A Study in Magic
by Books of Change
Warning/Notes: This is a BBC Sherlock and Harry Potter crossover AU. The HP timeline and BBC Sherlock's timeline has been shifted forwards and backwards to match up. One major BBC Sherlock character's gender has changed for the sake of the plot. The story was planned and written before season 2, but incorporates elements of season 2 as much as possible. Readers beware!
Chapter Seventy Four: The Ministry's Scoop
Percy was lucky Ron replied to his letter before he read the Daily Prophet. Ron, Hermione, Harry and Neville scanned the Daily Prophet after Ron sent off his reply and they immediately spotted the article Percy hinted at in his letter. It was on the front page, and sported a picture of Hagrid looking extremely shifty.
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Education Reform Reveals
Dumbledore's Giant Mistake
Education Decree twenty-two proved its worth after Madam Umbridge, High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, submitted the results of her inspection at the end of March. Madam Umbridge's report revealed to the Ministry that Albus Dumbledore, current headmaster of Hogwarts, made several staff appointments of deeply questionable nature. One example is Rubeus Hagrid, gamekeeper and teaching assistant.
An alarmingly large and ferocious-looking man, Hagrid has used his mysterious influence over Dumbledore to first obtain the position gamekeeper and then teaching assistant for Care of Magical Creatures. For the last two years Hagrid has been using his position as teaching assistant to terrify the students in his care with a succession of horrific creatures. While Dumbledore turns a blind eye, Hagrid has maimed several pupils while substituting for the regular teacher for Care of Magical Creatures, Professor Kettleburn, in a series of lessons that many admit to being "very frightening."
'I was attacked by a hippogriff, and my friend Vincent Crabbe got a bad bite off a flobberworm," says Draco Malfoy, a fourth-year student. "We all hate Hagrid, but we're just too scared to say anything."
Hagrid has no intention of ceasing his campaign of intimidation, however. In a conversation with Madam Umbridge, he admitted breeding creatures he has dubbed "Blast-Ended Skrewts," highly dangerous crosses between manticores and fire-crabs. The creation of new breeds of magical creature is, of course, an activity usually closely observed by the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Hagrid, however, considers himself to be above such petty restrictions.
"I was just having some fun," he said, when Madam Umbridge questioned him.
As if this were not enough, Madam Umbridge has unearthed evidence that Hagrid is not— as he has always pretended— a pure-blood wizard. He is not, in fact, even pure human. His mother is none other than the giantess Fridwulfa, whose whereabouts are currently unknown.
Bloodthirsty and brutal, the giants brought themselves to the point of extinction by warring amongst themselves during the last century. The handful that remained joined the ranks of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and they were responsible for some of the worst mass Muggle killings of his reign of terror.
While many of the giants who served He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named were killed by Aurors working against the Dark Side, Fridwulfa was not among them. It is possible she escaped to one of the giant communities still existing in foreign mountain ranges. If his antics during Care of Magical Creatures lessons are any guide, however, Fridwulfa's son appears to have inherited her brutal nature.
"The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time and Madam Umbridge's report confirmed his suspicious," said junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. "He read the part regarding Rubeus Hagrid with particular alarm and regret. However, he was glad the new legislation for educational reform, which he had pushed for and ratified in March, had proved to be such an immediate success."
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"That's not up to their usual standard," said Harry lightly while Ron, Hermione and Neville sat frozen in their seats, stunned at they had just read. "If this is the best Umbridge can do, she needs to work harder…"
Ron, Hermione and Neville goggled at him.
"What?" Harry said, looking curiously at the three of them.
Ron looked around at Harry.
"Did you know?" he whispered, "About Hagrid being half-giant?"
"No, but I guessed," said Harry. "Sherlock and I always thought he must have a giant up in his family tree. He couldn't be pure giant because they're about twenty feet tall. Anyway, who cares?"
Ron felt like banging his head against the table. Brought up by extremely unconventional Muggles, there were many things he took for granted that were revelations to Harry, but these surprises had become fewer with each successive year. Now, however, once again he ran smack into Harry's appalling ignorance of wizarding culture.
