Chapter Four

Three months after Hawkmoth's defeat

Sweat soaked the red bandana secured around Adrien's head, his fingers ached as they took purchase of the next grip on the wall. His calves burned as he propelled himself upward like a human spider. His newly expanded climbing wall was certainly putting him through his paces. This was good because concentrating on the physical cleared his mind.

"She's watching you again." Plagg chortled from his cheese box below.

The model froze at his kwami's words, so much for not thinking. He stared at the wall, using the momentary pause to catch his breath, he wished his heart would also slow down. It seemed that Ladybug's regular visits were becoming nightly. Once there was a time when he would have left his window open in invitation, hoping that's she'd come in. Not anymore, despite the passage of time, Adrien wasn't ready to talk to her yet.

Gabriel's trial was well underway and the constant reminders of that night were wearing him down. No one understood the depth of his distress, how could they? It wasn't like anyone knew he was Chat Noir, well nobody but Master Fu. The old man had attempted to see him, no doubt to apologise for the disaster that had befallen his life, but he'd blown him off. They weren't close and he wasn't coming to reclaim Plagg, therefore he didn't want to talk to him. Part of him wondered if Master Fu had told Ladybug who he really was. It would explain her constant visits.

But if she knew, why would she visit? The veil of guilt fell over him once more. Chat Noir had crossed a line that night, he'd lashed out with a savage ferocity he didn't know he possessed. And Ladybug's words continued to taunt him, "Adrien doesn't have a mean bone in his body. It would be completely out of character for him." She'd change her mind if she knew it was Adrien, under the mask, who had been on the verge of beating the living daylights out of his own father.

Still, Ladybug remained desperate to talk to him which made him certain that Chat Noir's alter ego continued to be a mystery for her. That being the case, he suspected she felt a need to tell him her side of the story in person. She'd given evidence in court when he'd been there. For the most part he hadn't looked at her, too torn up by his own memories of the same event. Those emotions needed to be buried away so he was able to function, recalling too much would incapacitate him.

Adrien refused to look outside, instead he focussed on the next handhold. Considering the best way to reach it. Knowing that Ladybug was watching him meant that he couldn't make the moves with the flourish of Chat Noir. He needed to be fluid and nimble, not spectacular and flamboyant. More importantly he needed to forget she was there.

Yet he longed to turn his head and meet her eyes, to acknowledge that he knew she was keeping an eye on him. But his life was complicated enough. Mixing the responsibilities of the trial, modelling and leading the Gabriel brand meant he was busy during the day. At home his time was divided between exercise and sleep. The former not only kept the dark thoughts at bay but was also a requirement for maintaining his physique as a model.

Plagg had tried to convince him that he could get just as good a workout if he transformed into Chat Noir. With his current level of exhaustion, it didn't seem a good idea, quite frankly the thought of Chat Noir being found unconscious upon the Eiffel Tower wasn't appealing. Besides it wasn't like he was he needed anymore. Random akuma attacks had ceased with Hawkmoth's capture, further confirming Gabriel's guilt. So, if Adrien wanted to keep his body primed and toned, he had to do it within a strict fitness regime.

"She seems awfully interested in your arms."

A smile quirked at Adrien's lips from Plagg's comment. There was a reason he was climbing in a loose singlet top and shorts. While he didn't want to talk to Ladybug, he was happy to have her attention. Showing off a little skin to the girl watching him was indeed premeditated. Ladybug had never expressed much interest in him as Chat Noir but there had been times that her eyes had lingered on him longer than necessary. She could deny it all she liked but Ladybug had checked out Chat Noir more than once.

Not that it stopped her from constantly rejecting his advances. Yet another reason which prevented him from transforming into his alter ego. If she didn't want him when his identity was a mystery, what would possibly make her want him when she discovered who he really was? The answer, nothing. Adrien Agreste was damaged goods. While she'd said some complimentary things to him after that first press conference, out of the suit, she'd looked at him differently.

