6-5 An important decision

"Gülnihal has listened to my proposal," says Ibrahim to Hasan and Nur when they rejoin us. "She hasn't told me her decision, but she hasn't dismissed my suggestion out of hand."

The look of expectation in Hasan's eyes gives me a pleasant feeling. I hope I understand its cause correctly and that it's because he likes me as a person rather than as a valuable prize. As much as I distrust Ibrahim's motives, his proposal at least promises an easier route to a new life for me.

"I should like to hear Hasan's view on Ibrahim's proposal before I give my decision," I say. "In private."

Ibrahim doesn't object to my request and he and Nur move into an adjacent room. It isn't quite the privacy I really wanted, but I don't insist. There was little privacy in the harem, so I've become accustomed to having others constantly around me.

"Do you wish to marry me?" I ask once Hasan and I are alone.

"Yes. I would feel privileged to love you, care for you and protect you. But Ibrahim is sending us on a hazardous mission. Are you sure you wish to undertake such a task?"

"Mission?!" I say, trying and succeeding in keeping my voice calm. "Ibrahim didn't say anything to me about any mission."

"Ah ... ermm ..." mumbles Hasan, realising he has said something Ibrahim only intended me to know about once I have agreed to his proposal. Fortunately, knowing Ibrahim, I have anticipated some unexpected twist to his proposal. I'm not as shocked at this revelation as Hasan thinks I might be.

"I'm sorry. I'd assumed that Ibrahim had told you everything," continues Hasan. "I suppose this means you will refuse to marry me."

"What makes you think that?" I ask. "Do you think me to be some timid girl who runs at the first sign of danger."

"Ibrahim has told me very little about you," replies Hasan. "But nothing about you leads me to think you to be timid. On the contrary, you show remarkable courage and presence of mind. I merely thought that having gained your freedom so recently, you wouldn't want to take the risk the mission entails."

I suspect Hasan really means that being pregnant I wouldn't want to place my child at risk, but he's being careful about what he says.

"Ibrahim told me that you believe that I'm pregnant. What leads you to that conclusion?"

"Yesterday you were walking through the jostling crowds in the street. On several occasions you placed your hand over your belly when you were close to another person. It's an instinctive action a mother takes to protect an unborn child. Of course, there could be other reasons for you to do that, but it's the most likely one."

I begin to understand what Ibrahim means about Hasan's observation skills. I also realise that Hasan must have been watching me yesterday for longer than I thought.

"As it turns out, you are correct about my being pregnant," I reply. "Does that change your wish to marry me? I'll understand if you don't want anything more to do with me."

"It changes nothing," replies Hasan without hesitation. "Ibrahim isn't the sort of person to offer a lowly soldier like me the opportunity to marry a hatun from the Imperial Palace. Even before I saw you, I suspected there was some catch to his offer. Am I to assume that Ibrahim is the child's father?"

"You may assume that," I reply, thankful that Hasan has given me a chance to broach the subject without telling a blatant lie. I don't like lying to Hasan, but doing otherwise places him in great danger. Ibrahim might have him killed if he ever thought Hasan knew the truth about the identity of my child's father.

I'd prefer to spend more time alone with Hasan so that we can get to know each other better before giving my answer to Ibrahim's proposal. It's an important decision which will affect the rest of my life. Unfortunately Ibrahim decides that we've had enough time to ourselves and he comes back into the room.

"Hasan mentioned something about a mission," I say to Ibrahim as soon as he enters. "I don't recall you mentioning that to me when we talked. What mission?"

"It's a mission for Hasan and Nur to undertake," replies Ibrahim as though I've no right to know about the mission. "You only need to be with them and play the part of Hasan's loving wife. Do that, and you will be perfectly safe. Besides, I would be placing Hasan and Nur in danger if I told you the details, only to find that you won't accept my proposal."

I suppose Ibrahim has a point about his reason for not telling me earlier, but I'm not willing to let him off so easily.

"Hasan believes this mission carries some risk to me," I reply. "So I would like to hear more about this mission before I give my answer to your proposal."

"Only if you promise to keep what I tell you a secret if you decide against marrying Hasan," growls Ibrahim, clearly unhappy at my truculence. I simply nod in agreement to his condition.

"Many prisoners and hostages were taken during the recent Hungarian campaign," says Ibrahim. "Many more than you saw before you left the Imperial Harem. Some are wives and daughters of Hungarian nobles and military leaders. They are being held as hostages to deter any insurrection now that the main Ottoman army has returned home. It is likely some of those hostages will try to escape, or their family will try to rescue them. Consequently the most important hostages are going to be held under guard at a hunting lodge not far from Constantinople. Hasan's and Nur's mission is to mingle with the extra servants being sent to the lodge, and keep a watch for any signs of an escape or rescue attempt. As Hasan's wife you will also be among the lodge's servants, but I don't expect you to be a spy."