"I'll explain outside," said Ron quietly, "c'mon…"
The four of them left their house table, stopped by the Hufflepuff table to beckon Julia to follow, and finally head out of the Great Hall. As Julia read the offending Daily Prophet article, Ron, Harry, Hermione and Neville looked for an empty classroom. They eventually settled inside classroom eleven.
"So?" Harry prompted Ron. "What's the matter if Hagrid's mother was a giantess?"
"You read the Prophet. Giants are … they're …" Ron struggled for words. "…not very nice," he finished lamely.
"Oh, Ron, don't exaggerate," said Hermione as she frowned at Ron. "The Prophet said that to raise hysteria. Giants can't all be horrible. It's the same sort of prejudice that people have toward werewolves. It's just bigotry, isn't it? Of course, the problem is the Prophet is using exactly that…"
Ron was very tempted to make a scathing reply, but he stopped himself. Now was not the time to start a row with Hermione.
"But there's nothing wrong with Hagrid!" said Harry.
"I know there isn't, but … blimey, no wonder he kept it quiet," Ron said, shaking his head. "I always thought he'd got in the way of a bad Engorgement Charm when he was a kid or something. Didn't like to mention it… Anyway, no one who knows him will care, 'cos they'll know he's not dangerous, but … they're just vicious, giants. It's in their natures. They're like trolls— they just like killing."
Harry stared at him for a long moment.
"Are you saying people will forget everything they know about Hagrid and latch onto the 'giant!' part?" he said.
"Uuuuh," said Ron, feeling unsettled at the accuracy of Harry's words, particularly because it seemed to describe his own thinking. "Yeah, I guess."
Harry looked away, looking irate and furious.
"Anyway, how did Umbridge find out?" Ron wondered aloud to cover his own awkwardness. "You don't think Hagrid told her?"
"No," said Hermione. She bright eyes held the same look of fury as Harry, which somehow that made Ron's stomach hurt. "He never even told us, did he? I bet she forced him to talk against his will, the same way she made Miss Jackie edit our video against her will. Oooh, if she did something illegal, we'll have her…"
"The Ministry's probably covering it up," muttered Harry darkly. "I reckon Fudge is giving her ideas."
"You think he'd go that far?" said Neville, wide-eyed.
"I wouldn't put it past him," said Julia grimly. "Dad told me Fudge thinks Dumbledore will stop at nothing to seize power. He's getting more paranoid about Dumbledore by the day. It's a matter of time before he has Dumbledore arrested on some trumped-up charge."
There was a pause at this.
"We've got to go and see him," said Harry, "As soon as we can. I don't think he was at the Great Hall."
"Let's check," said Neville.
The five of them left classroom eleven and peered into the Great Hall. As they feared, Hagrid was absent from the head table. As they debated whether or not they should hurry over to Hagrid's cabin before heading to their respective first morning classes, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle accost them at the entrance hall.
"You're not going to see your giant friend in there," said Malfoy, smirking and jerking his thumb back at the Great Hall's double doors. "He's just too ashamed to show his big, ugly face."
"Say what?" said Harry sharply.
"You don't know?" said Malfoy gleefully, shooting derisive look at Ron. "But you run a news agency… don't tell me the Daily Prophet beat you to it… a bit slow on the uptake, aren't you?"
Malfoy put his hand inside the pocket of his robes and pulled out a folded page of newsprint.
"There you go," he said. "Hate to break it to you, Potter."
"Don't bother," Harry spat. "Your contribution was unbearable. I couldn't help but think if you're going to lie, at least do a good job at it. 'We all hate Hagrid'? And what about the rubbish about him"—he pointed at Crabbe—"getting a bad bite off a flobberworm? They haven't even got teeth!"
Crabbe just sniggered, apparently very pleased with himself.
"Well, I think it is good enough to put an end to the oaf's Hogwarts career," said Malfoy, his eyes glinting. "Half-giant … and there was me thinking he'd just swallowed a bottle of Skele-Gro when he was young. None of the mummies and daddies are going to want him here anymore … They'll be worried he'll eat their kids, ha, ha…"
Then Malfoy swaggered off, looking pleased as punch. Ron and Harry tried to go after him, but were prevented; Neville held onto the back of their robes, Hermione grabbed Ron's wand arm and Julia, Harry's.
