Miltank and Tauros

Visitors to the Moo Moo Ranch were normally humans: Trainers and children curious about farm Pokemon or merchants who sought to buy dairy or beef products. Today's visitor was quite different, though. He was an odd Pokemon of dark pink and lavender, bipedal with thick tail, waist, and legs, but a slender chest and arms. His head was distinctly feline with almost human features. "My name is Mewtwo," he told the group of Miltanks.

"Oh, delighted to meet you, Mewtwo," one of the Miltanks replied, with a broad smile. "You don't seem like a local."

"I'm not. I was born in South America."

"What region is that?" another asked, tilting her head and making her neck bell jingle.

"A distant region." He looked over the group. They were all females, plump and full of giggles. He doubted anything of worth would come from this meeting, but might as well try. "I came to talk with you."

They giggled, of course. "How sweet of you. Would you care for some milk?" She pulled out a glass bottle with a blue label, clearly marking it as Moo Moo Milk.

Mewtwo took it, if only because it didn't seem safe for her to be holding a glass bottle between her front hooves. "How do you materialize this glass?"

"Oh no, we can't go telling our methods," another said, causing another burst of giggles. "We have secret knowledge of the cream."

"Right, very secret," a third added. "Calci-mum's the word."

"We heard it from the herd, but can't let it go heard."

"Go on and keep the milk and bottle. There's plenty to go around the pasture."

And several regions, he thought. He sniffed at it, then took a sip. It was thick and warm with a good amount of sweetness. Over his travels, he had heard that a Miltank's milk would keep a long time, but was at its peak fresh. This confirmed that; the older milk wasn't bad, but definitely had lost a fair amount of taste.

"What exactly are you traveling for, Mewtwo?" a Miltank asked in a friendly tone. "Looking for new sights?"

"Just listening and learning from others," he replied. "I'm the most powerful psychic in the world, so I thought I knew everything. But some of the," he frowned for a moment, "elder legends keep telling me that I'm missing something. I think they've got it all wrong, but just in case I am, I'm looking."

"Neat, a psychic!" a young Miltank said. "What number am I thinking of?"

Absolutely menial task, Mewtwo thought. "Two percent, as in one of the processed milk drinks they make here."

"Ooo, nice. That's exactly what I was thinking of."

He teleported onto a fencepost, making a couple of the Miltanks gasp. "Do you girls just think about milk all day long?"

"Mostly," the young one replied.

"But we also have to consider where the grass is best," another added. "Or what the weather is like, or what the farmers are doing, or which pasture we'll be in..."

"Or who's expecting," another piped in, to the laughter of others.

"You be careful up there," the one nearest to him said. "Those wires are electri-culted."

He twitched his tail, daring to miss the electric fence. "I know. But don't you consider life? Don't you wonder what is beyond the fence line? Do you ever wonder why you have to stay in this pasture, serving humans?"

"Hmm."

"Not really, I guess," the young one said. "Should we? I'm happy here in the pasture."

"That's right," another approved. "The farmers take care of us, we don't have to worry about anything, and there's always something to be happy about even on rainy days. So no, why wonder when there's nothing serious to wonder about?"

"I sometimes wonder if Ferdinand likes me," one said wistfully, causing squeals of delight among her peers.

"Oh yes, that is the thing to wonder about."

"He's quite strong; we have nothing to fear with Ferdinand around."

Mewtwo looked at the ground, trying not to scowl. "Tis little wonder why we Pokemon still serve humans, what with this kind of thinking going on. How shall the battles of revolution happen when the others are satisfied with menial and meaningless lives?"

His musing caused some puzzlement among his audience of Miltanks. One of the older ones advised, "Oh, if you want to talk of battles, we're not much into those. But you could talk to the Tauros herd on this farm. What pasture are they in today?"

"I think the next one over. Not that one there, but the one beyond it."

"I see. Maybe I will go speak with them." He teleported to the next fence line.

The Tauros herd was scattered about the pasture, unlike the Miltank herd. To the north, a pair were charging at each other with their heads lowered. Several others were just eating. One was observing a large rock in the middle of the pasture.

Mewtwo teleported to the top of the rock. "Excuse me."

The watchful one whipped his three tails around, then charged at the rock. Mewtwo teleported off before the Tauros hit the rock with a loud smack, and then stumbled back in a daze. For a moment, he reconsidered speaking with this Pokemon. Surely he, and his peers, had brain damage if their form of entertainment was rushing headlong into each other, rocks, trees, and whatever else happened to be in the way.

But he would try. "May we talk?"

"Huh?" The Tauros blinked at him. "Whaddya need permission to talk for?"

"I'm just being polite."

"Phfft, whatever." He shook his head.

"Why would you bash your head into that rock? There could be long-term damage done."

"Well that rock's in the way. It has to go." The Tauros stomped his foot and shook his head. "We are Pokemon of raaaage here! We raaaage about anything. If it's sunny, we get mad because it's too bright. If it's snowy, we get mad because it's too cold. If it's raining, we get mad because it's too wet. If there's anything worth complaining about, we'll get enraaaaged over it!" He snorted triumphantly.

This was... almost promising. Mewtwo felt disappointed that this was yet another dim mind, but the rage could be useful. "What about being stuck in this pasture?"

"That? That's not much to rage over. See, there's this rock."

"But you just said that it was in the way."

"I know, but other pastures don't have rocks, and we knocked over all the trees a long time ago, so there's nothing to work the raaaage against." He bellowed the word 'rage', but spoke everything else calmly. "Which is enough to get enraaaaged over, but then all you can do is butt heads against a buddy, and that'll get you knocked out faster."

"That doesn't make much sense."

"Does too. What are you, some sort of nitpicky smarty-pants?"

"Then what about the fact that you're going to get killed someday so the humans can eat you?'

"That's a good thing."

Mewtwo tried not to let his jaw drop. "A... good thing?"

The Tauros nodded. "Yeah. See, we're gonna get eaten by something someday at any rate. We could be out free, but then get eaten by something that prefers to hunt us down, beat us dead, and then tear out our guts and leave the rest for scavengers. Or, we could stay here in these pastures safe from those predators and scavengers, but then get eaten by humans who kill us quickly and cleanly. Really, when it comes down to it, I'd rather be killed before I know I'm dead."

'He's really been knocked on the head way too many times,' Mewtwo thought.

He flicked his tails. "But we generally don't think much on that. Too dismal. We'd rather get enraaaaged and beat down this rock and each other. Much better, don't you agree?"

"I don't know what to say to that," he replied honestly.

"Good. You wanna butt heads with me?"

Mewtwo teleported back onto the rock. "I think I'll pass." Then he teleported back to the Miltanks' pasture.

One of them nodded at him. "Crazy bunch, ain't they?"

"But they're so dreamy," the young one said, causing a great many giggles.

The psychic took another sip of the milk and considered things. What he was missing here, he concluded, was why in the world these Pokemon were happy with their simple, and sort of stupid, lives. So was it worth the time to study them and find out why?

Why were they happy?

…

Miltank Emerald entry: It gives over five gallons of milk daily. Its sweet milk is enjoyed by children and grown-ups alike. People who can't drink milk turn it into yogurt and eat it instead.

Emerald entry: It is not satisfied unless it is rampaging at all times. If there is no opponent for Tauros to battle, it will charge at thick trees and knock them down to calm itself.

Very random Mewtwo appearance… he gets his own entry later. Much later.