There was no way for Ladybug to know that she had been talking to an unmasked Chat Noir but the pity in her eyes said it all. Poor blind Adrien Agreste. What a fool. Completely oblivious to the monster living in the same house, a monster he shared DNA with, perhaps the same wrathful monster lurked within him. He shook his head, flinging droplets of sweat from the tips of his hair poking out under the bandana. He didn't want to think about it. He needed to focus on the now.

Clenching his jaw, he glared at the next handhold and sprung towards it, his fingers brushing the grainy exterior and missing. He dropped heavily before his feet found leverage, his left hand snagging a larger grip to stop his fall. A flash of red was at his window, for a moment he thought the knot of his bandana had come undone, but no, Ladybug had crossed the divide and was hanging onto the window supports moving frantically.

Adrien flexed his right hand, his silver ring had twisted around to the side, but it was the sting of abraded skin that held his attention. A flash of memory struck him, looking at the blood-soaked fingertips of his black gloves. Phantom pain shot down his back as he recalled the moment he returned from his brief blackout. He was lying amongst the rubble of the smashed walls he'd been thrown through. His staff was strewn across one knee and lay diagonally across his opposite ankle.

Chat Noir could hear the grunts of both Ladybug and Hawkmoth as they faced off. Ignoring the protests of his battered body, the superhero had snatched up his staff and dashed back to the fight. He was leaping through the final smashed wall when his nostrils flared in panic. Hawkmoth held his sword in two hands high above his head, swinging down with immense force directly at his partner's skull.

Ladybug's spinning yoyo wasn't going to be able to protect her from such a blow. His feet were in motion, his heart pounding. Chat Noir's purpose was to protect his partner, but that wasn't the only reason that he rushed in with astonishing speed. He needed to save the woman he loved.

There was no room for him to manoeuvre into the space between them. Instead Chat Noir adjusted his shoulder and knocked Ladybug to the side. He was faintly away of the rattled noise his partner made at his unexpected shove. All his attention needed to be on Hawkmoth. His eyes locked on his foe as he wielded his staff in both hands to counter the falling blade. It hit with such force he could feel the reverberations as the weapons collided. The strain was making his arms tremble as the sword skidded along the surface of his staff.

Too late did he realise the trajectory of the blade, milliseconds gave him a tiny chance of turning his head but it didn't prevent the blade from slicing his right cheek. He'd closed his eyes as the blade threatened to slash higher, however the sturdiness of his mask had prevented the strike from taking his eye. Behind him, Ladybug had screamed out his name.

The past faded as he continued to stare at his fingers, now shaking but no longer gloved in black. His first impulse was to seek out his partner, to know that she was alright. Adrien's head snapped up and his gaze met with the one staring at him from outside the window. There was such pleading in Ladybug's eyes that it almost tore a sob from his throat. Part of him began to cave but self-preservation set in. He knew she wanted to explain what happened, believing that he wasn't aware the whole story. Little did she know that he relived snippets of it every day, replaying over and over to torture him.

Somehow, he forced himself to smile. It was the sort he exhibited for a photoshoot, pleasing to the eye but a complete forgery. Everyone thought him oblivious, and right now he played on that. Giving Ladybug a thumbs-up as if he thought she was only concerned about his fall. Turning away, Adrien resumed his ascent, hoping to forget.

But it seemed he wasn't destined to finish his climb. He was almost to the top when his phone rang, the ringtone indicating it was Nino calling. If Ladybug wasn't present he would have asked Plagg to bring the phone over, but that wasn't wise given her already clingy behaviour. Instead he reached for the zipline, zoomed across the room then slid down the fireman pole. Again, he resisted the temptation to spiral around it in a very Chat Noir fashion.

Snagging the phone from his computer desk, Adrien managed to answer before it went to voicemail. "Hey."

"Dude, I was starting to think you'd gone AWOL again."

Guilt settled low in his stomach. "Nope, I'm home. The Monaco photoshoot is in three days."

