Author's Note: The first thing I want to do is thank each and every person who has read this story so far, thanks to those who have dropped a favorite for me, and a super special thanks to beth626, Jianali, and emmalock93 for the reviews! Seriously, they made my day.
I wanted to say that I am working hard at updating as consistently as I can, but sometimes real life does get in the way, so for those who stick with me through this crazy ride, a huge thank you in advance.
As always, Read-Enjoy-Review if you feel moved to do so.
Much love and squishy hugs,
Emmy
PS Find me on tumblr as callmemrskozik (there you will find imagines, short stories, and other goodies)
PSS I don't own SOA, this is purely for entertainment purposes. Gracie however is all mine.
Chapter Six: The Ones You Love
"For the millionth time Koz, I told you I'm fine," I say watching the way he grips the steering wheel of my SUV. "I could have driven myself in."
"You passed the fuck out Gracie and managed to take the shower door with you, there is no way you could have driven yourself," Kozik says his voice just above a growl as he looks at you from the corner of his eye, "and get your arm up, you're bleeding all over your seat."
"Nana shouldn't have called you," I mutter lifting my arm up. I shake my head as he lets out a steady stream of curses under his breath. "Sometimes I pass out, it just, happens."
"People don't just pass out Grace-Ann," he says pulling into St. Thomas and as I go to take my seat belt off he glances at me.
"Where are you going?" he asks pulling the keys from the ignition.
"To the moon," I reply unable to hide the smile when he narrows his eyes at me. "Where do you think I'm going; I need to get inside if I want them to look at this don't I?"
"I'll get you a wheelchair," he says to which my eyes widen and I shake my head masking the fast that when I do it just worsens the dizziness.
"You most certainly will not," I say pushing open the door and in the time it takes me to reach for my purse and turn my body Kozik is standing beside me blocking my way out.
"We can do this one of two ways Grace-Ann. I can go, get a wheelchair, and roll you into St. Thomas with some dignity, or, I can toss you over my shoulder and carry you in that way," he says and I can't help the bubble of laughter that slips from my lips.
"You wouldn't dare," I say watching as he leans into the car, his lips a breath from mine, my mouth growing dry as I fight the urge to close the distance between us.
"Want to bet?" his question hangs in the air until I finally concede.
"Fine, get the damn wheelchair," the words are no more out of my mouth before he presses a quick kiss to my lips before sauntering off to the emergency room doors. My eyes are trained on the hospital entrance when I hear a familiar voice ring through the air.
"Just hold your head back sweetie," Luann says and turning I see her walking a tall blonde towards the doors that Kozik just disappeared behind.
"Luann?" I murmur, and because the curiosity gets the best of me I slide out of my SUV, closing the door behind me. "Luann!" I call to her and she turns her head quickly and when she sees me her eyes cloud with confusion even as she opens her mouth to say something but Kozik reappearing with the wheelchair stops her short.
"I thought I told you to stay in the car," he snaps as he pushes the chair towards me, and because I don't know what to say, Luann and I just stare at each other for another moment before she turns back to the leggy blonde helping her inside. "Was that your Mom?"
"Yeah," I murmur trying to ignore the sudden wave of emotion that comes over me.
::
"It's a pretty nasty cut, probably take about 18 sutures to close it up nicely," the doctor murmurs, "I saw from your chart that you've had this passing out issue since you were in elementary school."
"Mhm, vasovagal syncope," I say my eyes trained to Kozik who stands against the counter across from me, "it's been a while since I've had an episode though."
"How long?" he asks and closing my eyes I search my memory.
"Four years. Freshman year finals at Stanford shot my nerves to hell and my diet suffered," I say.
"That will definitely do it. What about now, any stressors?" he asks and I laugh letting my head fall back to stare at the ceiling.
"You could say that," I answer truthfully seeing no use in lying.
"Well, since this is the first episode in such a long time, I'd suggest just increasing your sodium intake and seeing if that helps, and avoiding whatever is stressing you out too," he says to which I roll my eyes.
"I'll try my best Doc," I lie, knowing full well that my biggest stressor is somewhere nearby, mothering someone else.
::
"Who the hell do you think you're talking too?" Jax's voice carries through the hall as Kozik and I turn the corner, and stopping I watch the scene that's unfolding in front of me. "Get her patched up, call the rest of your talent, tell them to lock their goddamn doors."
As Jax swings away he notices me and Kozik, his eyes flickering between the two of us.
"Get her home then get to TM," says to Kozik before turning back to Chibs and the two walk away together.
I stand waiting to see if Luann will look at me but her eyes never leave the pretty blonde watching the way she treats the girl next to her, my resolve starts breaking, as I realize that even if Luann and I were to come to some sort of understanding, she would never be the one I could count on for comfort when my world spins out of control.
"Gracie," Kozik's voice is soft as he lays his hand on my lower back and swallowing thickly I let him lead me away.
-Kozik-
His back is pressed against the bar as he stares at the doors of the church, and lifting the shot glass to his lips he quickly drains it without so much as a wince before slapping it back down onto the shining wood surface.