Ron, Harry, Hermione and Neville's worry over Hagrid hovered over them like a storm cloud all day. Harry kept overpowering his spells throughout Transfiguration, and Neville almost failed his hex-deflection test at Defence Against the Dark Arts, barely managing to scrape through when he successfully cast the shield charm.
They talked to Julia at the Great Hall during dinner. She had Care of Magical Creatures that afternoon, and had offered to check how Hagrid was doing.
"He wasn't there," she said. "Both him and Kettleburn; this woman named Grubbly-Plank substituted. I asked her where they were, and she said Hagrid was indisposed. She didn't say where Kettleburn was."
That evening after dinner, the five of them left the castle and went down through the grounds to Hagrid's cabin. They knocked, and Fang's booming barks answered.
"Hagrid, it's us!" Harry shouted, pounding on the door. "Open up!"
Hagrid didn't answer. They could hear Fang scratching at the door, whining, but it didn't open. They hammered on it for ten more minutes; Ron even went and banged on one of the windows, but there was no response.
"What's he avoiding us for?" Hermione said when they had finally given up and were walking back to the school. "He surely doesn't think we'd care about him being half-giant?"
But it seemed that Hagrid did care. They didn't see a sign of him the next morning. He didn't appear at the staff table at breakfast, and they didn't see him going about his gamekeeper duties on the grounds. Professor Kettleburn was similarly absent and the older students speculated he'd finally done something that got himself sacked. Professor Grubbly-Plank, an elderly witch with closely cropped grey hair and a very prominent chin, continued to teach the Care of Magical Creatures classes. Malfoy gloated at every possible opportunity.
"Missing your half-breed pal?" he kept whispering to Ron whenever there was a teacher around, so that he was safe from his retaliation. "Missing the elephant man?"
The Friday of that week was also the last day of the spring term. Ron and his friends discussed the chances of seeing Hagrid after Easter Holidays. None of them liked the look of the odds.
"As if we don't have enough worry about," Ron grumbled during lunch. "We're supposed to work on the MMN transfer during the holidays, too…"
"Count your blessings; I have to help Auntie Jack with her wedding," Julia snarled.
Ron, Harry and Neville all looked down and kept their mouths firmly shut. Julia was liable to blow up at anyone who mentioned Miss Jack's forthcoming marriage (groom unknown), and even thinking about it often led to being attacked by a flock of miniature glass seagulls (Ron still sported the marks from the last pecking attack).
They had a particularly difficult Double Potions class that afternoon. Snape appeared to no more look forward to the start of Holidays than he would look forward to naming Harry as his heir, and tried to bully Neville worse than ever. Neville refused to give him the satisfaction that his comments were getting to him, however, and that seem to further enrage Snape. Ron wasn't exactly surprised when at the end of class Snape surprised them with an unannounced quiz on antidotes.
"SILENCE!" Snape roared when the whole class let out a noise of protest. "The general standard of your antidotes from last term were abysmal, and have told you since then that I expected to see a great deal more effort. I shall hand out detentions to dunces who get another D."
He turned heel as Malfoy sniggered and said in a carrying whisper, "Some people got a D last term? Ha!"
Determined not to give Snape an excuse to give them detention, Ron and Harry doubled their effort to peek at Hermione's quiz, and Hermione made no moves to hide her answers, even when she noticed their shifting glances. Unfortunately, Neville was as skilled in cheating as he was at Potions. Snape gave him detention after scribbling a large, spiky red 'D' on the centre of his quiz.
"What a way to end a term," said Ron gloomily as they climbed the steps out of the dungeon and made their way across the Entrance Hall. "Poor Neville, I don't think I'd be able to control my stomach if Snape made me clean the dungeon's drains…"
"Why is she still here?" Hermione whispered suddenly. "Look!"