"Man, and I thought your schedule was crazy before."

Adrien sagged into his desk chair, turning away from the window. "Yeah, well I've got back-to-back meetings in the lead up. Nathalie is like a drill sergeant, no rest for the wicked."

"Isn't it supposed to be you running the business?"

"Technically it is, but I need to lean on her. I don't have the experience remember. I'm just a pretty face in front of the camera."

"That's bullcrap bro and you know it."

"So, why are you calling?"

"I'm about to jump online to shoot up some zombies and stuff. Thought you might want to blow off some steam?"

The corner of Adrien's mouth curled upward. "I have literally been climbing the walls."

"Come on, dude. I know you want to."

The model tugged off his bandana, tossing it onto the desk as he ran a hand through his sweaty hair. "Can't, I've got to cut some laps in the pool first. Unfortunately, the body of model doesn't stay in shape by playing video games."

"Missing it once won't kill you."

"No, I suppose it won't. Okay Nino, but only for an hour." Adrien glanced over his shoulder at the window and a pang of disappointment hit him, Ladybug was gone.

The following afternoon, Adrien sat hunched in the back seat of his ride and loosened his tie. Sales figures had slumped, the Gabriel brand was suffering due to his father's trial. The new launch wasn't due for another couple of weeks and suppliers were giving excuses about delays. Plus, he was supposed to be flying out for a meeting before the photoshoot in Monaco and was expected to juggle all the regular office day to day drama.

Nathalie sat beside him, prattling on about the following day's schedule. It took everything he had to stop his eyes from rolling back in his head. Gaming had been a bad idea. He needed sleep, lots and lots of sleep.

"… you'll need to finalise numbers and then I can place the order."

Adrien just nodded. "Thanks Nathalie. Can we go over this again in the morning? I think my mind is in meltdown."

"Very well, sir. But you'll need to get up half an hour earlier so we stick to time."

"Right, okay." Pulling into the driveway, Adrien peered up at the monstrosity that was his home. The place was far too big for one person. Heck, it had been too big when it had been just him and his father.

"And lastly your friend Marinette will be over to visit you at 8pm."

The blonde paused as he reached to undo his seatbelt. "Marinette's coming over?"

"Yes, I ran it passed you a week ago."

He nodded, not wanting to admit that the days were starting to blur together. "Uh, yeah I remember now." Nope, no inkling at all.

Running on empty, Adrien slipped into his evening routine as if pre-programmed. His fists hit the punching bag with a steady rhythm and he crisscrossed a few jabs before he got serious. Using his imagination, he envisioned a number of attack moves he'd applied in the past and put them into motion. As tired as he was, the punching bag was a way to relieve his tension and frustration, night after night. He lost track of time as he pummelled the bag, his arms heavy from so many hits. His phone pinged a reminder, now it was time for the cooldown in the lap pool.

As much as he hated to admit it, Plagg had been right about the insanity of his schedule. His world had narrowed to a repeat of tasks that he couldn't escape. He should have taken up the kwami's offer of galivanting around as Chat Noir before all this. Maybe he should have let Ladybug in last night and shown her just who it was she was really watching.

With a shake of his head, he caught the punching bag that was swaying. His arms wrapped around the cool leather as his forehead dropped against it. Adrien was glad he was home alone, no one was there to witness him hugging an inanimate object. A sardonic snort left him as he realised it was like hugging his father.

The person he really wanted to hold flashed into his mind and his arms tightened on the punching bag as he sighed. As much as he longed to embrace Ladybug it was a luxury he couldn't afford. For the immediate future he was chained to a business he didn't want.

The one bright side was that his father had planned so far ahead with his brand, but he hadn't the foresight to consider what would happen if Hawkmoth got caught. Adrien needed to find an angle his father had missed. He needed a new strategy if he was going to keep the Gabriel brand profitable. Right now, he needed to stop thinking about work and focus on the physical.

Let's hope Adrien remembers that Marinette is coming over, the poor guy has far too much going on right now.

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