"Another?" a prospect whose name he's forgotten asks holding up the bottle of whisky and nodding he turns his attention back to the thick doors. He feels so separated, sitting on the outside, of course it was at Tig's insistence that he not come in, considering he hasn't transferred yet, and if Tig has his way, he never will.
The frustration over his given situation is mounting, and even if he can only admit it to himself, the only bright spot of the whole thing is Gracie. His mind automatically shifts to her, thinking of the way she sat biting her lip so she wouldn't cry while she got fixed up, she bit her lip the whole time he drove her home too. Only he knew that the tears she was masking then were solely from seeing her Mom being a Mom to someone else.
His thoughts are broken up when the doors swung open and the guys poured out.
"Hey, got a minute?" Jax asks and without waiting for a reply he motions for Kozik to follow him outside, and he doesn't know why, but Kozik has a feeling he isn't going to like what's about to happen.
::
Nope, he didn't like it. He hated it. He hated it with every fiber of his being. Why does he have to be the one to tell Gracie? He told Jax Gracie would hate it; and Jax in his infinite wisdom told him in no uncertain terms that if he wanted to stay in Charming, stay chasing after Gracie, then he would find a way to make her come to terms with it.
And it's because he wants to do both of those things, very much, he finds himself waiting for her at the end of her Nana's driveway. He knows they can't ride far given her bad arm but he needs some privacy to give her this news.
"Hey," Gracie calls out, her voice breaking up his thoughts, and then she's hugging him, her face pressing into his shoulder, and he knows that no matter what comes, he wants this, he wants, her.
::
Her face is perfectly blank, no flicker of emotion flashing to show him how she's taking the news. She just stares until finally, just when he thinks the silence is going to make him jump out of his skin, she starts to speak.
"So. SAMCRO is getting in the porn business," Gracie's words are slow but the tone tells him that she's saying them so she can comprehend what they mean.
"That's what it looks like. Feds raided Luann yesterday morning, sent her girls scattering," he says immediately wincing at his choice of words, and when she just looks at him and gives a nod for him to continue he does. "The girl we saw her with at St. Thomas this morning, is one of hers who got roughed up by a rival studio."
"Who knew the porn business was so cutthroat," she says shaking her head, "the girl who was with Luann, she okay?"
"Jax didn't say," he says covering her hands with his when he notices the way they fiddle nervously in her lap.
"Well, if she's anything like Luann, it'll take more than a face shot to bring her down…"
::Gracie::
"Wait, I don't understand," I say into the phone as I rub at my temple trying to will away the headache that's brewing there. "What do you mean my loans have been paid off? I just started the payment plan three months ago."
"I see that Miss. Delaney, but from our records it shows that your loans were paid off two days ago," the bubbly voice on the other side of the line tells me.
"Is there any way you could tell me who paid them?" I ask tapping my pen against the tabletop.
"The name on the invoice is Luann Delaney," the woman says and on an oath I close my eyes swallowing the stream of curses I want to scream at the top of my lungs at this very moment.
"Thank you," I say hanging up and then I'm scribbling a note for Nana before snagging my purse. It's time I pay mommy dearest a visit at work.
::
The scene I walk in on in CaraCara is chaotic to say the least, which is how I've found myself in the office with Bobby. His glasses sit low on his nose as he riffles through the stacks of papers in front of him.
"She doesn't seem too thrilled about you being here," I say from my spot at the door.
"I could say the same about you," Bobby says and I shoot him a smile over my shoulder. "Things still rough between you and your Ma I see."
"You don't know the half of it," I murmur and because I'm tired of watching her I turn to talk to Bobby. He's always been a good sounding board, our connection running deep thanks to our shared love of music. "Can I ask you something?"
"You know you can sweet girl," he says setting the papers aside, pulling the glasses from his face a show of giving me his undivided attention. I close the door before settling across from him, resting my arms on the desk and clasping my hands tightly together.
"Why would Luann pay off my student loans?" and my question is met with a loud bark of laughter which just confuses me.
"You really don't know do you?" he asks leaning forward to rest his hands over mine, and when I shake my head he smiles. "You're her daughter Grace-Ann; it doesn't matter how much the two of you might butt heads, she loves you, and maybe paying off the loans was the only way she knew how to show it."
"She doesn't love me Bobby…" I murmur shaking my head, "it's like…somewhere along the way she just forgot how to, and so did I."
"Oh she loves you darlin,' and you love her," he says giving my hand a gentle squeeze, "only someone you love can hurt you as much as she hurts you, and vice versa."
Walking out of the office I find Luann standing with her hands on her hips, giving directions for a scene, and when she notices me she calls out that the girls can take a break. I recognize one of them as the girl she was with at St. Thomas the day before, and she offers me a smile I can't quiet bring myself to return.
"Do you have a minute?" I ask, and with a silent nod she steps away from the group. "I uh, I just wanted to thank you. I talked to my loan officer today and she informed me that you paid off my balance." Something inside of me wants to close the distance and hug her but I can't bring myself to do it after all one act of kindness just doesn't suddenly make right all the wrongs between us. "I'll let you get back to your girls."
I'm halfway to the door when she calls out to me.
"Grace-Ann, there's a party tonight, celebrating the new partnership between SAMCRO and CaraCara, you should come," she says offering a soft smile, "I'd like to see you there."