She pointed across the Entrance Hall, and Ron saw Madam Umbridge in front of the staffroom. Umbridge was talking to Argus Filch, the caretaker. Filch was perhaps the only person in Hogwarts who liked Umbridge, owing to the fact Umbridge decided his request that students ought to be hung from their ankles as punishment was perfectly reasonable.
Anyway it was indeed odd, Ron thought, that Umbridge was here at Hogwarts when she had finished her Inspections. He watched Umbridge as they came closer to the Great Hall. Umbridge wore a wide smile of callous satisfaction on her face as she listened to what Filch had to say. But then she looked over, saw them, and dismissed Filch with a wave of her hand.
"Ah, Mr. Potter, just the person I wanted to see," said Umbridge sweetly. "I would like a word with you."
"What for?" snapped Harry.
"To address your tone, for starters," said Umbridge, her toad-like smile widening, "But also your choice in friends. You call Hagrid a friend, don't you?"
"Yes," said Harry defiantly.
"We all do," said Hermione, glaring at Umbridge. "Right, Ron?"
Ron looked down, but managed to nod, somehow.
"I feared as much," said Umbridge, clicking her tongue. "Really, Mr. Potter, don't you know half-breeds like Hagrid always take after their non-human parents? Of course, I expected such foolish ignorance from a Muggle-born like you, Miss Granger, but you, Mr. Weasley; I thought you would teach your friend better."
Ron saw red at this comment. Harry looked like he could scarcely breath from this outrage and Hermione balled her fists, as though she wanted to put one through Umbridge's broad face.
"You horrible woman," Hermione said, through gritted teeth, "How dare you … how dare you call Hagrid a half-breed!"
"Silence, you silly little girl, don't you know who you are talking to?" said Umbridge coldly, her eyes hardening as they fell on Hermione. "This is precisely why Muggle-borns do not really deserve the privilege of learning magic. No sense of respect and hardly any instinct a wizard-born child naturally has…"
Hermione's eyes flashed.
"Let's go," she said, "c'mon. Harry— Ron…"
They turned heel. Ron glanced back as they walked away. Umbridge was scribbling furiously on her clipboard.
"She'll be after you next, Hermione," said Ron in a low and worried voice as they walked quickly away from the staffroom.
"She doesn't scare me!" said Hermione defiantly; she was shaking with rage. "I'll show her! Just an ignorant Muggle-born, am I?! Oh, I'll get her back for this…"
"You don't want to go upsetting Umbridge," said Ron nervously. "I'm serious, Hermione, she'll try to get you expelled."
"Let her try!" said Hermione, now striding along so fast that it was all Ron and Harry could do to keep up with her. Ron had never seen Hermione in a rage like this before and it was as terrifying as it was mesmerizing. "And Hagrid isn't hiding anymore! He should never have let that excuse for a human being upset him! Come on!"
Breaking into a run, she led them all out to the grounds, now spotted with new grass, and to Hagrid's cabin. The curtains were still drawn, and they could hear Fang barking as they approached.
"Hagrid!" Hermione shouted, pounding on his front door. "Hagrid, that's enough! We know you're in there! Nobody cares if your mum was a giantess, Hagrid! You can't let that foul Umbridge do this to you! Hagrid, get out here, you're just being—"
The door opened. Hermione said, "About t—!" and then stopped, very suddenly, because she had found herself face-to-face, not with Hagrid, but with Albus Dumbledore.
"Good afternoon," he said pleasantly, smiling down at them.
"We—er—we wanted to see Hagrid," said Hermione in a rather small voice.
"Yes, I surmised as much," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. "Why don't you come in?"
"Oh … um … okay," said Hermione.
She, Ron, and Harry went into the cabin; Fang launched himself upon Harry the moment he entered, barking madly and trying to lick his ears. Harry fended off Fang as Ron looked around.
Hagrid was sitting at his table, where there were two large mugs of tea. He looked a real mess. His face was blotchy, his eyes swollen, and he had gone to the other extreme where his hair was concerned; far from trying to make it behave, it now looked like a wig of tangled wire.
"Hi, Hagrid," said Harry.
Hagrid looked up.
