!"
Hatred. An emotion I am used to. Suddenly I can't catch my breath. She's the only person who I have ever allowed to see behind the curtain, behind the mask. The only one to see any part of me. If she rejects me now, I'm afraid I will sink into oblivion. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about Kenji!" She yells. "I did that! It's my fault! It's my fault you and Adam were fighting and it's my fault Kenji came out to stop you and it's my fault. It's my fault he's dead!"
I'm shocked. Her hatred is internal. She thinks she killed her friend. Fear strikes me as I wonder how she will react when she finds out I was the one who used her power. I gather myself. I can't fall apart and I can't give in to my fear. I'm here for her and I rein my emotions. My usual level-headed response attempts to soothe her self-condemnation. "Don't be ridiculous. He's not dead."
She shatters into a thousand pieces. Each of her sobs is like a knife stabbing deep inside me. I kneel down next to her. "Of course he is dead, he was laying there on the floor. I don't even think he was breathing! This is all my fault. My fault. My fault. I wasn't wearing my gloves and I must have touched him…"
There it is again. The intensity of her pain is so great. Her agony flowing through me is enough to make me want to vomit. Tentatively I place a hand on her shoulder and she shoves me away.
"Why are you even here? You don't care about anyone at all. You are selfish. You are a terrible, horrible person who does terrible, horrible things. Everyone hates you, you probably don't even know what it is like to care about someone."
But I do.
"You don't have a heart, you wouldn't even understand what it is like to feel like this." She is sobbing again.
I don't tell her I know exactly what it feels like. What she feels like right now. That it is killing me. I don't argue with the things she said because they are mostly true.
She is shaking so hard I'm scared she is going to fall apart. Unable to stop myself, I reach out and pull her towards me, trying to hold her together. To my surprise she doesn't fight me. She wraps her arms around me and is nuzzling her head in my shirt. Her touch sends a shock through me and I close my eyes. I can feel her agony and I know there is no hidden meaning in this touch. But apart from her hand on my chest earlier, this is the first time she has touched me since we were on base. I absorb her pain as it is my own, the tremors of her small frame as she sobs against me. I allow myself to pretend, just for a moment, that when she stops crying, she will stay here in my arms.
Her crying slows. Her soft skin in my arms, so fragile yet so strong, is causing havoc on my heartbeat. Pushing her hair from her face and rubbing her back gently, I give myself one more moment before she will pull away. And selfishly I think of how much I yearn to kiss her.
I squeeze her tight, as if I could keep her against me forever, before I look down at her and force the words from my mouth. "You didn't kill him, love."
"Maybe you didn't see what I saw," she whispers, the image of Kishimoto on the floor haunting her.
"You are misunderstanding the situation entirely. You didn't do anything to hurt him."
"What are you talking about?"
"It wasn't you. I know it wasn't you."
She finally looks up at me, and for a moment I'm not sure if I will be able to tell her. To see those eyes turn cold against me. "How can you know something like that?"
"Because, it wasn't you who hurt Kenji. It was me."
"What?" Her whisper is deathly low and I loosen my grip around her, not wanting to force her near me if she decides to run.
"He's not dead," I say carefully, thinking of the energy I could feel radiating off him as they took him away. "though he is severely injured. I suspect they should be able to revive him."
Panic. "What? What are you talking about—" She is shaking so hard I am worried she might collapse. I convince her to sit and am surprised when she chooses to sit only centimeters away from me. Her energy is radiating from her in waves of confusion but I feel the agony in her heart beginning to clear.
"I didn't want to believe Castle when he told me I might have a … a gift," I say softly, endeavoring to accept this new part of myself as I hope she had accepted herself. "A part of me hoped he was trying to drive me mad for his own benefit. But it did make a bit of sense, if I really thought about it." How easy it had always been to feel everyone's hatred for me, my father's hatred. Even my mother's sometimes. A small shudder went through me. "Castle told me about Kent, too. About how he can touch you," Bile creeps up my throat as I think of seeing him touch her today, her hand on his arm. "and how they've discovered why. For a moment I wondered if perhaps I had a similar ability. One just as pathetic. Equally as useless. I was extremely reluctant to believe it."
"It's not a useless ability," she says loyally, and I try not to let her words smart. I tell her about how I can sense her emotions more than others and I search her, naming each one. Fear. Hesitation. Grief.
"You can really feel that?" she asks. I nod. "I never knew that was possible."
"I didn't either—I wasn't aware of it," I say, thinking back to all the times I had used this ability. All the times my father had taken advantage of my talents as a "freak" without even realizing. "Not for a very long time. I actually thought it was normal to be so acutely aware of human emotions. I thought perhaps I was more perceptive than most. It's a big factor in why my father allowed me to take over Sector 45," I say, thinking back to the series of tests he created to judge my worthiness. "Because I have an uncanny ability to tell whenever someone is hiding something, or feeling guilty, or, most importantly, lying." There was a reason using Juliette as a torture device was a natural suggestion. Part of my test had been in his torture chambers, judging truthfulness of the captives' statements. And when they lied…
"That, and because I'm not afraid to deliver consequences if the occasion calls for it."
"And I can't hurt you?" she says after I explain the nature of my abilities. "At all? My power just goes into you? You just absorb it?" Hope. From her and me.
"Would you like to see?" I say, eager both to touch her and feel her power course through me.
