Chapter Five: Demons
I press my fingers to my lips as I watch Kozik ride away, they feel bruised, but in the best possible way as the taste of coffee and syrup lingers on them from his kiss, and unable to stop the smile from forming I turn only to stop short when I see Nana standing behind me. A mischievous gleam twinkles in her eyes as she stares at me and I feel the embarrassment start sinking in.
"What?" I demand and in answer she lifts a shoulder at me.
"He's a good boy Grace-Ann," Nana says with a grin, "just never thought I'd see the day that you paired up with a Son."
"I'm not paired up with a Son," my halfhearted denial much to my dismay just makes her laugh more and because I don't have the time to argue with her I go inside and leave her to her laughter.
-Kozik-
He doesn't know what he's doing here, or why he's staying. If he was a smart man he'd cut his losses as far as getting the transfer to Charming, and go back to Tacoma. He's getting too old to deal with petty bullshit, and definitely getting to old to fight with Tig every time he turns around. He presses a balled up shirt against his eye and shakes his head.
Fucking Tig.
"That was some fight," Jax says coming to stand beside him and with half a laugh Kozik spits a mouthful of blood onto the pavement. "What set Tig off anyways?"
"It's old, bad blood between us, Jax, you know that," Kozik answers, and it's not exactly a lie, more of an omission, but because even that makes him feel guilty he shifts his eyes to the VP and decides that he might as well be the one to tell him before loud mouth Trager has a chance. "Tiggy's a little upset that I was with Gracie all night…"
"No shit, you and Gracie?" Jax's words roll out in a chuckle and seeing the seriousness on Kozik's face the smile quickly fades. "Oh man, you're not kidding huh?"
"Let me guess you want to hit me too," Kozik says truly baffled by his friend's reaction.
"No, it's just…that's a bag of crazy I'm not sure you're ready for man," Jax says as he pulls out a cigarette. "Look, I love Gracie, she might as well be my sister, but she has demons."
"We all have fucking demons Jax."
"True, but Gracie's, they run deep. Just, be careful, not just with her, but with yourself." Kozik watches as Jax walks away shaking his head and he can't help but feel the ring of warning in his friend's words down to the bone.
He'd be lying if he said it didn't bother him that there has been no word from Gracie since the last time he saw her which if he remembers right was ten days ago, and there has been nothing. Not a text. Not a call. Not even a whisper of her presence in TM. Last he heard she's been practically living at Opie's, helping with well everything.
And the lack of communication is driving him fucking crazy.
He watches as crow-eaters and sweet butts work preparing TM for Bobby's coming home party, and though he's heard whisperings of issues going on behind the scenes, he's technically on the outside of it all. He wears the patch, that's true enough, but he might as well be a stranger the way Tig is determined on keeping him on the outs. So he just sits back, watches, and grows more and more impatient.
"You should just call her," Gemma's voice startles him from his thoughts and turning he fives a smile to his face, but he knows better than to try and hide anything from Samcro's Matriarch. "You know who I'm talking about. No need to deny it either Herman. Call the girl. She's been buried up to her eyeballs in laundry and homework at Ope's, she could use a night out. Ask her to come to Bobby's party tonight."
Waiting for no response Gemma walks away leaving Kozik to his thoughts.
::Gracie::
'Bobby's welcome home party is tonight, are you coming?' I read Kozik's text over and over again trying to decide how to answer. The words aren't particularly sweet and thinking about it honestly I don't know that I want to answer. It's been ten days, not that I've been keeping count, but it has been ten days since we went on the ride together, since breakfast with Nana, and this is the first thing he sends. I figured Nana scared him off; was kind of relieved by the idea of it being nothing because if it's nothing then I can just swallow whatever feelings I have swirling around inside of me, and it's one less thing to keep me tied to this place.
And yet I can't stop the stupid smile that pulls at my lips.
'I was thinking about it.' I tap out the reply before turning my attention back to cooking dinner for Ellie and Kenny.
'Need a ride?' His response is quick.
I know I should say no. If I take my own car I don't have a reason to stay long. I can just run in, say hi to Uncle Bobby, welcome him home, and get the hell out. I should say no. I should say no. I should say no.
'A ride would be nice. I'll be ready at 9.'