"'Lo," he said in a very hoarse voice.
"More tea, I think," said Dumbledore, closing the door behind Ron, Harry, and Hermione, drawing out his wand, and twiddling it; a revolving tea tray appeared in midair along with a plate of cakes. Dumbledore magicked the tray onto the table, and everybody sat down. There was a slight pause, and then Dumbledore said, "Did you by any chance hear what Miss Granger was shouting, Hagrid?"
Hermione went slightly pink, but Dumbledore smiled at her and continued, "Hermione, Harry, and Ron still seem to want to know you, judging by the way they were attempting to break down the door."
"Of course we still want to know you!" Harry said, staring at Hagrid. "You don't think anything that Umbitc— sorry, Professor," he added quickly, looking at Dumbledore.
"I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry," said Dumbledore, twiddling his thumbs and staring at the ceiling.
"Er—right," said Harry sheepishly. "I just meant—Hagrid, how could you think we'd care what the ministry or what that—woman—says about you?"
Two fat tears leaked out of Hagrid's beetle-black eyes and fell slowly into his tangled beard.
"Living proof of what I've been telling you, Hagrid," said Dumbledore, still looking carefully up at the ceiling. "I have shown you the letters from the countless parents who remember you from their own days here, telling me in no uncertain terms that if I allowed the Ministry to sacked you, they would have something to say about it—"
"Not all of 'em," said Hagrid hoarsely. "Not all of 'em wan me ter stay."
"Really, Hagrid, if you are holding out for universal popularity, I'm afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time," said Dumbledore, now peering sternly over his half-moon spectacles. "Not a week has passed since I became headmaster of this school when I haven't had at least one owl complaining about the way I run it, and this past month I have been practically inundated with owls bearing complaints. But what should I do? Barricade myself in my study and refuse to talk to anybody?"
"Yeh—yeh're not half-giant!" said Hagrid croakily.
"Only mad and going senile, according to Daily Prophet," said Professor Dumbledore calmly. "The tendency may run in my family. My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did we Dumbledore brothers hide? No, we did not! Aberforth in fact held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery…"
"Come back and teach, Hagrid," said Hermione quietly, "please come back, we really miss you."
Hagrid gulped. More tears leaked out down his cheeks and into his tangled beard.
Dumbledore stood up. "I refuse to accept your resignation, Hagrid, and I expect you back at work at the end of Easter Holidays," he said. "You will join me for breakfast at eight thirty in the Great Hall. No excuses. Good afternoon to you all."
Dumbledore left the cabin, pausing only to scratch Fangs ears. When the door had shut behind him, Hagrid began to sob into his dustbin-lid-sized hands. Hermione kept patting his arm, and at last, Hagrid looked up, his eyes very red indeed, and said, "Great man, Dumbledore … great man …"
"Yeah, he is," said Ron. "Can I have one of these cakes, Hagrid?"
"Help yerself," said Hagrid, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. "Ar, he's righ', o' course—yeh're all righ' … I bin stupid … my ol' dad woulda bin ashamed o' the way I've bin behavin'…" More tears leaked out, but he wiped them away more forcefully, and said, "Never shown you a picture of my old dad, have I? Here…"
Hagrid got up, went over to his dresser, opened a drawer, and pulled out a picture of a short wizard with Hagrid's crinkled black eyes, beaming as he sat on top of Hagrid's shoulder. Hagrid was a good seven or eight feet tall, judging by the apple tree beside him, but his face was beardless, young, round, and smooth—he looked hardly older than eleven.
"Tha was taken jus' after I got inter Hogwarts," Hagrid croaked. "Dad was dead chuffed … thought I migh' not be a wizard, see, 'cos me mum …"
Ron choked on the cake he bit into as he rather irrelevantly wondered how Hagrid's tiny dad and his giant mum went about … making Hagrid.