"Yes. Yes. Yes." She says, nodding over and over. I try to rein myself in as her emotions shift and a sudden surge of her excitement assaults me. It gives me hope until I remember she still loves Adam. Not me. "What do I have to do?"
"Nothing. Just touch me." I whisper, as if I keep my voice down, she won't notice how much I am aching for her touch. I hold out my hand and she takes it.
I close my eyes for a second, allowing myself to be satisfied with the exhilaration that comes just from her skin on mine. Before she can notice nothing is happening though, I squeeze her hand and reach out and touch her energy, pulling it towards me.
I gasp as a rush of warmth and adrenaline rushes through me and my eyes fly open.
I punch through the floor.
Then it is gone and Juliette is floundering away from me. Terrified.
"Don't be afraid—" My chest is heaving, whether from the use of her power or the possibility of her rejection, I am not sure.
"H-how," She is shaking and I feel terrible, knowing it is my fault. "how did you d-do that—"
Is she worried I will hurt her? "Don't be frightened, love, it's all right, I promise—it's new for me, too—"
"My—my power? It doesn't—you don't feel any pain?"
She is worried about me. I should relax, but the idea of anyone being worried about my pain is completely foreign and I'm not sure how to react. "On the contrary. It's the most incredible rush of adrenaline—it's unlike anything I've ever known. I actually feel a little light-headed, in the best possible way." Although I'm unsure whether the light-headedness is from her power or just her touch. I smile before dropping my head into my hands. I need to control my thoughts. She might not want to come with me when I leave. She might want to stay with him. I think of how it felt to hold her in my arms. To feel her hair against my cheek. Her hand in my hand. "Can we do it again?"
"No!" She says, but I can tell she wants to.
I grin at her uncertainty, "Are you sure?"
"I can't—I just, I still can't believe you can touch me. That you really—I mean, there's no catch? There are no conditions? You touch me and no one gets hurt?" My heart is pounding. She isn't thinking about me using her power, she is thinking about… me… touching her. She… wants me to touch her, might allow it to happen again. "And not only does no one get hurt, but you enjoy it? You actually like the way it feels to touch me?"
I don't know what to say. Confess I would never stop touching her if she would let me. Promise I could make her forget she ever knew another man's name. Tell her I have never felt as alive and happy as the few times my skin has brushed hers.
"Well?"
"Yes," I breathe.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes," my eyes search hers and I'm trying to tell her everything. I want her to read me as easily as I read her. "I like it. You never have to be afraid of touching me," Although I am afraid. So afraid. "It won't hurt me. It can only give me strength." The strength to be the kind of person she wants. The strength to show her every part of myself. I long for that strength.
She is silent for a few moments and I've shown her too much of myself. "Warner." She looks up and I drown in her blue-green eyes. "You have to tell Castle."
Confused as to why Castle would need to know I like touching her, I ask, "Why would I do that?"
"Because he has to know! It would explain Kenji's situation and it could help us tomorrow! You'll be fighting with us and it might come in handy—"
Unable to stop myself, I laugh. Confusion fills her features. When I had spoken with her earlier, I had told her my intention to leave. Did she really think this band of misfits had convinced me to fight with them?
Does she want me to stay here and fight with her… for her? Looking down at her hand, I know there are only two people I would fight for in this world. Unable to look into the eyes of the one closest to me, I brush her hand carefully.
She doesn't move. Nervous. And again, that hint of desire.
Inhaling deeply, I take her hand gently. I want to memorize some part of her and I am too scared to look up and see her face. I run my fingers along each part of her hand, wanting to touch every part of it, allowing the electricity of her touch to pulse through me.
She snatches away her hand. Embarrassed. I stare at my hands, now so empty, the memory of her hand lingering in mine.
"You're not fighting with us tomorrow," she says after I tell her my reservations about Castle's inexperience. Disappointment.
She wants me to stay. I smile. "I'm going to leave."
"You're going to leave." Sadness. Regret.
"I don't belong here," I lie. Because I belong with her. I know it.
"I don't understand—how can you leave? You told Castle you're going to fight with us tomorrow—does he know you're leaving? Does anyone know? What do you have planned? What are you going to do?"
I stare into her eyes. Run away with you, I think. Conquer the world with you by my side. I can't leave this, not while there is still hope in her voice.
"What are you going to do, Warner—"
"Juliette," I whisper urgently. I have to convince her to come with me or we will both die here. "I need to ask you somethi—"
Another voice is louder. Kent is running towards us calling, "Juliette! Where are you?"
She stands up, worried something has happened to Kenji, longing for Kent's voice. I wish I didn't know her as well as I do.
"Wait here," she says, running towards Kent.
Instead, I walk the other way. But I know I will wait here if she asks. I will die tomorrow with her band of ill-prepared soldiers with one word from her lips. Because I love her. And for the first time, I believe she might feel the same.
A/N: Now you have a homework assignment! I am completely incapable of writing sexy scenes but you all must know that what comes next is the HOT Chapter 62! So if you are aching for some sexiness, head over to sweetwaterspice's story, Golden Touch. It doesn't exactly fit in my story as hers has an alternate (and sexy) ending, but if you need a fill of some Warner, check it out! My next chapter WILL start in Chapter 62 but I will be writing about what is going on in Warner's head, not what his gorgeous body is doing :P