"What Ibrahim omits to tell you is that if my secret role is discovered then both you and I will be in danger," adds Hasan. "Not all the servants can be trusted to be loyal to the empire."

"You said the lodge is near Constantinople," I say to Ibrahim. "What of the risk that someone from the palace sees and recognises me?"

"I don't see that as a problem," replies Ibrahim. "Your story is simple, and not far from the truth. You were sent to Salonica after the sultan tired of you. There I and Mercan Aga found you a husband. It's a common fate for concubines who are no longer required in the Imperial Harem. Hasan is a member of the prestigious Çelebi family, and he will be disguised as a relatively important servant at the lodge. Nobody will question his suitability to be your husband."

Ibrahim and Hasan allow me a few moments to consider what has been said. I silently concede that Ibrahim's plan for me has no obvious flaws. While I have only just met Hasan, I at least have the option of saying yes or no to a marriage. That's more than I had expected when I was in Poland before my enslavement. Our local custom was for parents to arrange their child's marriage so as to achieve some commercial or political gain for the family.

"I agree to your proposal, and I will be Hasan's wife," I reply. "What happens now?"

A lot happens next, and in a very short space of time. Ibrahim already had the necessary papers ready for Hasan and I to be married. In a matter of a few hours Hasan and I become husband and wife. Nur quickly packs her belongings and moves into her cousin's house next door. It's only for one night, since tomorrow Nur, Hasan and I are to set off on our journey to Constantinople. Ibrahim doesn't bother waiting to see us off, and he leaves with only the briefest of farewells.

Finally, when Hasan and I are alone, the magnitude of today's changes to my life begin to sink in. Suddenly I feel nervous and begin to wonder whether I've done the right thing. Hasan must sense my change in mood and stops in the middle of packing his things for tomorrow's journey.

"Are you having second thoughts?" he asks. "There is no need for you to accompany me to Constantinople. My family will look after you here if you prefer."

"You are my husband," I reply. "My duty is by your side. Besides, we can hardly pretend my child is yours if we are living apart."

"There's always tonight for us to conceive a child," laughs Hasan.

"My pregnancy will begin to show in a few weeks. Far too soon for a child conceived on this night. Your family will become suspicious and turn against me. It will be much safer for us if we are somewhere far away from those who know us. But can we trust Nur?"

"Nur won't betray us," says Hasan with confidence. "And we might need her skills on this mission before we are done."

I don't argue. My nervousness is abating and Hasan's closeness starts to stir other feelings inside me. Thanks to my training in the harem, I can soon tell that my proximity is having the same effect on Hasan. Without thinking I react in the way that I've been taught to do. His interest soon changes into something stronger. Before long he is ready to mount me and slake his lust for my body. But I guide him away from instant gratification. Time and time again the harem teachers drummed into their students that intimate couplings are more rewarding with patience. Sultan Suleiman obviously knew this as well, as it took no great effort on my part for us to mutually enjoy the experience. Hasan isn't so skilled. If I'm not careful he will spill his precious seed before we can explore all the delights of our union.

"Patience, my love," I whisper in his ear. "Don't mistake me for a whore who charges by the hour. I am yours and you are mine. We have all night."

My comparison of myself to a prostitute shocks him a bit and I suddenly fear that I've offended him. After all, I don't really know him all that well. I had assumed that as a soldier he was no stranger to the act of purchasing a prostitute's time. Perhaps I'm wrong ... but I don't think so.

"Is that how Ibrahim thought of you?" asks Hasan. "A slave prostitute for him to hump at will."

"Not a prostitute, no," I reply. "But a slave girl with little choice in the matter. Let's agree not to talk about our former sexual encounters. From now on there is only us."

"Agreed," replies Hasan, who by now has removed all his clothes and is making a move to undress me.

"Let me," I say, stopping him from removing my clothes. I want to slow the pace of this encounter so we can both fully enjoy our first coupling.

I stand before him and hum a tune as I carefully strip myself bare. More than once he looks ready to leap forward and throw me to the floor, but my dance steps foil each of his attempts. To my delight his frustration only increases his desire for me. By the time I have finished, his manhood has swelled into a solid rod which all but the most timid of girls would be happy to devour. Even Hasan seems surprised at the size of his erection. However, I can tell that he's near to bursting, so I allow him to fulfil his need, even though I've so far only used a fraction of the tricks I could use to please him.

Our first coupling that night was too brief for my liking. But the second was much better, and to Hasan's credit, he managed three more before I finally milked him dry. By that time he was also paying more attention to what pleases me, and he allowed me to take the lead in our final union. We both fall into an exhausted sleep in the early hours of the morning ... nowhere near ready to depart for Constantinople in a few hours.