XX
9:45
The glow of the living room clock makes me shake my head. This is what happens when I get too excited. It's been kind of a running theme in my life. My hopes raise, and then bam, something happens and things change. So I really shouldn't have expected anything different when it came to this. I press to my feet snatching my purse and digging through I find my keys.
"I'm leaving Nana, love you. Don't wait up!" I shut the door behind me before she can respond.
XX
Noise pours out of TM as I park my car near the long line of cars, and leaving my purse on the front seat I make my way inside. Smoke is thick as it clings in the air, the smell of booze and sex permeating above it. I smile at the few hellos' I get as I turn my head in search of Kozik and when no sight of him is to be found, I find myself clasped in tight arms.
"Gracie!" Bobby's words are slurred as he presses a kiss to my cheek. "I'm so happy to see you darlin', tell me you're going to sing for me!"
"I'm so happy to see you too Uncle Bobby, as for singing, probably not tonight. You're far too drunk to even remember if I do," I say laughing when he stumbles back to the gaggle of girls who beckon to him.
"Gracie! Hey baby," Tig calls for me from across the bar and smiling I make my way to him.
"Tiggy, have you seen Kozik?" I ask pitching my voice over the crowd as I settle down beside him. He wraps an arm around me shaking his messy hair.
"Sorry baby, I think he's a little preoccupied," his words roll over me as he lifts his beer bottle to point to a darkened corner, and there Kozik stands, a slip of a girl caged in by his arms as he whispers something in her ear that makes her laugh.
"I-I'll see you later Tig." I press through the crowd ignoring the way Tig calls my name. I'm not about making a scene. I always hated when a crow-eater or sweet butt caused drama in the club so I absolutely refuse to do it. Instead I plaster a smile to my face, and get out as quick as I can.
My body shakes as I walk to my car. The need to break down bubbles inside of me but I push it down as hard as I can, trying to ignore it, but as I reach for the door handle someone takes a hold of my arm turning me around. Kozik stands in front of me a look of confusion on his face.
"Hey, where are you going?" Kozik seems genuinely confused by my quick exit.
"Home."
"You didn't even say hello," he says and because I can't believe that he is actually going to
"You seemed to have your hands full," I say watching the realization drift into his eyes.
"Oh come on, that was nothing Gracie. A little flirting, that's all," he laughs but the humor quickly fades from his face when I pull my arm out of his hold.
"And you were so busy with that little flirting that you forgot to come and get me."
"What are you talking about? Chibs said that you would be driving yourself since Mary was going to be late getting to Ope's," his words trail off and I'm confused by what he's saying and when his jaw clenches fists bunching by his side, I manage to see through the haze of my anger, noticing the blooming bruises on his face. "That son of a bitch. You didn't call Chibs did you?"
"What the hell happened to you?" I ask, and when he just shakes his head pulling the door open on my SUV for me all I do is stare at him. "Let's get out of here, and I'll tell you all about it."
XX
Kozik's words roll around in my head as I snap the hair tie nervously around my wrist. It seems that Tig has been trying to scare him off, sure it's under the guise of having my best interest at heart, but a part of me wonders what all he's told Kozik about me. I can't bring myself to look at him. So instead I press my fingers to the steering wheel, tracing patterns on the leather.
"Why would Tig be so adamant about you staying away from me?" I wonder and shaking his head he reaches for me, his hand resting over mine.
"Tig isn't exactly my number one fan…" he says and I laugh, a hollow sound even to my ears.
"Did he tell you anything about me?" I ask trying to keep my voice as steady as I can.
"No. It was all about me. I don't deserve a girl like you. I need to go back to Tacoma. Same old same old with dear old Tiggy. Jax made a comment in passing, but…"
"What did Jax say?" I ask seriously wondering how this could possibly get any worse.
"That you have demons. Demons that run deep…"
"Who fucking doesn't?" I demand and with his answering laughter I feel myself starting to relax. "Listen, Koz…"
"Stop. I'm not going to ask you to rip yourself open for me Gracie. If there comes a time when you need or want to talk to me about whatever demons it is that you wrestle with on the inside, it's going to be because I earned the right, not because you feel backed in a corner by other people. I'm not going anywhere." His words are some of the sincerest that I've ever heard, certainly the sincerest I've ever heard from the mouth of a Son, and I don't know why, but that scares the shit out of me.