"'Course, I never was great shakes at magic, really," Hagrid went on over Ron's choking noises. "But at least he never saw me expelled. Died, see, in me second year…
"Dumbledore was the one who stuck up for me after Dad went. Got me the gamekeeper job … trusts people, he does. Gives 'em second chances … tha's what sets him apar' from other heads, see. He'll accept anyone at Hogwarts, s'long as they've got the talent. Knows people can turn out okay even if their families weren' … well … all tha' respectable. But some don' understand that. There's some who'd always hold it against yeh …there's some who'd even pretend they just had big bones rather than stand up an' say— I am what I am, an' I'm not ashamed. 'Never be ashamed,' my ol' dad used ter say, 'there's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth botherin' with.' An' he was right. I've bin an idiot. I'm not botherin' with her no more, I promise yeh that. Big bones … I'll give her big bones."
Ron, Harry and Hermione stared at each other bewilderingly for a second until a look of horrified epiphany crawled all over Hermione's face. Ron wasn't sure if he wanted to know what she figured out, but decided to ask her later nevertheless.
"Yeh know wha, Harry?" Hagrid said, looking up from the photograph of his father, his eyes very bright, "when I firs' met you, you reminded me o' me a bit. Mum an' Dad gone, an' you was feelin' like yeh wouldn' fit in at Hogwarts, remember? Not sure yeh were really up to it … an' now look at yeh, Harry! Best spell-caster Hogwarts has ever seen in decades!"
He looked at Harry for a moment. Then he turned to all three of them and said, very seriously, "Yeh know what I'd love? I'd love ter see Jack's company really succeed, I really would. It'd show 'em all … Yeh don' have ter be all put t'gether to do it, and yeh don' have ter be pureblood ter do it, either. Yeh don have ter be ashamed of what yeh are. It'd show 'em Dumbledore's the one who's got it righ', lettin' anyone in as long as they can do magic. How is the MMN going, Ron?"
"Great," said Ron, not meeting Hagrid's eye. "Really great."
Hagrid's miserable face broke into a wide, watery smile.
"Tha's my boy … you show 'em, Ron, you show 'em. Don' let the Ministry pull it down…"
Lying to Hagrid wasn't quite like lying to anyone else. Ron shot a miserable look at Harry and Hermione, and they gave him an equally anguished look. Hagrid would be devastated when Sherlock's plan went into full bloom, but then again, they didn't dare tell Hagrid what they were doing. Hagrid was horrible at keeping secrets, as they well knew from the way Quirrell was able to get information about Fluffy from Hagrid back when they were first years.
Hermione was first to break. "Listen, Hagrid—"
Ron shot her a furious quelling look as Hagrid looked at them curiously.
"I'm actually thinking to start another business," said Ron loudly.
"Another one?" said Hagrid, surprised. "On top of MMN and the broadcastin' one?"
"Yeah," said Ron. "I'm going to start working on it with Fred and George over Easter."
"Those two?" said Hagrid, his bushy eyebrows raised. "Wha' is it about?"
"Well, Fred and George, they wanted to start a joke shop," Ron explained. "They've got a load of good stuff to sell and there's definitely a market… Only problem is, they don't have enough money to start it right now, not even a mail-order business. My mum has the same problem. She has a roaring trade going on, selling enchanted baby products, but she can't do all the mailing with Erroll."
Hagrid nodded.
"Miss Jackie and her fiancé developed a thing that would help," Ron went on. "They call it 'The Magic Egg'. No, don't ask," he added quickly when Hermione opened her mouth, "they're both horrible at naming things and I have no idea why eggs are relevant … Anyway, if the thing works, it, uh, might get even bigger than the MMN."
Hagrid looked both surprised and delighted.
"…Even bigger than the MMN, yeh say? You sure?"
Ron nodded firmly. "Dead sure."
Hagrid patted his back, making Ron land face-first into a cake.
"Good man!" growled Hagrid, beaming. "Yeh can do it, Ron, I know yeh can … Jack didn' make yeh business director fer nothin'…"
-oo00oo-
Final Notes: Poor Hagrid. But be of good cheer; judgment will start raining down on Umbridge in the next chapter.
There is a website that inspired the 'magic egg'. Do you know what it is? ;)
ASIM is two years old! Thirty five additional chapters since last year! I'm slacking off :(