Chapter Four: Ride

I sit on the porch, arms braced on my knees. I don't know why I picked up the phone, in hindsight I wish I could take it back. I guess, I just got lonely; finding myself unable to sleep, laying for hours in bed while staring up at the ceiling, rolling my Dad's words over and over in my head.

He wasn't happy with me, which I expected. Luann moved quick, being sure to tell him how difficult I've been since coming home, and I can't blame him. After all there isn't much he can do from where he is, and to quote him 'enough is enough with the bitching and swiping at each other.' I've always hated upsetting him.

With a shake of my head I hear the heavy footsteps coming up the driveway.

"Hey," Kozik's voice is light as he approaches, hands sliding into his pockets.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have called…"

"It's no problem," he says settling beside me, "what's going on?"

"It's…nothing. I just couldn't sleep," I offer weakly and because his sudden closeness makes me want to cross physical boundaries I have firmly placed for myself I get to my feet to pace the little walkway in front of the porch. "You've been around about a week now, and in that time you've seen the way things are with Luann and I, like you said, heavy shit. Well, Dad wasn't shy about chewing me out for my part in it, and he isn't wrong, there's just something about her…we just…." I move my shoulders involuntarily as I can't find the words to describe just what Luann and I are. Dropping down beside him I put my head in my hands. "I am officially an idiot. Here I am blathering on about a little mother daughter conflict…God I need to get out of Charming,"

"Do you want to go for a ride?" he asks suddenly breaking up my thoughts and lifting my face I study him. He's on his feet now a hand stretched out to me and taking a deep breath I take his hand.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

-Kozik-

It takes an immense amount of willpower for him to concentrate on the road and not allow his mind to linger too much on the feel of Gracie's arms wrapped tightly around him, her hands bunching on the shirt under his cut every time he takes a curve or turn or the way her chest presses against his back. She's an excellent rider. Doesn't surprise him considering who she grew up around, but somehow he didn't anticipate that having her on the back of his bike would feel this good.

He doesn't really know where they're going, he's just enjoying the ride, and before too long he's taking the bike up winding paths into the hills and when he's figured they've gone far enough he pulls over at a scenic overlook. She lingers for a bit, her hands sliding slowly from around him and when she climbs from the bike her legs waver, just a little.

"It's been a while since I've been on a decent ride," Gracie says pulling the helmet from her head giving a quick shake to her long hair making the muscles in his stomach clench. If it were anyone else, he would have made a move by now, but Gracie isn't anyone else. She smiles holding the helmet out and once her hands are freed she circles away going to stand at the rail, her hands curling around it as she stares out at the valley below.

"I never really thought I'd come back," her voice is soft as he moves to stand beside her. "It isn't that I don't like Charming. It's home. It will always be home, but once I was gone I thought that was it. I swore that it was. Luann and I have nothing, save for DNA, in common, and while I love the club and the family I have because of it, I really thought I was getting away for good."

"Is it really all that bad here?" he can't help but ask that question. He doesn't just want to know, he needs to know, if the girl he can't seem to shake from his mind is planning on leaving anytime soon, because if she is, well that just might pose quite the issue.

"It's Charming. The name says it all," she says but he catches the sarcasm dripping from her words. She boosts herself up to sit on the railing, legs swinging carelessly as she looks at him, and he sees it, the shift in her eyes as she takes a deep breath and starts talking again. "When I was fourteen I went to this kickback that a friend of a friend was having. It was just an excuse for us to get together and sneak cheap wine coolers and shitty weed, anyways, I'm about four strawberry Seagrams' deep which was pairing nicely with that shitty weed I mentioned earlier, when that friend of a friend starts hitting one. I didn't mind it. He was cute, and older, I mean he was fifteen and a half, had his drivers permit and everything, but really the draw was that he was so different from the other guys I was used to. So I played right into him."

His jaw clenches from fear of where this little story might be going, but he keeps his mouth shut, waiting in the heavy silence for her to continue.

"We were getting pretty hot and heavy when he said something about Luann, something along the lines of how he just knew I'd do it like my Mom. I was blown away. I remember shoving him off of him and demanding to know just what the fuck he was talking about. You see as far as I knew my Mom worked TM with Gemma because she was there when I went to school every morning and there when I came home from school. I found out that my Mom sucked cock for a living amongst many other things, from the guy I almost lost my virginity too. Of course I asked Luann about it and she was honest, and I was okay; I was okay when she told me everything, told me why my Dad really went away, told me how long she had been in her line of work, I was more than okay when she promised she worked solely behind the cameras."

"So what caused the, rift…" he pushes, he can't help it. Something inside of him tells him he needs to understand this particular hurt.

"We didn't live in the shiny bubble anymore. When she started missing things, for her work, for her girls, I became bitter. How could I not? It wasn't because I didn't understand that she had to work, after all raising a teenage daughter alone isn't easy, and far from cheap, but I just kept feeling systematically replaced. She showed more concern over the girls at the studio then she ever did for me, but I swallowed it, and kept swallowing it, but the breaking point came on my sixteenth birthday. I didn't want a big party, I was never about that, not for myself, so Gemma and Luann put together a family dinner. I have always loved family dinner. Everyone was there, the guys, old ladies…but Luann, Luann was nowhere in sight. Long shoot you see, it just couldn't wait. That was the moment I decided I was going to run as fast and as far as I possibly could, that I was not going to become her."

::Gracie::

I don't know why I chose now of all times to suddenly start spilling long buried secrets to Kozik. Maybe it was the ride, or the fresh air, or just simple need. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that no other man has ever made me want to spell out the shit between me and Luann.

"What about now?" Kozik asks as he braces his forearms against the railing looking over at me.

"Now," I murmur, "I'm not so sure I want to keep running."

-XX-

I'm half asleep when Kozik pulls into Nana's driveway, and even with the bike turned off, I hold on a little longer, finding his warmth not only inviting but comforting. His hand covers mine giving a gentle squeeze before helping me off the bike. My hands instinctively come up to grip his cut as I sway, and giving a soft chuckle he unclips the helmet, pulling it from my head. I'm surprised by the tenderness when he smooths his hands over my hair.

The pulse quickens in my throat as I lift my eyes to his face, my gaze drifting to settle on his lips.

"I should go," he says the words but his tone is anything but sincere.

"I know," my grip tightens just enough on his leather to pull him closer. His lips are soft, but his taste explodes on my tongue fraying my nerves until all I'm aware of is the feel of his fingers sinking into my hair, sliding to cup the back of my head, coaxing me to sink deeper, and just when I'm about to the sound of someone clearing their throat from behind me has me going completely still.

"Well, are you two going to stand out here kissing all morning, or you going to come in for breakfast?" Nana asks a hint of amusement in her voice as she stares at us and I can't help the blush that creeps into my cheeks and turning to look back at Kozik I lift my shoulders and let them fall.

"Might as well come in Koz," I say linking my hand and his, "besides, Nana makes the best French toast."